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NEW RELEASES
A brief overview of new
DVD and Video releases that Tuna and I covered
this week.
"Desperate but not
Serious" (VHS). No nudity. I thought it was
pretty lame, but my 13 year old daughter laughed
a lot at it, if that tells you anything. Two
girls have a night on the town in LA. Claudia
Schiffer is the third lead - a punk singer that
they keep running into. Claudia isn't as bad an
actress as you might think, but she is uglied up
here. If you want to hire someone who is kinda
ugly and anti-establishment, you can hire Janeane
Garofalo. Why hire one of the world's 25 most
beautiful women, with limited acting ability, and
give her a role that requires some acting and no
beauty? Claudia's strange combination of accents
- California Bim with only a slight hint of
German - like a German exchange student in a
Valley high school - always cracks me up.
"Like, totally in ordnung, mein dude"
"Dogtown"
(VHS). No nudity. Indie movie about an aspiring
actor who returns to his home town 10-15 years
after high school, and sees how people's lives
have changed. Depressing and aspires to
naturalistic heights, but really covers no new
ground.
"Prophecy III: The
Ascent". I was really surprised to see that
this is a good genre movie, with dynamite
performances and some good dialogue, spoiled by a
really silly ending. Lucifer is gone from the
angel war in this one, but Gabriel is back with
several other new players. Christopher Walken
turns in one of his very best performances as
Gabriel, the angel who has been in human form so
long that he's fallen in love with the idea of
humanity. He is weary and ironic and
compassionate and joyful and has become so human
that the arrogant angels have complete contempt
for him. I loved the scene where he blows his
horn (along with the car radio) - it's worth
watching just for that. Vincent Spano is also
appropriately intense as Zophiel. Nudity only
from the extras. (see below)
"Outside
Providence" is a blue collar coming-of-age
movie. Kind of the 1970's trailer-trash version
of American Pie. The movie is based on a novel
written by one of the Farrelly brothers before
they hit the big time. It is an OK watch, but
don't expect much of the raucous nihilistic humor
of "Something about Mary" or
"Kingpin". There is some humor in
evidence (the star's stoner friends are pretty
funny), but the movie is much closer to the heart
than their other works. No nudity, which
disqualifies it as a worthy coming of age movie
in my book. Features a surprising performance by
former tough-glamour-boy Alec Baldwin as a fat
slob beer-swilling dad with a Rhode Island accent
and much more depth than he's willing to admit.
"The Color of
Money". Sequel to "The Hustler"
just released on DVD features a young Tom Cruise.
More to the point, it features some nudity from
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. See below.
"Emmanuelle 5"
and "Emmanuelle 6" (both below):
according to Tuna (who did these two), Emmanuelle
5 is a lifeless addition to the saga, but
Emmanuelle 6 might be worth a look. Here are his
comments: "Emmanuelle 6 is much better than
Emmanuelle In Space or Emmanuelle 5 (of course
that is not a real challenge). We return to lust
exotic settings, exotic women, and some sensual
moments. Emmanuelle has an unexplained role
leading a group of models into the Amazon to
model jewelry, clothes and skin for a rich
plantation owner. The jewels come with an
insurance company rent-a-cop attached. They are
all double-crossed, and the women are to sold
into slavery. This entire story is told in
flashback as amnesiac Emmanuelle recalls what
happened."
"Emmanuelle: First
Contact" is a complete rip-off. It is a DVD
version of 1994's "Emmanuelle: Queen of the
Galaxy", with Krista Allen. I don't know
why, but it has been cut to shreds (and it wasn't
that good to begin with). Half of the characters
in the credits aren't even in this print, and
Krista Allen, as Emmanuelle, has almost been cut
down to an extra's role. Avoid this like the
plague. I'll have some caps tomorrow.
"Blue Juice".
I didn't see it. Tuna capped it, and it can be
found above in the non-member stuff. Catherine
Zeta Jones flick with no nudity, although Tuna
got some good bikini underwear shots. "The
Bone Collector". No nudity. Tuna's caps
appeared yesterday.
"The
Color of Money", from Johnny Web
Mary Elizabeth
Mastrantonio (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)
"Prophecy
III", from Johnny Web
Assorted (#1, #1)
"Emmanuelle
5", from Tuna
NEW FEATURE. If you love Tuna's
work but are daunted by the quantity of his
output, this might help. Click here for a
thumbnail index of all of Tuna's pics from this
film. Study the index first, the download the
ones you want
Monique Gabrielle (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8) Harem Girls (#1, #2, #3)
"Emmanuelle
6", from Tuna
NEW FEATURE. If you love Tuna's
work but are daunted by the quantity of his
output, this might help. Click here for a
thumbnail index of all of Tuna's pics from this
film. Study the index first, the download the
ones you want
Nathalie Uher (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11) Miscellaneous (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20)
"Sexual
Malice", from GR
Diana Barton
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