Beloved (1998) -- I am the wrong person to be writing a review of this film - in short, I detested it, and found nothing of merit during the entire running time. Made for $53M, much of it from star Oprah Winfrey, it only grossed $22.8M. IMDb readers have it at 5.6 of 10. It did receive an Oscar nomination for Costume. Critics have it 70% positive at IMDb, and the other 30% absolutely hated it. Scoopy found it a beautifully made film that was clearly not commercial. If I recall his argument correctly, it was made from a truly great book which was impossible to translate to the screen. Therefor, those who loved the book would be dissatisfied, and those who hadn't read the book would be confused during the three hours of running time.
From my standpoint, it was a ghost story with no hint of fright, either startle or suspense, and seemed to have the revolutionary theme that it sucked to be a slave. I have nothing against Oprah, as a matter of fact, the one friend of mine who has appeared on her show says she is a totally genuine person, and that the Oprah you see on the show is the real woman. The only performance I had a problem with was the ghost, played by Thandie Newton, although I guess you can excuse the gravely voice, since her throat was cut as a baby, and she had been dead and buried for 18 or so years. We do see her breasts and bush at the ending, when she vanishes from a front porch, and also get a dark view of her bush in an earlier scene.
I am not sure what to call the genre, but those who like it really like it, so the proper score is C+, but count me among the 30% who found no merit in it.
"Five Easy Pieces"
Five Easy Pieces (1970) is a film I had seen (hasn't everyone), but never capped. This acclaimed film earned Golden Globe and Oscar nominations for Writer/Director Bob Rafelson, and costars Jack Nicholson and Karen Black. Nicholson plays a "rebel without a clue." He grew up in a wealthy musical household in Washington, and was a child prodigy on the piano, but rebelled and became a sullen drifter. While it is never clear why he made these choices, it is a brilliant portrayal of this type of personalty, and the films contains one of those :best of all time" scenes, when Nicholson is ordering breakfast in a diner.
We first meet him at work in an oil field. When his buddy is arrested, he screws Sally Struthers, then heads to Washington with Black to see his family. His father has had multiple strokes, and he feels an obligation to make peace with him. While there, he has an affair with his sister-in-law to be.
Rotten Tomatoes critics rate it 85% positive. IMDb readers say 7.4 of 10. Black shows breasts through a black negligee, and Struthers shows breasts in a hyper sex scene with Nicholson. This was startling and new in 1970, being one of the first of the new breed of Independent films, which felt free to brake the cliches. Even though many films now do this, this remains a favorite due to the great character development, and fine performances. B.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site has been updated. Julie Gayet is featured this week.
Langrishe, Go Down (1978):
This is a Harold Pinter teleplay that was first broadcast on the
BBC in 1978.
Pinter, the husband of Lady Antonia Fraser, may be the most
famous living English playwright, and has been celebrated as a giant
of the theater since he was still in his twenties. He's not that old
now (74), but has been an established playwright for nearly 50
years. He's an author whose oeuvre is the power of implication,
whose characters always mean something quite different from what
they say and demand that you and the other characters figure out
what they really mean.
When his style works, it can be very effective. Mysterious
threats appear in the form of ominous visitors. They don't do or say
anything threatening, and yet they are - sinister. Tension is
created with pauses, glances, silence. People seem to exist only in
the present. Characters are more symbolic than filled in. Real
communication rarely happens. Dialogue often consists of
non-sequiturs or ironic filler like "oh, have you really?"
Frankly, I don't know what he was driving at with with this
script, but I found it impossible to appreciate in any way. A lonely
Irish spinster and a pretentious Bavarian graduate student who is
studying Irish folklore meet, and fall in and out of a relationship
in the 1930s, in the way-too-quiet Irish countryside. The script is
filled with speeches - endless pontificating and pompous digressions
about various uncinematic matters like the reproduction cycle of
bees and the Irish theatrical tradition.
It would be a complete waste of time without two of the greatest
actors in film history, Jeremy Irons and Judi Dench. No, check that.
That isn't precisely what I mean. That sentence should read: "It is
a complete waste of time, despite the presence of two of the
greatest actors in film history." It is lifeless, tedious, and
unfocused. It was made for television in 1978, so it is in a 4:3
aspect ratio, and the quality of the print is not even mediocre. The
original cinematography may have been quite good, but it's difficult
to say that with certainty because this bears the same resemblance
to a movie that a faxed sixth generation Xerox of an Ansel Adams
photo bears to the original photo. If you see that multi-generation
fax, you might conclude that Ansel was a helluva photographer, but
you would not know for sure. Same problem exists here.
Besides its historical value (it was not seen for decades), the
only interesting thing about the film is a significant amount of
nudity from a woman I would like to think of as my personal sex
slave, Dame Judi Dench. You haven't lived until you have seen Judi
Dench putting whipped cream on her nipples. Well, at least until
you've seen a faxed sixth generation Xerox of Judi Dench putting
whipped cream on her nipples.
- Dame Judi Dench. (1,
7) Judi was just born too soon. The J-Lo,
Beyonce, Winslet giant booty look was not in fashion in Judi's
day. Come back with that jumbo ass now, and she'd be a love
Melvin and Howard (1980):
I ordered the new DVD of Melvin and Howard because the old one
didn't have a full screen version (thus eliminating Steenbergen's
pubic hair), had no features, and was a crappy transfer.
It appears to me that the new DVD is just a re-issue with a new
cover. Don't order it. Same problems as the other one.
As for the film, I think Melvin and Howard is perhaps the single
film which is the most better than it sounds. You pick it up
dreading it, and you end up enjoying it.
- Mary Steenbergen. (1,
9) You can see full screen caps in the
Encyclopedia. (They are made from VHS tapes. )
- Five new clips from
Dawn of the Dead
- Four more behind-the-scenes clips from
Bush Site Unplugs Poster Tool: "The Bush-Cheney
presidential campaign disabled features of a tool on its website
(we linked to it about two days ago) that pranksters were using to
mock the Republican presidential ticket. The tool originally let
users generate a full-size campaign poster in PDF format,
customized with a short slogan of their choice. But Bush critics
began using the site to place their own snarky political messages
above a Bush-Cheney '04 logo and a disclaimer stating that the
poster was paid for by Bush-Cheney '04, Inc."
- Here is a fun game. Before you click on this link about
mentally rank these five people in order of how much they earned
last year: Simon Cowell, Hillary Duff, Judge Judy, Halle Berry,
Anna Nicole Smith. I'll be mighty surprised if you get
Fight Club author says people faint when he reads his new book,
"Guts", out loud. Hey, the first rule of "Guts" is
never talk about "Guts".
No regular jail can hold Martha Stewart: "I can almost
bend steel with my mind. I can bend anything if I try hard enough.
I can make myself do almost anything", she told Oprah in an
interview. Whoa. They better get out that special jail they used
to hold Magneto in X-2. Martha also said, " I think baking cookies
is equal to Queen Victoria running an empire."
The definitive reflectoporn photo collection.
A man digging in his backyard in southwest England has unearthed
tens of thousands of Roman coins
Now playing shortstop, from Broken Arrow Oklahoma, Destiny
JANET TELLS WHAT HAPPENED: Janet officially calls Super Bowl
incident an 'accident.': She spoke through her new
official spokesman, Baghdad Bob.
Opening Day for the Bosox on Good Friday - no Fenway franks for
the Boston Irish Catholics this year.
Quick, get A-Rod one of those I Love NY stickers. And
if they have a baseball team in Rio, he'll take his salary in lap
dances and caipirinhas.
Kid Tries To Sell Dope To Cops With 'Police' Jackets:
"whoa, totally excellent Halloween costumes, dudes!"
Is Barbra Streisand a Mother Focker or not?
New Speedo 'Shark' Swimsuit Is World's Fastest, and
will definitely be your favorite if you love camel toes.
- In honor of Spring, some
funny and strange baseball cards.
- The first trailer from
Saved! (Teen themed movie with Jena Malone, Mandy
Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit)
- The trailer from
SHREK 2. coming MAY 21
The Daily Show analyzes whether the Fiddler on the Roof revival is
unsemitic. Do they know bupkis?
The Daily Show looks at Kerry's supposed "microphone malfunction"
Chris Rock tops EW's "25 funniest Americans" list, just
edging out Jon Stewart, Will Farrell, Dave Chappelle, and John
Next generation tech gadgets.
Variety's current FILM PRODUCTION CHART
Judge Roy Moore Speaks! - A Christian right presidential run
creaks a half-inch forward. . If George Soros were
really as smart as he's supposed to be, he would be financing this
guy, just as the RNC financed Nader commercials in 2000.
Spain's grief in pictures.
- Watch the first nine minutes of
Taking Lives , Jolie's new thriller.
BritishPanoramics.com, a journey through the British countryside
and heritage. This man is a great photographer. Simply
Today's Front Pages. 281 major newspapers from 37
Random "Law and Order" Plot Generator
- This week's movies:
Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London. 32/100. "Should
have been stopped at customs -- as family entertainment, it
constitutes child abuse."
- This week's movies:
Secret Window. 44/100. The general consensus: Johnny
Depp was good as usual, but the movie kinda bit the big one.
- This week's movies:
Spartan. 55/100. This is David Mamet's new political
thriller. Reviewers were sharply divided. Roger Ebert awarded four
Did President Bush go AWOL to have a passionate affair with Jane
Fonda? Or did she prefer Dick?
Inventor patents device for ads in space.: "Alexander
Lavrynov, a spacecraft designer, said he has patented a device for
putting advertising into space that would be seen from Earth"
McDonald's responded that advertising is present in nature, and
that the Big Bang was really just a way of super-sizing the
House passes Upton indecency bill. The U.S. House of
Representatives overwhelmingly passed post-tittygate legislation
that will fine broadcasters up to $500,000 per incident for airing
Pete Rose gets something better than the Hall. He's named Chief
Justice of the Supreme Court.
FallonFey.com has now loaded the Weekend Update from the last
Saturday Night Live.
- Kelly Monaco, Playmate in April 1997 and featured player in
Here is her Playmate Gallery Courtesy of
- Four short sample videos from
Playboy's Amateur Home Videos!
Posthumous star on Hollywood Walk of Fame honors 'Cat in the Hat'
author Dr. Seuss. The Doc's wife delivered the Quote of
the Day, ""I think if Ted could see this he would say, 'Thank God
I am dead!'".
- He might have gone on to say, "I died without noggles and
brizzles and scent. I died without buskets and nary a tent. I
asked for no star when I came or I went. But I'm deader than
Franco, 100 percent"
The Best Live Bloopers from the BBC.
- In honor of the crazy Wal-Mart lady and her million dollar
Freaking News has a contest to "Design new US bank notes or
- Here's the trailer for
New York Minute , which is said to be an action comedy
in the tradition of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Stars Eugene Levy
and the dreaded, still underage Olsen twins.
- GALLUP Report:
Passion viewers passionate about the movie.
11% of all Americans have already seen it (that does reconcile
quite accurately with the box office take), and 34% more say they
will see it at the theaters. If that pans out, the film may pass
Titanic as the all-time domestic box office champ. Another 31% say
they plan to see it on home video. Those who have seen it are
generally quite pleased with it.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Nothing goes together like nude hitchhiking and
French Chanson, except maybe applesauce and beer. Here is some 1995
trivia for you really old time members on the site. The nude pic of
Madonna hitchhiking was the first naked picture ever to appear in
Uncle Scoopy's Fun House! (It started as jokes and links only. The
original Fun House is called Other Crap today). These clips are from
the video that accompanied her Sex book. (.avi version (clip one
only), .wmv version (1,
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
A couple of weeks ago, in a short blurb about the
movie, Terror Firmer, the line "awful even by Troma
standards" was used. Well, if Student Confidential
(1987) was the standard by which all other Troma films
were judged, Terror Firmer would be that company's
Return of the Kings.
You cannot believe what a muddled mess this movie is.
There this guy, see. And he's a millionaire with a
whack-o nympho of a wife, but she won't screw him and
even though she lolls around the house all nekkid and
stuff, she gets pissed when he looks at her. And he
becomes a school counselor and gives all kinds of
high-minded speeches to no one in particular and gets
the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of guys who he
hired in the first place or something and... None of
it makes a lick of sense.
The way I figure it, a floridly psychotic individual
wrote a long screenplay in which the scenes that did
make sense were broken up by scenes that were just
plain fruitcakes, so someone else cut out all the
craziness and they made a movie that turned a profit.
Then someone else had the idea of taking all the
lithium-deprived scenes that had been cut in the first
movie, filming THEM and selling it as another movie by
a writing genius. Things aren't random but there is
such temporal and logical oddness you just know it was
written, filmed and edited by someone with two
functioning neurons and one active synapse. It is the
only way to explain what you see when you look at
Three women do take off their clothes.
Susie Scott, Hefmate for the month of May 1983, goes
full frontal on us in her one and only screen
appearance outside the videos the Hefster markets
himself. Susie plays a student who is unpopular with
the guys 'cuz she has a facial scar, which I could not
see at all. Plus the idea that a blonde with her bod
couldn't get any action because of a tiny imperfection
violates the Blonde Rule (which states that if you put
a blonde wig on a rat's ass there are plenty of guys
who will ask it out for a date).
Paula Sorenson plays the millionaire-counselor's
nympho wife. She also has a right nice full-frontal
Elizabeth Singer plays the rich bad girl, a character
all teen movies must have or they risk causing a fatal
rip in the space-time continuum. She gets almost
topless in a scene with the millionaire guy and then
does get topless in a much later, much darker scene.
I know not what the Troma guys were up to when they
did this one. None of their films reach the standards
set by MGM or Paramount, but usually there is
something to hang onto. Not here. This little puppy
scores a nice fat 1.6/10 on IMDB and is a big fat Z on
anyone's report card.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Topnotch British crime thriller tells of a writer who takes a job as a croupier to get by, despite misgivings. A former stint in South Africa had addicted him to the gambling life, despite the fact that he doesn't gamble.
Things get dicey when he is attracted to a woman gambler who has a plan for robbing the casino, and needs his help. Everyone did a great job in this 1998 movie, and the ending will surprise most.
|Mr. Nude Celeb takes a look at the the thriller "Cabin Fever". "Not Another Teen Movie" co-star Vincent looks great topless, and Jordan Ladd stays clothed, but still looks just fine.
||The ultra cute "24" co-star showing off some impressive cleavage at a red carpet thing. Thanks to Squiddy.
|The Skin-man delivers another batch of 'caps from the 1997 B-movie "The Corporate Ladder". Here we see the ex-wife the TV Highlander (Adrian Paul) showing off her robo-hooters.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
McDONALD'S SALAD FATTIER THAN BURGER AND FRIES
Caesar Comes To Bury You - McDonald's hopes to get a more healthy image by
doing away with Supersizing and offering nutritional information and
salads. But the chain was embarrassed this week after someone noticed
their website revealed that their new Caesar Chicken Salad has more fat
than a regular burger and medium fries combined. A spokeswoman insisted
that customers can choose a salad, topping and dressing to fit their diet
For instance, in my case: the Caesar Chicken Salad.
Order a salad with no topping or dressing...then dump it onto a
Their big mistake: offering nutritional information.
BOOBGATE: THE FALLOUT CONTINUES
Models Of Propriety - In the latest fallout from Janet Jackson's boob
flash, Tyra Banks announced that a much-hyped episode of "America's Next
Top Model," in which the model wannabes get nasty with some male models,
has been edited to remove the orgy.
Actually, it was mostly the male models having the orgy.
The models misunderstood: they were supposed to have an orgy with the
head of the modeling agency.
Okay, I think this is the point at which we can all agree, the backlash
has gone too far!
Go FCC Yourself - FCC Chairman Michael Powell called on Congress to clarify
the laws to give the FCC power to regulate not just broadcast, but also the
violent content on cable TV.
That's right: No more Three Stooges on Nickelodeon!
He wants "The Sopranos" to stop whacking each other and play
nice...Also, they should say "Aw, fudge" from now on.