"8 1/2 Women"

8 1/2 Women (1999), the latest offering from Peter Greenaway. I capped the US DVD, which came after a theatrical release that grossed less than half a million. It didn't surprise me that this film wasn't very commercial, his seldom are. It did surprise me that it was not very good. I just received a French version from Austria (it was a joint French/English production, hoping it would have additional exposure. Unfortunately, both versions are the same.

It is the story of a big dollar debt collector, very wealthy, who lives in Geneva. As the film opens, he has just acquired 8 1/2 Pachinko parlors in Kyoto. His son is running them. When his wife dies, his son returns. The father is deeply depressed, and the son takes him to see Felini's 8 1/2. That inspires them to set up a "brothel" in their Swiss chalet for their own amusement. They acquire 8 1/2 women (the half is a girl with no legs). They start off thinking that wealth gives them power, and that they control the women. Before everything is over, they find out that it is the modern woman who really has all of the power.

Greenaway claims he made this as a homage to Felini. He doesn't disappoint in terms of shocking ideas. He has one woman who has sex with horses and pigs (a female pig at that), a young Japanese girl who wants to become a female impersonator so she can be more feminine, a thief who wants to be a nun, and father/son incest. I am sure Greenaway packed this with symbolism, but he didn't chose to make it accessible to his audiences. The biggest crime, to me, however, was that he made a film entirely about sexual reawakening and debauchery with not so much as one sex scene. In the end, it is not strangeness or undecipherable symbolism that ruined this film for me, it was shear boredom.

Amanda Plummer - breasts and buns.
Annie Shizuka Inoh - breasts and buns
Kirina Mano - breasts
Polly Walker - All three Bs
Toni Collette - breasts and bush, or rather shaved pubic area.

IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Ebert says 3 stars, praising the dry humor, Berardinelli says 2 1/2, and Rotten Tomatoes gives it 36%, with 50% from the top critics. I am a big Greenaway fan, and this was my least favorit3e of his films. It is, as always, visually stunning, with plenty of nudity, but I just didn't find the story at all engaging. C-.

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  • Amanda Plummer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Annie Shizuka Inoh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Kirina Mano (1, 2)
  • Polly Walker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Toni Collette (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Scoop is taking the day off, but here's a little bit of Other Crap...

    Other crap:

    What're the odds?

    GOLF! Odds to win the US Money List except for Woods

    Odds without Tiger Woods. Closing Date: Mar 13, 2003 08:00

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Ernie Els 2.1
    Mike Weir 5.0
    Phil Mickelson 6.0
    Vijay Singh 7.0
    David Toms 11.0
    Charles Howell III 15.0
    Davis Love III 15.0
    Jim Furyk 26.0
    Sergio Garcia 34.0
    Retief Goosen 34.0
    Chris DiMarco 34.0
    Jerry Kelly 51.0
    Kyoung Ju Choi 51.0
    Scott Hoch 51.0
    Justin Leonard 67.0
    Robert Allenby 67.0
    Chris Riley 81.0





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    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Scorpion's Skinemax
    Dee Summer Breasts, bum bush and plenty of pseudo sex in scenes from "Hot Club California".

    Kendra Tucker Topless and full frontal in scenes from the "Grading on a Curve" episode of the late night series "Love Street".

    Kim Kopf Topless and a hint of bush is the "Hot Set" episode of "Love Street".

    Kim Yates
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Skinemax regular showing all 3 B's (but mostly breasts) in scenes from two late night cable series. Links 1 and 2 from the "Private Dance" episode of "Erotic Confessions". Links 3-5 from the series "The Pleasure Zone", episode "Corporate Merger".

    Sabrina Allen Giving a topless dance in the "Private Dance" episode of "Erotic Confessions".

    Kim Yates and Sabrina Allen Also from the "Private Dance" episode...both ladies privately dancing.

    Lisa Comshaw From "The Pleasure Zone", episode "Hidden Desires"...Comshaw shows robo-boobs, bum and just a hint of pubes.

    Tracy Ryan Topless in "Hot Club California".

    Tracy Ryan and Mia Zottoli One more from "Hot Club California", this time some nice lesbo lovin'.

    Patricia Rhomberg
    (1, 2, 3)

    Hard core 'caps from "Sensational Janine" (1976).

    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    From "Swept Away"...To borrow from comic book guy, this is one of the worst.movies.ever. At least there's some nudity. We see Madonna's breasts in 4 and 5, plus an assortment of partial nude scenes (including a wide open crotch view in #2).

    Angelina Jolie Topless and gettin' it on with Antonio Banderas in scenes from "Original Sin". The movie itself isn't anything special, but this love scene was worth the rental.

    Britney Spears From the UK tabliod the Sun...Britney's bum is now competing with J-Lo's caboose.

    Tara Moss
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The international best-selling author, public speaker and fashion model. Links 1-3 are sexy non-nudes. In links 4-6 she's posing topless.

    Patsy Kensit A fantastic collage by Dann of the UK actress topless, full frontal and gettin' it on in scenes from "Angels & Insects" (1995).

    Vanessa Kay From "The Man Show" of, if not the bustiest of the Juggies. Here she is just barely keeping the puppies contained.

    Pam Anderson
    Yasmine Bleeth
    Brande Roderick
    Stacy Kamano
    Gena Lee Nolin
    Angelica Bridges
    Nicole Eggert
    Alexandra Paul

    The lovely ladies of "Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding" showing a whole bunch of cleavage as they all pose in bikinis for their spread in FHM magazine. Great scans by Onkel.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    It Was A Service To Men, Anyway - Madonna told W magazine that she wonders, "Why did I make that choice" to do her X-rated 1992 photo book, "Sex." She said, "I thought I was doing a service to mankind, being revolutionary, liberating women. I wasn't." She said it wasn't just about sex, but money, power and getting people's approval, and "I was just being an ego-driven nutcase." She said she now realizes she is famous for a reason, and "My real responsibility is to bring light to the world and make the world a better place."

  • She should've thought of that before she released her last CD.
  • Good to see she's got that ego under control.
  • I thought the reason she was famous was that she posed butt naked in 1992.
  • She did make the world a better place, if you like nudity.
  • If she wants to make the world a better place, she should never make another movie!

    He Prefers Derry Air - Britain's Sun tabloid reports that Jennifer Lopez blew her top when she discovered that fiance Ben Affleck and his brother Casey had bought tickets to ride on the new Hooters airline. J-Lo reportedly asked how he would feel if she took a flight where the stewards were all Chippendales dancers. The properly whipped Ben saw her point and canceled his ticket.

  • He can go after the divorce...It won't take that long.
  • Besides, Ben's not that interested in Hooters...He prefers Big Ass Airlines.
  • Didn't J-Lo meet her last husband on a planeful of Chippendales dancers?

  • Mail Bag
    Meg Ryan in "The Presidio" update:

    Hey Scoop,

    Here is a little update to the question I asked last week about Meg Ryan in "The Presidio" that I found while looking around for information.

    "In footage only available on the European DVD release, Meg Ryan is seen topless as she rides a guy during a love scene."

    Can any Funhouse reader confirm this? And if so which Euro release? (UK, German, ect.)Amazon offers a German version (that probably contains the scene) but does that version have a English voice track? If any Funhouse reader (or maybe even yourself) can confirm this for me I'd appreciate it.

    Anyway I hope this helps someone else who was wondering about this for future reference.


    Jr's reply...I'm not sure of region info, or if this is indeed the scene you are looking for, but Palrune did these 'caps that feature Ryan topless and on top a while back.