Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

This came from It appears to be raw footage with some temporary scoring. I don't know if it is in either the European or the American version of the film.

Two choices on the video.

Here are the collages of Anne Caillon and Sharon Stone. As you can see if you compare them to the video clips, I brightened them a ton, but they cleaned up pretty doggoned nice!

Sharon Stone

Anne Caillon


Underworld: Evolution (2006)

This is a zipped .avi film clip. Pretty good quality, albeit dark. There should be some exposed flesh in there somewhere, but they did a great job of hiding whatever might have appeared. Beckinsale is not big on nudity, so enjoy whatever you can see.



In the Cut (2002)

In the Cut is most famous for Meg Ryan's nude scenes. Here is the best-lit topless action, her bath, in a short zipped .avi. EXTREMELY good quality. (HDTV)

Other Crap:


Daily Box Office - Friday, March 10, 2006

  • Despite poor reviews, Failure to Launch finishes far above the competition
  • Two other new releases finish #2 and #3


Colbert's word of the day: "Do It Yourself."

"Stephen Colbert tells Lorraine Bracco she's a poison on society."

The Daily Show: "With the closing of Abu Ghraib, testicle electrodes dangle quietly; the hoods rustle in the wind."

"Bruce Bartlett, the author of 'Impostor,' talks to Jon Stewart about losing his job over the content of his book."

The Daily Show looks at Black Republicans.

Does fasting rid the body of toxins?"

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog talks begrudgingly, via satellite, about an upcoming appearance on Attack of the Show

Here's a tip for you youngsters - one more reason to avoid drugs and booze. 39 year old Salma Hayek and 19 year old Lindsay Lohan - which one LOOKS older?

Cheney Rampage Leaves Americans Fearful of Entering the Woods

"Republicans Riot over Brokeback Mountain Parody"

A new trailer re-mix - Blue Velvet as a romantic comedy

A cool retro-promo of Superman in general, followed by a trailer for the new Superman flick.

"Prostitutes get own radio station"

  • "You're tuned to KUNT, and let's head up to the Kuntcopter for our traffic report."

And they say that the theater is dead ... "Barbie doll gets live stage show"

  • "Barbie Live in Fairytopia, starring 24-year-old actress Erin Coors, will open in Ohio on 1 April and tour 80 US cities by 2008."

A deleted scene from Basic Instinct 2 (Warning: dirty talk and Brokeback Mountain music)

The niece of Osama bin Laden has signed on for a reality television show about her attempts to break into the music industry

  • I suggest a single-set sitcom about her and her uncle, set in a cave, with the same appliances as The Honeymooners. She concocts all kind of crazy schemes to break into show business, while wacky Uncle Osama keeps trying to persuade her into Jihad instead. Their neighbor, an incompetent and nervous fellow named al-Norton, is always embarrassed to have to explain to Osama why he's still alive when he's supposed to be a suicide bomber.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




"Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun"

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun (1977) is a Jess Franco nunsploitation film supposedly set in Portugal. Maria (Susan Hemingway) is 16, and living with her single mother. A priest sees her innocent flirting with a boy her age, and convinces her mother that the only way to save her soul is to put her in a nunnery. It is also necessary to donate her life savings. When Maria arrives, she in committed to the care of "high priestess" Ana Zanetti, who will have the job of punishing her and making her worthy. It isn't long before we learn that the high priestess and the good father are devil worshipers, and she is being prepared for virgin sacrifice to Satan.

She is wrapped in thorns, made to walk on thorns, forced to perform fellatio on the good father, locked in a cell, drawn and quartered, chained to a wall and raped by Satan. She is even forced to confess an erotic dream to the priest, who jacks off as he probes her for more details. When she threatens to report them to the Holy Inquisition, they strike first, denouncing her as a witch, A last minute reprieve from the "Prince of Portugal" after seeing a letter she tossed out the window saves her and punishes the guilty parties. As I write this, I almost feel guilty for invading Hankster territory.

There are so many controversial elements to this film it is hard to know where to start. The whole idea of a corrupt convent and a priest extorting money from a parishioner is bad enough, but the Inquisition is presented as a mostly political group who doesn't really much care about morality. The photography, in many scenes, is beautiful and cheerful, except in dungeon torture scenes. Even the burning at the stake scene is outdoors in bright sunlight with alabaster walls and green pine branches for kindling. The torture scenes include the usual Franco blood everywhere.

Susan Hemingway was perfectly cast as the 16 year old virgin, as she both looked and acted the part to perfection. Ana Zanetti was more than creepy enough as the twisted convent head. Hemingway does full frontal and rear nudity. Zanetti shows breasts and a gynocam close-up. Several other women show breasts during a black mass.

IMDb readers say 6.0. This film is more coherent and uses more conventional photography than is typical of Franco films. He uses many long shots to emphasize the isolation Maria feels. This is one of the better nunsploitation films I have seen, and is hence a X+.

Ana Zanatti

Susan Hemingway



A little variety today...

From "5 x2" we have Valeria Bruni Tedeschi showing off a nice set of hooters as well as some bush in a scene which winds up as kind of a rough sex scenario with her soon to be ex-husband.

Valeria Bruni Tedeschi

From "Bounty Hunters 2" -not to be confused with yesterday's "Bounty Huntress 2"- we have:

Jean Ferguson topless giving a guy a massage while others watch trough a one-way mirror.

Jean Ferguson

April Telek also shows off some toplessness as we see her in a window through a set of binoculars. She also flashes a bit more for a lingerie salesman.

April Telek

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Den of Lions"
Just average is what most viewers may think of this 2003 crime thriller, but at least Zita Gorog's figure is above average. If she looks familiar to you, you probably saw her full frontal appearance in 2005's 8MM 2.

In this one, a group of FBI agents is sent to Budapest to help rid the city of the Russian Mafia, who is involved in drug trafficking, white slavery, and prostitution, among other things. One of them, a Hungarian/American who still has family members in Budapest, is sent undercover to crack the ring from the inside.

As he gains the mob's trust, he discovers that they have obtained a nuclear detonator from renegades in the Russian Army, and are about to sell it to a Middle-Eastern terrorist group, so the stakes are suddenly much higher.

The story isn't bad, but the film drags at times, and doesn't really offer much of anything you haven't seen before, except possibly Zita. Hmmm, maybe that's enough.

Zita Gorog

'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"Pleasure Palace"
"Pleasure Palace" (1973) aka "Corrupted"...
A Canadian x-rated beaverploitation by director Ed Hunt (brother of Mike Hunt who is constantly getting lost at shopping malls). This movie is best known for future radio/television host Vicki Gabereau in a small fully-clothed speaking role. Other than that there is full beaver by one-timers Janice Duval, Bree Cole, Susan Garret, and various strippers and orgy participants.

Janice Duval Bee Cole Susan Garret Various

"Dr. Yes: The Hyannis Affair" (1983)
Another low budget beaverploitation but with more modern television production values and great lighting. This is part of the five-part mini-series about the Claus Von Bulow murder case. Britt Ekland is topless while Suzanne Baker and Stephanie Grant show the full beaver.

Britt Ekland Suzanne Barker Stephanie Grant

"Bizarre" update
The seven degrees of John Byner kicks in once again. Suzanne Barker is the topless redhead in the changing room sketch. She is best known for her role as Martin's Lady #2 in the first Police Academy installment.

Suzanne Barker

'Caps and comments by Oz:

"Mad Love"
No nudity in Mad Love (1995) but plenty of cleavage and some pokies by Drew Barrymore.

Drew Barrymore

"The United States of Leland"
Again, no nudity in The United States of Leland (2003) just some nice caps of Jena Malone.

Jena Malone

Some strippers provide the topless nudity in Piņero (2001) and Taliso Soto was often found in her underwear.

Taliso Soto Strippers

"Dirty War"
Dirty War (2004) contains full nudity by some unknowns when they undergo a decontamination shower after contamination by a terrorist's 'dirty' bomb.


"The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant"
Pat Priest, better known as Marilyn Munster, keeps her clothes on in The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant (1971) but she comes close to flashing a bit (look in the mirror).

Pat Priest

"Love Me If You Dare"
There's the briefest of breast exposure by Marion Cotillard in Love Me If You Dare (2003) and some pokies by Elodie Navarre.

Marion Cotillard Elodie Navarre

"After the Sunset"
No nudity in After the Sunset (2004) but there are a lot of sexy shots of Salma Hayek, Naomie Harris, Noemie Lenoir, Omahyra, Shakara Ledard and Audrey Quock.

Naomie Harris Noemie Lenoir and Omahyra Shakara Ledard and Audrey Quock

Salma Hayek

Susan Byun, topless in scenes from the 1991 Troma flick, "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D."

From Starbase, here is the Finnish-born star of Italian cinema, Anna Falchi topless while gettin' it on in scenes from the 1994 dark comedy, "Cemetery Man"