Candyman (1992) is an adaptation of a Clive Barker story that mixes scholarly study of urban legends with horror, murder, the supernatural, and insanity. Helen (Virginia Madsen) is a professor's wife working on her doctoral thesis on urban legends with AnneMarie (Vanessa Williams) when they become interested in the tale of Candyman, who has a hook for a hand and is rumored to be responsible for all the evil in the Chicago projects. All you have to do is say his name five times into a mirror, and he will show up and murder you. The obvious answer? Don't say Candyman five times into a mirror. Unfortunately, Helen can't see the obvious, and Candyman starts killing her friends and leaving her to take the blame, or maybe she is insane, and is doing the murders, or maybe Candyman is controlling her and forcing her to murder. ONe fo the strengths of this film is that it lets you form your opinion about what is going on, and what is imagined.
The film manages both startle and suspense freight, and is brilliantly filmed with a great cast. Virginia Madsen shows breasts in two scenes, and Carolyn Lowery, as a coed who is sleeping with Madsen's hubby, has a lengthy scene with great pokies. IMDB readers have this at 6.2 of 10. Ebert awarded three stars. This is not my genre, and I found myself drawn in. Many of the plot elements are simply not logical when scrutinized, but the film never really tells you what was real and what was imagined. I will give this a B-, as a film that will please many who usually don't enjoy the genre, and most genre fans as well.
Pleasure Party (1975), AKA Une partie de plaisir, is a relentless film about the ultimate male chauvinist. Compared to him, Jack Nicholson in Carnal Knowledge seems like Ward Cleaver. Paul Gégauff, who wrote the autobiographical story, plays the lead. They had planned on casting a prominent actor in the role, but nobody wanted to play a character that evil. The part of his wife was played by his real wife, Danièle Gegauff, and their daughter played their daughter. The three live in the country outside Paris on an orchard. He is mentally and physically abusive, much older, and feels that he married below his station, and is trying to educate her.
One night, he brings up the fact that he has had several meaningless affairs with other women, and convinces her she should sleep with other men for her education. It doesn't take her long to literally get into the swing of things, and she makes some interesting discoveries. Most other men are better lovers than her husband, she likes herself better around other men. Others are not abusive, and the ones she likes the most, her husband is the most jealous of. They eventually separate, and the husband marries Paula Moore, but is not happy with her, as she is a strong, financially independent woman, and he can't dominate her and feel superior.
So what does he do? When he travels with his ex to visit the grave of a relative, he demands that she get back together with him. When she refuses, he kicks her to death on the tomb. In the final scene, his daughter is visiting him in prison, and he acts like the loving caring father.
There is not a pleasant moment in the entire film. Danièle Gegauff does a full frontal and rear nude scene getting out of her lover's bed when hubby knocks down the door, and Paula Moore briefly shows breasts. IMDb readers have this at 7.2 based on 24 votes. I can't conceive why anyone would find merit in this film. If the point is that men are dogs, all women already know that, and no man believes it. The film quality is not at all good, and it is very talky, mostly with Paul Gégauff ranting. Despite the IMDb voters, I give this a D-, and advise that you steer clear.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Updated encyclopedia volumes: Diane Lane, Jessica Lange,
Karina Lombard, Debra Lamb, Ruby Larocca, Jennifer Jason Leigh,
A professional restorer comes upon a mystery when she's working
on an old Flemish painting. She uncovers a hidden inscription which
eventually leads her to some mysteries hidden in the painting,
long-forgotten messages involving a murder represented allegorically
by a chess game being played by the characters in the painting.
Meanwhile, events in the restorers own life start to parallel the
progress of that very same chess game. Some of her friends and
family are murdered, and she is sent a chess piece for each victim,
so she enlists a chess expert to help her predict the killer's next
There is nothing especially engaging about either the historical
mystery or the parallel contemporary murder mystery, but the movie
isn't bad if you like that sort of thing. I didn't find any reason
to fumble for the fast forward button, although the acting is hammy
and sometimes amateurish. Heaven only knows how Kate Beckinsale ever
made a career as an actress after this effort. If you're a fan, you
may want to avoid this flick, in which her acting is about at the
level of a primary school Christmas show.
The film does have two very big positives:
1. Extensive nudity from Kate Beckinsale, who hasn't gotten naked
on camera before or since, and is now a major star.
2. Lovely visuals of Barcelona, which is one of the most
photogenic cities in the world. In fact, the director was completely
smitten by the city and was leaving his camera on interesting sights
even when it was slowing down the movie.
- Beckinsale (1,
8). You will note that the first two collages show a
camera angle right up her spread legs. Is that her coochie, or was
she wearing a modesty patch? I don't know. It's just pure
blackness, and there is no definition of any kind to be seen up
there in the Inn of the Seventh Happiness.
21 Grams (2003):
I'm sick of talking about this unnuanced sobfest.
Here's the info page.
People hyped this as an important movie, but the DVD was released
with no features at all, although it does contain a satisfactory
anamorphic widescreen version of the film
Posthumous star on Hollywood Walk of Fame honors 'Cat in the Hat'
author Dr. Seuss The Doc's wife delivered the Quote of the
Day, ""I think if Ted could see this he would say, 'Thank God I am
- He might have gone one to say, "I died without noggles and
brizzles and scent. I died without buskets and nary a tent. I
asked for no star when I came or I went. But I'm deader than
Franco, 100 percent"
The Best Live Bloopers from the BBC.
- In honor of the crazy Wal-Mart
lady and her million dollar bill,
Freaking News has a contest to "Design new US bank notes or
- Here's the trailer for
New York Minute , which is said to be an action comedy in the
tradition of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Stars Eugene Levy and the
dreaded Olsen twins.
- GALLUP Report:
Passion viewers passionate about the movie. 11%
of all Americans have already seen it (that does reconcile quite
accurately with the box office take), and 34% more say they will
see it at the theaters. If that pans out, the film may pass
Titanic as the all-time domestic box office champ. Another 31% say
they plan to see it on home video. Those who have seen it are
generally quite pleased with it.
George Soros - Is the billionaire speculator the Democrats' most
Warner to remake the Vincent Price campfest, The House of Wax,
featuring ... Paris Hilton.
Al Qaeda Claims Credit for Madrid Blasts. Well, there it is.
If they say it, you know it must be true.
The Daily Show reports on decency in entertainment.
Jon Stewart weighs in on The Passion of the Christ.
- Five new clips from the new
Angelina Jolie crime thriller,
- Here's the trailer for
White Chicks , the new comedy from The Wayans
- Here's the new super hi-res
TRUMP FIRES BIN LADEN. War on Terror Over
St Joe's ludicrous #1 rating exposed as a sham when mediocre
Xavier blows them out in the first half, takes a 74-37 lead,
then coasts with some fans and cheerleaders and goats in the
line-up. In other news, my Division 1 ranking just went to #1
after I stayed undefeated by beating my son in h-o-r-s-e. Bring on
California Supreme Court blocks San Francisco gay marriages:
"The California Supreme Court ordered an immediate halt to
same-sex weddings in San Francisco on Thursday and said it would
hear arguments in May or June on whether Mayor Gavin Newsom had
the authority to allow such marriages."
ApeChild Lore - A Practical Examination of Maria Menounos' Breasts
I love Oscar (2004)
Rachel Hunter to be found naked in the new
Playboy, now on sale
Practicing for the big match against the Prez, Kerry throws a
losing "rock" against Howard Dean's crafty "paper". Dean,
familiar with Kerry's shifty "other hand" strategy, was also smart
enough to pin Kerry's other hand.
"About 8 per cent of rams display preferences for males as sexual
partners" Yeah, I noticed this when I went to Fordham.
US communications giant Global Crossing has posted a whopping
US$25 billion quarterly profit - the largest in corporate
history and bigger than the combined GDPs of Iceland, Jamaica and
Mongolia. But its stock plunged 38 per cent on Nasdaq on Wednesday
night on the news."
Did you ever think the day would come when somebody would steal
- Here are four free short videos
Playboy's Twins & Sisters!
- Heather Carolin was the Playmate
of the month in April of 2002. Here is her
Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
Jayson Blair: The Art of the Self-Review
Osama Bin Laden to Endorse George W. Bush in 2004 Election!
(From The Spoof, accompanied by very naughty picture.)
Screamin' Dean backs Kerry. Whoa! There's a surprise. I really
thought he'd go for The Bushman.
Check out the (obviously bogus) results of this online poll at a
pro-life site. 90% choose Kerry for President; the rest prefer
Nader over Bush almost 2-to-1.
- The original
Donkey Kong online. (Early arcade game - first appearance of
- Coming Soon has a new TV spot
l security threatened by gossip".
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Kristin Minter in Flashfire (.avi version, .wmv version
3) ). I've never seen this movie, but it seems to violate the
first principle of modern cinema - it has Billy Zane and a scene on
a boat (clip 3), but the boat does not sink.
Kristin Proctor in Hard Cases. Terrible scene, but
she has some nice gazongas (.avi version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
The Ghost takes a look at the 1982 B-movie "Beach Girls". Not one of the bigger movies of the early 80's, but it definitely has all of the classic elemets of the 80's gratuitous nudity beach genre.
- Corinne Bohrer in a bikini.
- Corinne Bohrer, a .wmv of the same scene.
- Debra Blee a busty B-babe who also co-starred in the 80's classics "Malibu Bikini Shop" and "Hamburger... The Motion Picture". Here she is topless.
- Debra Blee a .wmv of this scene.
- Jeana Tomasina, the former Heffer (November '80) and one of the regular girls featured in the ZZ Top videos "Sharp Dressed Man", "Legs" and "Give Me all Your Lovin". Here she is topless.
- Jeana Tomasina, a .wmv of this scene.
- Val Kline topless in her one and only movie role.
- Val Kline, a .wmv of this scene.
- Jeana Tomasina and Val Kline doing some topless sunbathing.
- Jeana Tomasina and Val Kline sunbathing .wmvs
- Jeanette Linne, nice natural toplessness. Her only other IMDb credit is for a small role in "Scarface".
- Jeanette Linne, toples .wmvs
- Topless unknown
- .wms of some assorted topless unknown babes.
Next up...a few more .wmvs.
- Andrea Thompson the actress and former CNN anchor bares breasts and brief glimpses at the other two B's in scenes from an episode of the made for HBO series, "Arli$$". The major downside to this clip...Robert Wuhl in tightie whities.
- Cindy Morgan, the co-star of the 1982 sci-fi flick "Tron". Oh yeah, she also did a topless scene in a little movie called "Caddyshack".
- The ultra cute Corinne Bohrer shows all 3 B's in scenes from another golf movie, "Dead Solid Perfect" (1988).
- Katherine Heigl showing all kinds of cleavage as we watch her big'uns bounce in scenes from "100 Girls".
||A very sexy production still of the Oscar winning actress in her "Catwoman" outfit.
|Señor Skin 'caps of Rome showing all 3 B's in scenes from the 1972 Roman Polanski movie "What?".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
HOUSE PASSES "CHEESEBURGER BILL"
Bite Me, Fat People! - Wednesday, the U.S. House voted 236-139 to pass the
"Cheeseburger Bill," which would bar people from suing restaurants and food
producers for making them fat. The author, Florida Rep. Ric Keller, said it's
"insane and crazy" to sue a restaurant because you ordered a big meal. He also
said the suits threaten America's largest single private sector employer.
...Of illegal aliens.
The liposuction industry?
Some Democrats voted for the "Cheeseburger Bill" because they thought it
was to honor Bill Clinton.
The Congressmen agreed that you can't blame other people for your own
irresponsible bloat...They then went back to blaming Bush for the deficit.
SUB DISASTER CAUSED BY RAGING INCOMPETENCE
I Blame All The Dim Bulbs - When the British nuclear submarine HMS Trafalgar
plowed into a rock during a 2002 training exercise, causing $9 million (US)
damage, experts wondered how its state-of-the-art navigational tools could have
failed. This week, the answer was revealed at the officers' court martial.
Turns out trainees were piloting the sub, the control panel was covered with
yellow Post-It Notes and nobody could see it, the light was so dim nobody could
read the charts, and the commander and the other officers were busy elsewhere,
concocting simulated hazards for the crew to deal with.
The crew couldn't even deal with the real hazard of Post-It Notes.
Also, someone spilled a Pepsi on the console.
And the crew was using the periscope to peep through the window of a
The officers' legal team blamed the rock.
P.DIDDY AND GEORGE MICHAEL RETIRING
Retiring To Teach Math? - P. Diddy announced that after the release of his
upcoming fourth studio album, "PD5," he may retire as a solo artist.
Boy, that album must SUCK!
In the music business, you have to retire really, really early to have any
hopes of a comeback.
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - George Michael also announced that he's
retiring from the music business to become an Internet-only artist. He says he has
enough money and is sick of being famous and that the pressure of having to put
out a new collection of songs every few years "nearly killed me." So in the
future, when he creates a song, he'll let fans download it free and ask for a
voluntary donation to charity.
The George Michael Retirement Fund.
The charity: Andrew Ridgely.
You'll never hear about him again, except when you're downloading his
songs free from the Internet...How is this different from his current career?
Why doesn't he just perform them live in public toilets? The acoustics
are great, and he's going to be there anyway.