Candyman (1992) is an adaptation of a Clive Barker story that mixes scholarly study of urban legends with horror, murder, the supernatural, and insanity. Helen (Virginia Madsen) is a professor's wife working on her doctoral thesis on urban legends with AnneMarie (Vanessa Williams) when they become interested in the tale of Candyman, who has a hook for a hand and is rumored to be responsible for all the evil in the Chicago projects. All you have to do is say his name five times into a mirror, and he will show up and murder you. The obvious answer? Don't say Candyman five times into a mirror. Unfortunately, Helen can't see the obvious, and Candyman starts killing her friends and leaving her to take the blame, or maybe she is insane, and is doing the murders, or maybe Candyman is controlling her and forcing her to murder. ONe fo the strengths of this film is that it lets you form your opinion about what is going on, and what is imagined.

The film manages both startle and suspense freight, and is brilliantly filmed with a great cast. Virginia Madsen shows breasts in two scenes, and Carolyn Lowery, as a coed who is sleeping with Madsen's hubby, has a lengthy scene with great pokies. IMDB readers have this at 6.2 of 10. Ebert awarded three stars. This is not my genre, and I found myself drawn in. Many of the plot elements are simply not logical when scrutinized, but the film never really tells you what was real and what was imagined. I will give this a B-, as a film that will please many who usually don't enjoy the genre, and most genre fans as well.

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  • Carolyn Lowery (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Virginia Madsen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    "Pleasure Party"

    Pleasure Party (1975), AKA Une partie de plaisir, is a relentless film about the ultimate male chauvinist. Compared to him, Jack Nicholson in Carnal Knowledge seems like Ward Cleaver. Paul Gégauff, who wrote the autobiographical story, plays the lead. They had planned on casting a prominent actor in the role, but nobody wanted to play a character that evil. The part of his wife was played by his real wife, Danièle Gegauff, and their daughter played their daughter. The three live in the country outside Paris on an orchard. He is mentally and physically abusive, much older, and feels that he married below his station, and is trying to educate her.

    One night, he brings up the fact that he has had several meaningless affairs with other women, and convinces her she should sleep with other men for her education. It doesn't take her long to literally get into the swing of things, and she makes some interesting discoveries. Most other men are better lovers than her husband, she likes herself better around other men. Others are not abusive, and the ones she likes the most, her husband is the most jealous of. They eventually separate, and the husband marries Paula Moore, but is not happy with her, as she is a strong, financially independent woman, and he can't dominate her and feel superior.

    Spoiler Warning

    So what does he do? When he travels with his ex to visit the grave of a relative, he demands that she get back together with him. When she refuses, he kicks her to death on the tomb. In the final scene, his daughter is visiting him in prison, and he acts like the loving caring father.

    End spoiler.

    There is not a pleasant moment in the entire film. Danièle Gegauff does a full frontal and rear nude scene getting out of her lover's bed when hubby knocks down the door, and Paula Moore briefly shows breasts. IMDb readers have this at 7.2 based on 24 votes. I can't conceive why anyone would find merit in this film. If the point is that men are dogs, all women already know that, and no man believes it. The film quality is not at all good, and it is very talky, mostly with Paul Gégauff ranting. Despite the IMDb voters, I give this a D-, and advise that you steer clear.

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  • Daniele Gegauff (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Paula Moore (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • Updated encyclopedia volumes: Diane Lane, Jessica Lange, Karina Lombard, Debra Lamb, Ruby Larocca, Jennifer Jason Leigh,


    Uncovered (1994):

    A professional restorer comes upon a mystery when she's working on an old Flemish painting. She uncovers a hidden inscription which eventually leads her to some mysteries hidden in the painting, long-forgotten messages involving a murder represented allegorically by a chess game being played by the characters in the painting. Meanwhile, events in the restorers own life start to parallel the progress of that very same chess game. Some of her friends and family are murdered, and she is sent a chess piece for each victim, so she enlists a chess expert to help her predict the killer's next move.

    There is nothing especially engaging about either the historical mystery or the parallel contemporary murder mystery, but the movie isn't bad if you like that sort of thing. I didn't find any reason to fumble for the fast forward button, although the acting is hammy and sometimes amateurish. Heaven only knows how Kate Beckinsale ever made a career as an actress after this effort. If you're a fan, you may want to avoid this flick, in which her acting is about at the level of a primary school Christmas show.

    The film does have two very big positives:

    1. Extensive nudity from Kate Beckinsale, who hasn't gotten naked on camera before or since, and is now a major star.

    2. Lovely visuals of Barcelona, which is one of the most photogenic cities in the world. In fact, the director was completely smitten by the city and was leaving his camera on interesting sights even when it was slowing down the movie.

    • Beckinsale (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8). You will note that the first two collages show a camera angle right up her spread legs. Is that her coochie, or was she wearing a modesty patch? I don't know. It's just pure blackness, and there is no definition of any kind to be seen up there in the Inn of the Seventh Happiness.


    21 Grams (2003):

    I'm sick of talking about this unnuanced sobfest. Here's the info page. People hyped this as an important movie, but the DVD was released with no features at all, although it does contain a satisfactory anamorphic widescreen version of the film

    • Naomi Watts (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Various Kristins:

    • Kristin Minter in Flashfire (.avi version, .wmv version (1, 2, 3) ). I've never seen this movie, but it seems to violate the first principle of modern cinema - it has Billy Zane and a scene on a boat (clip 3), but the boat does not sink.

    • Kristin Proctor in Hard Cases. Terrible scene, but she has some nice gazongas  (.avi version, .wmv version)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    The Ghost takes a look at the 1982 B-movie "Beach Girls". Not one of the bigger movies of the early 80's, but it definitely has all of the classic elemets of the 80's gratuitous nudity beach genre.
    • Corinne Bohrer in a bikini.
    • Corinne Bohrer, a .wmv of the same scene.

    • Debra Blee a busty B-babe who also co-starred in the 80's classics "Malibu Bikini Shop" and "Hamburger... The Motion Picture". Here she is topless. (1, 2, 3)
    • Debra Blee a .wmv of this scene.

    • Jeana Tomasina, the former Heffer (November '80) and one of the regular girls featured in the ZZ Top videos "Sharp Dressed Man", "Legs" and "Give Me all Your Lovin". Here she is topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Jeana Tomasina, a .wmv of this scene.

    • Val Kline topless in her one and only movie role. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Val Kline, a .wmv of this scene.

    • Jeana Tomasina and Val Kline doing some topless sunbathing. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Jeana Tomasina and Val Kline sunbathing .wmvs (1, 2)

    • Jeanette Linne, nice natural toplessness. Her only other IMDb credit is for a small role in "Scarface". (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Jeanette Linne, toples .wmvs (1, 2)

    • Topless unknown
    • .wms of some assorted topless unknown babes. (1, 2, 3)

    Next up...a few more .wmvs.

    • Andrea Thompson the actress and former CNN anchor bares breasts and brief glimpses at the other two B's in scenes from an episode of the made for HBO series, "Arli$$". The major downside to this clip...Robert Wuhl in tightie whities.

    • Cindy Morgan, the co-star of the 1982 sci-fi flick "Tron". Oh yeah, she also did a topless scene in a little movie called "Caddyshack".

    • The ultra cute Corinne Bohrer shows all 3 B's in scenes from another golf movie, "Dead Solid Perfect" (1988).

    • Katherine Heigl showing all kinds of cleavage as we watch her big'uns bounce in scenes from "100 Girls".

    Halle Berry A very sexy production still of the Oscar winning actress in her "Catwoman" outfit.

    Sydne Rome
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Rome showing all 3 B's in scenes from the 1972 Roman Polanski movie "What?".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Bite Me, Fat People! - Wednesday, the U.S. House voted 236-139 to pass the "Cheeseburger Bill," which would bar people from suing restaurants and food producers for making them fat. The author, Florida Rep. Ric Keller, said it's "insane and crazy" to sue a restaurant because you ordered a big meal. He also said the suits threaten America's largest single private sector employer.

  • ...Of illegal aliens.
  • The liposuction industry?
  • Some Democrats voted for the "Cheeseburger Bill" because they thought it was to honor Bill Clinton.
  • The Congressmen agreed that you can't blame other people for your own irresponsible bloat...They then went back to blaming Bush for the deficit.

    I Blame All The Dim Bulbs - When the British nuclear submarine HMS Trafalgar plowed into a rock during a 2002 training exercise, causing $9 million (US) damage, experts wondered how its state-of-the-art navigational tools could have failed. This week, the answer was revealed at the officers' court martial. Turns out trainees were piloting the sub, the control panel was covered with yellow Post-It Notes and nobody could see it, the light was so dim nobody could read the charts, and the commander and the other officers were busy elsewhere, concocting simulated hazards for the crew to deal with.

  • The crew couldn't even deal with the real hazard of Post-It Notes.
  • Also, someone spilled a Pepsi on the console.
  • And the crew was using the periscope to peep through the window of a sorority house.
  • The officers' legal team blamed the rock.

    Retiring To Teach Math? - P. Diddy announced that after the release of his upcoming fourth studio album, "PD5," he may retire as a solo artist.

  • Boy, that album must SUCK!
  • In the music business, you have to retire really, really early to have any hopes of a comeback.

    Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - George Michael also announced that he's retiring from the music business to become an Internet-only artist. He says he has enough money and is sick of being famous and that the pressure of having to put out a new collection of songs every few years "nearly killed me." So in the future, when he creates a song, he'll let fans download it free and ask for a voluntary donation to charity.

  • The George Michael Retirement Fund.
  • The charity: Andrew Ridgely.
  • You'll never hear about him again, except when you're downloading his songs free from the Internet...How is this different from his current career?
  • Why doesn't he just perform them live in public toilets? The acoustics are great, and he's going to be there anyway.