Boat Trip (2002) was trashed so thoroughly by Scoopy when it was released that I passed on it. Still, the DVD has a large nipple count, and see-through action from the likes of Viveca A Fox, Victoria Silvstedt and Roselyn Sanchez. As long-time readers know, Scoopy and I very often agree completely about a film, but once in a great while, we disagree strongly. This is not one of those times. If anything, I hated it more than he did. One short, fat, supposedly fun guy takes his slick but recently dumped buddy on a cruise. When they piss off the travel agent, they find themselves on a ship completely full of gay stereotypes. Cuba Gooding Jr. meets Sanchez, and Horation Sanz meets the Swedish tanning team, and both feel it would be to their benefit to be thought of as gay.
In what was almost a brilliant move, they got five Heffers, three of them topless, and used them behind menus, and even had a tanning lesson. "Moisturize and depilliate first, then apply high SPF sunscreen 30 minutes before exposure to nasty UV rays, who especially like attacking hot blondes." The eye candy was wonderful, but they had these women chatting and giggling. What were they thinking? Everyone knows centerfolds should be obscene and not heard.
Breasts from Deanna Brooks, Natalia Sokolova, Jami Farrell and 4 members of the Swedish tanning team, see through from Roselyn Sanchez, Cleavage from Viveca A Fox, and Victoria Silvstedt in first a bikini then palter, a bra and panties. The cast included folks who have been known to act, thus blaim can only be assigned to the writers and director. It received Razzie nominations for worst actor and worst director. This is a D, a colossal waste of a $20M budget, and my time.
Vivica A Fox
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Joyeuses Pâques (1984):
Joyeuses Pâques is an old-fashioned sex comedy in the Western
European style, which means naughtier than a Doris Day and Rock
Hudson film, but with a similar tone. If you watched it with the
"mute" button on, you might easily mistake it for an Italian movie
from the late 60s, although it is actually a French movie from 15
Belmondo plays a
playboy industrialist with a real eye for fast cars, fast boats and
fast women. He is also married, but he always manages to get home in
time to keep his wife from getting suspicious about his activities.
One day he sends his wife off for a long trip, thus anticipating a
non-stop orgy of beautiful babes to share his bed, starting with the
gorgeous young one (Sophie Marceau) he picks up at the airport.
Well, things go
wrong. Isn't that the whole point of these films?
Belmondo's trip is cancelled. She pulls up into their driveway that
same night, just as Sophie is about to remove her blouse. Belmondo
panics, struggles for a credible explanation for Sophie's presence,
and finally has to admit to his wife that he is caught, and that he
mist confess a secret he's been keeping for a long time - Sophie is
bullshit story actually works out very well for a while. Mrs
Belmondo even invites her newly discovered stepdaughter to stay with
them, and Belmondo is purring like a cat in a henhouse until
Sophie's mom shows up at a dinner party. Belmondo manages to weasel
around the fact that he doesn't seem to know the woman, nor she him,
despite the fact that they were supposed to have a daughter
together. Belmondo really gets his comeuppance, however, when the
old sot starts to tell the dinner guests about the monstrous
creature that is Sophie's father, whom they all believe to be
so forth. You get the idea ...
your basic Marcello Mastroianni movie, except with Belmondo instead
Belmondo is one of the greatest stars in the history of film, with a
list of credits as long as your arm. In the late 50s and early 60s,
he may have been the biggest star in Europe. He was also one of the
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de souffle (1960)
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femme est une femme (1961)
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Professionnel, Le (1981)
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le fou (1965)
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Misérables, Les (1995)
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Morin, prêtre (1961)
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en hiver (1962)
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mille dollars au soleil (1964)
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Magnifique, Le (1973)
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du Mississipi, La (1969)
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Rio, L' (1964)
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tous risques (1960)
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Itinéraire d'un enfant gâté (1988)
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Scoumoune, La (1972)
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la ville (1975)
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Charlotte et son Jules (1960)
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Tricheurs, Les (1958)
- (6.40) -
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as, L' (1982)
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à Zuydcoote (1964)
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dans la maison, L' (1992)
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de l'an II, Les (1971)
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mon ennemi, Le (1976)
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Tribulations d'un chinois en Chine, Les (1965)
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Alpagueur, L' (1976)
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Ferchaux, L' (2001) (TV)
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Solitaire, Le (1987)
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une nuits de Simon Cinéma, Les (1995)
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Marginal, Le (1983)
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belle et tais-toi (1958)
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Incorrigible, L' (1975)
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Morfalous, Les (1984)
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chance sur deux (1998)
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you can see from the highlighted cell on the list above, this is one
of the least respected films in Belmondo's career. I suppose that is
true for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it's a
goofy lightweight comedy in which Belmondo plays pretty much of a
feckless douchebag, nothing like the cool guys he once played for
Godard and Truffaut. You might compare this phase of his career to
the phase Robert DeNiro is going through now. Belmondo was 50 then,
and was trying to find the right niche for his middle-aged self.
Having said that this is not a film of substance, I should hasten to
add that I found it pretty damned charming. Hell, even grade-B
Belmondo is pretty good stuff. The photography and stunts are
excellent, reminiscent of a James Bond film. Sophie Marceau was a
cute little tootsie then; Belmondo was fine as the fox who is less
foxy than he imagines; Marie Laforet was amusing as the wife who
obviously knows a lot more than she lets on; and the ending is
completely appropriate and clever. I found it a pleasant
Sophie Marceau (1,
6). This was La
Marceau's first real screen nudity.
other French babes (1,
DVD INFO: This
film is not available on a Region 1 DVD.
There is a Region-free DVD available in Germany in PAL format, however.
If you are in the States, you will be able to play it on any
computer with a DVD drive, but will not be able to play it on a
stand-alone player unless your TV knows what to do with PAL or
your player knows how to convert it to NTSC.
WARNING: although it has an
excellent anamorphic widescreen transfer of the film with some extra features,
there is NO
You can choose from French or German.
The German DVD info can be found
here. The U.S. distributor's home page can be found
here. If you are thinking of buying DVDs from outside your
The Jacket (2005):
OK, let's be honest.
There isn't much nudity here, and what little there is sucks in
Now that we're gotten that out of
the way, we can enjoy Keira Knightley's tiny little hooters:
Comparison of Unwanted Software Installed by P2P
- For the capital letter lover in you:
CAMERON Diaz was rushed to hospital after falling
from a CHEST OF DRAWERS.
The average child received $1.78 per tooth from the
Tooth Fairy in 2004. That's a 12.5 percent increase from the 2003
average of $1.58. I know he founded the business
but, dammit, Mr. Fairy is really going to have to start
controlling expenses better, or the board of Fairy Enterprises
will be forced to remove him as CDO.
NETWORKS REFUSE TO AIR BIN LADEN TAPE AFTER FINDING
NO NEW INFORMATION IN IT ABOUT JACKSON CASE.
Madman Frustrated By Lack of Airtime, Sources Say
Who better to summarize the Jackson trial than that
calm, staid bastion of responsible journalism, The Sun.
Tara Reid sues Vegas condos over 'Let It Hang Out'
- Yeah, there's an example of why her career is soaring. Step
1: She's tanking into oblivion. Step 2: These guys keep her name
on people's lips. Step 3: She doesn't thank them - she sues
- Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's a slick move because Step 4 is
that the lawsuit prolongs her 15 minutes another ten to twelve
Freespending king of Swaziland to hold extravagant
birthday bash, filled with rich chocolates, and
expensive watches, and cuckoo clocks, and secret bank accounts ...
- This site claims that these are
Former WWE Diva Gail Kim topless pics.
They say, "These pictures were taken AFTER Gail Kim was released
from the WWE late last year. They were taken for a cell phone
company in Japan or some such shit and the pictures were
originally pixellated so you couldn't see her nipples. These are
the uncensored pics for all to enjoy. Thank us later."
Muslim clerics in Spain issued a fatwa - against
Osama bin Laden
Paris Hilton Fans Strike Back:
"The fan consortium also formally nominated Paris for the Nobel
Gotham Comes of Age: New York through the Lens of
the Byron Company, 1892 - 1942. Tremendous
collection of photos. Click on "The Physical City" for an
Ten clips from the Asian murder mystery, Oldboy
- "A man is inexplicably kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years
and his wife is brutally murdered. On his release, he is given a
wallet full of money and a mobile phone. A stranger calls and
asks him to try and figure out why he was imprisoned. A girl
appears and promises to help him solve the enigma and seek
vengeance for his cruel fate. As the search progresses, the man
finally comes face to face with his kidnapper, who proposes a
game: if the man discovers the reason for his imprisonment, his
kidnapper will kill himself. If not, then the girl will be
killed. He has only five days to unravel the mystery."
Here's the trailer for Madagascar
- "Ben Stiller ('Meet the Parents'), Chris Rock ('Chris Rock
Never Scared'), David Schwimmer (TV's 'Friends') and Jada
Pinkett Smith ('Collateral') star as the voices of four zoo
animals who hang up when they hear the call of the wild."
Weekly World News: "NEW VACCINE PREVENTS CATTLE
FARTS FROM CAUSING CLIMATE CATASTROPHE!"
Dan Rather Retires: White House Sends Warm
Here's the trailer for Linklater's A Scanner Darkly
Here's the full trailer for The Bad News Bears
The Daily Show's This Week in God
Daily Show: "President Bush has a message for the
people of Lebalon: You've been mispronouncing your name."
Jon Stewart helps Brian Williams tell the
difference between the Daily Show (fake) and his news (real).
Jon Stewart interviews the ubiquitous Bruce Willis.
Oh, no, Mr Sluggo. It appears that Carla Gugino's
nudity has been removed from Sin City.
This is National Procrastination Week, so you might
think about how to put off celebrating it. I
know the week is almost over. I would have posted this last week,
but - well, you know how that goes.
The trailer for Lipstick & Dynamite: The First
Ladies of Wrestling
- 'Lipstick & Dynamite' shines a spotlight on the forgotten
first ladies of the ring. Gladys 'Killem' Gillem wrestled women,
men, alligators, and bears. At 18, Ida May Martinez took to the
road to flash the only thing she knew - how to kick, punch, and
defend herself. Narrowly escaping a date rape at 16, Penny
Banner trained for survival. Still kicking butt at 80, The
Fabulous Moolah and Johnnie Mae Young live together with midget
wrestler sidekick Diamond 'Lil, and continue to take bumps with
World Wrestling Entertainment.
Each woman reflects on her own remarkable life with fond and
bitter memories, reconciling a wild, flamboyant youth with the
reality of getting older and fading away. 'Lipstick & Dynamite'
follows Moolah, Jonnie Mae and the girls 60 years, many bumps
and falls later as they discuss the money, the old days and what
it's like to be a 'lady' in today's favorite guilty pleasure:
spectator sport. The girls are taking all comers. Are you
The trailer for Hooligans with Elijah Wood and
- "Matt Buckner is unfairly expelled from Harvard and moves to
England to stay with his married sister. Buckner soon discovers
the joys of football and becomes obsessed with the West Ham
United club, thanks to the passion for the game of his
Sandra Bullock has revealed she uses hemorrhoid
cream on her face. If that shit is so good for
the prune face, then why are assholes so wrinkly?
Griffey to make spring debut Thursday, hopes to be
out for season by Sunday.
- I did not make this up.The
Irish Dirty Sanchez festival has been "cancelled due to injury".
The future will not be that different from the present. Today your
dad can't play golf because of his old football injury. When you
are his age, you'll have to beg off because of your old Dirty
- There is hope for old geezers to get hot sex - and not just in
Kevin Coster movies!
Bruce Willis, who turns 85 this month, and teen
queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, recently enjoyed a mutual gropefest.
(Note: Willis claims that he's only turning 50 this month. Yeah.
I'm 56 and I still have my Bruce Willis lunch pail from
Marcia Cross has been inundated with offers from
straight men who want to convert her in the wake of false reports
that she's gay.
- The 43-year-old single actress, who plays Bree Van De Kamp
on Desperate Housewives, told the New York Post that at a
Hollywood party recently she was approached by one man who
whispered, "I heard you were gay. Let's get a room and prove
- Her response? "No thank you, President Clinton."
- Props to Pat Reeder of
The Comedy Wire for that gag!
- Sharon Waxman's "Rebels on the Backlot" is to 90s filmmaking
what Peter Biskind's legendary "Easy Riders, Raging Bulls" was to
the 70s: gossipy, gonzo insider journalism. She bases her work on
six of the hottest hot-shots of the 90s.
- Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
- Steven Soderbergh, Traffic
- David Fincher, Fight Club
- Paul Thomas Anderson, Boogie Nights and Magnolia
- David 0. Russell, Three Kings
- Spike Jonze, Being John Malkovich
The links below lead to purchase info on Waxman's book as well as
Biskind's 70s classic. (Dude, if you haven't read Biskind's book,
you aren't even vaguely interested in the cinema revolution of the
70s. It is a must read not just for its revelations, but mostly
for its pure entertainment value.)
- Headline of the day:
"Dwarfs Can’t Afford To Miss Boat Again".
If they would just get the fokkin' boat closer to the dock, I
think the little fellas would have a better chance.
- Sports trivia fans:
"Mr Outside" is dead at 80.
Here is the mystery woman whose affair with the
married chief executive of Boeing led to his downfall
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
To help keep the Oscar talk going for just a few more days, here is this week's poll...
Best Oscar Winning Nude Performance
Of the Best Actress Winners who showed nudity in their award winning roles, who gave the best nude performance? I think I've included every actress to show Oscar some skin. If I missed anyone, let me know.
There are a couple on the list that push the definition of nudity, (Hunt's scenes were see-thru and partial, MacLaine's nudity was very brief, and Christie's was rear only) but it's my poll, so ppphhhtttt :-p
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...'Caps and clips of the long time B-movie and Skinemax babe gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of the late night cable series "Hotel Erotica". In the 'caps we mostly see toplessness, but the clips show some goodies south of the border.
- Monique Parent
- Monique Parent zipped .wmvs
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Heat and Sunlight"
Beautiful and well-done black & white photography doesn't quite save this draggy 1987 drama, but it certainly helps. Way too much philosophical droning for my taste, but the art house crowd probably loved it.
When a photojournalist returns from overseas after a tough assignment, his girlfriend doesn't meet him at the airport, nor return his calls. Deeply in love, he anguishes over her with close friends and anyone else who will listen. To call this a "talky" movie is an understatement.
What we wind up with is a minute examination of 16 hours of a man's life, in which he reflects over his last 20 years as a photographer. There's things to enjoy in this movie, but unfortunately, it was just too plodding to hold my interest. There was no script, per se. The scenes were improvised by the cast as they shot, which undoubtedly lent to the slowness. The photography, however, was great.
|Coming to DVD next week...here's a sneak preview of scenes from "Alfie" (2004). Miller is topless and showing off a thong view. Former "Ally McBeal" co-star Krakowski is showing her legs and popping out of her bra (looks like there is a rare nip here).
||Parker baring breasts and bum in scenes from the second season premiere of the made for HBO series "Deadwood".
||hehehe...someone found the "Friends" babe's prom pic!
|Very lovely full frontal nudity from the UK babe in scenes from "Young Adam" (2003). 'Caps by Finn.
|Garner showing just a little bit of cleavage in scenes from Wednesday night's episode of "Alias". So far I think this is the least amount of cleavage she's shown this season. In fact, previous cleavage amounts had me wondering if she had installed some new fun bags. Looks like the answer is no...it was just a wonderbra all along (which she wasn't wearing this time).
||Topless in a small role from the 1981 flick "Dead & Buried". Some folks may remember her from "An Officer and a Gentleman" (she won a "new star of the year" Golden Globe for "...Gentleman"). She's not a household name, but she's been acting ever since, and even won an Oscar for Best Short Film, Live Action in 2002 for "The Accountant". 'Caps by Kitt.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the "Nip/Tuck" star in a brief full frontal nude scene from the Nick Nolte movie "I'll Do Anything" (1994), written and directed by James L. Brooks.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
WILLIS THREATENS TO MURDER DAUGHTER'S DATES
Rumers Of War - Bruce Willis told "Good Morning America" that when boys
come to date his 16-year-old daughter Rumer, he interviews them until
they're shaking, then he jokingly tells them if his daughter is not
returned in the same condition she left the house in, they will be
murdered. He laughed, "You see their knees start knocking and they sweat."
They know if he could name his daughter "Rumer," he's crazy enough to do
See, there are worse celebrities your son could visit than Michael
Rumer has still not actually been on a date.
OZZY CONFESSES TO PLASTIC SURGERY
Crazy Vain - Ozzy Osbourne's face has been looking smoother in recent
months, but he claimed it was a result of giving up booze and drugs.
However, he has now confessed to Reveal magazine that he had a face lift
and nose job. His wife Sharon recently spent over $200,000 on everything
from a brow lift to liposuction, and Ozzy was so impressed with the
results, he decided to try it himself. He said, "It boosted my confidence
Now he doesn't HAVE to give up drugs and booze to look good!
He calls his plastic surgeon "The Wizard of Ozzy."
Back when he was snorting coke, the last thing he wanted was SMALLER