"Carnal Knowledge"

Carnal Knowledge (1971) is one of those highly acclaimed films that I could do entirely without. Jack Nicholson and Art Garfunkle are college roommates. Garfunkle starts dating a girl, and as soon as he tells Nicholson that he got a hand job from her, Nicholson asks her out, took her virginity, then tried to get her to dump Garfunkle, all behind his back. Garfunkle marries her, end of act one.

The rest of the film chronicles their trouble with women. Both become successful, Garfunkle a doctor, Nicholson an accountant. Garfunkle eventually leaves his wife, and finally finds happiness with a hippie chick. Nicholson is entirely too self centered to have a real relationship, and he almost destroys Ann-Margret, who make the mistake of loving him. To Nicholson, all women are ball busters.

Ann-Margret shows breasts and buns. IMDB readers have this at 6.8 of 10. Ann-Margret received a best supporting actress nomination. The few critics who have weighed in are 100% positive. For me, Nicholson's character was so dislikable that I could not enjoy the film. Nevertheless, it was a landmark film when it was released, and has a huge following, therefor C+.

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  • Ann-Margret (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

    "Blood and Sand"

    Blood and Sand (1989) is a Spanish by the numbers sports genre film, the genre being bull fighting. Kid wants to be a famous matador, gets break, reaches the top, marries the girl back home, and now has everything. Then, enter Sharon Stone, and he spends most of his time with her, when he is not drinking heavily and snorting coke. This sort of thing doesn't do his marriage or his bull fighting any good.

    Stone shows breasts in more than one scene. Although it was a Spanish production, it is mostly in English. The DVD is a weak 4/3 transfer. IMDB readers say 3.9 of 10. I found it a total chore. They could have, at the very least, taught me something about the sport of bull fighting. Instead, their main point seemed to be that screwing Sharon Stone is not healthy for matadors. D-.

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  • Sharon Stone (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993):

    • The only reason I mention this film is that we are following up on Lorraine Bracco nudity, Here is her bushy crotch shot from this movie, in .wmv format. The movie got a half star from Ebert, and another half from Berardinelli. They were generous. The film is incoherent, and the acting is at a level incomprehensible in a major film. It may be the worst movie ever made by a major director. (Amazingly, the film was directed by Gus Van Sant, who usually has a pretty good idea of what he's doing.)


    Calendar Girls (2003):

    This movie is:

    • A chick-flick (7.7 women, versus 6.6 men) of the granny variety (highest scores from people 45 or older)
    • The same-old same old Type B Brit-flick (Gentle, quirky comedies about eccentric small-town provincials who are doing something vaguely naughty or socially unorthodox, and end up showing us a positive side of life. (Growing marijuana in their greenhouse, getting naked in public, boys giving up football for ballet, girls giving up baking for the trumpet, etc)
    • A true story (well, more or less) about some old ladies in Yorkshire who posed nude for a charity calendar and ended up being international celebrities.

    Don't let that description put you off. It is a very good film, and came close to being a great one. For about 70 minutes it is a great one, both funny and touching, and slightly naughty, a smooth blend of entertainment and purpose. Then it went astray and got bogged down in unimportant matters. I wrote in my original review, "Calendar Girls is just about the best 90 minute movie I saw in 2003. Unfortunately, it is 108 minutes long."

    Setting aside aesthetic matters, Calendar Girls was a massive financial success. It grossed a very solid $30 million in the USA, and was a monster hit in the UK, grossing twenty million pounds (the population of the UK is about 1/5 that of the USA, and the pound averaged about $1.70 last October, so that's equivalent in popularity to a $170 million blockbuster in the USA ). The film was made for a modest $10 million, and distribution/marketing costs were an equally sane $7 million.

    These are made from the Region 2 DVD. The Region 1 disk is not yet available.





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.



    • This is a real hoot, and new to me! Here's Danielle Spencer and a very young, trim Russell Crowe, who was taking top billing for the first time ever, in 1990's The Crossing. Thirteen years later, the notoriously hard partying Mr. Crowe would abdicate his bad boy kingship to Colin Farrell in order to marry the very same Miss Spencer! (.avi version, .wmv version, .jpg collage)

    • Spinning off this whole Mel Gibson Jesus thing, here is Barbara Hershey in Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ. Special bonus - dubbed in German!  (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • And here's Hershey in her last screen nudity. She was 50+ (and lookin' great) when she did Drowning on Dry Land (.avi version, .wmv version)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Julia Roberts...a very quick glimpse of Julia's nipple in scenes from "Pretty Woman" (1990).

    • Ornella Muti, the Italian actress topless and showing a hint of pubes in scenes from "Tatiana, la muņeca rusa" aka "Compromesso d'amore" (1995).

    • "Sopranos" co-star Lorraine Bracco shows pubes in the Gus Van Sant movie "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" (1993).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Agostina Belli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Charlotte Rampling
    (1, 2)

    Both ladies are topless (Belli is also full frontal in link #4) in scenes from "Un taxi mauve" aka "The Purple Taxi" (1977).

    Claudia Cardinale
    (1, 2, 3)

    No nudity, but the star of Italian cinema (and best known to many from "Once Upon a Time in the West") looks great in scenes from the Italian movie "L'Udienza" (1971).

    Linn Stokke
    (1, 2)

    Topless and showing a brief rear view in scenes from "A Time to Die" (1982).

    Sue Petrie One more from the 70's with Petrie topless in scenes from "Vengeance Is Mine" (1974).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Instinct to Kill"
    A young woman whose mother was a victim of wife abuse is stalked from the age of 15 and finally married by a police detective who is himself a wife abuser. When she discovers he has murdered nine women, she solves her problem by sending him to jail, actually a prison for the criminally insane.

    A year later he escapes and she turns to a martial arts master to teach her self-protection, because she knows hubby will head for her.

    The predictable plot still isn't bad, and there's a lot to enjoy in this 2001 action/thriller, but the acting lacked spark and the movie fell short of what it could have been. Disappointing, but still worth watching.

    Peggy Markoff
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Another batch of Marvin 'caps featuring scenes from "Die Marquise von Sade" aka "Doriana Grey" (1976). Markoff shows all 3 B's, plus gyno-views in a lesbian scenes.

    Carla Gugino The "Spy Kids" mom bares breasts and a bit of bum in Kitt5000 'caps from "Jaded" (1996).

    Paloma Picasso
    and Pascale Christophe
    (1, 2)

    Both ladies go full frontal in scenes from the 1974 French movie "Contes immoraux" aka "Immortal Tales". For the pointless trivia fans...yep, Paloma Picasso is the daughter of painter Pablo Picasso.

    Connie Nielsen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Skiñor Skin 'caps of the "Gladiator" and "One Hour Photo" co-star topless and showing her bum in scenes from "Dark Summer" (1999).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    In Orange, Cantaloupe And Watermelon - Are you ready for gummy breasts? MSNBC reports that plastic surgeons say one of the most promising new replacements for silicone implants are leak-resistant cohesive silicone gel implants with the consistency of gummy bears. They also have a new type of shell coating less likely to cause scars and inflammation. One surgeon said we're getting closer to "the perfect implant" in terms of durability, biocompatibility and natural shape.

  • What could be more natural than to have two bags of gummy bears in your boobs?
  • Get gummy bear implants, and guys will want to chew on your breasts all day.
  • Men like the gummy bear implants, but women prefer the chocolate-filled.

    Why?! Why?! Why?! - The Indianapolis Ice of the Central Hockey League have signed Tonya Harding to play Friday against the Colorado Eagles. It's part of an event called "Are You Tough Enough?," where fans get a free ticket if a fight doesn't break out. They said Harding is an ideal celebrity guest hockey player because she combines the best of both worlds: she's a world class skater and a female professional boxer.

  • Not necessarily in that order.
  • And they KNOW for certain that she'll start a fight!
  • Nobody is more deadly with a stick in her hand.
  • She smokes, she drinks, and there's not a male hockey player in the league she can't beat up.

    Womb Raider - Angelina Jolie told the New York Post that she's found a cure for her two years of celibacy: she now goes to a hotel with a close male friend for a few hours, has sex, then goes home to tuck in her adopted son and doesn't see that man again for a few months. She said it's "about what I can handle now," it lets her feel like a woman and get close to a man, "but it's not a relationship that interferes with my family."

  • If she wants something permanent, she'll get a tattoo.
  • I have a question about this so-called "relationship!"...How do you get to be her close friend?

    Charlotte's Angels - A British adult TV channel has offered superstar soprano Charlotte Church, who just turned 18, $2 million to pose nude. A spokesman said they want to show that Church has both the voice and the body of an angel.

  • A Victoria's Secret Angel.
  • She's got the body of an angel, and they want her to spread her...wings.
  • This would be an unprecedented event: someone actually WANTING to see an opera singer naked.