Blinky's Runway Snaps
Grace Kelsey (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9) Scoop's recommendations: #5 and #9.
WhyScan's Page Three Report
Yesterday is two 21 year olds. Rebekah from Birmingham and Alex from Manchester. (both, both, rebecca, alex)

The Gold is Sue Simmonds, 22 January, 1986

Frodo's Page Three PLUS
Julie Tawney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Frodo's Comments: "I've never heard of fitness model Julie Tawney until now. Someone, not me, discovered that Julie starred in the epic "Dominatrix Julie Gets Screwed". I've also been told that she appeared in a Playboy BOL. If anyone knows which issue and under which name, please let me know through Scoop". (Scoop's note: #5 is the box cover from the video Frodo mentions)
Dame Elizabeth
Elizabeth Berkley first bootleg captures of the renowned Shakespearian diva in "Any Given Sunday". Not great images, but better than what we had yesterday. For what it's worth, I really liked this dumb sports movie. Oliver Stone is a master of technique, and he pulls out all the stops to make you feel like you are right in the middle of these football games. The camera cuts and the grunting actually had me turn my head away a couple times - I forgot I was only in the audience.
Kathleen Turner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) The remainder of RDO caps from "Crimes of Passion". The first eight appeared last week.
Valentina Vargas collage from "The Tigress"
Erika Anderson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) in "Zandalee"
Zoe Tamerlis in "Special Effects", from Don Juan
Zoe Tamerlis in "Special Effects", from Don Juan
Jennie Marie Muck nude in an episode of "Die Schule am Zee", from Rolandxox
Ellen Degeneres in "If these Walls ...."
Sharon Stone in "If these Walls ...."

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"The Postman", from Tuna

Many people pick this as the worst movie ever made, and it was a financial disaster. Domestic gross was aboiut eighteen million dollars, compared to an eighty million dollar budget.

I don't know why critics hated it so much and theatergoers stayed away in droves. I've busted Costner's hump as much as anyone, but to tell you the truth, I actually watched the entire 177 minutes without fast-forwarding or falling asleep, and there wasn't that much to capture. Now, I'm not going to tell you it is Raiders of The Lost Ark, and I'll be the first to admit it has about five scenes so artificial and corny as to provoke unintentional laughter. But it ain't that bad, and I will say that Costner isn't bad at all in this. If you don't know the plot, it's the post-catastrophic future, and Costner roams what was once the United States, eking out his subsistence by acting out vaguely-remembered and misremembered plays for people, wherever he can find an audience. The catch is that he's the world's worst actor, and that his whole acting schtick is basically a complete scam. Now how could Costner be bad in the role of the world's worst actor? He was born to play this part. His bad recitations of incorrect Shakespeare with a California surfer-jock accent are as bad as his Robin Hood, but this time he's in on the joke. It took some guts to make fun of himself like that. The whole point of the movie is that he's supposed to be an incompetent commonplace schlemiel who can rise to greatness with the proper motive and opportunity, and that inside of each of us lies the potential for greatness in some form .

This movie goes on too long, but if somebody like Spielberg got a hold of this 177 minute print and judiciously trimmed it to about two hours, getting rid of the schmaltz and the jingoism and the worst dialogue, I'll bet he could make it a good watch.

Tuna liked the movie a lot, and he is not alone, by any means. There are many, many positive comments in IMDb, including a very solid number of voters who gave it 10 out of 10. Here're Tuna's comments:

"I am becoming very angry at film critics. I just watched The Postman, after never hearing a thing about it, and I loved the film. It had a classic struggle between good and evil, and showed how important hope is to the human psyche. It also showed that people will excel given any chance at all. Despite being set in the future, there were no grand special effects, and the locations and photography were beautiful. In the tradition of the cowboy movie, the villain was simply evil with no other personality traits, but everyone else was complex with their own motivations.

The critics, I find out afterwards, hated this film. We should not give them this kind of power. What their reviews told me was that they have too short an attention span to sit through a 3 hour film, and are too lazy to think about a story and its themes. Give the critics 90 minutes (no more) of non-stop action and ear-shattering special effects, or you are doomed to a bad review and failure.

It is ironic that some of the few things that are uniquely American are not appreciated here. The cowboy movie, the banjo and Jazz are three examples. The Postman has much in common with the cowboy movie. The villains have a costume (like the black hat) and are totally evil. The hero wears a postal uniform (white hat) and is reluctantly drawn into the struggle. The common people eventually rally around the hero. The man in the white hat wins in the end, and rides off into the sunset. Along the way, we get some insights into human nature."

NEW FEATURE. If you love Tuna's work but are daunted by the quantity of his output, this might help. Click here for a thumbnail index of all of Tuna's pics from this film. Study the index first, the download the ones you want Olivia Williams (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16)

"An American Werewolf in Paris", from Tuna

What can you say? Gershwin's incomparable music, Gene Kelly dancing. Oh, wait a minute, this one has "werewolf" in the title. Well, it has Julie Delpy without her top, and Gershwin looked like shit without his top, anyway.

NEW FEATURE. If you love Tuna's work but are daunted by the quantity of his output, this might help. Click here for a thumbnail index of all of Tuna's pics from this film. Study the index first, the download the ones you want

Julie Delpy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

"The School of Flesh", from Johnny Web

Not my kind of movie. Unbearably talky 1998 French drama where nothing ever actually happens. The characters just meet in different places and in different combinations to talk about things that have occured off-camera. Although Isabelle Huppert and the supporting cast know what to do when the camera points at them, there's just no there there. Huppert has a strong presence, but she needs something more to do. She was nominated for a Cesar for her performance.

Isabelle Huppert plays a rich, successful, middle aged woman who decides to pick up the kickboxing bisexual bartender in a gay bar. She's going to play Henry Higgins, and mold him to her liking. She takes care of him, pays his debts, buys him clothes .... blah, blah, blah .. despite the fact that he never really seems that grateful or even really to care for her. They talk about it. She talks about it with her friends. He talks about it with his friends. Their friends talk about it behind their backs. They cheat on each other. They talk some more. It doesn't work out, largely because he's planning the same kind of future many young guys plan (like having kids, for example), and he can't do those things with a woman older than his mom. If it sounds like your kind of movie, the production values are fine, so go at it. The film was nominated for the Golden Palm at Cannes, but you know what that's worth. Also nominated that year were such compelling cinematic fare as "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas", and "Dogme 1- Festen", and about seven thousand other movies.

Huppert is still quite beautiful at 45, but she is 45, let's face it. Her jowls sag, her eyes have bags, and her body had to be shot in dark and/or fleeting shots. Even her face was mostly shot in filtered light. I was embarrassed to watch the scene where she sits on Martinez (number 1), because her butt was just so flabby. Anyway, her body looks good in the captures, even in number one, because I got to choose the two most flattering frames. It was harder to find face shots. I captured about 50 and only about three of the ones in natural light were usable (see collage #4), although the dark scenes lit in red tended to hide her age. To see what she looked like in her delectable youth, look downward to GR's collage from "Heaven's Gate"

(1, 2, 3, 4)

A couple from Graphic Response

Carla Gugino in "Jaded". Isabelle Huppert again, photographed about two decades years earlier than the ones I did, in "Heaven's Gate"

words and pictures from Stone Cold

When I was rounding up the magazines this month, I came to realize something new, and it scared me. I realized that heterosexuals are taking over the world. First I was havin a cupppa coffee waiting for the newsstand to open, and I heard James Taylor singing on the radio. And then the first part of the message came to me. Even though this mofo sang "Candy Man" ', "Up On the Roof", 'n "You got a Friend", he is one a them card carryin straight boys who sleeps with real women. Then I was haunted by a picture on the cover of a magazine in the newsstand - Ethan Hawke and Uma. No, god no, but it seems like even Ethan Hawke is a heterosexual. Then I thought of DiCaprio. And then I got the new issue of Celebrity Skin and I saw the pictures of Sadie Frost, and I realized the ultimate shock - even Jude Law is straight. Next thing you know, some mofo be tellin me that Liberace and Jacko and Rip Taylor are all real men, and Paul Lynde was the ultimate stud boy to a mofo'n harem full of women who couldn't get enough of him. Keep an eye on your back, li'a crackas, cuz ya never know when a heterosexual might be lurking there behind you, ready to take away yo woman..

Celeb Skin

Here's Sadie's cannons in Skin, offering a two gun salute to some paparazzi, and Mr Jude Law. I wonder how Sadie feels about hanging out with someone so much prettier than her ass.

Skin came up with three good pictures of Jade Jagger. I like this one, where she does a Sharon Stone from her chair. These other two are beach shots of her guns. (1,2)

Here's the best look at the Jennifer Lopez booty. I think the girl looks better when she covers that colossus. It plenty big, but not so tight. She also wearin some serious kinda ugly-ass Herman Munster shoes.

Here's a surprise, so you guys with pacemakers better sit down, cuz this news will blast you like a microwave workin overtime to do one a them jumbo-ass frozen sandwiches at 7-Eleven. Ready? Courtney Love showed some of her shit in a concert. Did you ever think this day would come. (1,2)

Skin also had three sets of film captures that I never saw before. I don't know if you got better ones already, but here they are Sarah Buxton, "The Climb" Robin Givens, "Boomerang" Rosie Perez, "The 24 Hour Woman"


I couldn't find the new Celebrity Sleuth or the new Vanity Fair. I had to look midtown for Vanity Fair, because the thirty dollar Juicy Fruit man don't carry no Vanity Fair, since not a lot of the bros ask for it, and I didn't have no reason to visit my dentist. While I was in Bretano's with no mofo'n new Vanity Fair, I picked up a copy of Interview, and it had some new topless pictures of Karen Elson impersonating somebody named Kiki, some sweet thing from 1920's Paris. Good pictures and good nudity, but they print this mofo on toilet paper, so the scans all look like they underwater and I had to get arty 'n shit and fuck around with the backgrounds. So they don't look too good, but Karen jes fine, and they new looks at her guns. (1, 2, 3, 4)

Femme Fatales

I don't know 'em. I just scan 'em. Not bad pictures, whoever they are. Yvonne Mecialis Yvonne Mecialis Laurie Wallace

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