"Rowing Through"

Rowing Through (1996) was covered by Scoopy the week it was released, and his review, as is often the case, is one I agree with. The crime in this film was that the DVD transfer wasn't better, as it was beautifully photographed. Most genres have formulas, for instance, we have the boy meets girl, boy looses girl, boy finds girl Hollywood love formula, the boy meets girl, boy loses girl, such is life French love story, the athlete shows promise, athlete suffers possibly career ending injury, athlete becomes superstar formula, and the athlete becomes successful, athlete turns into an asshole, athlete becomes a human being again formula.

The strength of this Canadian release, to me, was that it did not follow the formula. Rather, it was a true story about real athletes, the amazing amount of dedication they have, and more agony of defeat than thrill of victory. Formula pictures exist because the general public understands them, and doesn't get lost. When you step outside the formula, you are running a risk. I admire the film makers for taking a story about athletes in a minor sport, and presenting their lives in a very realistic manner. The only question remaining is whether or not the characters are interesting enough to be entertaining, and for me, they were.

IMDB readershave this at 5.5 of 10. To recap the nudity, Helen Shaver shows breasts and partial bush, and Leslie Hope shows everything. The film will not appeal to action oriented viewers, and is properly rated a C, but I will personally order a remastered DVD if it is ever produced.

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  • Helen Shaver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Leslie Hope (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

    "China Moon"

    China Moon (1994) is a fairly slick thriller is the tradition of Body Heat, where a good guy is led astray by a woman to get rid of her husband. In this case, the guy is a homicide detective (Ed Harris), and the wayward wife is Madeleine Stowe. There is a nice extra twist or two at the end that I won't spoil for those who haven't seen it.

    It is a great film for nudity. Stowe does a full frontal in a rowboat at night, Patricia Healy shows breasts during the credits, and Theresa Bean shows full frontal as a corpse. IMDb readers have this at 6.0 of 10. It is rated slightly higher by women than men, and popularity his highest in the 45 + age group. Berardinelli awarded two stars, but admitted that the film picked up in the second half, and that Stowe and Harris gave reasonable performances. I will give this a low C, not perfect, but it should entertain genre fans.

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  • Madeleine Stowe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Patricia Healy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Theresa Bean (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Sopranos-related nudity:


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Jane Fonda, topless and showing rear nudity in scenes from 1978's "Coming Home".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Just some odd vidcaps I had lying around. They from DVDs that Tuna aptly named "strip and wiggle" disks. There are dozens of them and they have the same design-

    Three steps-
    1) Babe shows up
    2) Babe strips
    3) Babe wiggles

    Babes in this case include a few you know: Amy Lynn Baxter in the days before the robohooters, Lorissa McComas in the days after and Dita Von Teese.

    Two others do all three steps. They are Tyler Gates and Jamie Pope.

    Rae Dawn Chong
    Zehra Leverman
    (1, 2)

    Both ladies are topless in scenes from the Mario Van Peebles, straight-to-video flick, "Valentine's Day" (1998).

    Mimi Craven The ex-wife of horror film maker Wes we see her in red lingerie and topless in scenes from "Last Gasp" (1995).

    Lesley Ann Warren Showing a bunch of cleavage and wearing a semi-see-thru bra in "Baja Oklahoma" (1988).

    Jennifer Love Hewitt WOW! Outstanding cleavage from the actress and wannabe singer. Many thanks to Squiddy.

    Monica Swinn
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Marvin 'caps of the Belgian actress going full frontal in lesbian a scene in the Jesus Franco movie, "Die Marquise von Sade" aka "Doriana Grey" (1976).

    Natalia Verbeke
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Vejiita 'caps featuring brief breast exposure from the Argentinian actress in scenes from "Apasionados" (2002).

    Kathleen Kinmont
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the the busty, blonde, B-movie actress and former Mrs. Lorenzo Lamas. Here she is baring breasts and bum in scenes from "The Corporate Ladder" (1997).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    She Hasn't Been That Flat Since The Surgery - The Welsh company Reveal All Ltd. is selling an ironing board with a big picture of the silicone-enhanced, buxom British bikini model Jordan on it. When the material heats up from the iron, the bikini fades away, leaving her naked. Creator Jason Carr said he originally saw it as a novelty gift for young women, but it's mostly men and middle-aged women who are buying them. (here's a link to a news story featuring a picture)

  • Middle-aged women who've finally found a way to get their husbands to do the ironing.
  • The middle-aged women also requested a Rosie O'Donnell version.
  • Men just hang it on the wall, over a heating vent.
  • It makes a lousy ironing board: the picture is 3-D.

    Finally, A Language Hollywood Speaks - Hollywood pundits expected "The Passion of the Christ" to drop sharply over the weekend, but it remained at #1 and made another $51 million. It's made $214 million in 12 days in North America alone, and already entered the top 50 moneymakers of all time.

  • The "experts" thought it would be around for about three days, then disappear.
  • So it's official: Jesus is now bigger than Ben Affleck!
  • Hollywood is already working on a sequel: "Jesus 2: The Second Coming!"..."This time, it's Biblical!!"
  • ACTUAL HEADLINE! From "'Christ' Outguns 'Starsky & Hutch' In Box-Office Showdown"... Now, THAT'S a movie I wanna see!

    Now She's Flat Broke - Margaret Christie of Dundee, England, was upset that her wedding dress was "shapeless" and didn't make her look voluptuous enough. So she took the dressmaker to Sheriff's Court to demand her 250 pounds ($465 US) back. But the sheriff had her try it on and ruled the problem wasn't the dress, it was her. He said, "Unfortunately, she did not have the necessary basic ingredients for having voluptuousness." He suggested she try tape or a Wonderbra to enhance her flat chest. She complained that both suggestions were offensive and sexist, called his ruling disgusting and ridiculous, and vowed to appeal.

  • Good luck finding someone she can appeal to in that dress.
  • She doesn't know whether to appeal to "Judge Judy" or "Extreme Makeover." The appeals court ruled that she was trying to make mountains out of molehills.
  • The appeals court found that the dress also made her butt look big.
  • She could appeal to a Higher court and PRAY for bigger breasts.