"Night Call Nurses"

Night Call Nurses (1972) is the third of the Corman nurse films, and he has no figured out what the appeal really is. This time, while there are only three nurses, the nipple count is 16. Not only do we have three naked nurses, but two naked psychiatric patients, and three naked group therapy chicks. The nurses all work in the same hospital, in the psych ward, but, this time, are not roommates. Due to the amount of exposure, I am breaking this into two nights. Tonight, we have breasts from Lynne Guthrie, as a psych patient who strips then jumps off the roof before the opening credits. Second is Barbara Keene, as a psych patient who walks into the nurses lounge wearing only panties, and asking for a cup of coffee. Third is Dixie Lee Peabody, who strips during a group therapy session. Last is unknown, another therapy stripper, who shows breasts and buns. Tomorrow night, three nurses and another unknown.

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  • Barbara Keene (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Dixie Lee Peabody (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Lynne Guthrie (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Perfectly Legal (2002)

    It is the rare softcore directed by a woman, and it's an average one, which means it is OK if you are into the specific women in the cast, especially Lauren Hays. Lauren is not beautiful, but she has a great body and is a respectably good actress as well. None of the women are really knock-outs except that "Andrea Saint James" woman, whoever she really is. Speaking of names which are made up for the occasion, one of the actresses is named Kylie Wyote.  (Get it? It's a spoonerism for Wily Coyote)

    The film has a semblance of a mystery plot, but not enough to carry it without the sex. There are six naked women. It shows pubes and some masturbation and near-gyno. Lighting and photography are satisfactory, not great. It was shot on video, and has some motion blur. It's not a genre classic, but it meets all your basic needs.

    Monique Parent appears in this film uncredited, and keeps her clothes on. So they hired her to anchor the acting. That probably tells you all you need to know about crossover appeal.  It's a C by our standards.

    The DVD has a still gallery, a brief "behind the scenes" documentary, a mediocre 4:3 transfer of the film, and a few trailers for other softcores.


    Other crap:

    • The Russian Army Beauty Pageant contestants relax with their AK-47s
    • According to Page Six: (story may be gone when you get there, so here's the gist of it) THE bizarre life story of 1950s pinup princess Bettie Page could soon be shimmying into a movie theater near you. While both Charlize Theron and Hilary Swank wanted to play the whip-cracking, leather-loving countess of kink, Liv Tyler has been linked to the project since 1999. "Liv Tyler is still attached, and she's more enthusiastic than ever," said Mark Mori, who controls the life rights to Page's story for a documentary he's making. Mori approached Tyler about the role."When I first met her, Liv told me, 'I was born to play Bettie Page.' Right now, we're trying to develop a script. We may have a major announcement to make about a script very soon," Mori told PAGE SIX.  A few years back, Martin Scorsese was interested in directing the Page picture, but his intense schedule forced Mori to look elsewhere. "I don't suppose it's out of the realm of possibility that he could come back in, but at the time, he was focused on 'Gangs of New York' and other things," Mori said.
      • My take on that project: has the potential to be a masterpiece with Scorsese and the right script. Also has the potential to be utter shit without them.
    • Movie Juice was not impressed by Bringing Down the House
    • Raelians Disrobe to Protest Iraq War. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW
    • Cows get boob jobs, too? Dave Barry has the story.
    • undercover cop finds that dealing drugs is backbreaking work
    • all those pageant contestants want to work for world peace, but Miss Bulgaria is willing to do it naked
    • Anti-fur protesters draped in mink coats and whisked away
    • Retro Crush salutes the sexiest redheads ever
    • The Green Party doesn't get many votes, but they have some pretty cool signs
    • This story from a regular contributor: "CHICAGO star RENEE ZELLWEGER insists she hasn't had a boyfriend since dating JIM CARREY - even though they split three years ago.  The Texas native, who was recently romantically linked to Hollywood hunk GEORGE CLOONEY, says she's friends with a couple of celebrity men, but hasn't enjoyed a full relationship since she and the rubber-faced comic parted.  And Zellweger remains amused at reports that she and the ACE VENTURA star were engaged - because they had only just started dating when the speculation began.  She says, "I'd only been dating him for three months. As if I would consider marriage after only three months!"  But all same, Zellweger has been left with a huge problem in the romance department - she hardly ever gets asked out now that she's famous, because men find her intimidating."

    What're the odds?


    Best supporting actress - a three-way horse race, too close to call.

    75th Academy Awards: Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Closing Date: Mar 23, 2003 20:00

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Julianne Moore 2.25
    Catherine Zeta-Jones 2.3
    Meryl Streep 2.5
    Kathy Bates 11.0
    Queen Latifah 21.0


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Phoebe Cates showing breasts, bum and bush in scenes from "Paradise" (1982).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Taul Paul
    'Caps and comments by Taul Paul

    "The Pawnbroker" (1964) was a breakthrough film in more than one way. It was the first serious examination of the psychological effects of the Holocaust on its survivors. Rod Steiger as Sol, the pawnbroker, gave a performance for the ages (Lee Marvin won the Oscar that year for Cat Ballou, one of those occasional travesties that the Academy visits on us, but by way of apology the Academy awarded Steiger two years later for In the Heat of the Night). Viewed today, the film and Steiger's performance both still pack enormous power.

    For Fun House readers, the film was important in yet another way. It contained the first nude scene in a mainstream, MPAA-approved film in the 30 years since the Hays Code went into effect. The MPAA approval, granted on appeal after an initial rejection, effectively ended the power of the Hays Code and the Legion of Decency over moviemaking in Hollywood. The actress in the scene was Thelma Oliver, playing a prostitute who tries to entice Sol into giving her some money by undressing in front of him (what happens instead is that she evokes memories of his wife, who was raped and murdered in the death camps, and triggers a traumatic reaction on his part). Here is a vidcap from that scene.

    Sarah Silverman
    (1, 2, 3)

    The comedienne sporting some impressive wonderbra cleavage.

    Arielle Dombasle
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The American born star of French cinema in a spread from the Dec 02 issue of the French Photo magazine.

    The breakdown:
    Subtle nipple sighting in #1 and #3
    Partial breast and bum views in #2
    Topless in link #5

    Sonia Braga
    (1, 2)

    One of the most often nude women in non-adult movies, topless and baring her bum in "Dona Flor e Seus Dois Maridos".

    Eva Santolaria
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    From Vejiita, 4 Collages of Spanish Actress topless and full frontal in several sex scenes from the movie "Susanna".

    Girls Gone Wild
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    You've seen the commercials, now see the goodies. A whole bunch of breasts. plus the occasional bum and some gyno views in scenes from the "Snoop Dogg's Doggy Style" version of the popular series.

    Nicole Eggert A see-thru nipple sighting from the former "Baywatch" babe.

    Kim Cattrall
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Kim looking pretty darn good barely dressed on the cover and pages of the April '03 issue of FHM.

    Miller Lite Catfight Babes Kitana Baker and Tanya Ballinger looking very hot in bikinis on the cover of the April 03 issue of Stuff Magazine.

    Amanda Peet Topless in scenes from "Igby Goes Down".

    Uschi Digard
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the ultra-busty softcore legend in scenes from "Pleasures of a Woman" (1974). In addition to views of her two greatest assests, there is also plenty of rear nudity (links 15 and 16) and pubes (links 5,7,8,9,13 and 18)

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Your note on Roger Corman reminded me of the one time I met him. It was around 1982. It had recently become hip to start lauding him for his contributions to the art of cinema ("Teenage Caveman," "The Navy Vs. The Night Monsters," etc.) He was in Dallas to be honored by the SMU Film Festival or something (I can't remember exactly what), and there was a press conference. Since I was on the radio at the time, I was invited, and of course, wild horses couldn't have kept me away.

    He was charming, soft-spoken and self-effacing, and seemed not to have let his sudden critical elevation go to his head. He kept getting all these film student-type questions about things like the mise-en-scene in his films, or the influence one or another of them had on the works of some great director, and he'd answer them seriously, but he kept working around to something more important, which was plugging his latest film that was just being released. This was "Sorceress," a made-in-Mexico tits-and-broadswords epic starring two twin Playboy models. And even while he was plugging it, he frankly admitted that it hadn't come out as well as he would have liked. Can you imagine how bad a movie must be for it not to live up to the high standards of Roger Corman?

    I was so impressed at both his honesty and his attention to business, I decided to do the one thing that I figured none of those fawning cineasts at the press conference would have done: I actually paid to go see "Sorceress" that weekend. It was hilariously awful. Everybody but the blond twins was dubbed, and the blondes' line readings were so bad, they should've been dubbed, too. The plot was incomprehensible, and it inexplicably mixed up creatures from all different cultures, eras and mythologies. My memory of it is pretty vague, but I seem to recall a Viking and a centaur battling a bunch of Mayans or something. I do remember that the toplessness was quite impressive, and I laughed myself silly throughout it. I just looked it up on the IMDB, and the review line that came up was "Beyond a doubt, the worst film I've ever seen." That could be understating it. Still, I can't help but chuckle when I remember it, because I always think of the contrast between all those film buffs fawning over Corman and the quality of the cinematic masterpiece he was currently promoting.

    In the immortal words of another famously bad low-budget director, William "One Shot" Beaudine, he really went out there and sold 'em a load of clams.