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Revenge of the Nerds
"We've got bush."
Panty Raid Editon
Revenge of the Nerds was one of the more significant
offerings from the golden age of youthploitation comedies. There was at least
one memorable entry in this genre in every year from 1982 to 1986.
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Ferris Beuhler's Day Off (1986) 7.8
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The Breakfast Club (1985) 7.7
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Better Off Dead (1985) 7.1
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Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) 7.1
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Sixteen Candles (1984) 6.9
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Risky Business (1983) 6.5
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Revenge of the Nerds (1984) 6.0
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One Crazy Summer (1986) 5.9
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Porky's (1982) 5.5
The IMDb scores don't necessarily reflect the cultural
impact of the films. Porky's, for example, not only kicked off an entire
genre, but defined the frontiers of raunchy 80s comedies, and has been chosen
on many all-time favorite comedy polls. It remains to this day as the
highest-grossing Canadian film of all time in terms of international revenues.
Some of these films hold up better than others. I just
watched Revenge of the Nerds for the first time in years, and it wasn't really
as good as I remembered. The jokes are mediocre, the characters are too broad,
and there really isn't much on paper at all. You could probably cut it to 45
minutes without missing anything important. A lot of it is padded out with a
Campus Olympics event which seems to be in real time and isn't really that
amusing, followed by a talent competition which is moderately entertaining at
best. Having said that, though, I'm forced to admit that the film had some
real icon-building power in its day. After 20 years I still remembered the
names of many of the characters, and in at least two cases, I've always called
these actors by the names of their characters in this film. That big dude will
always be Ogre. I'm sure Ogre must have a real name as well, but I have no
idea what it is. And Curtis Armstrong, who delivered the film's best comic
performance, is and always will be the cynical, defiant, horny, slovenly
Booger.
Armstrong was kind of the Gabby Hayes of youthploitation
comedies, in that he always seemed to be the comical sidekick of the leading
character. He did this in seven different genre films. He played John Cusack's
sidekick in both of the Savage Steve Holland films (One Crazy Summer and
Better Off Dead), and he also played Tom Cruise's little buddy in Risky
Business. In addition to his faux-Booger roles, he also played the
honest-to-goodness authentic Booger in a total of four Revenge of the Nerds
films (he was 41 years old in the final one).
When it comes to this genre, Booger, you are the man.
There are a few small pleasures in the film as well. Hidden
in the nooks and crannies of the cast are some very fine performers playing
small roles before they would achieve fame. James Cromwell plays the equally
nerdy father of one of the nerds, and John Goodman plays an bullying football
coach.
The DVD features are a mixed bag:
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There is a widescreen anamorphic version of the film, but
the transfer is not especially impressive.
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The deleted scenes were wisely deleted. Because I know what
you're wondering, I'll add that they do not include any additional flesh. (And
yes, it's always the first thing I check.)
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There is a long-forgotten pilot for a Nerds TV sitcom with
none of the original cast. It demonstrates that TV executives are occasionally
capable of exercising good judgment, as they did when they redlighted this
project.
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There is one marvelous feature. There's a featurette in
which the director and key cast members look back on the film from today. They
are men remembering one of the best times they ever had in their lives, and
it's impossible to remain aloof from their enthusiasm and passion. The eyes of
every single one of them lit up with nostalgia when he or she started
reminiscing, and they laughed almost non-stop through their recollections. I
got carried away listening to them, and wished I could have been there as part
of that experience
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There's also a full-length commentary by Booger and others,
including the director, but I didn't take the time to listen to that because
... well ... because this isn't Casafuckingblanca, after all.
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There's an booklet with additional insights into the film.
Here's an interesting tidbit from the essay:
"To prepare for his role as head nerd Louis Skolnick, Robert
Carradine arrived two weeks early to the campus to live the life of a real
college student. He even went though the real fraternity rush week to get a
feel for it, and in a hilarious case of life imitating art, not a single
fraternity chose him. With a laugh, Carradine just shrugs, 'I didn't realize
until we started this picture that I really am a nerd.'"
On our scale it is a C. It's not one of the great genre
offerings like Bueller or Better Off Dead, but it's a pleasant watch, and a
film that left an impression on me for two decades.
Julie Mo
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk: expanded format.
* Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Silent Witness
Silent Witness was made for TV in 1985.
Anna (Valerie Bertinelli) and Kevin Dunne (John Savage) are a mostly happy
young couple saving for their first house and trying to get pregnant in
Pittsburgh. She works at a discount department store, and he owns a trash
hauling business. He comes from a close Irish family. After work, she meets
him at the Happy Hour, the family's favorite gin mill. There, she sees her
married brother-in-law and two of his friends romancing an obviously
inebriated Melissa Leo. The four lose their balance and fall to the floor. The
three pick her up, carry her to a table, and rape her. The bartender pulls out
a club, but one of the three guys takes it from him and threatens everyone
else in the bar if they interfere. Most leave, but Anna and Kevin are forced
to stay and watch helplessly.
The girl, an alcoholic subject to blackouts, remembered who raped her, but
not where, and wasn't going to report it until her counselor nearly forced her
to. The Dunne family immediately pressures Anna and Kevin into not testifying,
which would would make the trial the victim's word against the three accused
and the bartender. Given the victim's history of blackouts, it looks like a
cakewalk for the defense.
And now we come to the point of the film. The story centers around the
rape, which we see in real time so that there is no question that it was rape,
and a brutal one at that, with one of the three guys even taking out a knife.
There is always some rhetoric about any film depicting rape as misogynistic,
but here, the rape was shown accurately as a horrible violent crime, and is
therefore, in my opinion, feminist, and not misogynistic at all.
But this film is not really about the rape or the rape victim at all. Until
I took a long look at the title trying to figure out what to say, I didn't
grasp that point. Once I did, the narrative decisions made more sense. The
film is really about Anna's moral and ethical dilemma. When Anna sees the girl
break under cross examination on TV, she has had enough. She agrees to
testify, and the family, through their attorney, come after her in spades.
I would have preferred a different focus, one with more character
development, especially showing the make-up and closeness of the family before
the rape. That would have helped to explain everyone's reactions to the
incident. I would have liked to understand, for example, why the rapist's wife
and mother, even after knowing he was guilty, continued to perjure themselves
and and attack other family members to defend him.
However, the film was about Anna dealing with the position she found
herself in, with all of her sympathies on the side of the rape victim, and her
loyalties with her husband, and given that fact, it is not a bad film. In
fact, it is meatier than much TV fare, although I predicted the ending less
than halfway through the film.
This is a C.
IMDb readers say 6.1.
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Melissa Leo shows breasts in
the very realistic rape scene. This is not in any way gratuitous, as the
storyline required the audience to know for certain that the crime of
rape had been committed.
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About Last Night ...
The Time Machine is back in 1986 for a very young Demi Moore in About Last
Night.
Super cute Demi and her cute little tits sexing it up with Rob Lowe ...
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Toi et Moi
Ariane (Julie Depardieu) uses her own life as inspiration for the florid stories she concocts for the titular newsstand publication. Wishful projections of her happily-ever-after dreams, Ariane's
writing centers around women finding paradise in the arms of a kind, wealthy stranger, though her reality with
a commitment-phobic boyfriend Farid (Tomer Sisley) and a Spanish construction worker suitor Pablo (Sergio Peris-Mencheta)
is a far cry from such fantasies.
Meanwhile, her sibling Lena (Marion Cotillard), a professional cellist who plays
with technical proficiency but little passion, is stuck in a similar amorous rut, living with monotonous boyfriend François (Eric Berger) while secretly pining for fiery violin soloist Mark (Jonathan Zaccaï).
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Notes and collages
Private School
....I am going to refer to this as a "FANTASY" moment just to sneak it into
my Fantasy/Sci-Fi series; Ms. Russell looks spectacular...
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Images
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Here, at last, are some better versions of the Antonella Barba pictures. I
know she can't sing as well as some of the others, but she has my vote.
Forever.
Am I the only cynic who thinks these pictures were released with Barba's
full permission, maybe even at her behest? The pics demonstrate that she
has movie star looks and a killer body, and they have the whole world
talking about her. You think that will hurt her chances? Quite to the
contrary, it seems to me that she has exactly one chance to win American
Idol, and this is it. If she released them herself, she could get fired,
ala Frenchie, but if someone else takes credit, she can simply act
offended and cry all the way to the bank. And even if she does get fired,
she had nothing to lose since she wasn't going to win without some kind of
kick-start. Plus the publicity will probably generate a career for her
anyway. For her, the situation is win-win. To me, their appearance is a
bit too convenient. |
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Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan. (Still
nothing of good quality.) |
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Assumpta Serna in The Secret Garden |
 
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Rainbeaux Smith in The Incredible Melting Man |
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Trishelle Cannatta in The Dukes of Hazzard II. Man, if ever we needed a
sequel! It doesn't even have Stifler, Knoxville or Burt Reynolds, although
poor ol' Willie Nelson was low enough on rolling papers that he needed the
tiny paycheck
which he must have earned for reprising his role as Uncle Jessie. |
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Film Clips
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A
great clip of Avril Lavigne
mooning a red carpet audience.
Sample to the left. |
Another
great clip of Candice
Michelle flashing her breasts on WWE Raw. It seems to have been unscripted,
judging from the cameraman's reaction. Or maybe they wanted to make it seem
unscripted. Sample to the right. |
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Isild LeBesco is back again
today, this time in Girls Can't Swim. |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
British journalist Tara Winter Wilson has written a book about what she
calls "Toxic Wife Syndrome." Wilson said such women see marriage as a
career: they target older men, and immediately start flirting and wanting to
know their bank balances. She said the women are undermining marriage and
collecting ridiculous divorce settlements. Women have sent hate mail
accusing her of betraying feminism. But she says Toxic Wives do a
disservice to women, and she's heard from hordes of men suffering from
them. She warns men, "Unless you marry an equal who is going to pay her own
way, you will end up with a lazy, indulgent, over-pampered slug."
* So if you don't want a lazy, indulgent, over-pampered slug, marry a woman
with money, like Paris Hilton.
* The bad news for aspiring Toxic Wives: Only two of the Beatles are still
alive.
At least two winning tickets to the record $370 million Mega Millions
jackpot were sold, one of whom was trucker Ed Nabors of Rocky Face, Georgia,
who'll get about $80 million after taxes.
* He said he plans to buy his daughter a house so she can move out of her
trailer, then he'll go fishing
* You'll be able to spot his truck by the solid gold mudflaps.
O.J. Simpson's videographer told the New York Post that O.J. said he knew
Anna Nicole Smith pretty well, and he had "slow-moving sperm," so he might
be the father of her baby * Well, she was a big-breasted blonde named
Nicole who ended up mysteriously dead. Maybe she WAS seeing O.J.
Ernest Gallo, the wine-making brother who helped popularize low-cost wine
and introduced the cheap, high-alcohol Thunderbird label, has died at 97
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All around the world, winos observed a moment of silence. Or maybe they
just had a blackout.
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