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"Joy Ride" (2001)

Joy Ride (2001) is an escapist action/horror, and the plot seems entirely derrivitive to me, although it was well-received by the public (IMDB score of 7.1 of 10, and gross of $22m) and the critics (Ebert 3 1/2 stars, Berardinelli, 2 1/2 stars). Steve Zahn is heading home for the summer from Cal Berkeley, and decides to cash in his plane ticket, buy a car, and pick up Leelee Sobieski in Texas. He is informed that his brother (Paul Walker) has been arrested in Utah, and stops by to bail him out. Bro bys a CB, and decides it would be fun to have Zahn pretend to be a female, and get a trucker all hot and bothered. He asks the trucker to meet at a motel. The trucker doesn't find the joke amusing, and becomes the evil presence that chases the brothers, and then Leelee as well, a la Spielberg's brilliant Dual." We also have a chase scene through endless rows of corn (haven't we seen that somewhere before?)

Leelee pokes out of nearly everything she wears, but keeps covered. However, it is Leelee with good pokies. I certainly wish someone would get her into a good film and out of her clothes. To me, this is little more than an ok genre effort, or C+.

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  • Leelee Sobieski (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "The Delos Adventure"

    The Delos Adventure (1987) is a budget release of a cold war conflict adventure film that has a team going to a remote island off the coast of Argentina to place seismic buoys and a SATCOM link. They think it is for geological research, but it is actually a Navel Intelligence system to track Soviet submarines. The Russians get there first in a submersible platform called Delos, and begin killing the US team.

    The exposure is from one-time wonder Kathryn Noble, who shows an excellent body (breasts and buns, and maybe a hint of bush) in a totally gratuitous nude swimming scene as the girlfriend of someone who works at the lab. There are no reviews or comments available on-line. The quality on the budget DVD was poor, so it is hard to tell if it was technically decent or not, but it was a ho-hum average cold war thriller. C-.

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  • Kathryn Noble (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    "Pick-up Summer"

    Pick-up Summer (1980) is a teensploitation summer fun tittie flick (originally known as Pinball Summer) revolving around a pinball tournament, and the rivalry between the "normal" guys and some evil bikers. The good guys are not that good, the evil bikers are not that evil, the acting is abysmal, the plot is totally lame in its best moments, and the IMDB score of 6.1 of 10 is incomprehensible. It is unique to see a summer fun film not set in Florida or Southern California. All of the women in the cast run around barely in bikinis, but two of them have clear breast exposure, Joy Boushel (The Fly, Look Who's Talking) in her first credited performance, and Eva Robin, who does not appear in the credits in any on-line source. It has escaped IMDBs attention that this film is available on bargain DVD, and the credits on the DVD might be more complete than on previous VHS versions. This film is a D, and would be lower if not for the exposure.

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  • Eva Robin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Joy Boushell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Sexy Beast hasn't really been seen by enough people to make a showing in any of our polls, but if it had, it would have to be a very strong contender for "the most overrated film ever made". I estimated that without the repetition of dialogue, it was about a 30 minute movie. At one point, I think Ben Kingsley says the word "no" 38 consecutive times (see the full review). Yet the film accrued 87% positive reviews, and critics generally went ga-ga for it. I fell asleep! (Literally)

    • Orgy scene. Quite a bit of nudity in this scene, but I don't know who they are. (1, 2, 3)

    Super Troopers is a lowbrow comedy, currently in theaters, which I have not seen, but there is an r-rated trailer for it on the Sexy Best DVD, so here's the naked German chick. Lots of motion blur, but still better than nothing at all.

    Get Out Your Handkerchiefs is quite similar in certain ways to Going Places. In both films, Gerard Depardieu and Patrick Dewaere can't please the woman they share, so they take her to the countryside where she finally finds fulfillment from an unlikely source. Although the two flicks also have the same director, they aren't really that similar (see the review),  but they both have plenty of well-lit nudity.

    • Carole Laure (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    "Lethal Target" is yet another 90 minute crap fest from the writer director team of Chris Hyde and Lloyd A. Simandl (who directed and produced). This is the first of 3 movies that are almost identical. The other two are "Last Stand" (which I did yesterday) and "Fatal Conflict" (Tuna covered this one not too long ago). So how similar are they? Well they use the same sets, many of the same actors, the same costumes, many of the same "special effects", some of the same footage, and many of the same plot elements. Basically it looks like they were not only shot at the same time, but on the same day! With different actress and only marginally different dialogue for each take.

    The "plot":
    Once again we start off with the women in prison theme (literally, the same scene!) In prison is our "heroine", a former cop that said no to authority, was set up, and ended up doing hard time. Once again, our heroine is selected for a special assignment that is basically a suicide mission. However, if she succeeds, she'll shave time off of her sentence....EXACTLY the same set up as "Last Stand"!!!

    The find out what happened to the crew of a ship, and stop it's collision course with Earth.

    What's on the ship?...Well during some time travel experiment, something went wrong and only one person survived, Kim Dawson. Except now she's a horny voyeuristic lesbian controlled by a bacteria from some other dimension. She gives the crew members the virus (which they share with each other by having sex while she watches) and then a cheap rip off alien hatches from their bellies.

    Yes gang, this movie really is that bad, and I'm not even counting all of the technical flaws like fluorescent lighting, bad sound and crappy special effects. Avoid it like the plague!

    The nudity:
    A little bit more than "Last Stand", although the sex scenes were about as exciting as staring at a brick wall.

    The caps:
    Again, lame quality, but not entirely my fault. Breasts only, but Unknown links 2,3 and 5 are semi-revealing upskirt peeks.

    • CC Costigan, the star of the movie. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    • Kim Dawson, the evil, horny, lesbo. Rear nudity as she gets a massage. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Petra Kulikova, the crew member that has sex, then has the alien hatch from her belly. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Unknown babes working in the salt mines. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • One of Kim Dawson's lesbo lovers


    Part 2 of "The Abductors"...The Three cheerleaders, Jeramie Rain, Ined Som and Honey Well are still topless, tied up and being terrorized by the white slavers.

    Heidi Klum
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Comments by Mr. T
    Scoop, I found these vidcaps of Heidi showing a nipple! Are these 'caps similar to the outtakes from Sports Illustrated that were recently sold to the German Hefmag? By the way, that's one lucky monkey!

    -Mr. T

    Anke Sevenich Topless and frontal views from German TV in scenes from "Klinikum Berlin Mitte" (2000), by Schmutzfink.

    News from the Sleuth!
  • Visit Celebrity Sleuth!

    Dear Scoop:

    Hope all is well with the Fun House... our V15 N1, "NudesWorthy II" has just come out--. It took about 2-3 issues for the new publisher, separator and printer to get it right, but I think this one returns us to our former least I hope so.

    Forgive me not getting back to you sooner, but I just returned from two weeks in Mexico and at the Grammys in L.A. Sat across the aisle from Dr. Ruth at the Awards show--she can't be over 4'8''. She was nominated for Best Spoken Word for a Children's Record, but lost. Later, we found ourselves standing next to each at the Agnolotti buffet. I asked her if the pasta was "an aphrodisiac," and she trilled, "uf coors!"

    Seems we had more celebrity meetings and sightings than ever before this time. Among the highlights: The Ivy is probably the #1 celebrity hangout in Los Angeles, but I can honestly say that every single male who exited the restaurant stared right at Mrs. Sleuth as he left. Truly. The fact that Cameron Diaz was sitting right behind her might have had something to do with it, though...Ironically, we were seated at the better table than Cam...we were in front of the fireplace, she was in the booth perpendicular to us, but when we sat down she was leaning way back and I didn't get a good look at her. So I said to my wife, "I think that may be Daryl Hannah behind you...". She peered over her shoulder and said, "Naah, not pretty enough." Which was TRUE...Cameron doesn't look that great in person at all--bad complexion and kind of wan. Until she speaks, that is...the smile and giggle are terrific and she was very animated in conversation {of which we couldn't help hearing every word}. When the producer across the table from her {who paid} named Bob mentioned that someone had "won a Fulbright," Cammie said, "What's that?" So he explained about the scholarship. She was with a bearded guy whom she referred to as "Jimmy" or "Timmy", but they weren't affectionate {though seemed very familiar with each other}. We were seated together for over an hour and a half, so we're pretty familiar with her by now. Ironically, Cameron is famous for saying in at least four separate interviews: "I do one topless picture, and it winds up on the fucking cover of fucking Celebrity Sleuth Magazine for fuck's sake!" Good thing she didn't know who I was, or I'd have been fucked I guess...

    As she got up to leave, she bent over to pick up her purse...and afforded me a perfect view down her flimsy white peasant blouse {none of the bodice strings were tied}. I could literally see down to her navel--it wasn't pierced--but alas she was wearing a little white demi-bra. But her 34B cones {by my expert estimation} were clearly perfectly formed and exceedingly pert. I would honestly say, though, that there were at least ten women in the restaurant who were more attractive than Cameron {though her bubbly personality certainly enhances her appeal}.

    I almost had a tinge of regret for what we do--almost--when she left The Ivy and was immediately set upon by at least five paparazzi {one was driving down the center of the street in a big black Ford Expedition shooting video out the window}. I mean, golly, can't she even eat in peace?! Is a photo of Cameron Diaz in peasant blouse, blue jeans and boots walking down the Robertson Blvd. in the middle of the day really WORTH anything? I was a bit embarrassed by it all...

    But not so two days later when my wife was getting a free makeup consultation at Barney's Dept. Store. I wondered off near the shoe dept. and nearly walked smack into...Jessica Alba. And trust me, Scoop: unlike Cammie, Jessica is TWICE as gorgeous in person as on the screen or in pix! What a fox!! Then, I swear, she said: "...being overly amorous..." right to my face! I said, "Excuse me?"--before I noticed she was speaking on a hidden headset beneath her long hair that must've been connected to a cordless phone. Here I was about to say, "Being overly amorous sounds like a good suggestion to me...," when I realized she was chatting with a friend. Ah well...I got several lingering, long looks at her {black turtleneck beneath an open leather jacket, tight stonewashed jeans...revealing a surprising small, flat ass}. But her face was flawless...

    Jessica came into the store with Michael Weatherly {who is still her fiancée it seems}, but he left after about 10 minutes, and she shopped by herself--winding up with four Barney's bags under her arm. Tell your Funhouse mates that she's everything you'd fantasize about...and more.

    Brief synopses of the other celebs we encountered: Holly Robinson-Peete is definitely the sweetest star we've ever met {we first met Holly in Bali in 1993 when she was dating Shaquille O'Neill...she intrigues all the top athletes because, besides being really pretty in person, she's constantly inquisitive and loves travel, etc. A real doll}. She pretended to remember us and we talked for about 5 minutes at the entrance to the Grammy's...I also talked with her equally nice hubby, Rodney Peete--who said he's now the backup quarterback for the Raiders {"I'm staying as long as somebody will have me," he joked. "It's been 14 years."}. They were on their way to our old Redskin coach Norv Turner's box at the Grammy's ...why Norv has a box at the Staples Center I can't guess. Norv was Rodney's QB coach at USC, so they go way back {he was such a poor passer at Oregon that they used to call him, "Norvel Turnover"}.

    At the Grammys we also saw Mary J. Blige, CeCe Winans {a bit chunky, but a beautiful face}, May Pang {John Lennon's lover when he disappeared from Yoko for a couple of years} and Gary Busey, who looked lost. Britney came by quickly before the show, but she was already attired in her red dress and barely stopped. There were lots of "handlers" around her {the snakes!}.

    As for the show--we thought it was really lacking in star power...I love Alicia Keys, but without performances from Britney, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Elton, Sir Paul...hell, even Celine just didn't have any pizzaz. And I don't know how he came across on TV, but Jon Stewart is way too cerebral and laid back for such a large venue. Nice guy, but no ooomph. At least Rosie O'Donnell kept us in stitches with dirty jokes {I mean filthy!} during the breaks.

    The next day, after the parties, we checked into the Hotel Bel-Air...and everyone seemed to be there. Michael Jackson was "in residence" throughout our 4-day stay...but never emerged from his room! He was there with his two children {you know, the blond and blue-eyed ones he supposedly sired}, but none of the hotel employees or guests were allowed to see them {they were brought in from a rear entrance}. Hey, Jacko...get over yourself--no one's buying the "King of Pop" crap anymore!

    When we went to sit out our favorite alcove table for the famed Bel-Air Sunday brunch...Harrison Ford and George Lucas were already sitting there! Perhaps planning a major plot twist for Episode Three? {Solo doubles for Jar-Jar?}. Harrison looked really good {Lucas always looks frumpy}--especially after his rather shaky performance at the Golden Globes in January. And I'm proud to say that the ol' Raider of the Lost Ark checked out my wife thoroughly as she walked by.

    The night before we'd had dinner with Mike Stoller and his wife. He, along with lyricist Jerry Leiber, wrote such classics as "(You Ain't Nothin' But a) Hound Dog," "Jailhouse Rock," "Yakety-Yak," "Along Came Jones," "Poison Ivy," "Stand By Me," "Spanish Harlem," "On Broadway," "I (Who Have Nothing)," and even "Is That All There Is?" for the late Peggy Lee {Mike's wife, Corky, played the harp at Peggy's recent memorial service}. The Broadway revue, "Smokey Joe's Cafe" was based on the music of Leiber & Stoller. Anyway, we met Mike and Corky on our Millennium Cruise to Fiji...and got together since we were in L.A. He's a truly nice guy...and even survived the Andrea Doria cruise disaster (1956). And they know we waited to be seated at Vincenti's, a guy came up to Mike and hugged him was Robert Chartoff {he and Irwin Winkler produced the "Rocky" and "Superman" series}. Just another day in La-La Land...

    I also found myself standing next to Robert Horry of the Lakers in the men's dept. of Barney's {it's the store right next to Winona's carryout, Saks Fifth Avenue--and yes, we saw the "Free Winona" T-shirts on sale in Venice Beach}. He's a really good looking guy...and a very underrated player, I think {he's got four rings at last count...not by coincidence}.

    At Spago's of Beverly Hills we saw Christopher Lambert at an adjoining table...and he looked like a little French twerp. But having been married to delicious Diane Lane will forever place him in the Pantheon.

    At the Bel-Air we encountered Lorenzo Lamas and his kids, as well as Bob Guccione, Jr.

    The morning of the Grammys I had lunch with Ike Turner--who has got to be the youngest looking 70 year old I've ever seen! {apparently, regularly walloping Tina was good exercise!}. Ike was with two busty black babes {the three were sharing a room AND a bed, since we had walked by their room and the door was wide open earlier}. While he and I were talking, a cell phone went off in the purse or one of the babes, and Ike snapped: "Bitch, answer the damn phone!" Guess he hasn't mellowed completely...

    So that's my Grammy report...and I'm stickin' to it!

    At the Mexican resort we stayed at before flying to L.A., they'd just gotten rid of "the guest from Hell"...Courtney Love. At least they were able to put the room damage on her bill, but the head of the hacienda {whom we know from Bali} is a shy, sensitive Scotsman who told me that Courtney called and specifically asked that he bring a TV to her room {there are no such electronic devices to mar the stillness}. When he rounded one up and knocked on her door, she said, "Come in...". And when he did, she was totally, stark raving nude! Not a stitch. As the British would say, "he quickly made his apologies and left"...definitely shaken, not stirred.

    On the other hand, they told us that Robert Redford was just a totally delightful, considerate guest. And promised to send his "son," Brad Pitt {with Jennifer}.

    So the good news is we had a great trip ... the bad news is I now have SEVENTEEN DAYS of Fun House to catch up on!

    So I'm off to do that

    All the Best,


  • Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    As always, Pat's comments are in yellow...


    Check this story out, particularly the picture. Aren't you glad Anne Robinson didn't wear that outfit?

    And here's something from IMDB News' "Methinks They Doth Protest Too Much" Department. Say, didn't this chick pose for Playboy awhile back?...

    Phillips Furious At Secret Genital Shots
    Bijou Phillips is furious at Bully director Larry Clark for secretly including shots of her genitals in his controversial new film. The outspoken 21-year-old only discovered Clark had included the explicit footage, which Phillips claims she was not party to, when she saw the film's premiere. Phillips, who dates musician Sean Lennon, rants, "I see the movie for the first time, and I'm like, 'You f***ing pricks!' I'm sitting there at the premiere, and I'm like, 'Whyyyyy?' I had no idea. Because the camera only has to go like this," she says as she slightly tilts her hand, "to look at my p***y, so how am I supposed to know? F***ing pricks!" The affair echoes that of Sharon Stone, who claimed Basic Instinct director Paul Verhoeven tricked her into baring her genitals in the notorious 'leg-crossing' scene in the 1990 film. Stone claimed the controversial film-maker had asked her to remove her white knickers because they were causing a reflection on film - and then used a shot of her private parts in the thriller, without her permission.

    A story just popped up on the wires about comedienne Dercy Goncalves, 94, posing nude for the Brazilian Penthouse.

    • She will be wearing Depends, but they'll be thong Depends...
    • Her turn-ons are "Mint-Flavored Poly Grip" and "Men with a pulse"
    • She has to ask her boyfriends, "Did you take Viagra or is rigor mortis setting in?"
    • Pray it doesn't give Phyllis Diller any ideas.

    Well, Anna Nicole may not get $440 million, but maybe she'll get $88 million. I hope she understands this, since she's not accustomed to the concept of a shrinking figure...

    (Fox SANTA ANA, Calif. - Federal judge rules ex-Playmate Anna Nicole Smith gets more than $88 million in damages stemming from a court fight over the estate of her late oil tycoon husband, J. Howard Marshall II.

    The ruling was handed down this morning in Santa Ana. U.S. District Court Judge David O. Carter said in a written ruling that Smith was entitled to $44.3 million in punitive damages and that same amount in compensatory damages against Marshall's son, E. Pierce Marshall. Smith, 33, has fought lengthy court battles in California and Texas for more than $400 million left behind by her late husband, who died at age 90 in August 1995, 14 months after they wed. Pierce Marshall said she should get nothing.

    Marshall was appealing a previous California court decision awarding Smith more than $400 million of his father's money. Carter vacated that award. In his 80-page ruling Thursday, Carter gave nothing to the son and admonished him and others for interfering in the couple's relationship. Those actions included spying and controlling Smith's access to her husband in the days before he died, according to the ruling. In a separate case, a Texas jury a year ago concluded Smith had no right to any money.

    When J. Howard Marshall died, his estate went into a trust that gave parts of his fortune to charities, his foundation, his son and other individuals but not to Smith. She sued to get a part of it.

    According to Carter's ruling, Smith had a reasonable expectation that she would receive a portion of her husband's estate and a reasonable expectation that she would receive it without interference. The amount of the estate is in dispute but is believed to be worth at least several hundred million dollars.

    "J. Howard made numerous promises to Vickie that she would receive half of what he owned," the ruling said.

    The former Playboy Playmate, whose real name is Vickie Lynn Marshall, met her husband in 1991 when she was working as a stripper. The couple married three years later when she was 26 and he was 89. He died the following year.

    And now, something from IMDB News involving your two favorite people, other than Jennifer Connelly. Pam is mad at Kim for not loving animals enough. What else can I say but..."Cat fight! Cat fight!"

    Pamela Anderson Infuriated By Kim Cattrall
    Pamela Anderson is furious with Kim Cattrall - after learning of her love for fishing, leather and fur. Pam, who is an avid animal rights activist and member of the People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA), fired an angry letter to the American Airlines in-flight magazine American Way after she read a recent cover story on Cattrall, 45, which included photos of her wearing a lynx coat. The article also gave advice on good fishing spots and where to look for leather products in Vancouver - the Canadian city where both stars grew up. Anderson writes, "I was thrilled to see my hometown featured as a 'Celebrated Weekend' travel destination, but as a member of PETA ... there are lots of animal-friendly alternatives to Kim Cattrall's fishing and fur trips." She then suggested locations for "fun-seekers who don't want to sacrifice compassion".

    Scoop's comments:

    I hope Pammy never wanders into my restaurant, the Politically Incorrect Cafe. If you're in the neighborhood of Mobile, Alabama, stop in for a juicy manatee steak, following the specialty appetizer of the house, our Spotted Owl Wings, buffalo style.

    But remember, we have a strict dress code - you must be wearing at least one item of apparel made from endangered species.