* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







La Maison du Canal

La Maison du Canal (2003), or The House by the Canal is a Belgian made-for-TV drama starring Isild Le Besco. She plays Edmee, a 16-year old girl suddenly orphaned when her father dies. She is to live with her uncle on his farm in the boonies, but when she arrives, he too is dying. His oldest son, who shared his father's passion for prostitutes, becomes the man of the house, determined to make sure Edmee knows her place. His younger brother, a hunchback, is fond of Edmee.

Up to this point, I thought I understood the plot: Edmee wasn't happy in the sticks, she resented her older cousin trying to control her, and sought refuge with the dim-witted hunchback.

Then the plot got going in earnest, and I no longer had a grasp of what the film was trying for. What follows will be complete spoilers.


Edmee and her obnoxious cousin do it on a wood pile. Voluntarily? Who knows. If someone told me is was rape, or it was her idea, I would believe either story. Then a little kid jumps out and makes fun of them. The cousin kills the kid accidentally, whereupon he and the hunchback bury the kid. Edmee responds by getting tuberculosis, which leads her into a meeting with a rich uncle who is a bigger whoremonger her obnoxious cousin. Then she seems to decide decide to marry her obnoxious cousin, but she convinces the hunchback to strangle her on her wedding day.

He, of course, lovingly obliges.


I find myself drawn in by Isild Le Besco, with her pouty mouth and "me first" attitude. She has a lovely body, and has shown a willingness to share it, but even given nudity from a favorite, this film has no fascination for me. There was probably a point to it, but somehow it didn't survive the translation to subtitles.

This is a very low C-. (Or less, if it is equally opaque in French.)

There is one French review, and no comments.

IMDb readers say 6.0 but based on an insignificant 30 votes.



Isild Le Besco shows breasts in three scenes, and buns in one of them.










Basically Becca

Basically Becca is the holy grail for Kira Reed fans because it's her only hardcore video. The lucky man is her real life husband (See






Survival Island (aka Three)

Day two of Kelly Brook in Survival Island. This time Kelly winds up as a "Babe in Bondage," although purely of the consensual variety.









When Jan (Paul Soter) and Todd's (Erik Stolhanske) grandfather dies, they learn from their grandmother that he always wished his ashes would be buried in Germany. When the brothers learn that Oktoberfest is about to take place in Germany, they leap on the chance to deliver the ashes themselves. While there, the brothers learn of a drinking competition known as 'Beerfest', and decide to form their own team after being humiliated by the Germans.


Candace Smith



Sarah Figoten


Simona Fusco












Bachelor Party - Vegas


Diane Klimaszewski
Elaine Klimaszewski
both Klimaszewskis
Diora Baird
Marisa Petroro
Tamara Whelan
Sophie Rossi
Tamara Whelan and Sophie Rossi






Notes and collages

The Man Who Fell to Earth

...Ms. Candy Clark looks great in this cult classic about an alien (played by David Bowie) who comes to Earth in an attempt to save his own species from ecological annihilation but ends up being himself destroyed by the dark side of the human experience...







Most of you won't remember Mimsy Farmer, but she was born in Chicago, and started acting at 16 (a bit part in Spencer's Mountain in 1963). She acted in several films and TV before moving to Italy in 1970, fed up with the U.S. involvement in Vietnam. She then started a long career acting in Italian films, where she was known as the peroxide-blonde American leading lady. She moved to France in the 1980's with her teenage daughter and continued working in films. 1975's Autopsy is typical of her work, which continued into the early 1990's. Daughter Aisha Cerami is still an active actress in Italy today.

Young pathologist Simona Sana (Mimsy Farmer) is working in a morgue in Rome trying to complete her college thesis about natural deaths. The morgue is suddenly hit by a wave of suicides, but when a Catholic priest shows up adamantly insisting that is sister, a recent victim, did not commit suicide but was murdered, Simona decides to help him.

As the suicides mount, and the pair get closer to the truth, Simona finds that she herself is being stalked. Perhaps she is to be the next "suicide" victim?

Fairly lame horror mystery, but it is an interesting look at 70's Italian filmmaking, and an American actress who became an international star.

Mimsy Farmer









Kerry Condon's latest nudity in Rome

Kasi Lemmons in Vampire's Kiss. Kasi has directed two films which Tuna and I enjoyed: Eve's Bayou and The Caveman's Valentine.

Nora Tschirner in The Conclave

Renee Pietrangelo in Contradora is for Lovers

Film Clips

Three good ones today. Kieslowski's films are always splendid visually, and Irene Jacob is kinda splendid her own self, so you may want to see her in The Double Life of Veronique

Scarlett Johansson actually did a fairly hot sex scene in Match Point, which is pretty rare for a Woody Allen film. Unfortunately, Woody's films have always been more discreet than his private life, so there's no nudity.

If you haven't even seen films clips of Selma Blair in Storytelling, and you're a fan of the petite actress, they are a must-see.






Pat's comments in yellow...

Once again, Al Gore is being accused of hypocrisy, but from an unexpected source: PETA.  The animal rights group says that if he's serious about fighting global warming, he must stop eating meat.  They pointed to a UN report claiming that raising livestock creates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks combined.  They offered to cook Gore a vegetarian faux "fried chicken" meal as an introduction to a meat-free diet. 

*  Al is already on a meat-free diet; for the past five years, he's eaten nothing but pie.

*  Al would rather eat five Big Macs, then send a bag of rice to the Third World as a meat offset.


Brothel owners in Sofia, Bulgaria, claim global warming is causing a hooker shortage.  Their best prostitutes are off at ski resorts and won't come back because the lack of snow has forced tourists to engage in other activities. One brothel owner said they've had to resort to hiring college students and temps, who aren't nearly as good.

*  A hooker shortage is good for global warming; it means there'll be fewer emissions.

London's Daily Star reports that Queen Elizabeth was mortified after she asked her grandsons, Princes William and Harry, for help with her new answering machine.  They put on a message that went, "Hey, wassup!  This is Liz!  Sorry I'm away from the throne."  It went on to say to press one for Phillip, two for Charles and three for the corgis.
The paper said the Queen eventually saw the funny side, but her private secretary was not amused.

*  The Queen also asked them to program her Tivo, and now all she gets is porn.

* But she hasn't asked anyone to change it.

Following days of testimony, two hours of closing arguments and 90
minutes of jury instructions, the jury for the New Jersey doctor who ran over an 11-year-girl on his bike and then sued her for negligence for not getting out of his way ruled against him.  They deliberated for 15 minutes.

*  That included a 14-minute coffee break. 

*  He's now suing the jury for wasting 15 minutes of his time.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was sentenced to five days' community service mopping up a New York warehouse while wearing a safety vest, work gloves and boots, as punishment for throwing a phone at her maid's head. The boots aren't part of the uniform; she just looks hot in them. The judge warned that if she didn't clean the way he likes, he'll throw the book at her.

* A scrub woman who looks like a supermodel?  I thought that only happened in J-Lo movies. 


The Association of Social Anthropologists declared that it's no longer acceptable to call tribes "stone age," "primitive" or "savage," because it harms their welfare by creating an impression that they're backward.

* And how would they know what they're being called, since they're still 5,000 years away from inventing the printing press?