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"True Blue"

True Blue (2001) was reviewed by Scoopy a few days ago. Like him, I found it flawed and a barely adequate genre effort (thriller) about the cliched deteriorating police detective who, due to personal tragedy, has become essentially a jerk, and is not well thought of on the force. Scoop hated the ending, and thought the plot was too complex to follow. My objections were very different. The plot twists were not excessive, but the entire story, start to finish, was told on an even, low-energy, keel. Also, none of the characters were well-developed, and we didn't know enough about them to understand their motives. Had they varied pace and excitement level, and created three dimensional characters, I think this story could have been turned into a decent film.

We have breasts from Lisa Ng during a police raid early in the film, breasts from Lori Heuring in a lovemaking scene, and breasts from various women strippers and patrons of an S&M club. I give this a very low C-. Hard core genre addicts may find enough here to keep them from hitting fast-forward.

  • Thumbnails

  • Lisa Ng
  • Lori Heuring (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

    "A Business Affair"

    A Business Affair (1994) is a light international romantic comedy by a French production company in English, set mostly in London, and starring the lovely Carole Bouquet. At the start of the film. she is a department store floor model married to important writer Jonathan Pryce, who currently has writers block, and no sexual interest in his wife. She is busily working on a first novel, which is no end of irritation to him. American born publisher Christopher Walken first steals Pryce from his current publisher, then steals Bouquet from Pryce. Some of the best moments in the film involve the battle between Bouquet and Walken's Sicilian-from-New-York mother. Bouquet does everything she can to irritate the mother-in-law into leaving, including wearing a dress that is cut in back half way down her ass cheeks. She shows buns in a lovemaking scene, and again in a slow pan on a tanning table. She also shows tons of cleavage.

    The highlight of this film is Bouquet, who is as charming as she is beautiful, and has a command of English, albeit with a French accent. No new ground is covered, and no important truths are revealed. Production values are high, even on the budget 4/3 aspect DVD I screened. This is a run of the mill genre film, or C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Carole Bouquet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Olympics, last thoughts:

    After having read Pat Reeder's comments about Saddam hoping to host the Olympics, I decided I'm in favor of it..

    I admit it, I really miss the East Germans. Nowadays, the Olympics have only these wimpy-ass judging controversies involving some backdoor deals between the judges. What kind of cheating is that? That reminds me of the judging "arrangements" at high school debate tournaments. Pussy stuff. Now the East Germans - those guys were great cheats, They worked on a Wagnerian stage, and they were willing to do whatever it took to win. Send a man in a bad wig to participate in a woman's event.  Take a short-cut through the woods in the marathon. Shoot up their athletes with any substance that would help performance. Throw rocks on the bobsled run. Attach an Evinrude outdoor motor to a sculling boat. Those were guys who dared to dream.

    No limits, as they say in the shoe ads. The true meaning of competition.

    Just before the wall collapsed, I sent a suggested plot line to Vince McMahon's group. They still had midget wrestlers in those days, and I suggested that they should introduce a normal sized East German wrestler who would compete in the midget division. His manager would demonstrate, beyond the shadow of a doubt, using perfect Teutonic logic, that the man really was a midget. They would have pictures of his tiny parents, certificates of participation in midget events throughout the world, etc. Bobby, "The Brain" Heenan would advocate his case from the announcers' booth. They would take the case to court, and the WWF, lacking a precise written definition of a midget, would eventually have to let the man compete.

    Can you imagine the booing from the audience when this monstrous guy threw his undersized opponents around, and Bobby Heenan would crow that it was so easy for him because of East Germany's advanced scientific training techniques? If you think the crowds hated Rick Rude, just imagine what they would have done to this guy.

    I got a nice, personal letter back from one of their big honchos, not McMahon, but one of his top lieutenants (I think the guy's name was J.J. Dillon), and he mentioned that he read my letter aloud around the office, and they thought it was a funny idea, but that they didn't use any plotlines suggested by outsiders. Apparently he thought I was trying to sell the idea for a profit, which I wasn't.  I never even expected a response. I just got the idea in my head, thought it was funny, and thought I'd share it. Anyway it was nice of him to answer.

    I think Saddam would bring back that East German spirit, so sorely lacking in today's Olympics.

    And you just know that the athletes from Israel (not to mention the Jewish people from dozens of other countries) would really be looking forward to the red carpet treatment they would receive in Baghdad.




    The Real Blonde is a too-clever film about the superficial nature of showbiz. I thought it was supposed to be a comedy, and I kept waiting for the laughs, but they never came.

    The Art of Murder is a watchable but mediocre straight-to-vid murder mystery with the usual double-crosses, red herrings, and deceptions. I would have felt at least lukewarm about it if the sex scene had been handled with a little class, but it was an obvious body double, and not a very good one (the double was 20 years younger than Joanna Pacula, with a completely different body shape, and different nail polish!). Even with the body double, I might have enjoyed watching the sex, but it was unimaginative and in poor light as well.

    The Stendhal Syndrome was a moderately successful Dario Argento film, which I can best describe as an Italian splatter version of Hitchcock. Female police officer is repeatedly raped by the killer she's stalking. After he dies, she puts on a wig and assumes his identity. Or does she?  The film is rather remarkable in that it contains several graphic rapes, including a bondage rape, but not one shred of nudity. The rapist has his victims spreadeagled fully dressed. I guess Dario wasn't sure how to handle this, because the police detective was his own daughter, Asia. What does the damn title mean? Too long to explain. Very Hitchcockesque. You'll have to read the full review.

    Tunnel Vision is a sketch comedy film ala Amazon Women or Groove Tube. Unfortunately, it was not an exceptionally good one, despite a cast which included many of the original SCTV and SNL cast. (Chevy, Larraine, Count Floyd, John Candy, and more). The best parts of the film, for me, were future hotshot director Betty Thomas (Private Parts) jumping up and down for five minutes in pasties and a thong, and future hotshot editor Dody Dorn (Memento) stark naked, playing a really hot archbishop.


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    "Last Stand" is a lame sci-fi/actioner with a spice of women-in-prison thrown in for good luck. However, the sci-fi effects are mega-low budget, the action is basically an abundance of bullets, and the women-in-prison part bites because of the lack of nudity!

    I won't even bother going into the plot because there is no reason to watch this movie. The script is bad, 90% of the acting is bad, the action is bad, and as I mentioned before, there's not enough T&A. Plus, it doesn't even fall into the "so bad it's good" category. You're better off having that long overdue root canal.

    The 'caps...
    Horrible. I've never been a master capper, but at least I know these bite because of the source, not because of my lack of vidcapping skills. Breasts only, and the scenes are all very brief.

    A little trivia...
    While watching the credits, I saw a name that Fun House readers may recognize....grade-Z director Tony Zarindast! In this movie he has a credit as "LA Casting Director". We of course know him best from his two masterpieces of modern cinema...Hardcase and Fist and Arizona Werewolf! (the links take you to Scoop's reviews)

    • Kate Rodger (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Unknowns (1, 2)


    We kick off "The Abductors" series with a 1972 flick that was part of the "Ginger" series of movies starring Cheri Caffaro. This movie (a cult favorite) is chock full of nudity and Babes in Bondage. Our opening set of caps features the opening scenes of the movie with an unknown buxom blonde in peril and scenes of 3 unknown teenagers being abducted to be used in a white slavery ring. Actually the one in blue panties (links 7,8 and 9)is believed to be Jeramie Rains (once married to Richard Dreyfuss).

    • Unknown topless babes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Jack Snow
    Some new Euro-nudity from German TV
    • Alexandra Maria Lara, very brief nipple sighting in scenes from "Luftpiraten - 113 Passagiere in Todesangst" (2000).
    • Anja Freese, topless, also in scenes from "Luftpiraten - 113 Passagiere in Todesangst".
    • Nadja Uhl, frontal nudity from "Polizeiruf 110 - Kleine Dealer, große Träume" (1995)

    Once again the master of fashion scans strikes! I have about 100 new scans on the hard drive that I'll post over the next few days. No nudity in today's batch, but collectors and fans of the supermodels will enjoy Blackshine's usual, excellent quality.

    Estella Warren Topless paparazzi pic from the French magazine Voici.

    Kate Hudson Brief breast peek in a love scene from "About Adam"

    Christina Cox and Karyn Dwyer
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Lesbian bodypainting in scenes from "Better Than Chocolate" (1999).

    Lauren Holly
    (1, 2)

    Not exactly nudity, but I've never seen these before. Here she is getting felt up (over her clothes) in scenes from "Money Kings" aka "Vig" (1998). Thanks to Icicle.

    Celeb News
    Hey Scoop,

    I'm sure that you have heard the tremendous news by now...the next issue of the Bunny Mag will feature an all nude spread of Kiana Tom! Kiana, as you know, is a fitness guru and host of many workout shows on ESPN (Bodyshaping and Kiana's Flex Appeal). She also had a small roll in Van Damm's Universal Solider II. I know that you cannot post pics from the rabbit, but any additional news about the layout would be awesome!