Loaded (1994) is an New Zealand movie about a bunch of students making a zero budget horror movie. They are on location at a home owned by one of their aunts, and none of them are very stable. Much is made about Catherine McCormack's character being a virgin for some reason I could never figure out. Then they finish the filming, and decide to all drop acid so as to not waste time and film. After that, it is anybody's guess what did and didn't really happen, what was hallucination, etc.
Berardinelli liked the atmosphere but had few good words for the story or the characterizations, and awarded 2 1/2 stars. IMDb readers have it at 4.6 of 10. McCormack shows breasts twice, once changing after she gets out of the pool, and the second time in bed. Biddi Hodson shows her left breast in a short but boring sex scene. I didn't like a single moment of this hard to follow snooze-fest with a lot of grainy B & W footage and pretentious faux meaningful dialogue. D+
Suburbia (1984) is a teensploitation film about punk rockers written and directed by Penelope Spheeris, who went on to do Wayne's World. This was her first feature film, and she wrote and directed. IMDb lists it erroneously as Rebel Streets. Roger Corman, who financed half the film, was afraid that a multi-syllabic word like suburbia was beyond the target audience, and test marketed the title Rebel Streets. Base don the results, the film continued to be known as Suburbia.
The film was shot mostly in a condemned housing tract in L. A. County using real punk rockers as cast. We have a crash pad used by the rejected teens in an area overrun by feral dogs. IN the opening scene, Jennifer Clay is hitchhiking away from home due to sexual abuse and beatings from her father. She catches a ride with a mother and young daughter, and they have a flat. While calling from a phone booth, the daughter is killed by one of the feral dogs. In the next scene, we meet the gang at a concert, where they strip the clothes off of Julie Winchester, then head back to the pad. Their sworn enemies are a vigilante groups of unemployed rednecks whom we first see shooting the dogs from a pickup truck. Jennifer Clay has a love affair with another of the kids, but ends up self-destructing, and the film ends on another tragedy.
Clay shows breasts when the rednecks strip her to "send a message," Suzann Shott, as a stripper shows breasts, and Julie Winchester shows everything when she is stripped in the club. This is praised as a gritty but accurate look at the realities of the punk scene, including why they are there, with a real authenticity. Spheeris says much of it is autobiographical, and is very happy with the results of the film. I could do entirely without punk rock, but could appreciate how well she presented the scene. The transfer is a weak 4/3 from what was probably never a very crisp original. This is a C-, but a must see for those interested in the punk scene.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
follow-up on Loaded (see above) :
Tuna took a good dump on Loaded, but I can assure
you that his comments are, in fact, quite generous.
But I don't want to talk about that.
I want to comment on the blatant cynicism of the
marketing on the DVD box. It says that the film is from the
"highly-acclaimed director Anna Campion". This is obviously meant to
trick people into thinking that the film was directed by Anna's
sister, Jane, who is one of the three women ever to be nominated for
the best director Oscar. (Jane Campion, Lina Wertmuller, Sofia
Anna, on the other hand, has directed exactly one
full-length movie: Loaded. And I doubt if that was too highly
acclaimed, since it is a bomb of nuclear proportions, and a deadly
combination of pretension and incompetence.
There is mostly bad news about the new DVD of Croupier.
- It is dark
- It has no features at all
- The transfer is mediocre
- The widescreen version is letterboxed, not anamorphically
That's still a slight improvement over the previous Canadian
import DVD, which had no widescreen version, and was even darker
than this one.
It's a shame that we can't get a bit more out of this, because
this is a pretty cool little cult film that lifted Clive Owen (at
least temporarily) into prominence as a future James Bond candidate.
It's kind of a nifty little turnabout in the voiceover-and-saxophone
genre in which the loner with integrity gets conned, but the whole
experience just prepares him for even world-wearier sololiquies in
the future. In fact this guy is so world-weary that he makes Stephen
Rea look as enthusiastic as Mike the Sweater Guy from those Amazing
One of Croupy's voice-overs:
"The world breaks
everyone. And afterwards, many are strong at the broken places. Those
that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good and the very
gentle and the very brave, impartially. If you are none of these
things it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry."
Miscellaneous .wmv file
Martha's conviction drops her net worth by $85 Million:
"The jury's guilty verdict deprived Martha Stewart both of her
credibility and approximately $85 million. When she woke up this
morning Stewart was worth about $420 million. When she goes to
sleep tonight--assuming she can sleep--her net worth will be
around $335 million. Her fortunes aren't likely to improve upon
the market's opening next week. "
Bettor wins $1.3 million; Net casino won't pay.
Infallible prediction system says Bush will get more votes in
November. Professor Lichtman's 13 keys work
retroactively for every Presidential election in American history,
but it predicts only the popular vote. Of course, getting more
votes does not guarantee assuming the Presidency, as Al Gore can
Ken Venturi's book to claim that Arnie cheated in the 1958 Masters.
Liza Minelli's wedding photo
Lots more Chronicles of Riddick news
- On Monday, March 15, in a first-ever motion picture and
USA Network will debut- in its complete, uncut entirety - the
intense opening 10-minute sequence from the upcoming zombie horror
film Dawn of the Dead
Will Kidman appear in The Chronicles of Narnia?
The ancient Japanese art of log-catching.
Bill Pullman has joined NBC apocalyptic thriller 'Revelations' in
the limited-run series' leading male role, while Natascha McElhone
has taken the female lead.
USATODAY's Trend Mill. What's hot, what's not. The big
surprise? HOT: getting news from RSS readers. NOT: USA Today
Beagle.J mass mailing worm
Streisand tries to welch on court mandates following her
ill-conceived nuisance suit against environmental researchers.
The Stax Report: a Script Review of Batman Begins!
download clips from your favorite old TV shows.
Ergonomic keyboard for pirates.
The Daily Show reports that we should tread carefully, for the day
is nigh when the armies of Rove will come alive.
The Daily Show reports on the new Iraqi constitution, and its
impact on the election.
- New uncut r-rated trailer for
The Girl Next Door.
Warning: this trailer includes topless strippers and plenty of sex
jokes, as all trailers should, possibly excluding Schindler's
And the award for the best award...
Senior citizens brawl after salad bar dispute. They
must be regretting their decision to let Mickey Rourke retire
- Did you read the story about the crazy school board hearing in
St Louis with the water-throwing? The best line in the story:
"Moore also said she would use violence against anyone who
challenged her mental fitness." Fair enough. No reason
for anyone to think that might be nuts. In Thursday's interview,
Moore said her mental capacity was not an issue. "From this day
forward, anyone who brings that up, I am getting violent" . And if
anyone accuses her of irrational violent behavior, she's going to
kick the shit out of him.
North Korea endorses Kerry. Kerry responded that the
Korean support didn't bother him, but he fervently hoped to avoid
the Gore endorsement.
And now for the naked truth - Hong Kong joins Canada and Russia
with "naked news"
Some polls show Nader support as high as 6%.
Attorney General Ashcroft in intensive care. Doctors
commented that even though the problem is normally fatal, they
aren't concerned because Ashcroft's contract with Satan mandates a
Bonds, fiercely denying steroid use, hurls car at reporter.
"The car-throwing episode came on the heels of a troubling
incident involving Mr. Bonds the day before, in which the angry
outfielder, dogged by questions about steroids, uprooted a mighty
oak tree with his bare hands and snapped it in two over his knee.
Fearing more destruction in the wake of the Sentra incident, the
Arizona National Guard were summoned to subdue the volatile
all-star, but Mr. Bonds responded by bending the 120-millimeter
gun turret atop one of the Guard’s armored vehicles until it
resembled a pretzel."
Bryan Singer will direct a Logan's Run remake before tackling X-3.
- Too weird, but remarakbly civilized.
Bruce Willis to be Kutcher's best man at Demi wedding?
Ya gotta see dis. Check out the Mouseketeer's performing outfit.
Overcrowding in Hell forces the Church to absolve masturbators.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Cookies!
Martha Stewart guilty on all four counts. She responded
officially on her website www.marthatalks.com.
Howard Stern says the end of his career is close
Janet Jackson to Host NBC's 'Saturday Night Live'
Totally Unreel - Hundreds of Movies - none of them real
Three Kings and a Baby, Saving Private Benjamin, and more.
Monster and Cold Mountain are put on the fast track to DVD
Air Force One phone records subpoenaed. Grand jury to
review call logs from Bush’s jet in probe of how a CIA agent’s
cover was blown.
- A new official site for
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
- Oh, those wacky Germans -
EROTISCHE FRUECHTCHEN (Various cutesy erotic fruits)
The Victoria's Secret fashion show.
The Daily Show reports on Kerry's triumph on Super Tuesday.
- A new trailer for the "Brad Pitt as Achilles" movie -
- A new trailer for the multi-zillion dollar epic disaster
The Day After Tomorrow.
- Dreamworks has opened up an official site for
ANCHORMAN, the new Will Farrell movie.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
This would be a cute scene if they had used a few
more lightbulbs, but I'm glad Shiloh rustled it up for us, dark or
not. It will probably result in some nice DVD captures in a few
months. Jordan Ladd in Club Dread. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
There is a strategy to several movies I've looked at
recently. It goes like this: "If you can't try to be
good, try to be funny." Put another way, if a lack of
talent, the genetic absence of creativity gets in your
way, pretend it's all about the yuks and maybe you can
fool some folks.
Which brings me to Slumber Party Massacre II (1987).
Girls get together, guys follow, a demonic killer with
a drill at the end of his electric guitar (?!) kills
them. Most of them, at least. Maybe all of them.
Every convention of splatter/horror films is obeyed in
this mess. She who wrote and directed it (Deborah
Brock) has apparently had not one original thought in
her head...ever. Remember what Johnny Carson said
about Chevy Chase? That he couldn't ad lib a fart at
a baked bean dinner? Well, Ms. Brock wouldn't have
thought of farting until five other people did it
first. Even the attempt to disquise the terminal lack
of quality with a wink and a nod wasn't new by 1987.
And so the good folks down at IMDb give it a rousing
2.8/10. Think for a minute. If someone described a
potential date as not even a 3, and it was the
considered judgement of over 250 people, would you go
out with her?
A quick word about home repairs... it may be relevant.
Ever tried to drill something that was not tacked
down tightly or held in place securely? Couldn't do
it, could you? Mofo kept slipping, didn't it? So
what are the odds of a bozo with a drill at the end of
his guitar (?!) killing people who, by all
impressions, are perfectly motile creatures? Not very
high. 'Less, of course, the people sit stock-still
and let the driller have at it. There you have the
essence of Slumber Party Massacre II.
Three women of note in the movie. One gives up the
goodies. That would be former US Olympic gymnast
Juliette Cummins, in what was the signature
performance of her career... getting naked in a horror
movie. Well, topless at least. Rips off her top in a
slumber party dance. Very nice. I really like
Crystal Bernard plays the main character three years
before she performed in Wings. It is a wonder, an
absolute miracle on a par with Henry V's victory at
Agincourt that she ever worked again. Take a look at
the second collage. She is rapturously holding the
picture of a boy and making sick little goo-goo
noises. Now, I know she didn't write the damn scene
and I know she didn't direct the damn scene but she
did 'act' in it and for that reason alone she should
have been banned from stage and screen. Permanently.
Honestly, this was a more painful thing to watch than
the Luke-Leia bridge scene in Return of the Jedi.
Even more painful than any part of Phantom Menace. It
was just that bad.
Crystal does not get anywhere near nekkid. Some
pokies in the first collage, some cleavage in the
second. It wasn't enough to make up for The Scene
But then, she could have gotten down on all fours and
wiggled her nekkid butt at the camera for fifteen
minutes and it would not have made up for The Scene.
Kimberly McArthur, former Hefmate who had done one
nude scene after another prior to this movie, wears a
real nice bikini, does the pokey-pokey, but otherwise
keeps the vital parts covered. I'm figuring this was
her decision. No more bare hooters. So, bit parts in
two TV movies and a short stint on a soap opera later
and poof she was gone. As my coach used to say, If'n
you're gonna stay at the party you gotta dance with
the gal what brung ya. Or, in this case, the twins
what brung ya.
I am a Juliette Cummins fan. She was cute and she got
nekkid. That makes me a fan. But even then, even
after she does a first-rate topless dance that I
really wouldn't have wanted to miss, I could have gone
my whole life without seeing Slumber Party Massacre II
and I would have been happier for it.
- Crystal Bernard
- Juliette Cummins
- Kimberly McArthur
Today the Ghost takes a look at the Jim Wynorski western, "Hard Bounty". When Jim's name is on the box you know two things...1)low-budget 2)nekkid women. In Jim We Trust.
- Rochelle Swanson showing off her big'uns.
- .wms of Rochelle Swanson's sex scenes
- Kimberly Kelley topless
- Kimberly Kelley .wmv
- Rochelle Swanson and Kimberly Kelley both opening their shirts before they deflower a dude.
- Rochelle Swanson and Kimberly Kelley .wmv
- Felicity Waterman, in bed, but no goodies.
- Kelley LeBrock showing a little cleavage.
- LeBrock, Kelley and Swanson in western wear. Kelley shows the most cleavage.
|Davis...the writer, director, producer, editor and star of "Amy's Orgasm" (2001). Here she is showing a partial breast view.
|Toplessness and thong views in scenes from the made for cable movie, "Undefeated" (2003), written by, directed by and starring John Leguizamo. You may have also seen her on the FOX series "24", and she'll be on the big screen this summer in "Spider-Man 2".
|Showing off an excellent chest in scenes from an episode of the made for cable series "The Wire".
||Topless in another episode of "The Wire".
||More made for cable goodies. Gallo takes her shirt off for an episode of the HBO series "Carnivàle".
|Yup, you guessed it, 'caps from yet another made for cable series. This time we see all 3 ladies are topless in sex scenes from "Street Time".
||The Shagadelic Liz sucking on an ice cube, and showing off her wonderful breasts in scenes from "The Weight of Water".
||The Skinemax regular shows all 3 B's (and wears a cheeleader outfit) in scenes from "Cheerleader Ninjas" (2002).
|Flauti takes a look at the made for cable flick "Rated X" (2000), starring Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez (who also directed). It's a biopic about the Mitchell brothers, the porn pioneers who gave us "Behind the Green Door" (1972). LeBlanc plays a nekkid hippie, Hutson is topless as Marilyn Chambers.
||Brief nipple sighting in 'caps by Marvin from the fist episode of a new Norwegian TV series called "Seks som oss" ('Six like us').
|Cosma Shiva Hagen
|Señor Skin 'caps of Hagen topless in a shower scene and in a bedroom scene from the German movie "Rosa Roth - Die Abrechnung".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL JACKSON WANTS HIS BOOK OF NOSES BACK
He Always Had His Nose In A Book - Michael Jackson is trying to buy
thousands of family items obtained by a US businessman who paid off the
Jacksons' unpaid warehouse storage bill, then sold it all to a European
collector. The huge collection includes Michael's early stage costumes,
gold records, family photos, a contract for a nose job, and Michael's own
sketches, which include his portraits of a little boy, Charlie Chaplin, and
an entire book of sketches of noses.
Each getting progressively smaller.
Or as Michael calls it, his "Wish Book."
He has to get the portrait of the little boy back so he can quickly draw
some clothes on him.
The contract was with "Nose Jobs R Us."
How is Michael going to buy all this back when he couldn't even pay the
REALITY VERSION OF "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND"
No Survivors - The TBS cable channel is shooting a reality version of
"Gilligan's Island." The show will follow what happens when a real-life
skipper, first mate, millionaire couple, movie star, farm girl and
professor are put on an island and compete to get off.
The men compete to get off with the movie star and the farm girl.
The farm girl: Paris Hilton.
If "Gilligan's Island" were reality, Gilligan would've been strangled by
the second week.
If it's anything like "Survivor," let's pray that the movie star walks
around naked, and not the skipper.
The loser has to spend the rest of his life in syndication.
PEOPLE WILL BORROW MONEY FOR PLASTIC SURGERY
They'll Garner More Interest - A survey by Abbey Bank found that almost one
in 10 people in Britain want or have already had plastic surgery. Women
most want breast enlargements, while men want nose jobs. Of most interest
to the bank, nearly a quarter of those wanting to go under the knife were
willing to spend up to 20,000 pounds ($36,500 US) to look young and
attractive, and the same percentage would happily borrow money from the
bank to do it.
Or from their kids' college fund.
They hope to turn out attractive enough to marry somebody rich.
Most of them need to spend that much just for the dental work.
Unfortunately, by the time it's paid off, you'll be old and ugly again.
KINKY FOR GOVERNOR
They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Kinky Anymore - Irreverent musician/author
Kinky Friedman of the Texas Jewboys band announced his independent
candidacy for governor of Texas, under the slogan, "Why the hell not?"
Inspired by Arnold Schwarzenegger, he said he's serious and plans to be
honest and "fight the wussification of the state of Texas." If elected, he
promises to start a Texas Peace Corps, allow nondenominational school
prayer and abolish killing of animals in shelters. He also said, "I will
not kiss babies. I'll kiss their mothers" and "I am not pro-life, I am not
pro-choice, I am pro football."
In Texas, being pro football could be enough for him to win.
He's not pro-life, except for dogs and cats.
He'll get lots of votes, as long as his "no-execution" policy applies to
Is it too late for the Democrats to nominate him for president instead
of John Kerry?