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"All the Right Moves"

All the Right Moves (1983) stars Tom Cruise right after Risky Business and before his First major success in Top Gun. It is an oddly named coming of age with Cruise playing a rather cocky football player in a small Pennsylvania mill town who hopes to trade his football skill for an education, so he can escape the dreary go nowhere town. He also hopes to bed his girlfriend, Lea Thompson. He spends most of the film making all of the wrong moves. The highlight of the film was a sex scene where Thompson decides to give her virginity to Cruise. She shows all three Bs in what is a very tender and touching love scene. The Cruise missile is also seen in a few frames. The film does an excellent job of depicting just how depressing life is in a poor mill town. So good, that I was deeply depressed by the time the credits finished. Performances were good, everyone learns something, and we manage a happy ending.

The IMDB score of 5.7 of 10 pretty much echoes my feelings. Were it not for the sex scene, I would have regretted the time spent watching it. I did come away with an important lesson. When your coach, who is also hoping to escape the mill town loses the biggest game of the year by calling a stupid last play, telling him that in the locker room is not a career enhancing move. C-.

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  • Lea Thompson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    "Wicked Sins"

    Wicked Sins (2001) is yet another new soft-core. IMDB has yet to hear of it, and I suspect it is direct to vid. It is the familiar crime drama genre, where a female detective who has just ended an affair with her male partner must work with him on a double homicide. A photographer and his model/bedmate have been shot in the head. Several of the suspects also get naked, and we even get a liberal dose of evil twin. On the plus side, they kept the sex scenes short, preventing the usual boredom of endless, unimaginative in and out. With better acting, it might have been watchable.

    Yvette Faulkner shows all three Bs as the detective. Lorraine Spaughton, as the victim shows breasts and buns, as do Nadia Foster, Victoria Style and Goldie. This is a barely adequate genre effort. C-.

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  • Goldie (1, 2, 3)
  • Lorraine Spaughton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Nadia Foster (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Victoria Style (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Yvette Faulkner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    The Isabelle Huppert and Charlize Theron encyclopedia volumes have been updated, but the only additions are Tuna's capds from yesterday, so you are caught up if you have seen those.

    There are new Encyclopedia volumes for Amanda Donohoe, Christy Turlington,  and Kirsten Dunst


    All the Right Moves is one of four 1983 films that launched Tom Cruise to the big time. It's about a kid who needs a football scholarship to escape from his industrial town. It came very close to being an excellent movie, but was spoiled by some Hollywooding of what was fundamentally a good, honest script.

    The 80's were a special decade for nudity. This film was rated PG-13 despite frontal nudity from Lea Thompson, explicit teenage sex, and a look at Tom Cruise's dick! Ah, the good old days.

    • Lea Thompson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Helen Hunt
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Fantastic images of Hunt topless in "The Waterdance"!

    Sandra Oh
    (1, 2, 3)

    Excellent collages of Sandra topless in scenes from "Dancing at the Blue Iguana".

    Natalie Portman
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Familiar paparazzi pics of the young star topless at the beach. Zon did a great job editing these to 1024x768! Very nice desktop wallpaper for Portman fans.

    Kathy Ireland Another superb effort by Zon. I think this scan features the supermodel showing the most skin I've ever seen her reveal! She's only wearing a bikini bottom, and there is almost a full breast in plain sight (side view with everything but a nipple).

    "Exposure" (2000) is not a particulary good movie, but it isn't all that horrible either. If there's 12 feet of snow outside, you're recovering from surgery, or for whatever reason absolutley have to watch a movie, you could do worse.

    The plot:
    Nobody's hero, Ron Silver stars as a photographer haunted by the murder of his ex-wife. Naturally, one day a woman that reminds him of his wife shows up out of the blue. (At least they didn't use the same woman for this cliché!) She notices his portfolio of nude photographs and wants to pose for some. She's a hit on film, and gets a gig posing for a new men's mag. Now toss in a jealous ex-boyfriend, a love triangle or two (even though no one has sex), and someone killing off everyone involved with the photo shoot.

    As I said, not too terrible for a straight-to-vid movie. For the most part, the acting is competent, even though the plot is iffy in many places, there's not much in the suspence department.

    One of the more unusual tidbits....they try very hard to convice us that the story takes place in Oregon, even though it's filmed in New Zealand. Why? Lord only knows since it's not even remotely important to the plot. But they slap Oregon plates on all of the cars, and they stuck a very obvious and really cheap sign on the side of a building that reads "Portland Police". Yet they continuously show establishing shots that are obviously not Oregon. In fact one shot looks suspiciously like Southern California. But anyway...

    The Nudity:
    Cleary the best part of the movie. All of the goodies are from the nude photoshoots, and that means good lighting, artistic poses, and a very photogenic brunette!

    Alexandra Holden Playing a corpse on "6 Feet Under", although this is very likely a body double. As for the nudity, clear breast views and a near miss down south. For those don't know her by name (I didn't either until today) she played the anorexic former Miss Mount Rose in "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and the white trash daughter of the gun smuggler in the teen, cheerleader comedy "Sugar & Spice"

    Naomi Watts A very nice collage of bootleg images with Naomi topless in "Mulholland Dr.". Laura Harring can also be seen topless in the background.

    Heather Stephens
    (1, 2, 3)

    Non-nudes, but she looks great as a dominatrix in "Tomcats". Thanks to Deadlamb.

    Amy Smart Amy's lovely toplessness from "Road Trip" by Scanman.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    As always, Pat's comments in yellow...

    >From NY Post, Page Six.


    SO, you didn't know that supermodels Heidi Klum, Daniela Pestova, Elsa Benitez, Molly Sims, Eva Herzigova and Veronica Varekova had posed for Playboy? Well, neither did they.

    The curvy cuties all peeled down for Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue. But their pulse-quickening pictures - as well as some unpublished outtakes that were too steamy even for S.I. - have landed in Playboy's German edition after S.I. sold them to the skin mag.

    S.I. rep Rick McCabe says the models and their agents were consulted on the syndication deal, and that the magazine shares profits with them.

    "It's done on a contract basis," he says. "The models and their agents are consulted, and they get their share. We have written permission from people who represent the models. And we do consider what's within the realm of what's considered tasteful and where the girls would want their pictures to run."

    But some of the beauties' reps says that's not the case. "She was not consulted and she would not have agreed to this," fumed Klum's publicist.

    "Not to my knowledge," says Herzigova's agent, Bob Van Riper. "I'm going to try and find out what happened."

    The images didn't end up only in Germany. Curvy Czech beauty Varekova was said to be livid when her parents back home called to ask why she'd posed for Playboy's Czech edition. Worse, Varekova's swimsuit shots were interspersed with the most graphic close-up nude pictures, insinuating she'd modeled for both.

    "She was desperately trying to figure out how and who to sue," says one insider.

    "I'm very concerned," says Faith Kates, president of Varekova, Pestova and Sims' agency, Next Model Management. "We're working to get to the bottom of it in order to protect our talent."

    McCabe claims that, unlike in the case of German Playboy, the Czech edition "stole" the pictures. He denies that S.I. sold them, and insists no fees were paid. "We never wanted that to happen, but it was beyond our control."

    McCabe says that S.I. will continue to syndicate its pictures to Playboy and elsewhere under its present policy. "We've been assured all further usage will be approved by the models," says Klum's agent, Ivan Bart at IMG.

    As The Post reported, S.I. is already in Klum's bad graces for not putting her on the cover this year. She skipped the S.I.-MTV televised issue launch at the Hammerstein Ballroom, where models were forced to strut in their skimpy swimwear.

  • Anne Heche's publicist announced that Heche gave birth Saturday to a healthy baby boy she named Homer Heche Laffoon...Yep, she's still nuts...Isn't that child abuse?...That's a classy name on her home planet...She decided the other kids wouldn't tease him enough just because his mom is the world's most famous temporary lesbian.

    Saddam Can Be Javelin Catcher - The Washington Times reports that Saddam Hussein apparently hopes to land the 2012 Summer Olympics. The Iraqi Ministry of Education has hired a Jordan firm to solicit bids to build a 100,000-seat stadium and a 300-acre Olympic City in Baghdad. Iraq isn't much of an athletic power: they've won exactly one medal, a bronze for weightlifting in 1960. More recently, in the 2000 Sydney Paralympics for disabled athletes, their weightlifters were disqualified for using steroids.

    • Iraq has lots of disabled athletes, maybe because their athletic fields are all minefields.
    • All their weightlifters are disabled because every time they snatch a barbell, their hand is cut off.
    • Construction will be easy because all the land will be cleared and flattened by then.
    • New events at the Baghdad Olympics will include the bomb crater jump, the 500-meter flee, and synchronized surrendering.

    >From IMDB News. A cartoon version of Pamela Anderson? Isn't that redundant?...

    Pamela Anderson Gets Animated
    Pamela Anderson is set to release a cartoon version of herself, so that she can spend more time with her sons - and grow old in privacy. The former Baywatch stunner has enlisted the help of top cartoonists to create Striperella, and the 34-year-old sex bomb hopes her illustrated likeness will allow her to spend time with her sons Brandon, five, and Dylan, four - as well as laze around and lose her alluring looks. She says, "I love having a cartoon, because I can get old, wrinkly and fat and I can sit on a farm in Detroit - the cartoon lives forever. Stan Lee is doing the cartoon with me. He's the creator of Spider-Man and it's gonna be really fun." And Anderson hopes it will allow her to slow down work on her hit TV show V.I.P.. She explains, "They're speaking about long-term contracts, but I wanna rest and be with my kids."