"Stage Beauty"

Stage Beauty (2004) is a British film loosely based on a chapter of history. During the reign of Charles II, he made several changes to the theater, first reopening it after Puritan rule had shut it down, then lifting the ban on women performing on stage, and finally making it illegal for men to play women's rolls. This film deals with those events, and includes many real people and situations. However, strict historical accuracy was not the goal, and the film includes many things that would have happened 10s of years before or after the time the film takes place. Billy Crudup plays Edward 'Ned' Kynaston, the best of the female impersonators, and is wowing audiences as Desdemona in Othello. His dresser, Claire Danes, is clearly in love with him, and wants desperately to be an actress. It is her appearance in a tavern as Desdemona that causes Charles II (Rupert Everett) to lift the ban on women on stage. Her desire for Kynaston doesn't seem as promising, as he is having a homosexual relationship with a lord.

Kynaston suddenly finds himself unemployable. Dames is the flavor of the month, but performs her parts mimicking the performances of Kynaston. Finally, Kynaston is persuaded to tutor her. The triumphant ending scene is yet another performance of Othello, with Danes as Desdemona and Kynaston as Othello.

The film is not really a costumer or a historical reenactment, although sets and costumes were excellent. Rather, it is all about love, acting, and sexual identity. Dames shows her breasts, one in one scene, and one in another, and Zoe Tapper, as Charles II's mistress, shows her buns is a castle masque. Brilliant performances from all of the principles, and excellent editing brought this tale alive. IMDb readers have it at 7.1 of 10. It did a disappointing $777K in the US reaching 78 screens in it's best week. I enjoyed every moment of it. C+

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  • Claire Danes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Zoe Tapper (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • Charlie's site was updated yet again.


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
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    Jr's Polls
    To help keep the Oscar talk going for just a few more days, here is this week's poll...
    Best Oscar Winning Nude Performance

    Of the Best Actress Winners who showed nudity in their award winning roles, who gave the best nude performance? I think I've included every actress to show Oscar some skin. If I missed anyone, let me know.

    There are a couple on the list that push the definition of nudity, (Hunt's scenes were see-thru and partial, MacLaine's was nudity was very brief, and Christie's was rear only) but it's my poll, so ppphhhtttt :-p

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

    Best All Time Television Comedy

    Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from theGhost....

    First up, part 2 of his salute to Skinemax babe Ashley Rhey. This batch features 'caps and vids of Rhey baring all and gettin' it on in scenes from her most recent movie "Deviant Vixens 2" (2002).

    Next up, a few assorted video clips. zipped .wmv's as usual

    • Unknown nekkid servant girls bathing Eddie Murphy in scenes from "Coming to America" (1988).

    • B-movie regular Griffin Drew showing off her robo-big'uns and keeping the van a-rockin' in scenes from "Recoil" (1997).

    • Sylvia Kristel, the Dutch actress and original "Emmanuelle" going topless in a scene from the 1981 movie "Private Lessons".

    • Assorted nekkid babes in a shower scene from the 1990 comedy "Nuns on the Run", starring Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane (better known as Hagrid from the "Harry Potter" movies) (1, 2)

    • Pam Grier showing off her glorious big'uns in scenes from the 1974 Blacksploitation classic, "Foxy Brown". (1, 2, 3) According to the IMDb, Hall Berry is attached to a remake, but so far there are no other details.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Silent Warnings"
    This bad/good Sci-Fi movie from 2003, direct to video, which has appeared several times on the Sci-Fi channel, will appeal mainly to lovers of alien invasion movies, and not many others.

    After a drunken binge, a farmer dies when his truck catches fire, leaving the farm to his college-student cousin. When the cousin and several friends come to the farm to fix it up and sell it, they discover there's a reason for the farmer's drunkenness: the farm is being invaded by aliens.

    This effort has all the expected B-movie flaws: lame script, hokey plot, some bad acting in spots, its all there. Even so, the special effects are OK and the aliens aren't bad, Michelle Borth and Kim Onasch give us a nice if brief show (but not on Sci-Fi, of course), and its kind of fun. Just don't expect too much.

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27

    Sandra Reinton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Flautista 'caps of both ladies topless in scenes from the multi-Oscar winning movie "Shakespeare in Love".

    Hilary Swank
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Fantastic, high quality pics from the red carpet featuring Swank in her backless Oscar dress.

    Holly Hunter
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Hunter nekkid in scenes from the 1993 movie "The Piano". Hunter won the Best Actress Oscar for this performance.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    "Take, Eat...This Is My Body" - Thursday, Michael Jackson's jury was treated to a police video tour of his home, Neverland. Among the decor: various mannequins of young boys, one sitting on a throne with his legs in the air; statues of half-naked cherubs; a model of Gollum; a painting of "The Last Supper" with Michael in it; and cardboard cut-outs of movie stars and of two children kissing. There's also the "Toy Room," which is filled with life-size "Star Wars" characters, and the "Doll Room," which is filled with dolls of all sizes, including a Boy Scout on a pedestal, with a four-poster bed and cot in the middle.

  • The cot was in case any of Michael's guests brought his sister.
  • Michael puts Boy Scouts on a pedestal because he's always dreamed of being a Scoutmaster.
  • And of course, the Plastic Surgery Room...
  • The defense plans to argue that Michael is much too insane to be a pedophile.
  • In the "Last Supper" painting, everyone is drinking wine out of Coke cans.

    If He Can Make It There... - Wednesday, Mike Tyson made his singing debut at the Sanremo music festival in Italy. Feminists protested his $70,000 paid appearance at the televised, family-oriented show, but Tyson said he's "not just a boxer," he's also an "alchemist": "I take money and turn it into caca." Tyson sang a few bars of "Volare," then looked uncomfortable when the host called him a "beautiful person" and pushed the host's hand off his knee. He finished by rapping a little of "New York, New York" before abruptly saying, "I gotta get out of here."

  • He needed a more appropriate song, like, "Hey, Look Me Over, Lend Me An Ear."
  • The last time he looked that uncomfortable on TV, he was sitting between Oprah and Robin Givens.
  • If he needs money, how about a fight between him and Simon Cowell? EVERYONE would pay to see that!

    World's Coolest Mom - Mary Diane Bollinger of Avoca, New York, was arrested for allegedly hosting parties during which teens as young as 14 were served lots of alcoholic drinks, and then videotaped one another performing sex acts. Bollinger was the only person over 21, and apparently did some of the filming. But she claims the parties were a learning experience: she wanted to provide a safe place to teach her daughter a lesson about what can happen when you drink irresponsibly and succumb to peer pressure.

  • You end up letting a bunch of teenagers have sex in your house and go to jail.
  • What happens? You become the most popular girl at school!
  • With parents like these, who needs peers?
  • It WAS a learning experience: mom learned what the inside of a jail smells like.