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Homage (1996) is a story about a widow, the rather strange young PhD who comes to work for her as a farm hand, and her daughter, recovering addict, and star of a TV sitcom. The film begins with the young PhD killing the daughter, Sheryl Lee, and cuts forward and back in time to tell what led up to the death, and what happens after he is caught. Call this a character driven drama about a stalker. Performances were good, as was character development, but I think a linear approach to the time line would have added some needed suspense. Lee wears a partially transparent blouse which gives a clear view of her nipples, and is show bare breasted on a TV screen. IMDB readers say 5.4 of 10, critics fall between 2 1/2 and 3 stars. and I give it a C.

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  • Sheryl Lee (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "3 A.M."

    3 A.M. (1975) is a hard-core from the golden age, featuring a then 39 year old Georgina Spelvin of Devil in Miss Jones fame. Somewhat lesser known Sharon Thorpe, and relatively unknown Claire Dia and one time wonder Rhonda Gellard also have major roles. Spelvin lives with her sister and family in a beach house. When her sister and her husband have a fight at 3 A.M. one morning after sex, Spelvin meets the husband on his boat for sex, as has happened many times before. This time, she tries to convince him to run away with her. He makes it clear that won't happen, so she knocks him over the side with a Champagne bottle, and he is never seen again. Spelvin has sex with a random female visitor, and with her niece, Gellard. Her nephew has sex with next door neighbor Thorpe, and Dia as Spelvin's sister has sex with her husband.

    As in many hard-core films from this era, it is in terrible shape, and is hard to work with. Film preservation never hit the adult industry, and distribution of the DVD versions is not wide enough to justify spending a lot on remastering. This is one of the weaker plots from the golden era, but does have some sex scenes with no money shots. With a genre of golden age classic porn, this one is a C-.

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  • Claire Dia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Georgina Spelvin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Rhonda Gellard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Sharon Thorpe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    I went through the gallery for We Were Soldiers. No nudity, but these pictures of Jennifer Grey came sorta close, and the third one is worth looking at. I didn't remember her looking like that, chest and all. Their site also has some grammy pics, if you are interested.


    Lady in Blue

    Weak softcore. Weak on plot, equally weak on exposure. Not very titillating, with no element sufficient to carry it. Attempts humor, and succeeds sporadically, but doesn't really have a strong enough cast to handle the gags. Might be sorta OK, but a miserable DVD transfer puts it below the line.


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Top Stories
    Heather Graham
    (1, 2)

    Topless in scenes from her new movie "Killing Me Softly". We ran some bootlegs from this flick back in December, before the movie opened. I'm not sure but I think it as has already come and gone. It was set for a January 18 release, but it never made it to my local Cineplex.

    Jennifer Lopez Showing...well, something. This is a larger version of a pic we ran a week or so ago. The story...apparently a Euro-TV station caught J-Lo's skirt riding all the way up to reveal whatever it is we see here. Some say she's not wearing any undies, but we just don't know.

    Fashion models. Dozens of em. A few you know, a few you don't. But here they are.

    Adriana Giotta may not be a fashion model but she stripped down to her birthday suit for a fashion magazine and that's good enough for me. All B & W shots, and you could say that all three B's are visible except for one thing: thanks to ber Lady Schick, Adriana has no bush (see link #3).

    • Adriana Giotta (1, 2, 3)

    Alina Locklear in a pair of B & W scans, full frontal variety with one hand slightly obscuring the lower goodies.

    Almudena Fernandez topless and wearing a thong. These were parts of an editorial with two other babes who used only their first names.

    Amanda Brown half-topless (or would that be half topfull) and in a see-through... finally in living color.

    Amanda Johnson in two views of a perfectly endomorphic body reclining on a black background. First scan has her killer bum in plain view, the second her rather nice pair of hooties.

    • Amanda Johnson (1, 2)

    The well-known and amazingly beautiful Ana Beatriz Barros in a terrific see-through. I love it when magazines come in with Ana on the cover, cuz you can be just about dead certain there is going to be at least one first-class, Funhouse-appropriate picture of her in there somewhere.

    Ana Carolina Hilleck in a weird picture of her in panties only; the picture, itself, was on the small side so the scan is not the best.

    Bonnie Parkins in four views, wearing wet diaphonous garments.

    • Bonnie Parkins (1, 2, 3)

    Bridget Hall in a mild set of pokies, but I loved the picture and was pleased with the scan.

    Camelia Clouse in a see-through view of one mini-hooter.

    Carla Collada in three sets of pictures. The first is a teaser, the best things I could find of her in about a year's worth of magazines, but links 2 and 3, we have the lovely Carla all nekkid and everything. This woman has Shannon Elizabeth eyes but a much more attractive face and a naturally beautiful body. Think of her as Shannon, version 10.0.

    • Carla Collada (1, 2, 3)

    Carole Naville in what seems to be the theme for the day: a see-through sweater-type thing that would not keep her warm anywhere outside the equator.

    Cheryl Serwa with a strange hairdo and a side view of looks to be an impressive chest.

    Christele Cervelle in two scans: in the first she is blue, and I do not mean sad, and in the second she gives us a good view of one B... or what amounts to one B for her.

    • Christele Cervelle (1, 2)

    Finally, someone we all know, Christy Turlington in a collage that has two really, really nice pokie scans. Trust me on this one: you will want to see what CT is wearing.

    Danielle Zinaich with pieces of clothing falling off but the goodies stay hidden.

    Diana Kolvalchuk in a mild pokie that wouldn't have been included except that this is one major babe.

    Emily Booth is no fashion model but she looks positively luminous in lingerie. We got your see-through and your almost nekkid bum pictures.

    • Emily Booth (1, 2, 3)

    Finally, Estefania Luyck in a couple of see-through thingees; with a little luyck we should be seeing more of Estefania wearing less.

    Okay. let's shift frames to newswire and paparazzi pics, starting with that Olympic exhibition of artistic talent and fashion sense known as figure skating. You know, there was a time not so long ago that skaters damn well had to skate figures, and if they went outside the lines, sorta like we all did with crayons back in the 1st grade, they lost points. Not very exciting but it was objective. Anyway, the Mrs captured me for a few minutes during Sarah Hughes performance and what I noticed was not her grace, not her skill but her bum, out there for everyone to see. Sho' 'nuff, the newswires carried a picture or two appropriate for this forum... first of the lovely Ms. Hughes, then of the Russian skater Irina Slutskaya (with a name like that she should skate in a halter top and a pair of denim shorts, cut off to her crotch) and finally of Swiss skater Sarah Meier.

    Next is German actress Angela Schijf, with one mini-hootie peaking out.


    Nell McAndrew lets the twins escape, which is hardly unusual in her case.

    Let's finish up things with some paparazzi pics of British actress Cat Deely and Martine McCutcheon, presented in this case to illustrate a perverse law of nature. Call it Brainscan's first law: the smaller the hooters, the easier it is to get a good look at them. Cat is wearing a moderately low-cut dress but because she is built like the first girl any of us went out with, you can see clearly what she brings to the table. Martine, on the other hand, has a dress cut down to her bellybutton, but because she is built like no one any of us has EVER gone out with, you get cleavage and nuttin' else. Sigh.

    "Bad Blood" (1994) aka "Viper" is another Lorenzo Lamas vehicle where he beds several starlets.

    Nudity is as follows:

    The final installment of Hankster's coverage of the Andy Sidaris classi, "Malibu Express".
    • Barbara Edwards, the former Hefperson topless in #1, and sharing the shower with fellow Hefperson, Kimberly McArthur in #2.
      (1, 2)

    • Lynda Wiesmeier, yup, yet another Hef babe baring her big'uns. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Suzanne Regard, also topless.

    • Sybil Danning, more bikini 'caps but no goodies are revealed.

    Thanks go out to Mr. Skin for coming up with these rare finds. The Chen and Kinski images are better versions of images we've posted before. The Patitz is all new to us.

    • Joan Chen, side breast view with a nipple sighting from "The Hunted", starring Fun House hero, Christopher Lambert.

    • Tatjana Patitz, very brief breast exposure in scenes from "Restraining Order" (starring another Fun House hero, Eric Roberts!). I think this is the only screen nudity she has done besides "Rising Sun" (1993).

    • A very young Nastassja Kinski (18) topless in scenes from "Tatort - Reifezeugnis" (1977). (1, 2, 3)

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire

    Douglas And Zeta-Jones Get Sexy Help From Cattrall
    Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones have become the latest stars to get a sexual boost from alluring actress Kim Cattrall. Douglas recently flew into Toronto to visit his beautiful wife, who was in Canada shooting her new movie Chicago. While there, he learned that Sex And The City bombshell Kim was in town signing copies of her new sex manual, Satisfaction: The Art Of The Female Orgasm. The star drove over and had Kim autograph and copy for Catherine - who is a huge Sex And The City fan. Kim recommended that he get one himself too, explaining it can help men just as much as women. He took her advice - and then picked up a dozen more copies for pals.

    Also in the news...

    March 2, 2002 -- Miss Long Island has relinquished her crown after revelations that she posed in Playboy magazine.

    Jill Nicolini, of Farmingville, won the Miss Long Island pageant on Feb. 3, and was to represent the island in the Miss New York pageant in June.

    But she stepped down voluntarily Thursday after deciding the pageant's morality clause required her to forfeit her crown.

    "I'm saddened that I have to give up the title because I don't think there's anything wrong with posing in Playboy," Nicolini said.

    "It was art," she told The Post. "It's a beautiful thing. I'm very proud of it."

    She called the Miss Long Island title "a big honor."

    "But the rules and guidelines that go along with the title are outdated and too strict," Nicolini said.

    "The morality clause is too severe. Who's to say what's moral or not? We're living in the 21st century now. Beauty-pageant winners aren't poor innocent girls anymore."

    Nicolini appeared in Playboy last year under the stage name Jill Nikki.

    Joan Jones, director of the Miss New York pageant, said Nicolini was not forced to give up her crown.