"Seksmisja" aka "Sexmission"
Seksmisja (1984), or Sexmission, is a Comedy, Action, Sci Fi post apocalyptic film from Poland. Two men, one a reserved scientist, the other an opportunist wanting to gain fame and escape his wife and family, agree to go into hibernation for three years. They wake up to discover that many more than three years have gone by, that they are held prisoner by all the blondes in the world in a matriarchal society, and that they are the last men on earth. They gradually become aware that their masculinity, if not their lives, are in serious danger. The underground world is not without conflict, as the archeologists and the geneticists do not get along at all, and both want control over the "males." The only women old enough to remember men have been locked up in rest home cells, and the women of the society have been taught a revisionist history that has men as entirely evil people. They have also determined that all of the great scientists were women.
The entire running time is liberally sprinkled with naked women. The two leads, Bozena Stryjkˇwna and Boguslawa Pawelec, one a geneticist, the other archeologist, show breasts. IMDb has this at 7.7 of 10. There is good reason. The acting is wonderful, the women are beautiful, there is enough plot to fill the 120 minute running time, and there are some very nice plot twists. It is also a whole lot of fun. The fullscreen transfer is very nice, and the English subtitles can be turned off. In other words, a good job on a very good film. Unless you just can't tolerate subtitles, you should enjoy this one. B-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is
The Claire Keim volume is updated.
Claire already has 15 entries, 14 with nudity, and she's only 28!!
She seems to be establishing a record pace.
Splitting Heirs (1993):
Eric Idle wrote this lightweight comedy about a
working class guy who discovers late in life that he is the real Duke of
Bournemouth. For some reason, it never dawned on him that he wasn't
really from an Indian family, even though he had blond hair and blue
eyes. (Idle himself played the part).
Of course, he could hardly be blamed for not noticing
that, since there were even more obviously false things in his world
which were not false at all.
In order for the character to be the rightful Duke,
the Idle character has
to have been born on the same day as the Rick Moranis character, who is playing
the American currently believed to be the rightful Duke. You can
understand how Idle might have missed this point since he was born
in 1943 while Moranis was born in 1954. Idle was 50 in this film.
Moranis was 39, and looked much younger.
The rightful duke would have to be Barbara Hershey's
son. I can see why Idle might have missed this point as well, given that he is five years
older than his "mom" (Hershey).
Idle starts out resentful of Moranis's privileged
life, but the two of them eventually bond, at which point they have
to team up to defeat an evil lawyer (John Cleese) who hopes to
profit from Idle's claim to the dukedom. The barrister reasons that
the House of Lords would be much more likely to approve Idle's claim
if Moranis were dead, since there is no other claimant and the lords
abhor vacant dukedoms. Certain in that belief, Cleese sets about to
attend to the matter of reducing the number of claimants.
The film is boring and predictable, and there are
very few funny lines. The situations are only sporadically funny,
and a lot of the funniest material seems to be ... um ...
derivative. In other words, you've seen it all before. It does have
moments (the intro is quite funny, as it the "Hindu dream sequence",
for example), but it represents a
great disappointment from a dual-Python project.
Louise Downey (1,
Catherine Zeta Jones (1,
Here's the review
This is not an extremely good movie at all. In fact, I ragged on its
ass in my review (linked above, with pictures and all)
BUT ... it wasn't so far off.
This kid, William Butler, an actor turned director, might make
some good genre pictures some day. Perhaps soon.
From my mailbox:
Scoop: The Region 2 DVD of Paradise Lost (Sirtis topless scene) is
for just ú3.99 - there is also an American
outlet at playusa.com, but they ship anywhere free!
- The child molestation trial of
Michael Jackson took a stunning turn today as the singer's
attorney claimed that
Jacko's crimes were actually perpetrated by his look-alike on E!
Entertainment Television's trial reenactments. (Borowitz)
After two years, Kobe Bryant settles civil suit, terms not
Actress Denise Richards has filed for divorce from her
actor-husband Charlie Sheen, citing irreconcilable differences,
according to court papers filed Wednesday. Richards is six months
pregnant with the couple's second child. They also have a
daughter, Sam, who will be a year old next week."
- Prepare for future editions of Trivial Pursuit:
"Nice work today" - those were the last words uttered by Sgt.
Sipowicz, one of TV's most unforgettable characters, as
'NYPD Blue' ended its long, remarkable run.
Rock the Canvas - match the painting to the rock star who painted
It's good to see that Li'l' Kim dressed up all dignified for
TV preview: pilots, pilots, and more pilots.
The photography of Roman Loranc
Ten complete years of Calvin and Hobbes
- As the Michael Jackson trial begins, the news media circus
bravely analyzes the news media circus, and
the Daily Show creates a circus about that circus analyzing the
The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert reports on fashion at The Oscars
Former ambassador Nancy Soderberg talks to Jon Stewart about
recent events in the Middle East.
Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson talks to Jon about the joys of being
nicknamed by George W.
The Daily Show looks at Lebanon. "Democracy may have
been only fourth on the list of why we went to war, but it's
apparently been fruitful."
The Daily Show's Samantha Bee profiles two rabble rousers who are
fighting the system - one lawyer joke at a time.
- Cool site if you like the essence of "Pulp":
Real Pulp Weekly
A special six minute trailer from Steamboy
- "A retro science-fiction epic set in Victorian England, 'Steamboy'
features an inventor prodigy named Ra Stim who receives a
mysterious metal ball containing a new form of energy capable of
powering an entire nation. This young boy must use it to fight
evil, redeem his family, and save London from destruction. The
lush Victorian interiors and the elegance of the era's
mechanical design allows Otomo to create dazzling visual
backgrounds and machines for this film. With more than 180,000
drawings and 400 CG cuts, 'Steamboy' is sure to be one of the
most elaborate animated features of 2005."
The trailer for a new film from the UK, Mickybo and Me.
- Set in a divided Belfast in 1970, this is the story of two
boys whose friendship breaks down the barriers. Based on Owen
McCafferty's acclaimed play, it tells the tale of two kindred
spirits obsessed with "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and
how this infatuation leads them from fantasies into petty crime.
They become their heroes and gain the courage to escape to try
and escape to the barren Australian outback. From the makers of
"About a Boy" and "Billy Elliot" comes a truly original comedy.
The trailer for a new indie comedy called Funny Ha Ha
- "Marnie just graduated from college, drinks likes she's
still in school, is looking for a temp job but a permanent
boyfriend. She loves a guy who doesn't love her, ping-pongs
between awkward romantic alternatives, and even less suitable
jobs. 'Funny Ha Ha' paints a portrait of Marnie that captures
the aimless, stop and go rhythms of a young slacker's life."
The trailer for One Night With the King
- "An epic motion picture, starring old Hollywood royalty, set
in an imaginative world of adventure, intrigue and romance, One
Night With the King follows a young girl who rises from peasant
to princess by going against the culture and seeking the King's
heart rather than the riches of the kingdom.
What the hell is the deal behind Diary of a Mad Black Woman?
On Thursday, March 10th at 9 p.m., during 'The O.C.', FOX will air
the Episode III trailer. Subscribers to AOL will be
able to see the trailer after the broadcast. I suppose it will be
everywhere about two minutes later.
- The headline of the day comes from the AP.
"Nude man covered in nachos gets probation" - and a
tangy cheese sauce!
Martha Stewart racked up three Daytime Emmy noms even though she
hasn't graced the small screen in several months.
Weekly World News: "CELEBRITY HUNK INSURES HIS CHEST HAIR FOR $1
Letterman's Top Ten Other Changes At CNN
A dad accused of stealing salad from a Chuck E. Cheese salad bar
was subdued with a Taser stun gun.
- Officers said that "proper procedures were followed." Fair
enough. I'm sure the police handbook in Aurora Colorado is very
specific about handling people who take too many damned olives
at a salad bar. In fact, there are separate guidelines for
regular restaurants and those with animated characters.
- Oh, sure, the officers may have scared the hell out of a
room full of tykes for a couple of bucks worth of salad, but
that's not the best part of the story. The truly amazing thing
about this story is that the policemen continue to stick to
their fabricated story despite the fact that they were
manhandling the guy in front of a packed restaurant full of
witnesses!! What's more, the official police spokesman compounds
the problem by using phrases like "according to witnesses", when
the witnesses interviewed by media say the exact opposite of
what he claims! Now THAT'S proper procedure, namely "deny
- Oh, well, they did the guy a favor, I guess. That's the way
our country works. Instead of a free salad, he will end up
winning a multi-million dollar lawsuit and being a talk show
guest. Doesn't work out too well for the taxpayers of Aurora,
Internet fame is a cruel mistress for a Numa-Numa dancer
All male humans are stupid. Dutchmen are male humans. Therefore
A majority of Americans disapprove of the way the President is
handling Social Security
The trailer from Smile
- "Katie, a teenage girl from Malibu, California, finds
herself in the throes of growing up, facing her parents, her
boyfriends, her sexuality and a very privileged life. Half a
world away in rural, China, Lin, born on the same day as Katie,
faces a much different reality. Because of a severe facial
deformity, she lives a life of fear and shame. Her father,
Daniel, has devoted his life to her, with hopes and dreams that
her circumstances will change one day. The opportunity comes
with the discovery of the worldwide 'Doctor's Gift' program.
Katie volunteers and comes to China. Once there, she is deeply
touched by the work, which prompts her to take off on her own to
find Lin. A 'smile' is brought to Lin's face, Katie finds her
soul and their extraordinary connection becomes a life-changing
experience for both girls."
Jordan did the pregnancy test 9 times, is now worried
that she doesn't have enough milk for nine babies.
Gisele Bundchen provides incisive analysis of Best Actor Award:
Leo deserved to win Oscar: "I was like, 'He did a
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Here are the final results and comments for our most recent poll Best All Time Television Comedy
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1993 flick "Married People, Single Sex". Part soft-core, part pseudo-documentary about three couples and their marital difficulties and extra-marital affairs.
- "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" babe Chase Masterson in her undies.
- Chase Masterson (zipped .wmvs)
- Darla Haun (aka Darla Slavens). Here we see the actress and infomercial spokesperson going topless, frontal and playing with a vibrator.
- Darla Haun (zipped .wmvs)
- Shelley Michelle, the busty B-babe and professional body double (for Kim Basinger, Julia Roberts, Claudia Christian, Barbra Streisand). Here she is topless and showing some brief thong views while doing some stripping.
- Shelley Michelle (zipped .wmvs)
- Teri Thompson briefly baring breats and bum in two scenes.
- Teri Thompson (zipped .wmvs)
- Unknown strippers doing what they do (zipped .wmv)
- B-babe and radio personality Wendi Westbrook going topless.
- Wendi Westbrook (zipped .wmvs). Clip #3 also shows some pubes.
||Generously filling out her wonderbra while on her knees and unbuckling a dude's belt. Who hasn't had this dream before? Scenes from the short lived action series "Fastlane".
||Topless in scenes from the thriller and pseudo-sci-fi movie "Strange Days" (1995). Directed by Kathryn Bigelow and written by James Cameron, this a very entertaining movie that Scoop and I both enjoyed. For film buffs, this is a must see. Click here to read the Scoopy.com review
||Milla showing a bit of breast exposure in scenes from the first "Resident Evil".
|Both ladies are topless in scenes from "Death Ride to Osaka" aka "Girls of the White Orchid" (1983).
|Here are some fantastic high quality pics of Portman on the red carpet at the Oscars. The bad news...no fun parts are showing. The good news...these pics show off an extraordinarily attractive woman.
|Kitt 'caps of the pop star turned actress showing some pokies and stripping down to her undies in scenes from "All I Want" aka "Try Seventeen" (2002).
Natasha Gregson Wagner
|Snow Blind 'caps from the off-beat action/comedy/horror movie "Modern Vampires" (1998). Cattrall stays clothed but still looks good. Hanley is topless and covered in movie blood. Wagner also bares her breasts.
|Señor Skin takes a look at the laughably bad, 2002 remake of "Rollerball". Dobˇ and Poon are both clearly topless in a locker room scene. Romijn-Stamos did get topless but the lighting was horrible!
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ANNA NICOLE, GOODWILL AMBASSADOR
Yahoo Serious Wasn't Available? - Anna Nicole Smith was paid $100,000 to
appear at an Oscar-watching party in Paddington, Australia. When she got
off the plane, she declared that Australia was "the most prettiest country
I have ever been to," then asked, "Where are the damn f---ing kangaroos?"
I think she scared them away.
Then she lifted her dress and showed them what Down Under looks like.
TONYA HARDING TO WRESTLE TRANSVESTITE
Queen Of Scene Vs. Queen Of Mean - On March 10 at the Beach Bums club in
Ft. Lauderdale, skater-turned-boxer Tonya Harding will wrestle transvestite
Daisy D, known as the "Queen of the Scene" on a South Florida gossip TV
show. Promoter Damon Feldman said Daisy never mentioned she was a he when
they were making the deal over the phone, but added, "Well, it's close
enough. Tonya doesn't mind too much." The event will include three other
wrestling matches and a raunchy Paris Hilton lookalike contest. Feldman
said it will "give South Florida fight fans a classy night out."
Compared to their usual nights out, that's relatively true.
They call Tonya the "Hundred Dollar Baby."
Tonya Harding wrestling a transvestite...Sounds like her old honeymoon
STAR JONES FEARS FANS WILL MISTAKE MAN FOR HER
Extra Furry - The New York Post reports that TV host Star Jones Reynolds'
lawyers wrote to PETA, warning that an ad mocking her love of fur could
amount to unauthorized impersonation and the misappropriation of her
identity. PETA replied that as a public figure, Jones is fair game for
parody, but they're willing to meet with her and give her a fake fur. The
Post notes that Star's own lawyers seem to be implying that the public
couldn't tell her from the model, an overweight, six-foot drag queen named
Isn't that Star Jones' real name?
This guy is so hairy, he's not actually wearing a fur in the photo.
"STARS WITHOUT MAKEUP" CREATORS REMAIN ANONYMOUS
Oh, Kiss And Make Up - The New York Post's Page Six notes that the
controversial Fox TV special "Stars Without Makeup" featured no stars of
the Fox Network. Sharp-eyed viewers also noticed that the names in the end
credits were all fictitious, probably because the people who made it feared
they'd never work in Hollywood again. For instance, the writer was
credited as "Damien Thorn." That's the name of the spawn of Satan in "The
That's not an alias: this show actually was written by the spawn of
After this show, it's the stars who may never work in Hollywood again.
Ironically, the creators are afraid to go out in public unless they're
disguised under heavy makeup.