Today is the venerable Tuna's 100,000th Anniversary.

That means he has now completed the totally incomprehensible number of 100,000 collages.

As you all undoubtedly know, the 100,000th is traditionally known as the Ytterbium Anniversary, named after the most chronically underrated of the rare earths, and so Tuna earns an anniversary card postmarked in Ytterby and signed by many locals with heartfelt messages in their native Ytterbian dialect. Unfortunately, we have no idea what those messages mean, and the website is no help. While offering a quaint postcard picture of their apparently deserted town during its one annual snow-free day (I presume they migrate farther north to get in their daily ration of cross-country skiing), the domain offers no words beyond the admonition that "this site is not yet active."

Just remember, kids, the National Safety Council reminds you that playing with Ytterbium can irritate the skin and eyes, so always wear your gloves and goggles when you lace your snowballs with it, or any of the rare earth elements.

In order to help us and the quaint denizens of Ytterby celebrate this solemn occasion of near-religious significance, Tuna has selected one of his favorite films. His section is a free page today. Here is his advance look (yes, including the pictures) at the Cinderella Liberty DVD (Available March 6, 2007), starring Marsha Mason.


Oh, before I forget ... Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated, as per the normal Friday routine.


* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Cinderella Liberty

Cinderella Liberty (1973) is a comic love story about a career sailor who falls in love with a hooker and becomes a surrogate father to her son. The source material is the eponymous novel by Darryl Ponicsan about red tape and bureaucracy in the Navy. When director Mark Rydell was approached by the studio to make a film of the book, he read it and offered to make a film based not on the entire book, but on one particular chapter. They took him up on it and the novelist was hired to do his own adapted screenplay. Cinderella Liberty's lonely sailor was played by James Caan opposite a then unknown Marsha Mason.

1973 was the year of Darryl Ponicsan. In a strange twist of fate, he had not one but two Navy-themed novels made into movies in that very same year: his own adaptation of Cinderella Liberty and Robert Towne's adaptation of The Last Detail. Each was nominated for three Oscars (no winners):

Cinderella Liberty The Last Detail
Best Actress (Marsha Mason) Best Actor (The Joker)
Best Musical Score (John Williams) Best Supporting Actor (Cousin Eddie)
Best Original Song (John William, Paul Williams) Best Adapted Screenplay (Robert Towne)


Caan arrives in Seattle, and is transferred to the local Naval hospital for a pilonidal cyst. It turns out that the cyst doesn't need medical treatment, but red tape prevents him from getting back to his ship in time to leave with it. To add insult to injury, a frustrated Caan is given a Cinderella Liberty card. For those who have never been in the Navy, Cinderella Liberty means that you must be back before midnight lest you turn into a pumpkin, like Cinderella. It is usually imposed on low level personnel, certainly not a first class bosun's mate with over 12 years of service. He does what any good sailor would do: heads to a bar, and tries to get lucky. He ends up hustling Marsha Mason at pool -- $50 against her body. Caan wins. At her poverty-level apartment, he discovers that she has an 11 year old black son, and is a terrible mother. This is not a situation he relishes.

Back on the base, he finds out that his pay records have been lost, and is sent to transit barracks. To make matters worse, he still doesn't get liberty, but is stuck on shore patrol, also known as SP duty (often called Short Peters). Of course when he finally does get a night off, he has no money because of the payroll mix-up. Hanging out an amusement park, he finds Marsha Mason's son on a roller coaster, drinking beer and swearing. Caan decides to take the kid under his wing, and this leads to Caan and Mason getting back together. Things do not proceed smoothly. She is pregnant, the Navy won't recognize their marriage, they lose their welfare, and Caan's pay records are still missing.

He has only one stroke of luck. In an important sub-plot, he is continually searching for his boot camp company commander to get even with him. He finally finds his nemesis, who is in transit being discharged against his will. After punching him in the jaw, Caan discovers that he shares a lot of memories and more than a little affection with this company commander, played by Eli Wallach.

IMDb readers say 6.5. Ebert wasn't impressed and only awarded two stars. His complaint was that the story was simply not believable. Obviously, Roger was never in the Navy. There were some small problems caused by the fact that the US government didn't approve of the project and refused to help. For example, the director had to rent a Canadian Navy ship and repaint it. And there were some very minor technical errors. For example, Caan's rank is called "first class bosun's mate." A real sailor would say "BM 1," or "deck ape first" in colloquial speech. Officially, it would be "bosun's mate first class," not "first class bosun's mate."

Those are small matters. Apart from such minutiae, the film had almost everything both correct and credible.

Some might doubt that a sailor would marry a pregnant hooker with an illegitimate kid. There was a woman in Oakland, and not a very attractive one at that, who was known as Seventh Fleet Sally. Sailors, not the most PC people in the world at the time, used to say that kissing her was like blowing the whole Seventh Fleet by proxy. She had been married to many sailors. Also, a friend of mine met a pregnant girl at a party, humped her on the stairs, and ended up marrying her. They had to hide this fact from the Navy, because sailors holding a rank of E3 or lower were not allowed to marry without permission from the Navy.

Again, to someone who has never been in the service, the idea of missing pay records being a problem sounds strange. In fact, it was not uncommon. In the Navy there are three groups of enlisted men you try to stay friends with. Cooks, corpsmen and personnelmen.

  • Cooks, because they can see to it that your food is not palatable, and also because they can do you special favors.
  • Corpsmen, because they can give you assistance in getting medical care. I once traded a canned ham for an appointment for oral surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed. They film also incorporated a friendly corpsman, who arranged dental work for Mason's son.
  • Personnelmen, because they have the most power over you of all. They can lose your personal and pay records, often by dropping them behind file cabinets. At that point, you cease to exist and receive no pay for months. There is no hint in this film that it was intentional, but such things were not at all uncommon.

The basic idea of a poor woman hanging around a Navy town hoping to marry a sailor and gain dependent status for her and her kids is also very true-to-life, because that means commissary privileges, medical care and an allotment. When their husbands were at sea, they often became "seventh fleet widows," which meant they screwed around with whoever was in port. Lest you feel sorry for the husbands, they had no shortage of female companionship on R&R in places like Subic Bay, Yokosuka and Hong Kong.

In other words, this script is very authentic, obviously written by someone who has been there.

Darryl Ponicsan also did an amazing job on the dialogue, which included lines like:

Base commander Lynn Forshay, when asked if he had ever been in love: "I tell you Baggs, I don't believe I have. That's because I happen to be one of those incurable romantics. Every time I meet a girl, I expect to hear a clap of thunder. I never heard the thunder, but I occasionally did get the clap."

Bosun's mate John Baggs Jr.: "Would you call yourself a "Champagne cocktail-sippin', cock-teasin', downtown barroom whore?"

Maggie Paul: "Second generation"


The script was supported by outstanding execution as well. The acting was amazing. Marsha Mason garnered her first of four Oscar nominations for this performance, and won the first of two Golden Globes. Caan and Wallach were also fantastic, but that is no surprise. Newcomer Kirk Calloway was brilliant as the hardened young son with deep feelings just beneath the surface. The cinematography was done by none other than Vilmos Zsigmond, and was typical of his outstanding work. Music was composed by John Williams, and the song's lyrics were written by Paul Williams. It is no surprise that Mark Rydell produced and directed this fine film. It is not the only one of his that I have admired. He was responsible for The Rose, For the Boys, and On Golden Pond. I love all three, and On Golden Pond would be in my list of the top 100 of all time.

Although The Last Detail has emerged over time as Darryl Ponicsan's most highly regarded film project, and beats Cinderella Liberty 7.5 to 6.5 at IMDb, there is reason to believe that Cinderella Liberty was actually considered the better film in 1973. Although they fought to an Oscar stand-still with three nominations and no wins, Cinderella Liberty was the overwhelming favorite at the Golden Globes. While The Last Detail received only the two acting nominations for Nicholson and Quaid (with no wins), Cinderella Liberty received five nominations including best screenplay, and the Big Kahuna itself, best picture - drama. Four of its nominations were also-rans, but Marsha Mason won outright for her performance.

Obviously, this is exactly my kind of film. It talks about things I have personal experience at, and does so very believably. The entire film was shot in Seattle, a place where I spent a lot of time during my Navy years.  If it is your kind of film, as it is mine, they don't get much better.

It is a C+ on our scale, but one of my favorite films.



Marsha Mason shows breasts in multiple scenes.



Three unidentified women show breasts in a strip club.










Country Cuzzins

Well let's wrap up this Rene Bond marathon from Country Cuzzins. Our final scene has little miss innocent being conned into sex by Buck Flower, but Rene winds up screwing him to death. Caps and seven clips.









Comme t'y es belle

Comme t'y es belle is a whimsical but at the same time not unserious portrait of the friendship of four Sephardic Jewish women in Paris. Isa (Michèle Laroque) is a bitchy blonde beauty shop owner whose heart melts for a  financial wizard  - a British biker she has the good sense to run over with her SUV. She is also preparing a partnership registration with her immigrant housekeeper, who keeps her house tidy and her kids up-to-date with their homework. Isa's sister Alice (Valérie Benguigui) is going through a rough patch with her couch potato husband (Alexandre Astier), but is soothed by the pleasant presence of the single father (Thierry Neuvic) of a schoolmate of her children. Pampered heiress Léa (Aure Autika) cannot forget her ex but should. The youngest of the club, ditzy brunette Nina (Géraldine Nakache), is looking for ways to lose weight and gain a boyfriend, preferably the sleazy Adonis Simon (Davide Kammenos) who has a heart of gold, or so she thinks.

Aure Atika




Geraldine Nakache



Michele Laroque



Valerie Benguigui









"I'll suck your dick if you give me the job I want". That line, by star Maggie Gyllenhaal, serves to illustrate the problems faced by newly paroled prisoner Sherry in this 2006 drama. After serving three years in prison for stealing to support her drug habit, Sherry is clean and trying to make a life for herself and re-bond with her young daughter, but there are many obstacles.

Sherry has to deal with a strict parole officer, her brother and his wife who are caring for the daughter and have become so possessive they told the child not to call her Mommy, a father who seems to have an unhealthy affection for his daughter, plus all the additional problems that we all face in everyday life.

Sherry tries to cope with all the problems and avoid getting re-involved with drugs by attending meetings, and she is getting strength and support from a man whom she met at a meeting, but the pressures of having her family actually try to distance her daughter from her start to make it harder to avoid drugs.

This is a good story with a fairly ambiguous ending that probably accurately reflects what would happen in real life, and my only complaint with the movie is that they did let it drag in parts, although that may have added to the tone of the movie. It is a worthwhile movie to watch.

Maggie Gyllenhaal







The Cabin Movie

2005 Canadian comedy about swinging.
Arabella Bushnell shows a lot of cleavage
Justine Warrington is topless
Erin Wells is frequently topless and even shows some labia during an explicit panty crotch shot








Franck Spadone


Monica Bellucci. 'Nuff said.









Testosterone is a 2005 Greek sex comedy directed by auteur Giorgos Panoussopoulos.

A young man is trapped in an island peopled only by sexually voracious women and, since he's the only male available, he soon realizes that what at first may look like a dream come true is in fact a nightmare. Women of all ages, sizes and disposition "attack" him, including school girls, his elderly aunt, maybe his sister and even a mermaid (!). The film's plotting devices look to me like they were modeled on Hitchcock's "Birds" or "Village of the Damned," except this time women take the place of the animals or aliens. At first there are only small signs of the "abnormality" but gradually the situation escalates until in the end the hero is chased to his death by almost zombie-like nymphs.

Despite its anti-feminism, this has many funny moments and some quite sexy scenes. The critics panned the film - although it was a minor commercial success - perhaps because they expected more from a director like Panoussopoulos.

Dimitra Matsouka
Jane Sampanikou
Martha Akasoglou
Others and groups








Notes and collages

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Cassandra Peterson, Part 2








Britney Spears. According to the story, she's in a borrowed bikini, with a bit of one boob falling out below her top, hanging out with her new rehab pals.

Film Clips


Following up on Marsha Mason ... I covered her in Blume in Love last week, and Tuna got Cinderella Liberty today. Here is her third nude appearance in The Image. (Also covered recently by RokWatch.)

This one is a real treasure. You may have seen Helen Slater in House in the Hills, but you probably haven't seen this version. It is a full-negative broadcast from Danish television, or something. I'm not sure, because I've never run into anything else with an aspect ratio of 1.23:1. At any rate, it shows some image composition never seen before. Of course, it isn't so important that we see the boom mike (below left), but it is kinda cool that we see Helen's public hair (below right).







Pat's comments in yellow...


Fostoria, Ohio, attorney Gene Murray is using a creative method of getting his client's drug charges dismissed. The police chief is under investigation for allegedly lying on his job application and resume, so Murray is arguing that he wasn't legally employed as a cop and thus had no authority to bust his client. To hammer home the point, he plans to prove that the chief's criminal justice degree is worthless by calling the town police dog Rocko to the stand and showing that he has the same degree from the same online college, under the name "John I. Rocko." Murray didn't say how the dog managed to get a degree from the school.

* Same way a lot of other students do: by licking the professor.

* He also didn't say how the dog managed to be valedictorian.


A Harvard study found that a diet rich in ice cream and other high-fat dairy foods may help women get pregnant.

* Or at least, help them LOOK pregnant.