Wednesday

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

Scoop's additional notes on the R-rated version. (More spoilers)

My original comments were written after having watched the NC-17 version twice. After having now watched the R-rated version as well, I'd have to say that Atom Egoyan was unnecessarily stubborn in not having created the very same version earlier, in order to get an R rating for the theatrical release. The cuts which were required to forge an R-rated version had no impact upon the flow or comprehensibility of the story. If the critical three-way sex scene was cut in any way, I really couldn't detect it.

There were two places where I did notice missing footage:

1. The scene where Kevin Bacon is taking Rebecca Davis from behind. There are several repeated hip thrusts in the NC-17 version before the act is interrupted by a doorbell. In the R-rated version, the scene basically begins with the last hip thrust before the interruption.

2. The scene where Colin Firth is being blown by an unnamed hooker. In the NC-17 version, there is a graphic procto-cam view of the prostitute. In the R-rated version, the act is entirely off-camera.

As I see it, that footage was unnecessary, and the film is just as good without it. In the case of the hooker, there never had been a good reason to show her, since she didn't exist in the first place. (She was fabricated as part of the official cover story.)

Movie House Page

Here is an additional cap of Rebecca Davis from the R-rated version. As you can see, the MPAA had no problem allowing the near-gyno shot!

 

Sin City (2005)

Although essentially ignored by the Academy, this is the highest-rated film of 2005 at IMDb. I don't know if I would have picked it as one of my choices for Best Picture. Maybe, maybe not. But if I had been allowed to pick the nominees personally, Robert Rodriquez would certainly have been one of the five nominated for Best Director. The Academy has always been subject to the societal yin and yang which directs the "art versus entertainment" debate. They go a few years without nominating high-minded dramas, then they seem to award only high-minded dramas, then they cycle renews. In a different political climate, Batman Begins and Sin City would have been among the five nominees, but this is the year of the message picture.

 Movie House Page

Here are some high-definition video clips of Carla Gugino and Jaime King in Sin City. (Rapidshare - gigantic files.)

And here are some sample caps from the Jamie King clip. (Gugino is in yesterday's page.)

 


Other Crap:

 

Groundbreaking - When Oscar stood tall

 

The Mother Road: Historic Route 66: Turn-by-Turn Road Description

 

Stars prepare for Oscar night by rubbing their faces with fish eggs

 

Folk Songs of the Far Right Wing

 

The headline is pretty good: Woman bites husband's penis
... but the story is awesome!

  • "The incident was reported to have happened on the night of February 21 and Mr Mensah is receiving treatment at the hospital. The case has not been reported to the police."
    • And yet it's in the newspaper and on the internet! "Hello, operator, get me the Gazette - my wife is biting my penis."
  • "They intervened and released the organ from the woman's mouth and took him to the clinic."
  • "At a family meeting on the incident the following day Abenaa defended her action, saying it was the husband who first bit her vulva."

 

Jon Stewart talks to Larry King about hosting the Oscars

 

The Weekend Warrior looks at this weekend's box office

  • He thinks 16 Blocks and Ultraviolet will finish 1-2, with the Dave Chappelle movie #4 overall, but #1 by far in "revenues per screen." Aquamarine, the other new release, is slated for seventh.

 

One (more) reason to avoid Burbank: "'Happy Days: Aaay! It's a Musical!'" ... even better - Fonz is played by one of the New Kids on the Block

 

The trailer for Confederate States Of America (What if the Confederacy had won the Civil War?)

 

Retro Dove commercials featuring Felicity Huffman, directed by Penny Marshall

 

Britney Spears Celebrates Mardi Gras ... um ... with lots o' food apparently

 

A Photo Gallery from the remake of Black Christmas

 

Reese Witherspoon has overtaken over Julia Roberts as the highest paid actress of all time.

 

One in Three New Orleans Residents Lost Everything They Had as a result of Katrina

 

Keep Digging, Coal Monkeys - "Mine Safety" is for HOMOS!

 

Letterman: Top Ten H&R Block Excuses for filing an inaccurate tax return for their own company.

 

Mandy Moore and Zach Braff wedding registry

 

The official site for Pan's Labyrinth, the new film from Guillermo del Toro (In Spanish)

 

Wonder World Introduces World’s Least Enjoyable Roller Coaster

 

Fun Movie Quiz - Part 2

 

Failure to Launch - Film Clip (Rom-com with SJP and McConaughey)

 

The trailer from Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School

  • Official blurb: "'Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School' is a beautiful film that celebrates the reawakening of the spirit. Frank Keane (Robert Carlyle) has been consumed by grief over his wife's death. When fate intervenes, he pulls over to help a stranger in a car wreck. The man (John Goodman), near death, begs Frank to fulfill a promise made 40 years ago that he would meet his childhood sweetheart at Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School where they first met as kids. Frank attempts to deliver the man's regrets, but instead meets his own destiny when he encounters Meredith (Marisa Tomei) and the invigorating world of dance, which opens his heart to find love again."

 

A new clip of Johnny Depp in The Libertine

 

GOLDDIGGERS, GIGOLOS RALLY IN SUPPORT OF ANNA NICOLE ... Thousands March On Washington to Show Support for Former Playmate

 

Long Dong Silver

 

Anna Nicole legal drama moves to Supremes, and she's really looking forward to it because she's a huge Diana Ross fan

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Eden (1993)

Eden (1993) is a T&A soap opera that takes place at a resort called Eden. Barbara Allyn Woods runs it, and spends much of her screen time flashing back to sex with her dead husband, whom she can't get over. Unless she marries soon, according to his will, she will lose the resort. Her brother-in-law would very much like to give her new sex memories to have flashbacks about. Then there is gym instructor Darci DeMoss, who has an asshole ex-husband, and Diana Barton, who wants her lover to divorce his wife, Elizabeth Lambert. Best friends Jill Pierce and Kristen Fontaine both boff the diving instructor, then get upset about it.

That pretty much details the plot from what the DVD set calls "part one." There seem to be 6 parts, and those contain all 26 episodes. I will leave it to someone else to watch the other five parts. Two things seem to happen. First, someone must show their breasts and buns every 10 minutes. Second, people must try their level best, between the T&A, to make sure the plot doesn't advance. They accomplished both of those admirably in Part 1 of this set. That is far from my idea of entertainment. In fact, watching it made me completely swear off movies for three days.

Again, the T&A team consists of Barbara Alynn Woods, Darci DeMoss, Diana Barton, Elizabeth Lambert, Jill Pierce and Kristen Fontaine.

IMDb lists it, but has no opinion about it. A serious weakness of our scoring system is that we can't award less than an E- if something is technically competent unless it includes Jeff Fahey. Lacking Fahey, this is a very, very, very, very low E-.

 

 

Barbara Alyn Woods

Darci DeMoss

Diana Barton

Elizabeth Lambert

Jill Pierce

Kirsten Fontaine

 

Divorce Law - Sheik Yurbotti (1993)

Sheik Yurbotti is the last episode I will be doing of this tragically short adult sit-com.

One of the cases outlined in this episode is among my favorites from the series. After a woman's husband is laid off, she goes to work, and he becomes a house husband. She comes home to find him with his testicles dangling in their aquarium, so the goldfish can nibble them while he jerks off. That wasn't enough to clench the divorce on grounds of adultery, but his diddling of the fish-sitter teeny-bopper was was.

In the concurrent cases:

  • Three wives of Sheik Yurbotti are asking for asylum and suing for divorce. It is a delicate case, since the US owes the sheik a fortune for oil. The wives are Veronica Plum, Heidi Lynn and Melanie Rose.

  • A woman is suing her husband because he has given her an ultimatum to quit her job or leavehim. It is understandable when you learn that her job is testing adult toys, along with her male lab partner.

All of the women show breasts.

As I never watch skinemax, I don't know if these 30 minute adult sitcoms are common, but based on this one, they are a very good idea. Like any sitcom, they eventually run out of ideas, but it seems to me to be an ideal format for "couples erotica," in that there is more going on than just sex, the main cast becomes sympathetic after a while, and the sex scenes are, of necessity, short and to the point. This series is a C+, but you have to like bad puns, intentionally bad acting, phony accents and occasional flubbed lines to enjoy them fully.

Jessica Morgan

Cindi Lewis

Veronica Plum, Heidi Lynn and Melanie Rose.

 
 

 

 



Today we have one of the Andy Sidaris "Bullets, Bombs, and Babes" films, "Picasso Trigger." That description pretty much tells you what you are going to get. Translated: lots of boobs.

Hope Marie Carlton, lingerie and in the pool.

Patty Duffek as "Pattycakes" the same in the hot tub.

Kym Malin showers and lathers up the robos.

The star Dona Speir flashes her "hooters" in the shower (see, it's a clean movie).

 

 

 

 

 

The paparazzi catch Penelope Cruz in a bikini. I was wondering why she had stopped doing any worthwhile nude scenes. I wonder no longer. Of course, she's just a bit out of shape and could probably restore hotness with a month of exercise and diet, but right now it looks like she goes to the same gym as Britney Spears. You know, the one with its own Krispy Kreme franchise.

Here's wrestling's Lita with the beginning of a nipple-slip on RAW

Actress and stand-up comedienne Ria Coyne in Corporate Affairs

A sexy but ultimately unrevealing vidcap of JLH in The Truth About Love


Pat's comments in yellow...

New York Daily News columnist Lloyd Grove reports that actress Nancy Balbirer, who once shared an apartment with an unknown Jennifer Aniston, is writing a show that includes horror stories about a former roomie identified as "Jane."  She says "Jane" never paid rent, would lie upside down on the sofa giving herself bikini waxes, iced her nipples before auditions, and advised Nancy to be more "f---able" on auditions and to stuff her bra with chicken cutlets.  She says "Jane" moved to L.A.; got a nose job, lipo and a hairline adjustment; and became a sitcom star.  When Nancy asked to visit, "Jane" gave her the names of some hotels and told her not to be so desperate, because that's unattractive in L.A.  After Nancy landed a role on "Jane's" sitcom, she was fired before she started, with no explanation.  Aniston's spokeswoman denied Balbier's claims, saying
they'd been roommates, but they were "never close friends."

*  No?!...Sure sounds like the way Jennifer treats her close friends.

*  Personally, nothing says "desperate" to me like a bra full of chicken cutlets.

The producer of next week's Academy Awards told Three 6 Mafia, the
performers of the Oscar-nominated song, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow," that they cannot use the F-word, the S-word or the N-word, all of which appear repeatedly in the lyrics.  They were told they could say "bitch" and "ho," since those words already are used on network TV.  But a group spokesman said they've written new clean lyrics with
no vulgar words at all.

*  It's now called, "It's Hard Out Here For A Wimp."

*  Instead of being about a black ghetto pimp, the song is now about a British boy wizard.

*  Use any words you want!  Do you really think Middle American Christian conservatives are going to be watching this year's Oscars?!!