"Eye of the Beholder"
Eye of the Beholder (1999) features Ewan McGregor as a British detective, and Ashley Judd as the woman he is assigned to watch. He is trying to get over the disappearance of his wife and daughter who evidently left him, although we see him talking to the daughter and buying things for her through the first half of the film. Judd, it turns out, is a serial killer. So what does our 00-Idiot do about it? He decides to become her guardian angle and protect her from law enforcement, which is suppose to atone in some way for losing his wife and daughter.
If that sounds even remotely like a credible plot or even a plausible excuse for a film, you are even sicker than the director. I tried to watch this a couple of years ago, and threw it in a corner after about the first ten minutes. Scoop pointed out that there was nudity from Ashley Judd, and I really should capture it, so I watched the entire thing, and it doesn't get any better. As a matter of fact. they committed another unpardonable sin in showing an aged Genevieve Bujold not looking at all the way I would prefer to remember her.
Judd shows breasts disposing of a body in the rain, and in a bath scene. She also shows rear nudity and distant full frontal in the rain scene. We also get a few glimpses of her in lingerie. IMDb readers have this at 4.4 of 10, which is overly high in my estimation. Critics didn't like it any more than I did, and gross barely exceeded the $16M budget. The DVD contains both a Widescreen ad a full negative 4/3 version, and a directory commentary which I passed on. As is often the case, we get additional breast exposure in the 4/3 version, and we see her face for more of the bathtub scene. The film is professionally made from a technical aspect, but has to be one of the worst screen plays of all time, and lacks character development even for the characters it includes. D-.
Sister Sister (1987) --Bill Condon was a man in search of his first directing job, having had some small success as a writer. He got no takers on the script he was passing around, but was finally given a chance on a teen slasher film set at a alligator farm in Louisiana. When they agreed to some rewrites, he took the job. He figured he had to keep the bayou, an alligator and some nudity, but totally rewrote it into a southern gothic mystery thriller. When it was test screened, the audiences were talking about tar and feathers, and a possible lynching, so they totally changed the focus of the film, releasing the current mess, which at least didn't end with a , "Oh, and this is all a dream."
Two sisters run a B&B in the swamp. We learn that the younger one, Jennifer Jason Leigh, has or has had mental problems, and her older sister has avoided marrying the sheriff to look after her. We gradually learn that someone committed a murder, and that Leigh may not be the only unstable one. The film leads us from one false suspect to another until it is finally ready for the big surprise, which is, of course, the person we have no reason at all to suspect.
Leigh shows breasts in three scenes. IMDb readers have this at 5.2 of 10. It grossed $743K. Condon blames the test audiences for ruining his masterpiece. I don't see how anything would have made this mess watchable. D.
Jennifer Jason Leigh
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Martin Scorsese is generally considered to be the dean of American
filmmakers, the man that the youngsters look up to. Scorsese's
reputation is so redoubtable that most people are surprised to
discover that he has never won and Oscar and has never had a hit.
(Gangs of New York came the closest to a box office winner, with a
$77 million gross, but that compared to a $97 million budget).
I guess that means I feel about the same way everyone else feels
about this guy - his talent is evident, but if he's so freakin'
good, why can't he make a movie I actually like watching? Not one
that I admire, but one I really enjoy,
One of the problems with Casino is
that it is practically a sequel to Goodfellas. If you just couldn't
get enough of Goodfellas, here it is again. Joe Pesci obviously
couldn't get enough, because when his friend Scorsese called him up,
he must have said "Marty, I need time to study the role. What's my
character?", and Scorsese must have responded, "skip the heavy
study, little Joe, because you can play the EXACT same character as
When I say "exact" here, I don't mean
"kinda similar". I mean that this is the exact same guy with a
different name. The first time Pesci did this, it was kind of a cool
idea that a little, flabby, overweight dwarf with a sissy voice
turns out to be an uncontrollable psychopathic juggernaut who
destroys everyone in his path. I'm not really convinced, however,
that every movie needs that character. Maybe you have a different
idea. If you think Amadeus would be a better movie with a chubby
little Salieri who kills Mozart by squeezing his head in a vice,
Casino is your movie. Personally, I'm holding out for Joe Pesci's
Casino is based on a famous gambler named Frank
"Lefty" Rosenthal, whose story was told in Nicholas Pileggi's nonfiction book, Casino: Love
and Honor in Las Vegas. Although Pileggi
also co-wrote the Casino screenplay with Scorsese, the movie is a
fictionalization which does not follow the Rosenthal story
Here is the publicity blurb for the book:
"The true story of how the mob finally lost its stranglehold over
the multi-billion-dollar casino gambling industry of Las Vegas.
No one knew more about casinos than Frank "Lefty" Rosenthal, the
gambling mastermind who, with his best friend and partner Anthony
Spilotro virtually ran Las Vegas for the mob. For years it
was the perfect arrangement -- Lefty provided the smarts and
obsessive attention to detail, while Tony made sure the bosses
stayed happy with their weekly suitcases filled with millions of
dollars in skimmed cash. It was so sweet it should have lasted
forever, but Lefty's obsession with running the town -- and Tony's
obsession with Lefty's beautiful showgirl wife Geri -- eventually
led to the betrayals and investigations that exploded into one of
the greatest debacles in the mob's history.
A real-life story of love and betrayal set in America's favorite
playground, Casino is a Mafia tragedy of Shakespearean
dimensions, as well as the inside account of just how the mob lost
control of the neon money-making machine it created."
That summary does not exactly apply to the movie, but it's close
enough to give you the idea. Robert DeNiro plays the mastermind with
quiet, icy elegance. Joe Pesci plays his boyhood friend who becomes
a noted Vegas hoodlum. Sharon Stone plays the hooker who becomes
DeNiro's wife, then Pesci's lover. The efficient DeNiro character,
Ace, has everything under control on the casino side, but everything
goes wrong in his personal life, and that eventually undermines his
casino operation, which needs to stay low-key in order to be
effective. Ace refuses to cut ties with his out-of-control pal, then
he is betrayed by his chronically unfaithful and coke-addicted wife,
then he hosts a local TV show which draws further attention to
Ideally, the mob bosses want Ace to operate quietly and
discreetly in the shadows, and give the impression that he's a
faceless bureaucratic executive in the IBM or Disney mold,
maintaining an aura of legitimacy which allows the mobs to quietly
skim and launder money through the casinos. When Ace can no longer
do that, he and his associates expose the operation unnecessarily,
and things have to be resolved.
It is often misreported that the movie is based on Pileggi's
book. That is almost true, but not quite. The book was still a work
in progress when Scorsese and Pileggi created the screenplay.
Technically, the screenplay was actually written before the book,
not after, but it was based on the book-in-progress.
Although the film is fictionalized, you can believe what the film
tells you and assume that you won't receive much misleading
information . In fact, the film plays out like a documentary at
times, when it presents endless sidebars about the details of money
laundering, casino scamming, gaming, cheating, protection rackets,
greasing the local politicians, and more. The film must include more
voice-over than any other major fictional film in history. It runs
just about three hours, and there must be pretty close to ninety
minutes of narration.
My thoughts: a good movie, but not great. Too long, too much
narration, too familiar, and too much detail about penny-ante
aspects of bookmaking, casino operation, and Nevada politics.
Oh, well. If you're into the whole Scorsese, Goodfellas thing,
this is a must-see for you. Excluding documentaries, Casino is rated
fourth highest of all Scorsese's films at IMDb (see a list of the
top dozen below), and the three above it are considered to be
unchallenged masterpieces, so the general verdict of posterity seems
to be "Casino is a near masterpiece".
The Bitch (1978):
I stumbled into these captures in a newsgroup. If I have seen
this movie, I can't remember any details. I plan to see it soon,
however. Note Joan Collins's famous mismatched breasts in #1.
X-Entertainment's Download Center - Watch Hundreds of 1980s
- A behind the scenes look at
Resident Evil 2.
Independent Spirit Award Winners: "'Lost in
Translation,' Sofia Coppola's quirky tale of friendship in Tokyo,
dominated Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards, winning best
picture and three other prizes. "
Which country are you?
Lucian Morad, Jagger's ex, poses for The Sun.
Horny eye for the clumsy guy. Make love on TV, experts
criticize your technique on a new UK show, Sex Inspectors. Aha -
the next major role for William Hung - "I hope to have a career as
a sex professional, maybe a Gigolo or a sex therapist."
Personally, I don't think I'll be going on TV to let Simon Cowell
and Bobby Heenan criticize my fucking technique.
- Weekly World News reports on the
newest sports craze: geezer drag racing.
- You think Norway is only about fish? Think again, amigo.
Norwegian parliament debates snoring.: "Karin Andersen,
of the Socialist Left party, said she asked the labor minister to
explain by Monday how he planned to meet the demand for
Will Mel's Passion be box office boffo in Israel?
George Costanza to give Israelis and Palestinians a lasting peace
and thick, lustrous hair
- It's a sweep:
Gigli takes all six major Razzies. Worst actor, worst
actress, worst picture, worst director, worst screenplay, and
worst screen couple.
History of the Razzies 1980-2002
- As far as I know, this is the only site on the entire net
which is completely dedicated to
Flat-Top Crewcuts, from Whitey Herzog to H.R. "Puffnstuff"
What the hell? The Disneyfication of ... Bangkok??? I
guess if it can happen to Vegas, it can happen anywhere.
- Here is the trailer for
Saved!, a teen comedy/drama with Jena Malone, Mandy
Moore, Macaulay Culkin, and Patrick Fugit
GORE ENDORSES ARISTIDE. Government Falls Seconds Later.
Embattled Disney chairman Michael Eisner is now in hiding, hoping
to avoid a potentially devastating endorsement from the erstwhile
California Supreme Court refuses to halt gay marriages
Ben Stiller likes boobs
Six major leaguers whiff vs. sexiest female softball pitcher.
That doesn't surprise me. I have often argued that the top female
fast pitch softball team could beat the New York Yankees at fast
pitch softball. If you've never played fast pitch, well, the ball
is impossible to hit. It rises and curves. The pitchers have to
slow down and focus when there are runners on base, because the
catcher has to be able to hold on to the ball (base stealing is
permitted), but if you bat with the bases empty, you have about
zero chance of making contact.
U.S. and Pakistan deny bin Laden capture. Pentagon and
Pakistani officials on Saturday denied an Iranian state radio
report that Osama bin Laden was captured in Pakistan's border
region with Afghanistan "a long time ago."
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Better than Chocolate is one of the very best
lipstick lesbian movies: unthreatening politics, a good story,
attractive women, good photography, solid acting, good sex and
frontal nudity. (.avi version (both scenes), .wmv version #1 -
lesbian body painting, .wmv version #2 - lesbonic sex)
If you want to see the distinguished actress
Susannah York showing all she's got, you've come to the right place,
amigos. Here she shows it all in Images. (.avi version, .wmv
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
If you wanted to spend some bucks to make some bucks
you could do worse than turn it over to Gregory
Hippolyte and ask him to film a bunch of topless
women. He is responsible for such soft-core classics
as "Night Rhythms", "Mirror Images", "Secret Games"
and "Animal Instincts." And as hardcore director,
Greg Dark, he has churned out classics of that genre,
including "New Wave Hookers."
And so someone did. Give him some money. Told him to
film, "In Search of the Perfect 10." Make it a 60
minute video, they said, and get maybe 8, 9, 10, no 11
girls to remove their tops and put some comic filler
between the tit scenes. Man on the street interviews,
commentary by a sleezebag who would rather lie to get
a girl nekkid than speak the truth... that sort of
thing. Nothing high-brow, mind you. Forget the Kant
and the Goethe. Tits and laughs, that's all we want.
Greg gave em the tits. The laughs were another
matter. Oh there are people who try, but I remember
lines more clever from a 9th grade play the principal
banned because it used the word "fairy" in a
questionable context. That's too bad, because with
some half-decent... hell, even quarter-decent material
this would have been a semi-watchable enterprise.
Instead, its not even semi-hemi-demi-watchable.
And little Greggie shoots some blanks with the babes,
too. He had some winners like Michelle Bauer
and Gail Harris, and some better-than-average babes
(Terri Lynn Peake and Venus Delight). When he ran out of them, he asked a bunch
of 80's pornstars to take off their tops. They
include Blondi, Lois Ayers, Krista Lane and Rachel
Ryan. Problem here is if you want to see those gals
good and naked and humpin' in the non-sport variety
all you have to do is rent one of a few hundred
hardcore movies. My own solution would have been to
sign up a half-dozen former Hefmates, but then that's
my own solution to most problems the world faces,
including the odd uprising in Haiti.
Let me also dispute the title. A perfect 10 is not
what the movie is about, since all attention is
reserved for the hooties. You get to see a few bums
and the briefest bit of bush from Gail Harris. So its
not the perfect 10 but the perfect tits that the
filmmakers search for.
In the end we have 11 women, 14 collages. In order
Blondi, topless in a car, playing a blonde so dumb she
thinks Anchorage is a quarter mile from Hollywood.
Gail Harris, here billed as Gail Thackray. This woman
should have won the contest, hands down. She has a
most attractive body and she shows it off well in the
old two-way-mirror-at-a-lingerie-store scene. I liked
her so much, I worked on 3 collages of her scene...
and that was a chore because the videotape I grabbed
these from was more than a little noisy.
B-movie veteran, Heidi Paine as a seller of maps to
stars' homes. She has the only decent line in the
movie when she admits the only people to whom she
sells the maps are stars too drunk to find their own
Iris Condon, before she got the implants, looking as
though she should be a different movie, entitled "In
Search of the Perfect 0.1" Take a look and see if you
Krista Lane, who plays topless Twister with Iris.
Lois Ayers, caught exercising topless in her backyard.
The famous and righteous Michelle Bauer. She is
judged to have perfect 10 hooties in this documentary.
I think not. Michelle may well have been a perfect
10 if you consider the whole package but her
after-market add-ons were nothing spectacular.
Rachel Ryan, who used another name in this movie.
Rachel did hardcore work under 8 different names and
under 800 guys. I gather from some of the titles
listed in IMDB she specialized in a certain form of
near- but non-vaginal intercourse.
Roxanna Vanalden. Never heard of her before and
apparently neither has anyone else. Only listing in
IMDB is this tape. Even Googled her and got one hit,
to a site that offers this tape for sale.
Terri Lynn Peake, who as Terri Lenee Peake was Pet of the Month for Oct '87. She
claims in the tape that her boobs are "fucking perfect."
Venus Delight, sometime stripper and sometime
fire-eating sword-swallower (I did not make up that
last part), looking extremely nice from the front and
So theres ya go. This was a good plan, in theory, but
flawed plan, in practice. I guess the best way to
look at ISO P10 is the same way most married guys look
at their weddings... sounded like a good idea at the
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Back to business after a little break from 'capping....
Here's a good look at former Heffer Suzi Simpson (January '92) in the Sidaris flick "Enemy Gold". That of course translates into 'lots of boobs'.
Take a good look at # 21, a slight peek at some pubic hair, a little unusual for Andy.
- Suzi Simpson
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
Canadian pregger comedy starring a very pregnant
Valerie Buhagiar in the buff. Buhagiar was
seven months pregnant when filming started
and give birth two weeks after it ended.
Despite her nudity the director went through
great lengths not to show anything below the equator.
A nude love scene was shown as a series of stills and the
ever-so-present bedsheet that never rode below the hips.
The DVD is only available in Canada and maybe Oz.
- Valerie Buhagiar: breasts and pregnant as a guppy.
- Barbara Radecki: cleavage, then fully clothed giving dildo demonstration.
- Angela Gei: tight sweater pokies.
Canadian action-thriller released last week starring Ryan Reynolds
best known for dating Alanis Morissette. No nudity but Kristin
Booth was in really tight clothes to erotically
manoeuver under some laser beams.
"The Wisher" (2002) aka Spliced
Canadian horror starring Liane Balaban from New Waterford Girl.
The standard female cast in skimpy clothes while the school slut
gets murdered soon after having sex and showing her boobs.
"Distant Bridges" (1999)
UK WW1 war romance that became out-of-print soon after it was
released. Stars Laura Patch best known as the saucy
Piccalina Sternflanks from the Lexx cable series.
Tulane Joseph and Jacqueline Hussein play a couple of French hookers.
Just one last look at the UK DVD release. In the trailer
the dark scenes are alot more brighter and there are
some scenes not in the DVD feature.