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"Death Wish V: The Face of Death" (1994)

Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994) is probably the second best of the Death Wish vigilante series. You will definitely have to concentrate on not over-analyzing it to fully enjoy it, however. An obviously older Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) is in the witness protection program, and is hiding -- get this -- as a professor of architecture in New York City, where he began. Further, he is dating a prominent fashion designer, and ex wife of an Irish mob boss. When the boss first messes up her face, then kills her, and tries to kill Kersey, Kersey comes out of retirement. This time, he has more tricks than just handguns that never miss. My personal favorite was the use of the old remote controlled soccer ball bomb.

Sharolyn Sparrow as the girlfriend of the mob hit man does a very nice hot tub scene. Note: CNDB lists the exposure as being Lisa Inouye. Trust me...this blonde isn't nearly oriental enough to be Lisa. IMDB readers detest this film at 3.4/10. Maltin says BOMB. US gross was $1.702m. It could be that I was in a good mood today, but I was entertained. There was, of course, no suspense. You knew from the opening credits that Bronson would kick ass, and prevail in the end, but there was cleverness and more than a little humor. I have to give this one a 2 1/2 ... an ok way to waste an evening.

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  • Sharolyn Sparrow (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "The Delivery"

    The Delivery (1999) is a Dutch thriller, and, at least for me, a very good one. It is directed by Roel Reiné , and stars an international cast, including Aurélie Meriel, who plays a lead, and provides the exposure in a pond bathing scene. She also has sex in a scene that was too dark and grainy to do anything with. Several people seem to compare this film to Run, Lola, Run, and claim it doesn't compare well. True, Aurélie wears an orange wig the first five minutes of the film, a spouse is in danger, and there is a deadline to be met, but calling this a rip-off of Run, Lola, Run is like saying Eat at the Blue Fox is a rip-off of The Greatest Story Ever told because they both have donkeys. I don't remember a VW falling off an overpass in front of Lola, I don't remember Lola stealing car after car and covering several countries, or getting naked, and I also missed this scene entirely in Lola.

    A married couple and his best friend are in serious debt to some loan sharks. She has an old college friend who once told her that she could earn 10 grand by making a delivery for him. The delivery, of course, is illegal drugs. The old friend has a few last minute wrinkles. First, he wants them to follow his routes, and to be at pay-phone checkpoints at prescribed times, and second, he wants one of the three to stay as a hostage. The wife is the one to stay, so our two heros start off from Amsterdam to Spain with a back seat full of $34,000,000.00 worth of ecstasy. They are barely out of site when a VW falls off an overpass in front of them, nearly hitting them. Out jumps Aurélie, who convinces them to take her and her seriously injured companion to get help.

    Getting help, however, is just a ruse. She really wants to stop a political assassination that a group she was a member of is planning. They arrive too late, the boyfriend dies of his injuries, and Aurélie and our two heroes are now the targets of Interpol, the radicals, and God knows who else. This film has wit, energy, pace, acting, beautiful scenery, and got my pulse rate up more than once. 76 IMDB voters have it at 5.8/10. Apollo says 63, and Apollo readers say 50%. The film won a Best Director award in the Netherlands, and two other nominations. I give this one a solid B, and would compare it to The Getaway, except with fresh scenery, more going on, and more humor.

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  • Aurelie Meriel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Melanie Vervoort

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at four new releases. Not a good week, either for the quality of the movies or the bare flesh.


    Lost Souls. A very poor (yet another) antichrist movie, but with some redeeming features. Well photographed, murky atmosphere, well acted. The script is poor, but not as poor as the critics said. Most critics savaged it, but I didn't read one critic who understood the ending, and if you don't try to understand it, some other elements don't make sense. Unfortunately, understanding it doesn't really make it much better. I think I hate antichrist movies even more than vampire movies. When will I get an antichrist movie narrated from start to finish, and then they wake up and it was all a dream. That would be my ideal movie. No Winona flesh in the deleted scenes, guys, sorry.

    The Right Temptation. Straight to vid. A new variation on the theme of "woman hires private eye, intending to set him up as a patsy". Stars Kiefer Sutherland, Rebecca deMornay, Dana Delaney. I didn't have the DVD, so couldn't pick up any flesh. Demornay did a sex scene far from the camera, or with a grate in between her and the camera. There may be a nipple visible in the DVD version, but I couldn't pick it up.

    In Pursuit. This can't be the worst film of the past year, because of the lurking presence of Glam (which is far, far, far worse than Battlefield Earth), but it must be a strong contender for the bottom five. Confusing, muddled, corny, poorly directed (hint: sudden zoom-in close ups of eyes, accompanied by swooshing noises), poorly acted, piece of straight-to-bargain-bin crap. It is better than Glam only because people don't repeat the same thing 30-40 times, and Claudia Schiffer lifts up her skirt and shows her butt. (Enlargement in #2). By the way, Schiffer isn't a minor character in this. She has a major lead, pages and pages of dialogue. And she's better than a couple of the other actresses!

    • Schiffer (1, 2)

    Nurse Betty. Came out today on VHS, but the DVD is delayed five weeks. No nudity. I was looking forward to this movie, having heard and read some good things about it, but I found that there were a few good moments and some interesting performances lost in what I thought was a weak comedy. But at least it was something a little different. Not my kind of movie, but much better than the other movies this week.

    Graphic Response
  • Ione Skye 'New to me' nudity from 1989's "The Rachel Papers". In this UK movie, Ione has several sex scenes and a nearly full frontal bath tub scene. A great find by GR!

  • Info from Aussie
    The Andrea Thompson caps are real---I first sent 'caps to Scoop a few years ago when I was first starting on the Net.

    I still have the video "Manhattan Gigolo"---which is very old and not in the best condition. I have much better equipment now and a little better knowhow on doing scans/caps/mpg's etc so I might see about getting you some better versions from the tape.

    Anyway you can rest easy about the Thompson caps, that's her, and that movie was just this side of porno! Her career was just getting started when she did that Italian flick.

    Rasslin with Crow
    Trish Stratus
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Stephanie McMahon

    All of the usual cleavage, pokies, and thongs from WWF No Way Out. In Trish #4, you see Stephanie give Trish a spanking. I don't follow rasslin' but I guess that's news.

    Kat Caught topless at Armageddon.

    Brittany Valenta
    (1, 2)
    Keeping the boob count are highlights from a few Skinemax movies.

    In her only two movies, Brittany delivers frontal and rear nudity. #1 is a collage featuring her scenes from "Sexually Bewitched", and #2 is Brittany in "Pleasureville".

    Kim Yates
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    Vidcaps from the following movies:
  • The Alien Files - link #4
  • Loveblind - links #1 and 2
  • Nightcap - link #5
  • Teach Me Tonight - link #3
  • Secret Pleasures - links #6 and 7

    All feature Kim topless, and all but link #2 have rear nudity as well. Sorry, no frontal.

  • and ...
    Kirsten Dunst
    (1 2)
    This landed in my inbox today and I think Kirsten fans will enjoy. This scene is from her upcoming movie "Crazy/Beautiful" (due out in May), and features some very nice pokies!

    #1 is the original that was sent in. #2 is the same image only enlarged (the quality blows, but the pokiosity level is still very high).

    Salma Hayek A beautiful (and huge) new scan of Salma just barely keeping her boobs in her dress. Thanks to JAL.
    Michelle Bauer
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    A mini-retrospective for a B-movie Hall of Famer. Michelle began her B-movie career 20 years ago and has since appeared in over 100 movies. In 1981, she appeared as a centerfold of the month for a non-bunny magazine, and even as she hit the big 4-0 in 1998, she was still taking off her clothes for the camera.

    Michele, the Fun House salutes you.

    Here are a few highlights from her career.

  • Link #1 Topless,and thong views from 1991's "Evil Toons", by Helcrom
  • Links #2 and #3 Feature Michelle topless, thong views, being groped, and being lubed up in scenes from 1995's "Bikini Drive-In", also by Helcrom.
  • Links #4 and #5 Are by UC99 and once again show Michelle topless (plus some minor groping). These vidcaps are from the Fred Olen Ray classic, 1994's "Dinosaur Island".

  • Anouschka Renzi

    Céline Milliat-Baumgartner

    Rita Moreno

    Anouschka Renzi is a German actress appearing topless in the softcore French movie "Dark Desires: Anna".

    Also going topless in a French film. This one is called "Dormez, je le veux!"

    Rita Moreno seen here as a mostly nude stripper in 1969's "Marlowe". A great find.

    Vidcaps by Jotell.

    Barbara Guillaume
    (1, 2)


    Great scans of topless fashion babes, by Black Sheep.

    Claudia Liptai The Hungarian actress appearing topless in FHM.

    Jessica Lange Breast exposure, and far of rear and frontal nudity from the movie "Frances". 'Caps by DeVo.

    Sandrine Kiberlain From the 1994 French movie "Les Patriotes". Very nice topless and frontal nudity by UC99.

    Isabelle Huppert One more from UC99...vidcaps from the 1983 French movie "La Femme de mon pote". Rear nudity plus some brief breast exposure.

    The Funnies
  • From Number 6...I think this is the most disgusting calendar I have even seen.

  • A Language Lesson

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