* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Soft Beds, Hard Battles

Soft Beds, Hard Battles (1974) is a Peter Sellers spoof.  It is not easy to find. I screened a UK copy, rated "12 and above for some moderate language, some moderate references to sex and infrequent, mild, comic violence." Interestingly, they didn't consider breast exposure of four women worth mentioning!

Peter and the nice ladies of a French bawdy-house win WW II nearly by themselves. Of course, it is made somewhat easier by the fact that Peter Sellers plays nearly all the male characters in the film, including Hitler. When the German occupation of Paris is imminent, Madame Grenier explains to her girls that even Germans are men, and that they should know perfectly well how to deal with men. Peter Sellers in one of his roles makes life more difficult as an undercover English officer when he kills an important German, and leaves the body for the girls to deal with. The girls continue to help the war effort despite the best efforts of an inept Gestapo officer.

The film is full of physical humor, killer fart jokes, Peter Sellers mugging for the camera, and, thankfully, lots of breasts. Peter Sellers fans will enjoy it, and some like me might find it occasionally amusing.  In fact, I am embarrassed to admit that I found it laugh-out-loud funny in parts.


IMDb readers say 4.5, but based on very few votes.


Gabriella Licudi



Daphne Lawson



Hylette Adolphe



Rula Lenska











Country Cuzzins

Today we have another sexploitation western, Country Cuzzins, for which the Time Machine went all the way back to 1970. This one stars a genre icon, Rene Bond, in the days before her boob job. Rene, who was a regular in these kind of films, displays all her full frontal charms in this particular flick.

Caps and four clips.








The Quiet

The film tells the story of deaf teenager Dot (Camilla Belle), who goes to live with a foster family after the death of her father. The parents (Martin Donovan and Edie Falco) welcome her, but their angry-cheerleader daughter, Nina (Elisha Cuthbert), does not. In fact, she goes out of her way to treat her new "sister" like an emotional punching bag, but it's not long before we find out why.

This movie feels like something straight out of the late 80s or early 90s. It has some shocking moments, but it never really fulfills its potential.



Edie Falco



Elisha Cuthbert










The 2007 Goya Awards

Yo soy la Juani


Sinopsis: Juani (Verónica Echegui) tiene problemas en su casa y discute con su novio, no hay quien le aguante. Están juntos desde los quince años, sus celos y sus indecisiones son insoportables. Juani explota, lo deja y decide hacer todo lo que no ha hecho mientras ha estado perdiendo el tiempo con él. Harta de conformarse y de tanta tontería, lo que ella quiere es ir adelante y triunfar en esta vida. Va a ser actriz y que nadie lo dude porque lo conseguirá, que quede muy claro, ella es la Juani y ya puede con todo.

Luego dicen los criticos de cine que el cine español esta en declive... normal con este tipo de películas, no merece la pena en comentarla, lo mejor sin lugar de dudas los desnudos de Verónica Echegui.

Nominada a:

Mejor Actriz Revelación: Verónica Echegui


Juani is a small-town girl who has problems at home with her total dud of a boyfriend. They have been together for fifteen years, and she is tired of his jealousy and his unbearable desire to control her, so she and a friend set out for Madrid to live out their dreams. Juani wants to be an actress, and to experience everything she missed in the fifteen years with her loser boyfriend.

This is the type of film that causes the intellectual critics to mourn the decline of cinema. It really doesn't merit any comment. The best thing about it, by far, is the nudity from gorgeous Verónica Echegui.

It was nominated for:

  • Best New Actress (Veronica Echegui)



Laya Marti




Joana Lopez




Verónica Echegui









Notes and collages

Hellraiser VII

...the scene of her covered in blood may cause me to actually see this film because she spends most of her time trying to pull a butcher's knife out of her back; I'm curious is to how that was her concern instead of not being extremely dead.
Kari Wuhrer






Down to the Bone

Unfortunately, some of the best drama tends to be unpleasant or depressing, and this 2004 drama is not an exception. It is, however, a very well done story about everyday people trying to cope with drug problems.

Irene (Vera Farmiga) is a mother whose marriage is not going well, whose dead-end job as a supermarket cashier is sheer drudgery, and whose coke habit and drunken pothead husband are dragging her further into a black hole.

Struggling to save her marriage and her family, she checks into a rehab facility and is befriended by a male nurse who is himself a recovering heroin addict, 5 years straight. The friendship soon leads to an affair, but with all the pressures on both of them, they both relapse and must face trying to get straight all over again.

This is a tragic but poignant tale that doesn't necessarily have a happy ending, but does have a realistic one.

Vera Farmiga







La Lohan shows up braless. No surprise there.

Eli Roth told the Comic Con audience in NYC that these really are the breasts of Bijou Phillips

Natalia Tena in Afterlife. She will play Tonks in the new Harry Potter film.

Rinko Kikuchi in Babel. (Zipped .avis) Chosen by the academy as one of the ten females to be honored with a best actress nomination. This nude performance was nominated in our annual best nude scenes poll, but did not place. In fact, it did not receive a single vote, which is surprising.







Pat's comments in yellow...

"American Idol" contestant Antonella Barba is being defended by Amanda Coluccio, her co-auditioner and best friend from Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Coluccio claims the photos of a woman giving a guy oral sex that appeared on the Internet are not Barba, because 'it's not her nose" and she's never had acrylic nail tips like that. As for the less raunchy photos, such as the ones allegedly of Barba posing on a toilet, Coluccio said, "It's the way this town is: Everybody knows everything about their friends. At least half the people in this town have pictures of their friends on the toilet. I've personally seen at least 20."

* And those are just the senior yearbook photos.

* Jersey girls will pose for photos on the toilet, but oral sex? Forget it!

Chan Chi, who at 107 is one of Hong Kong's oldest people, said he's been smoking for decades and really wants to quit, so if the government banned cigarette sales, maybe he could give it up. The sprightly centenarian eats a low-fat diet and exercises at dawn every day, but doesn't know why he's lived so long. He suspects it's because he was widowed during World War II and hasn't had sex since he was 30.

* Is he sure it doesn't just FEEL like 107 years?

Retired teacher Leszek Szwerowski, 61, of Warsaw, Poland, is suing the organizers of the 2003 World Sex Championships. He took part in a contest in which three young women had sex with as many men as they could over several hours. He says he was told his face would be pixilated in the video to hide his identity, but it wasn't. Eventually, his nephew saw the DVD, recognized him and told the whole family. Szwerowski is suing for $5,000 (US) damages for his embarrassment.

* His family must be hard to embarrass if his nephew didn't mind telling his mom that he watches amateur porn DVDs.

* Most 61-year-old men who have sex with several young women for hours at a time would want EVERYBODY to know about it!