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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk: expanded format.
* Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Soft Beds, Hard Battles
Soft Beds, Hard Battles (1974) is a Peter Sellers spoof. It is not
easy to find. I screened a UK copy, rated "12 and above for some moderate
language, some moderate references to sex and infrequent, mild, comic
violence." Interestingly, they didn't consider breast exposure of four women
worth mentioning!
Peter and
the nice ladies of a French bawdy-house win WW II nearly by themselves. Of
course, it is made somewhat easier by the fact that Peter Sellers plays nearly
all the male characters in the film, including Hitler. When the German
occupation of Paris is imminent, Madame Grenier explains to her girls that
even Germans are men, and that they should know perfectly well how to deal
with men. Peter Sellers in one of his roles makes life more difficult as an
undercover English officer when he kills an important German, and leaves the
body for the girls to deal with. The girls continue to help the war effort
despite the best efforts of an inept Gestapo officer.
The film is full of physical humor, killer fart jokes, Peter Sellers
mugging for the camera, and, thankfully, lots of breasts. Peter Sellers fans will
enjoy it, and some like me might find it occasionally amusing. In fact,
I am embarrassed to admit that I found it laugh-out-loud funny in parts.
C-
IMDb readers say 4.5, but based on very few votes.
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The Quiet
The film tells the story of deaf teenager Dot (Camilla Belle), who
goes to live with a foster family after the death of her father. The
parents (Martin Donovan and Edie Falco) welcome her, but their
angry-cheerleader daughter, Nina (Elisha Cuthbert), does not. In fact,
she goes out of her way to treat her new "sister" like an emotional
punching bag, but it's not long before we find out why.
This movie feels like something straight out of the late 80s or early
90s. It has some shocking moments, but it never really fulfills its
potential.
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The 2007 Goya Awards
Yo soy la Juani
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Español
Sinopsis: Juani (Verónica Echegui) tiene problemas en su casa y discute
con su novio, no hay quien le aguante. Están juntos desde los quince años,
sus celos y sus indecisiones son insoportables. Juani explota, lo deja y
decide hacer todo lo que no ha hecho mientras ha estado perdiendo el
tiempo con él. Harta de conformarse y de tanta tontería, lo que ella
quiere es ir adelante y triunfar en esta vida. Va a ser actriz y que nadie
lo dude porque lo conseguirá, que quede muy claro, ella es la Juani y ya
puede con todo.
Luego dicen los criticos de cine que el cine español esta en declive...
normal con este tipo de películas, no merece la pena en comentarla, lo
mejor sin lugar de dudas los desnudos de Verónica Echegui.
Nominada a:
Mejor Actriz Revelación: Verónica Echegui
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English
Juani is a small-town girl who has problems at home with her total dud
of a boyfriend. They have been together for fifteen years, and she is
tired of his jealousy and his unbearable desire to control her, so she and
a friend set out for Madrid to live out their dreams. Juani wants to be an
actress, and to experience everything she missed in the fifteen years with
her loser boyfriend.
This is the type of film that causes the intellectual critics to mourn
the decline of cinema. It really doesn't merit any comment. The best
thing about it, by far, is the nudity from gorgeous Verónica Echegui.
It was nominated for:
- Best New Actress (Veronica Echegui)
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Notes and collages
Hellraiser VII
...the scene of her covered in blood may cause me to actually see this film
because she spends most of her time trying to pull a butcher's knife out of
her back; I'm curious is to how that was her concern instead of not being
extremely dead.
| Kari Wuhrer |
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Down to the Bone
Unfortunately, some of the best drama tends to be unpleasant or
depressing, and this 2004 drama is not an exception. It is, however, a
very well done story about everyday people trying to cope with drug
problems.
Irene (Vera Farmiga) is a mother whose marriage is not going well,
whose dead-end job as a supermarket cashier is sheer drudgery, and whose
coke habit and drunken pothead husband are dragging her further into a
black hole.
Struggling to save her marriage and her family, she checks into a rehab
facility and is befriended by a male nurse who is himself a recovering
heroin addict, 5 years straight. The friendship soon leads to an affair,
but with all the pressures on both of them, they both relapse and must
face trying to get straight all over again.
This is a tragic but poignant tale that doesn't necessarily have a
happy ending, but does have a realistic one.
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Vera Farmiga |
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La Lohan shows up braless. No surprise there. |
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Eli Roth told the Comic Con audience in NYC
that these really are the breasts of Bijou Phillips
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Natalia Tena in Afterlife. She will play Tonks
in the new Harry Potter film.
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Rinko Kikuchi in Babel. (Zipped
.avis) Chosen by the academy as one of the ten females to be honored
with a best actress nomination. This nude performance was nominated in our
annual best nude scenes poll, but did not place. In fact,
it did not
receive a single vote, which is surprising.
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Pat's comments in yellow...
"American Idol" contestant Antonella Barba is being defended by Amanda
Coluccio, her co-auditioner and best friend from Point Pleasant, New Jersey.
Coluccio claims the photos of a woman giving a guy oral sex that appeared on the
Internet are not Barba, because 'it's not her nose" and she's never had acrylic
nail tips like that. As for the less raunchy photos, such as the ones allegedly
of Barba posing on a toilet, Coluccio said, "It's the way this town is:
Everybody knows everything about their friends. At least half the people in this
town have pictures of their friends on the toilet. I've personally seen at least
20."
* And those are just the senior yearbook photos.
* Jersey girls will pose for photos on the toilet, but
oral sex? Forget it!
Chan Chi, who at 107 is one of Hong Kong's oldest people, said he's been
smoking for decades and really wants to quit, so if the government banned
cigarette sales, maybe he could give it up. The sprightly centenarian eats a
low-fat diet and exercises at dawn every day, but doesn't know why he's lived so
long. He suspects it's because he was widowed during World War II and hasn't had
sex since he was 30.
* Is he sure it doesn't just FEEL like 107 years?
Retired teacher Leszek Szwerowski, 61, of Warsaw, Poland, is suing the
organizers of the 2003 World Sex Championships. He took part in a contest in
which three young women had sex with as many men as they could over several
hours. He says he was told his face would be pixilated in the video to hide his
identity, but it wasn't. Eventually, his nephew saw the DVD, recognized him and
told the whole family. Szwerowski is suing for $5,000 (US) damages for his
embarrassment.
* His family must be hard to embarrass if his nephew
didn't mind telling his mom that he watches amateur porn DVDs.
* Most 61-year-old men who have sex with several young
women for hours at a time would want EVERYBODY to know about it!
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