"Wild Side"

Wild Side (1995) stars Anne Heche as a banking executive with an interest in the emerging Asian market, an asshole of a boss, and a huge mortgage on her house. She decides to become at $1,500.00/trick call girl to pay off her debt, and meets Christopher Walken, strange as hell, but a banker on a grand scale, albeit not legal banking. He is the world's biggest money launderer. He is working on a $158Meg problem, and decides Anne Heche can help him, and his ex wife (they divorced for tax reasons) Joan Chen handle the transaction. The fly in the ointment is Walken's driver, Steven Bauer, who is a Fed, and blackmail's Heche into working with him. So Heche has a lot on her mind when she meets Joan Chen, but her path seems much clearer when she falls in love with Chen. The film is actually a feminist manafesto, kind of a Boys Club but with girls.

I first did this from the US version, and this time worked with the Region 2 Directors cut. a Sex scene between Walken and Heche was much longer in the Directors cut, but the US version seemed to have a little more material in the Heche/Chen sex scene. For this reason, I have updated the old caps, and created new ones as well. Heche shows breasts and buns at length, and Chen shows breasts, My favorite image in Heche number one, where you can clearly see Chen's hand cupping Heche's public area.

IMDb readers have this at 5.2 of 10. I see no evidence of a theatrical release. Walken's character was way over the top, and he and Bauer spent way too much time chewing the scenery, but the scenes with Heche and Chen together sizzled. This is a C-, but worth the effort from fans of Heche.

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  • Anne Heche (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
  • Anne Heche older 'caps (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Anne Heche and John Chen older 'caps (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Joan Chen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    "The Argument"

    The Argument (1999 - short)

    The only comment at IMDB states, "Lost for nearly 30 years, this short film directed by Donald Cammell is funny, allegorical, existential, but above all cinematic. It is stunningly photographed in spectacular Utah desert scenery - possibly in or around Bryce Canyon - where some rock formations are phallic and others are breast shaped; and the two characters, the scantily clad Ayesha the Witch and over-dressed Nonus the director conduct a shouted discussion on the meaning of life, sexual roles, and film making! It is perhaps a fitting epitaph to the up and down life and career of Cammell."

    Based on that, I was not even going to watch it, expecting something way too arty for my taste. Two things I didn't know. Myriam Gibril, as Ayesha, was nearly naked the entire time, and even more importantly, the cinematography was done by none other than Vilmos Zsigmond. Put a naked woman, breathtaking scenery, a camera, and Vilmos Zsigmond together, and the results are a must see. Is it artsy and highbrow? Probably, but I was entranced by the imagery all three times I watched it, and didn't really hear what they were arguing about. For anyone interested in just what can be done with a movie camera, this is a must see. However, I imagine that is a very small audience. Still, this is a C+, and is one I will show to others frequently.

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  • Myriam Gibril (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Idle Hands (1999)

    Idle Hands is a comedy/gore film somewhere along the same line of heritage as An American Werewolf in London. To extend that comparison for a minute, Idle Hands is comparable to Werewolf in terms of the grotesque and comical splatter, and in its treatment of the decaying dead as ongoing comic relief characters. Both have scary moments when they act as real horror movies, and both have moments when they seem to be parodies of horror movies. Where this movie differs from Werewolf is that it has far less drama, substituting good-natured lowbrow stoner comedy instead.

    Oh, of course it isn't a great movie. It's juvenile and, predictably, the critics hated it.

    But I like this junk movie.

    There are movies that we watch just for pure sleazy entertainment, movies like American Werewolf or The Devil's Advocate or Wild Things, films that are just meant to give us a lot of over-the-top stimulation from scares and sex and drugs and rock 'n roll. This is one such movie.

     Two reasons:

    (1) A young actor named Devon Sawa took on a remarkable physical challenge. He had to play the part of a man at war with his own right hand, which was possessed by a demon from hell. This required the kind of physical dexterity necessary to be a great pianist - the ability to move right and left hands as if they had separate minds controlling them. There seemed to be times when his right hand truly must have been a prop operated by another actor, and yet I'm pretty sure that he did it all with pure acting.

    That may sound dopey to you on the surface, but it is an accomplishment.

    I was an actor many years ago - not a good one, but I still think like one. If I were asked to play a part like this, my first thought would be, "how can I do this with enough energy to get the laughs, and yet with enough control that I don't seem like Corporal Agarn in a particularly bad episode of F Troop. I have to do all this physical schtick, and still manage to play the vulnerable teen, like Jason Biggs in American Pie. I ain't takin' this part. I'll look like a complete ass." And my first reaction would have been correct. If I had played this part when I was the right age, I would have looked like an ass. Indeed if 95% of professional performers played this part, they would come off looking like complete assholes, as Jerry Lewis proved again and again in his films. Yet, amazingly, Devon Sawa pulled this off and had me laughing at slapstick, a feat which is all but impossible, because I hate slapstick. My hat is off to the kid. He did an amazingly good job with this juvenile and impossible-to-act material.

    The year after Idle Hands, Sawa also did an excellent job in the highly regarded Final Destination (6.6 at IMDb is outstanding for a youth-oriented horror film) , but he's made some poor career choices since then. (Extreme Ops, anyone?)

    (2) Jessica Alba. It is never really possible to determine which woman among the 20ish crowd will become the beauty of her generation, as Jacqueline Bisset and Michelle Pfeiffer were among their age groups. I don't believe that anyone trying to make a prediction in 1980, or even in 1985, would have picked Michelle Pfeiffer as the one to emerge with the title from among her contemporaries. Pfeiffer managed to achieve such status through a combination of exceptional beauty, audience-friendliness, an inner radiance, elegance, a non-threatening presence, competent performances, a reasonable level of intelligence, and sheer endurance. It isn't enough just to be breathtakingly beautiful. Ask Kelly LeBrock, if you can find her.

    I can't say that Jessica Alba will push aside the contenders like Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson and become her generation's reigning beauty. Perhaps not. Perhaps Alba will simply end up as the Kelly Le Brock of her generation. She hasn't yet demonstrated either the mature temperament or the talent necessary to prevail. But I'll say this: I've been following her career for five years, and she gets more beautiful every year. And she was pretty damned gorgeous to begin with!

    • Jessica Alba. If you like a big fleshy bum, I think Alba's is much sexier than J-Lo's (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Kelly Monaco- former Recreational Companion from the Hefmag hauls out some Jumbo Jacks. (1, 2)






    There are Ken Park DVDs showing up on eBay. They say they're uncensored but run only 92 minutes compared to the 96 minute theatrical run. Most of the legitimate copies are R5 Russian PAL format. Nyet.




    It seems no one has answered your query on what happened to the filming of the sequence of Jane Fonda at the pool in La Curee, so I'll take a crack at it.

    I remember it well. Vadim was shooting the scene for La Curee in 1966.  It was a closed set.  However, there was a photographer upstairs on the observation walkway over the pool and he helped himself to the pictures we're all familiar with.  He sold the pictures to the Hef Mag and Hef sold a coupla million extra copies of the issue because of the pics. 

    Conjecture:  It was thought that Vadim actually arranged for the photographer to be there and to release the pictures for publicity, without telling Fonda.  Reports were that Fonda felt betrayed and she and Vadim had a falling out.  The rift, if any, was patched because they went on to make Barbarella and other things, and to cause a few scandals around Paris. Allegedly, the footage was never part of the released film because of the controversy.


    (Scoop's note: thanks to all those who shared their knowledge on this issue, and who answered my follow-up questions.  I used only JK's letter because it summarized the entire case.)



    Hey Scoop,
    Just wanted to let you know that Breathtaking is available on either VHS or all-region DVD at Video Search Of Miami
    It's English language with Spanish subtitles. I checked and they rate the visual quality as this should be a good source for all us Joanne Whalley lovers.  All their movies are a set price of $25.00 plus an initial $10 membership fee. I've been buying movies from them for years.  Some copies are better than others but they always tell you the quality as part of the description.  Thought you might like to pass this on.






    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Jessica Lange

    • If you haven't seen The Postman Always Rings Twice, put that on your to-do list if you are a fan of twisty, erotic film noir. It is right up there with Double Indemnity and Body Heat. (I wonder why they have never done an update of Double Indemnity  If you're really a big fan of the genre, as I am, watch the original with John Garfield and Lana Turner, then catch the Nicholson/Lange remake. The remake added enough new wrinkles that the original will not really be a spoiler. (David Mamet wrote the screenplay.) This is steamy and clever. It has Jack Nicholson, sex, violence, murder for profit, and unpredictable plot twists.  There's not much nudity, but it's a very sexy movie, with tension, top-drawer acting and photography. Here is the famous cunnilingus scene. Almost no nudity - just a quick peek of pubic hair. (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Everybody's All-American. Jessica in her prime. (.avi version, .wmv version)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Johnny Moronic
    'Caps and comments by Johnny Moronic:

    Well, while thousands of people are spending today going to see The Passion of Christ, I thought I'd spend my time doing something useful, like going down to the local video store, pick up a copy of "Wild Things 2". Little did I know that it would take 6 hours to complete, but it's done and you better enjoy it, otherwise...

    The movie is basically a complete rehash of the original, right down to the threesome, which is pretty cool, but, when the original never really took itself serious, this one has no sly winking at all and get even more ridiculous, even including the pointless plot points during the credits.

    There is occasional nudity from Leila Arcieri, but I think it was a body double, although there is a brief face shot during one of the breast scenes that was inconclusive. I'll stick with body double for now.

    • Leila Arcieri, plenty of cleavage and tight outfits. Link #5 has the nudity (stunt boobs?) and #7 is a very nice lingerie scene.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    • Leila Arcieri and Susan Ward making out in a 3-way scene. Links 6 and 7 have the nudity. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    • Susan Ward stuffed into a sports bra, showing plenty of cleavage and wearing a bikini (link #7). (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    • Katie Stuart, great bikini view in #2. (1, 2)

    Part 2 of UC99's coverage of the Tinto Brass movie "Fallo!"

    Once again, there are plenty of scenes with all 3 B's, some gyno-views and even some oral action.

    • Raffaella Ponzo (1, 2, 3)
    • Virginia Barrett (1, 2)
    • Angela Ferlaino (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Anna Friel
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Watty 'caps of the UK actress in scenes from "Me Without You" (2001). Plenty of outfits that show skin, plus toplessness in links 5, 8, 9, 10, 12 and 13.

    Florence Bellamy
    (1, 2, 3)
    Lise Danvers
    Paloma Picasso
    (1, 2)
    Pascale Christophe

    Plenty of breasts and bush in scenes from the French movie "Immoral Tales" aka "Contes immoraux" (1974).

    Parker Posey
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the indie film regular going topless in scenes from "Sleep with Me" (1994).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Come Blow Your Horne - In further fallout from Nipplegate, Janet Jackson has lost her dream movie role as Lena Horne in an ABC biopic. Horne was so outraged by Jackson's Super Bowl breast flash, she refused to sign the contract unless Janet was dumped. An ABC insider told Variety that it's "sad" because Janet was a "perfect match" for the role of Horne, and without her, the film may never be made.

  • LaToya is always available.
  • Hell, cast Michael!
  • The only sad part is that the producers have never heard of Beyonce.
  • Lena Horne was a classy, natural beauty with a rich, powerful voice...Who else could play her but Janet Jackson?
  • On the bright side, Janet did get an offer to star in a porn flick called "Lean 'n' Horny."

    If He Taped That, Bust Him For Child Porn - Rick Salomon, the man selling a tape of himself having sex with Paris Hilton, said his ideal woman would be Christina Aguilera, but he also bedded Drew Barrymore "when she was, like, 15 and I was, like, 20...I think I got her when she was pretty darn hot."

  • And not the shriveled old hag she is now.
  • So hot that she was downright illegal.
  • He's a sleazy perv who likes to have sex in front of a camera, which coincidentally makes him Christina Aguilera's ideal man.
  • In a related story, a 1,980-pound pig that recently died in China was declared to be the second-biggest pig in the world, after Rick Salomon.

    Draining The Lake - The New York Post reports that Ricki Lake has decided not to renew her TV show for a 12th season. The trash talk show outlasted a lot of competition, but Lake is said to be tired of the daily grind. She wants to return to acting.

  • She's had 11 years of practice at acting like she's not disgusted and appalled.
  • It's more like a bump and grind.
  • Besides, Jerry Springer was getting all the really big name white trash freaks.