Easy (2003) is a romantic comedy, Hollywood formula style. Marguerite Moreau has always been sexually available, but finds love a lot harder to attain than sex. She lands a date with he old poetry professor, Naveen Andrews, and is admonished by her sister not to sleep with him, because it will end up chasing him off. She does anyway, and it looks like she finally has the relationship of her dreams. Meanwhile, she meets Irish Comic Talk Show host Brian F. O'Byrne, who clearly is falling for her. So much for the "boy meets girl" first act.

In act two, Andrew's ex returns, and Moreau takes a vow of chastity. She finally decides to get together with O'Byrne, whom she has become good friends with, then sees him with another woman. Act three, of course, is where we get to happily ever after.

Moreau shows breasts and buns. IMDb scores this at 3.5 of 10, which is way too low, especially given that the average vote is 5.5. The voting indicates chick flick, teenybopper division, yet I enjoyed it. I loved Moreau, believed her relationships, and laughed out loud several times. The plot is not extraordinary, so your enjoyment of the film will relate directly to how much or little you like the characters. This is a C-, but one I enjoyed.

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  • Marguarite Moreau (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Ultimate Desires (1992):

    This film is also known as Silhouette, Silhouette de la Mort,  and Beyond the Silhouette

    ... but a bog by any other name would smell as peat ...

    Y'know, there are really only two things wrong with this erotic thriller.

    • It's not erotic.

    • It's not thrilling

    Apart from that ...

    Well, frankly, apart from that it still sucks.

    I watched it to see the nudity from Tracy Scoggins of Bab 5.

    The thriller part involves some secret group of illuminati who get together in a well-appointed board room and plan to start a new cold war. I think their basic strategy is to assassinate the President of the United States and blame it on the Russians, so that they can ... um ... do some evil stuff that can't be done unless that happens. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but it must be really evil because they can't see one another's faces in their nifty board room, although there doesn't seem to be any point to that, since they seem to know one another.

    Beastmaster is a member of the evil brotherhood, and Leon the Replicant is kind of their sadistic enforcer or something.

    The "plot" involves a brooch which keeps getting stolen and lost throughout the film. It seems to be more than a brooch, but rather some kind of smart chip that includes ... well ... plenty of top-drawer evil information, you can be sure of that. Yessireebob.

    In their pursuit of the brooch, the illuminati whack a 'tute, and this ultimately causes the hooker's defense attorney, a naive and idealistic public servant (Tracy Scoggins) to end up with the all-powerful knick-knack. Tracy plays a feckless and shy person who can't even get her landlord to fix a kitchen light switch which triggers the fire alarm throughout her entire apartment building. He fixes it the same way Henny Youngman's doctor fixed the comedian's painful arm  - "Don't use that switch." (Are you paying attention? This is going to be important.)

    Anyway, there is only one way she can figure out what is going on with the brooch: by going on all the hooker's dates ...

    Of course, there doesn't seem to be any good reason WHY she would want to find out what is going on. She could just give the brooch to the cops, but -  what the hell - I guess life as a public defender is pretty damned boring, so she likes the idea of posing as a hooker so she can get slapped around and sodomized by lowlifes and Japanese businessmen.

    Eventually Leon the Evil Replicant figures out that Tracy has the brooch, gets it from her at her apartment, and is just about to kill her sadistically when - (can you guess it?) - he turns on the light so he can enjoy watching her die. Bad move, oh, evil one! (I told you it would be important.) Within five seconds this brings the police, the national guard, the fire department, several boy scout troops in search of firefighting merit badges, and an angry landlord rapping on her door - thus sparing her life.

    The end?

    Not even close.

    It should be the end, shouldn't it? The evil guys have their brooch, and there is no more reason for them to fuck around with Tracy, because she doesn't have any idea who they are, unless she has seen Blade Runner. The movie should end there.

    Except that it is an erotic thriller, and we are 70 minutes into it with no sign of any naked human flesh, although all the female characters are prostitutes and several scenes take place in a strip club.

    So then Tracy picks up the slack. Come to think of it, she doesn't pick up much of the slack. She takes a fully dressed shower and has some modest, demure sex with Beastmaster. Although he is a Dr. Evil kind of dude bent on world domination and she's pretending to be a hooker, the sex is about what you'd see between Rock Hudson and Doris Day, except she does manage to show her chalupas briefly.

    Then the illuminati all double-cross each other, or something.

    Now it's the end.

    • Tracy Scoggins (1, 2)


    UPDATE: new volume for Tracy Scoggins

    She appeared briefly in a see-through top in an obscure 1984 film (which Tuna captured beautifully, as usual). She was already 30 at the time. She then spent a few years on commercial TV, which kept her from doing any topless scenes. By the time she wandered back into films, she was already in her late thirties, and that was the brief period when she did all of her nudity (1988-1993). Her return to broadcast TV, starting with "Lois and Clark" ended her nudity, but by that time she was already 40, so there wasn't going to be a great future in erotic thrillers anyway, despite a chest which was still impressive.

    You know her best as Captain Lochley of Babylon 5.

    She's back in movies again now, but since she is 50 something years old, it's a reasonable guess that she's going to keep her shirt on unless she develops a severe case of Mimi Rogers Syndrome.

    Her career has spurred a brand new volume in the Encyclopedia, Volume S. Check it out. (Highlighted in yellow)


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Here are the final results and comments for last week's poll Best All Time Television Comedy

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

    Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...3 babes gettin' it on in scenes from the "Ex-Girlfriends" episode of the late night cable series "Love Street".

    DeadLamb 'caps featuring the opening credits from the new season of "The L Word". All of the ladies look very hot, and of course Mia Kirshner is topless.

    Magicman takes us back in time with these comments and hardcore 'caps about a movie from the "Golden Age of Porn".

    Seduction of Lyn Carter
    Andrea True appeared in over 60 adult movies beginning in 1970, but "The Seduction of Lyn Carter" was her defining role. She never looked better or acted with more conviction. The movie was released in 1974 which was the early days of the Golden Age of Porn, but this film is nevertheless a classic and is regarded by many as one of the top 100 films of the period.

    One year after the release of this movie, Andrea True burst upon the music scene as a popular singer with a disco album that featured the hit song "More, More, More (How Do You Like It)" and she followed that up with another album before coming down with an illness that severely effected her vocal cords. She retired from the adult business in 1983 and moved back to her home in Nashville where she worked as an astrologer while doing community work in the area.

    The movie was originally released in an 84 minute adult theatrical version which these caps were taken from. It was later re-edited to 76 minute home video film. There are several things of note for anyone who can find the movie to watch. First there are only five people in the cast and Andrea and Jamie Gillis are practically having non-stop sex from most of the film so it's a real treat from fans of Andrea. Second, the movie reflects the 70's period in many ways including the psychedelic wallpaper on the main set and watching Andrea get stoned on one puff of a joint. The movie lists the spelling as Lyn (not Lynn) although many historians of the period (and the boxcover of the movie) refer to the incorrect spelling.

    • Andrea True (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    This 2003 thriller from Germany provides a shocking ending in the last 20 seconds, and a decent enough ride along the way.

    Lukas has a job with social services delivering food to the elderly. He's a nice enough young man, but very shallow and insecure, with no girl friend. One day while on a bus, a beautiful young woman drops a note in his lap asking for help.

    Once he catches up to her, they start a weird on-again off-again romance as she flits in and out of his life. But the bigger problem is that Lukas, falling very much love, finds that she has many, many flaws, and perhaps a very cold heart.

    Cool thriller, and the last 20 seconds will send you into shock.

    Jennfier Garner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Ahh the wonderbra, one of man's greatest inventions. Here are some HDTV 'caps featuring Garner's Goodies on Wednesday night's episode of "Alias".

    Cameron Diaz
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Watty 'caps of the "Charlie's Angels" star showing cleavage and a very brief nipple sighting in scenes from "Gangs of New York".

    Lavinia Wilson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    A little Euro-nudity from the Skinmeister as he also serves up some 'caps of the German actress topless in scenes from "Schussangst" aka "Gun-shy" (2003)

    Mail Bag
    Subject: Brittany Daniel

    Do you know if anyone has 'caps of the new "Hillside Strangler" movie that stars Ms. Daniel? Apparently she has a number of scenes where she shows us "never before seen" parts of her...


    Jr's reply:
    According to what I've read online, Daniel does bare breasts and bum and has a sex scene, a shower scene and a 3-way scene. However, it seems that this movie does not have a distributor yet, and is only playing at film festivals.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    He Feels Like Alex Trebek - Dr. Burton Sultan of Manhattan is suing his upstairs neighbor Sean Connery for $30 million, alleging he's a bully who's trying to force Sultan's family out of the six-story Tudor townhouse they share. Sultan says Connery is the source of constant noise, water leaks, foul fumes and a rat infestation; is nearly $16,000 behind in maintenance and utility payments; and harasses his family by playing loud music at all hours and "stomping about." When Sultan's daughter once asked him to keep it down, he cursed her and slammed the door in her face. The lawsuit says, "Connery's appearance and behavior was that of a rude, foul-mouthed, fat old man."

  • That's not right...He forgot "bald."
  • In fact, he is PERSONALLY the source of noise, leaks and foul fumes.
  • He thinks his license to kill also gives him a license to be a jackass.
  • If I were Dr. Sultan, I'd sell my part of the house to Snoop Dogg.

    Endorsed By Male Mice - Researcher Jeremy Mao of the University of Illinois in Chicago has created natural breast implants that could hold up better than artificial ones. He used human stem cells to grow fat tissue, molded it using a hydrogel scaffolding, and implanted it into lab mice. After four weeks, the implants had maintained their size and shape. He said they could replace saline and silicone breast implants within a decade.

  • Finally, an argument for funding stem cell research that we can ALL support!
  • Some people have already had so much plastic surgery, their stem cells are made of silicone.

    Comes With Orange Juice-Flavored Pepsi - A Papa John's in Louisville, Kentucky, is test-marketing breakfast pizzas, which may expand to other outlets if they prove popular. For years, bachelors have breakfasted on cold pizza, but these are six-inch pizza pastries and omelettes, such as a pizza crust topped with eggs, cheese, sausage and green pepper.

  • They rejected my idea: The Breakfast Burrito Pizza.
  • Denny's is fighting back by offering a regular pizza with syrup on it.
  • They're better if you take them home and leave them in the refrigerator overnight.