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Surviving My Mother
(2007)
I'll take a page from Bill Maher on this one
New rule:
Nobody can make Almodóvar movies except
Almodóvar.
This one is basically a Canadian hybrid between All About My Mother and
Volver. Even the title sounds like an Almodóvar title. Unfortunately, without the unique
sensibilities of the flamboyant Spanish stylist, and lacking roots in the
peculiarities of Spanish culture, an Almodóvar movie seems downright silly.
Like this one.
A Canadian Almodóvar movie.
Because you know how flamboyant Canadians are!
Here's my full review.
(Which is not that full because it's such a shallow and jejune movie that one
does not care to pick it apart or even to dwell on it at all.)
The film has exactly one redeeming point. Caroline Dhavernas removes her
clothes a few times. Here are the film
clips of the lovely Caroline. And below are some collages. She doesn't photograph as well in stills as she
does in motion because a large portion of her charm comes from her ready
smile, the animation in her face, and the sensitive expressions in her blue
eyes. (I guess you've noticed that I like her!)
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Sexual Matrix
(2000)
Sexual Matrix is a titty flick, which has a premise
rather than a plot. A college professor/researcher and his female assistant
interview and record brain waves of people relating their fantasies, and then
the machine he has developed plays the fantasy back in virtual reality, much
to the enjoyment of the research subjects, all of whom are in their 30s, and
most of whom have after-market breasts.
Nudity is provided by Mia Zottoli, Regina Russell, Gina Ryder & Amy LaRue,
Amber Newman, Sandy Wasko, Michelle von Flotow, Zoe Paul, Elizabeth Patrick,
Caroline Key Johnson and Lisa Comshaw.
IMDb readers say 3.7 with only 95 votes. If a boob parade is your idea of
entertainment, this film has a lot of semi-famous ones. If you look for more
in a film, look elsewhere.
Mia Zottoli 8
Regina Russell 14
Gina Ryder and Amy LaRue 11
Gina Ryder 19
Amy LaRue 19
Amber Newman 14
Sandy Wasko 19
Michelle von Flotow 8
Elizabeth Patrick 10
Caroline Key Johnson 16
Lisa Comshaw 10
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Eden Quest
These clips are from a videotape entitled Pamela Anderson: Edenquest. That
they came off a videotape means the clips are not exactly crystal clear and
wonderful. Nope, they sure aren't. But they do include not only Pammy but four
or five other women you might know. There is Leeann Tweeden showing more skin
than usual, Alexandra Kabi (who was a bikini model of some fame back in the
90's), Raquel Gardner of Species II fame (in that movie she is in the middle of
boffing a male mamber of the Species when he reverted to his true form) and
Rosie Tennison, model and identical twin of former Hefmate Rene Tennison. A
couple other gals show up but show little. So the clips are better than nothing
and the gals are sorta semi-famous. Worth a look, I figured.
Today's featured women:
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Notes and collages
King Kong
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Jessica Lange
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Scoop's note: this was Jessica's screen
debut, and you would never have guessed that she would go on to be one of
the most respected actresses of her generation. She was so bad in this
that it was many years before she would get a second role. But she's a
very smart woman with an excellent work ethic, and she eventually overcame
her lack of native acting talent. |
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The two latest efforts from two well-established French actresses:
Scoop's note: Here
are a couple of sample captures of Ms. Jacob from LC's video
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Chaos
(2005)
I didn't hate this action/thriller, because I like Jason Statham, but
it's somewhat flawed, especially at the end, where they try too hard to
confuse and surprise the viewer, until you get the sense that the
filmmakers just lost track of things.
A cop (Statham) is suspended after being involved in a hostage
situation where the hostage dies at police hands. However, he's quickly
reinstated when the head of a gang, calling himself Lorenz (Wesley Snipes)
holds hostages at a bank and demands the disgraced cop head negotiations.
It doesn't go well, ending in a giant explosion.
Strangely, the cops discover that nothing was taken from the bank. Only
later, while chasing the bad guys, do the cops discover that a computer
virus planted during the hostage crisis is quietly stealing millions from
all the bank's customers, a few dollars at a time so no one notices. Then,
they discover that Lorenz is killing his accomplices one by one, before
the cops can get to them.
A nice action flick with some interesting twists and good cast just
kind of collapses into a mishmash at the end, but it still was enjoyable.
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| Natassia Malthe |
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Three sets of clips from Lonely Hearts:
Alice Krige,
Shannon Murphy, and
Salma Hayek (no nudity).
A film clip of Tara
Fitzgerald in A Man of No Importance
Ulla Jacobsson is a Swedish actress born in the late 1920s who became famous for
two things:
(1) She starred in the first Ingmar Bergman film to receive international
acclaim: Smiles of a Summer Night. Here's a great story about Smiles of a Summer
Night from IMDb:
It was submitted for the Cannes film festival without its creator's knowledge.
The film was nominated for the Golden Palm and won the Award for Best Poetic
Humor. Bergman describes how he found out about his movie's international
recognition: "I was sitting on the toilet reading a morning newspaper. One of
the articles was entitled, The Great Victory for Swedish Cinema at Cannes. I
thought, "What wonderful news. What is the movie?" And then I read the title,
Smiles of a Summer Night by Ingmar Bergman." He then recalls how poor he was
then and how he borrowed the money for a ticket to Cannes from Bibi Anderson,
whom he dated at the time.
(2) Even before that, Ulla performed one of the first nude scenes seen in Europe
after WW2, in One Summer
of Happiness. This was released in 1951 and became quite the sensation. This
was was before my time so I saw it today for the first time, as I suppose many
of you now will as well.
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