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"Love By Appointment" (1976)

If you look up strange in the dictionary, it says "See Love By Appointment." It is, I think, an Italian made-for-late-night-cable, featuring Ernest Borgnine and Robert Alda. Right off the bat, Borgnine in a porno is strange. (Some would argue that Borgnine is strange all by himself.) The film has five listed titles, no release information, and is still awaiting 5 votes at IMDB.

1) Love By Appointment
2) Natale in casa d'appuntamento
3) Christmas Time in a Brothel
4) Christmas at the Brothel
5) Holiday Hookers

I would definitely call more titles than releases or reviewers strange.

The strangest thing about it, however, is that all the on-line plot descriptions I could find were based on the information on the DVD box, which happens to be wrong -- very wrong. IMDB says comedy, and most plot summaries call it a comedy, where Borgnine and Alda are American businessmen in Europe who get into trouble spending all of their time in a high class bordello. The film is actually a character driven drama about a madam and three of her girls. Her most popular girl, played by Sylvia Dionesio, has a day job in a clothing store, goes for a weekend with Borgnine who has a heart attack before they can have sex, then quits the life and gets married. Borgnine has fallen in love with her, and wanted to marry her. The second girl actually works without pay, only once per trick, as her husband is impotent. They feel that if she only has sex once with each trick, it is not really cheating. I was not able to identify this actress (see Unknown). The third is a young wife and mother (Corinne Clery of Story of O fame) who lives in the same apartment as the bordello, and is lured into the life by the madam.

The madam has decided to retire and run off with her true love on Christmas day. She offers to get Clery another gig. The new madam, who I also could not identify, is a cheap vulgar woman who inspects and insults Clery. If you can identify the Unknown or the madam, please let me know. I really don't know how to rate this one. The story is too strong to dismiss it as a "tittie flick," but it has a lot of breast exposure. The acting was good, as was the photography and art direction. The DVD transfer was done by Image Entertainment, and they did their usual wonderful job. There are no special features at all on the DVD. I will have to resort to the Scoopy report card rating system here. If you like tittie flicks and/or Eurotrash, you will enjoy this one, so it is somewhere between B- and C+.

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  • Corinne Clery (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Sylvia Dionisio (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Madam Love (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at Valentine. Only two things you need to know: (1) shit formulaic movie (2) no T&A. It had Denise Richards and Heigl in the cast, so that was a waste of some perfectly good Jumbo Jacks.


    I also looked at Cut - yet another silly slasher film with no T&A. This one is a little more creative, has a sense of humor, and comes from Australia, but it's still the same old self-referential genre cliches started by Scream and never set aside. (This one is, like so many lately, a slasher movie about people making a slasher movie.)


    Some flesh from yet another DVD of The Hunger (I think this is the sixth one I've seen!)


    And TomCat did three projects

    • Marie Gillain in The Last Harem (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Farrah Fawcett in Saturn 3 (1, 2)
    • Supposed to be Edwige Fenech, in one of the coolest movie scenes I've ever seen. It's such a perfectly logical bawdy scene, but you won't see it soon in any American movie. Tomcat didn't know the name of the movie.

    Graphic Response
  • Jamie Lee Curtis. Brief breast and bum exposure from 1993's "Mother's Boys"

  • Brainscan
    Have seen the movie... no make that the cinema masterpiece... entitled Dinosaur Island capped many a-time before. But this was Griffin Drew's first appearance on film and she spends most of her screen time nekkid. My favorite scene has Griffin in a hot-tub of sorts (although in this prehistoric time, the steam falls rather than rises. Hmmm, can we say "dry ice"?). Lots of toplessness and even a bit of the hooter grope by a guy who probably couldn't get the time of day from Ms. Drew in a single's bar. What's not to like? Yes, these are truly robo-hooters (and you owe me royalties from yesterday, Junior. I copyrighted that term, you know) but they end in really nice puffies. (1, 2, 3)

    And with Senior's indulgence I put together the scenes of Jamie Luner he posted a while back. They are from the movie, Sacrifice. The boys and I find Ms. Luner to be criminally sexy.

    On to the scans. First we have a professional clothing removal engineer (now I suppose I owe you royalties, Junior). She goes by the name of Kya Ray.

    Another babe of the nude variety appears to go by the name of Satu Lappi. Honte had caps of her on his site last week. I searched the web for some indication of who she is and what she does but all I hit were sites written in a language spoken by blonde persons in a country where the sun sets in July and rises again in March. Or so I am guessing.

    Thought we would end today with some paparazzi scans of a Spanish singer named Marta Botia. She has botia-cious tatas.
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Another batch of fashion babes.

    Dominique Issermann Fully nude B&W. Clear breast exposure.

    Audrey Tchekova No skin.

    Zora Starr Full frontal nudity, but she's too freaky for me.

    Avital Dicker Going topless.

    Ana Claudia Michels A nice B&W. One breast is clearly out, the other shows a hint of nipple exposure.

    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
    8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    An very interesting variety of nudes, and non-nudes. Some of these are excellent works of photography, others are...well, I'd say pointless, but I'll leave that up to the viewers.

    Here's the breakdown:

  • Non-nude: Links #3,11 and 12
  • Rear nudity: Link #1
  • Topless and possibly a little more: Links #4 and 5
  • Artistic frontal below the waist only nudity: Link #9
  • Fully nude with only breast exposure: Link #10
  • Full frontal nudity: Link #2
  • Lesbo nudity: Links #6 and 7
  • Models wearing head gear in Egypt: Link #8

  • Schmutzfink
    Shari Shattuck
    (1, 2, 3)

    Only one actress this week...Here are 'caps of Shari showing off her very nice breasts (non-original equipment) in scenes from 1991's "Immortal Sins".

    and ...
    Toni Braxton From StopMotion. Here's another look at her band-aid, I mean dress from the Grammys. If I had seen Toni before the show I believe I would have offered the following advice...

    "Toni, if you're going to wear this outfit, you should probably hit the gym and firm up up those thighs, or at least get some make up to cover the stretch marks on your ass."

    Aimee Graham Heather's sister topless in scenes from "Dance with the Devil".

    Pam Grier Full frontal nudity from the 1973 Pamsploitation movie "The Arena" (aka "Naked Warriors").

    Sabrina Setlur One of Captain Kirk's alien ho's? Possibly for this photo shoot, but in the real world she's better known as the girlfriend of tennis dude, Boris Becker.

    Melanie Hill From Watty, frontal bottomless nudity in these DVD vidcaps from "Big Brother Uncut" (the UK version).

    The Funnies
    The Circle of Life...Health Care Edition

    2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
    1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
    1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
    1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
    1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
    2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

    Click Here!