Domino (2005)

I wrote a long article about this film, although my points do not add up to a film review. I think enough has already been written about the film's seemingly drug-fueled style. What interested me was that there is nothing true about it except that Domino Harvey was a bounty hunter who came from a rich family. She was never a model, she never studied at the Actor's School, and she did not give up her rich life to become a bounty hunter. (Quite the opposite. She was living a poor life on the Mexican border, and she moved back to L.A. to get back in mommy's mansion. She became a bounty hunter because the L.A. Fire Department turned her down.)

The film is a fictionalized version of Domino Harvey's account of her life. Unfortunately, Harvey's account was already a fictionalized version of what really happened. The result is a film which is ostensibly a biopic and in reality has nothing whatever to do with Domino Harvey except what can be summed up in a one-sentence "pitch" - "Laurence Harvey's attractive, financially comfortable daughter became a bounty hunter."

Complete comments here.


Keira Knightley


The Weather Man (2005)

I'm completely unprepared to write anything worthwhile about The Weather Man at this moment. It will have to wait until tomorrow, cuz I'm late. I will say that I liked it despite its lack of sympathetic characters, and you should like it you like the intelligent, bittersweet black comedies of Alexander Payne (About Schmidt, Election). If those kinds of know-it-all smart-ass movies don't appeal to you, skip it and enjoy these pics of Robyn Moler:

Robyn Moler


Thursday (1998)

I reviewed this blatant Tarantino clone many years ago. Here's the write-up. The key point is that superdupermodel Paulina Porizkova got stark naked. (Breasts and full rear.) Here's a zipped .wmv.


Britney Redux

I was never before aware of it, but this film clip is a legitimate bit of public areola from the newly-chubby former pop tart. The actual clip is not mine, but was done by "Kitt"



Other Crap:

Create your own motivational poster!

The Art of Photo Retouching - demonstrated

Just some crazy pictures collected from the web

Virtual girlfriend (another variant on subservient chicken)

URL says it all:

Celebrity yawning

Fan letters to porn stars

  • "Recently, I started sending spoof emails to pornstars for a laugh. Most of the time they don't respond, and even when they do it's mostly pretty boring. Every once in a while though, you'll get a real gem of porno genius. All these are 100% true. "

You think it's cold where you are? Is water freezing mid-air yet? Then stop complaining.

Vic Frankenstein and other FIRST NAMES you didn't know!

  • Did you know that B.A. Baracus was actually Bosco Baracus? That Bob Redford is actually Chuck Redford?

Best pillows ever

Finland bounces U.S. Hockey from Torino in quarters

  • Cheerleader Guy submitted this, and wrote: "It is becoming apparent that US Hockey cashed in all of its chips in 1980. The US has not sniffed a medal since and will not this year after a loss to Finland today. Now that the Red Sox and the White Sox have won, are we seeing the beginnings for the next great 'curse' in the sports world? (The World Cup of hockey does not count...they are even considering trashing the tourney.) Even if the US does not win again for a hundred was worth it!"

"FBI analysts have confirmed that the latest Osama bin Laden tape, in which he claims to have won the recent record Powerball jackpot, is authentic."

Urban Legend: "Pia Zadora's performance in the stage version of The Diary of Anne Frank was so bad that when Nazi soldiers came to the house in which her character was hidden, the audience stood up and yelled: 'She's in the attic!'"

  • Status: False, but funny!

LEGOd Video Games

Hilton signs up a personal choreographer for her live appearances.

  • What? That's not odd. I used to have Martha Graham coach me on my trips to 7-Eleven.

Happy 88th birthday, Don Pardo

Life expectancies will shoot up to 100 as soon as 2030, says Stanford researcher

  • Oh, boy! And we think Social Security is in trouble now.

Al Qaeda Recruits Offered Generous Contracts, Dental Plan, Frequent Flyer Miles. Amazingly enough, that is almost true. Read the story.

Slam Dunk contest winner - from behind the glass

Hugo Weaving discussed V for Vendetta

Satire: Germans Demand Return of Hitler's Art

Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents J-Lo's butt in Blood and Wine

The official home page of Shakespeare's Plan 12 from Outer Space


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.





Class of 1984 (1982)

Class of 1984 is a crime/drama/thriller made in Canada that ended up being distributed by the film makers because nobody else would release it. Perry King plays the new band teacher at an inner city high school. His wife is expecting, and he starts the job as a dedicated teacher and pacifist. What he encounters is a war zone ruled by a gang of students, led by a very bright but equally demented kid played by Timothy van Patten. A biology teacher, played by Roddy McDowall, becomes King's friend, but is one of the casualties in the escalating war between King and van Patten.

The film is non-stop violence, but was a fair prediction of the violence that was to come in inner-city high schools. The theme has since been done many times, including the Teacher franchise, but has probably not been done better. (Thus a C+ on our scale.) Director Mark Lester used Clockwork Orange as much of his inspiration, but fleshed out the characters, and got good performances from his cast. Timothy van Patten was especially effective as the villain. Look for Michael J. Fox in an early role as one of the good students.

IMDb readers say 5.8.

Ebert loved it at 3 1/2 stars.

The nudity comes from one-time-wonder Helena Quinton, who does full frontal and rear nudity offering to become a coke whore, and breasts from an unknown in a mosh pit.

Helena Quinton



Divorce Law - Maid to Order (1993)

In this episode:

  • A rich, bored woman (Alison Hale) accuses her husband of boffing the maid (Raven Burger), and has the butler's eye witness account as proof. Unfortunately for her, that is not the only infidelity the butler can attest to.
  • Trapeze artist Michelle Trongone is being sued by her trapeze artist husband for having an affair with a clown. According to his testimony, they both climbed naked into the cannon. When the cannon went off, they were shot into the net, and were still fucking when they landed.

Again, we have farcical situations, bad accents, and lots of tits.

These are available in a 4 DVD set called "More All-Night Movies."


Alison Hale

Raven Burger

Michelle Trongone




After yesterday's really bad movie, I decided to do a couple of better movies with some familiar actresses.

Leading off is Naomi Watts in "21 Grams."  Naomi shows off her tits in the bedroom.

Christina Ricci gets "Prozac Nation" rolling in the opening scene of the movie by displaying her boobs while sitting naked  in her bedroom.





Jennifer Steele in the timeless cinema classic, Golf Balls

Beth Riesgraf in The Summer of My Deflowering. Beth is Jason Lee's fiancee and the mother of his son, Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf-Lee. (I didn't make that name up.) Very nice collages from Johnny Moronic.






Pat Reeder's comments in yellow:

A website called lets websurfers upload photos of themselves and vote on various questions based on impressions of the photos, such as "Is this person in a longterm relationship?"  An analysis revealed that the larger a woman's breasts were, the dumber people thought she was.  Knowing nothing about the women, visitors estimated that the grade point average of a student with D-cups was 0.3 points lower than that of a student with A-cups.

*  I blame this on Jessica Simpson.

*  Any woman who's surprised by this must have enormous breasts.


Wente Vineyards of California has teamed up with the 80s rock band Foreigner for a series of pre-concert wine tastings dubbed "Legends of Wine and Rock."  Wente said Foreigner approached them with the idea and
they jumped at it.  They said it was such a "natural fit" because Foreigner
fans are wine lovers.

* Foreigner is the "balls-to-the-wall," head-bangin' rock band preferred by four out of five wine connoisseurs! 

*  Foreigner fans prefer their wine like Foreigner's CDs: packaged in boxes.

*  I think I'll wait for the combination ZZ Top tour and tequila-tasting.


Lindsay Lohan told Allure that she doesn't want to be known as a Teen
Queen or a Party Girl or a Skinny Girl, but as a Serious Actress

* Okay: she's a seriously bulimic actress

* The Allure story is illustrated with photos of her posing naked on the hood of a talking Volkswagen.