Is There Sex After Marriage (1974) is a soft core, listed at IMDb as a documentary. Lori Brown is a housewife and mother, who feels overworked and ignored by her husband, but refuses sex with him except in bed at night, Anything else would be improper. She is educated by her best friend, the legendary Candy Samples and a sex therapist she plays with. Meanwhile, hubby and his best friend enjoy prostitutes Sandy Demsey and Monica Walters. Brown realizes the error of her ways, and finds hubby a much more sensitive lover than she expected.

All four women show full frontal. The acting was dismal, but the sex was not bad, and it was full of beaver and pickle. This is a C.

Updates:

There are some encyclopedia updates. About 300 new pics in Volumes D through I.

Doctor Zhivago (2002):

Zhivago is my favorite proper noun. I've written a little song about it.

My kind of noun

Zhivago is

My kind of noun

Zhivago is ...

my kind of doctor, too

doctor who

cares for you

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that Doctor Zhivago must be the most overrated book ever written.

OK, I realize that it is impossible to appreciate a work in translation, particularly a book full of poems. This is one reason why English speakers have been never been able to appreciate the genius of Pushkin, even though Russians consider him to be their Shakespeare, a man with a genius for a turn of the phrase that can make you weep in admiration of its sheer beauty when read aloud. Obviously, that poetic eloquence doesn't work well in translation. Since Boris Pasternak is obviously several levels below Pushkin in the literary pecking order, his character's translated poems seem like they were written by young girls with Monet prints on their bedroom walls. Given the translation problem, I basically overlooked the sappy poems, but my problem with this novel is that the whole story seems to have been written by one of those Monet girls. C'mon, somebody tell me the truth. Was Boris Pasternak really a man, or is that name just one of those manly pseudonyms that women were forced to use in order to get published in earlier times, like Acton Bell, George Eliot, or George Sand? This DVD has a biography of Boris Pasternak. Forget that. I want to see the results of his gender testing, like they do in the Olympics.

Here in the Movie House, we have a standard measurement which we use to calculate whether something is a chick-flick. We determine the estrogen level by subtracting the average IMDB score awarded by male voters from its counterpart among female voters. If the resulting estrogen count is 1.0 or more, we have lift-off. The chico de tutti chici, Dirty Dancing, is in orbit at 1.9 and may never be approached, but this version of Doctor Zhivago is certainly beyond the launching pad, having reached well into the stratosphere at 1.3.  It has a higher estrogen level than Steel Magnolias (1.1) and Beaches (1.2).

Think about that. It makes Steel Magnolias seem like a Dirty Harry flick. Pasternak contributed his share to that condition, and the music really closed the deal. The musical score for this mini-series is so completely syrupy it makes the musical treacle from the original Doctor Zhivago (remember Lara's Theme?) seem as hard and edgy as Depression-era delta blues.

Not only is the plot sappy, but it can be downright illogical, false to history, and even hilarious. Vladimir Nabokov pointed out:

Any intelligent Russian would see at once that the book is pro-Bolshevist and historically false, if only because it ignores the Liberal Revolution of spring, 1917, while making the saintly doctor accept with delirious joy the Bolshevist coup d'etat seven months later -- all of which is in keeping with the party line.

Leaving out politics, I regard the book as a sorry thing, clumsy, trivial, and melodramatic, with stock situations, voluptuous lawyers, unbelievable girls, and trite coincidences.

Zhivago is filled with character intersections that would embarrass Charles Dickens. For some fifteen years of his life, no matter where Zhivago goes in Russia, from an elegant restaurant in the capital, to a tiny isolated village, or to a corpse-strewn battlefield, he accidentally runs into Lara for yet another tearful reunion.

Hey, I can understand that. Russia is a small country.

A point worth noting is that the great David Lean once made a film of Doctor Zhivago. That is THE David Lean, the certified genius who made Bridge Over the River Kwai and Lawrence of Fucking Arabia, fer chrissakes. Even Lean could make nothing more than a mawkish, middling romance of this story.

Here's another point worth considering, this one aimed at you ambitious young filmmakers. If David Lean could not make a masterpiece of Doctor Zhivago, why would you want to try? For that matter, why would you want to remake any David Lean movie, whether great or merely good? Are you planning to fix something he screwed up, perhaps?

Oh, well, it is too late for those considerations. A director named Giocomo Campiatti has already decided to improve on David Lean's version of Zhivago, and he certainly pumped up the estrogen level. In fact, an estrogen score of 1.3 is right up there with Bridget Jones, the Edge of Reason. Let's look up the author of that Bridget Jones screenplay, shall we? Andrew Davies. Sounds familiar. What else has he written? Let's see: a TV adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. A TV adaptation of Vanity Fair. Both of those have estrogen scores over 1.0. What else?

Oh, yeah. The mini-series version of Doctor Zhivago.

• Keira Knightley. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) Disappointing. The scene is too dark, too grainy, too brief and too inexplicit. The problems are compounded by the fact that Keira has no breasts at all, and you can't see anything even when she is topless.

Other Crap:

• "Jeff Gannon is considering suing ... everybody ..." including you. Just send your share to me. I'll see that Jeff gets what's coming to him.
• Lawsuit alleges that Sean Connery is a rude, foul mouthed bully. I'd like to see what his defense would be. Can you just plead guilty to a lawsuit?
• Man shatters old world record for non-stop Elvis impersonation. Wife Angie said: “When he beat the record. I just cried, I was so proud.”
• The headline is innocent enough: Simpson hospitalized for stomach virus. The story is a typical gabfest about Simpson (Jessica). But the accompanying picture of Simpson indicates that she has really gotten a great tan on that Dukes of Hazzard project. Not to mention some 5 o'clock shadow.
• Pope Calls Gay Marriage Part of 'Ideology of Evil.' He had four extremely controversial points:
  • Homosexual marriages are part of 'a new ideology of evil' that is insidiously threatening society.
  • Abortion is a "legal extermination" comparable to attempts to wipe out Jews and other groups in the 20th century.
  • The Turkish gunman who shot him in 1981 did not act alone and the former Communist Bloc may have been behind the plot to kill him.
  • Ben Affleck was da bomb in Phantoms.
• The history of the electronic media, as written in 2014.
• Here's the home page for the new Broadway show, Monty Python's SpamAlot
• A U.S. appeals court on Tuesday said that FCC regulators had overstepped their authority by imposing a rule designed to limit the copying of digital television programs.
• Network Of Free, Ad-Sponsored Hotspots Launched. Is national free internet access (ad sponsored) close to reality?
• The Racial Slur Database
• The famous Paris Hilton Sidekick Address Book, pics, etc. (There are some topless pics in there as well.)
• MANties - Panties made just for men. No men I know.
• If you missed your opportunity to mess around with Jessica Alba, here's a great fanpage to stay abreast of her. Personally, I'm relieved that she's settled down and won't be callin' me any more. Girl was forcing me to tap into our nation's strategic Viagra reserve.
• Jessica Alba Says She's Done Sleeping Around In Hollywood. She hears that the motels in Orange County are much nicer.
• The Peeper is back on TV .
  • He's now married to Suzanne Pleshette. I didn't know that. It's quite a story. They were together as a couple when they were struggling actors in the late 50s, but their careers separated them. They each married other people, worked together on Newhart for years (as friends only), then reunited some 40 years after they stopped being a couple!
  • Poston has been on TV since the mid 50s. He won an Emmy 46 years ago!
• AICN reviews the Clone Wars DVD and discusses the TV projects for the Star Wars franchise. Will Mark Hamill play an elderly Jedi? Will Kevin Smith write the project?
• Have you been postponing the start of your career as a penis model? When are you gonna do something for yourself?
• star38.com - never trust caller ID again
• Here's the trailer and many stills from Guess Who, which is kind of a comedic remake of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, with the roles reversed (black family, white guest). It stars Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher.
• From the strange concepts department: There will be a remake of Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House - with Ice Cube replacing Cary Grant
• Ben Affleck will play 50's TV Superman George Reeves in Truth, Justice and the American Way, a biopic/mortopic which may actually have some promise. Affleck seems to be cast well. Diane Lane and Adrian Brody will co-star.
• The Weekend Warrior's predictions for this weekend. He says Hitch will hang on for a third week, with Constantine dropping to number three to make room for Cursed. He thinks those three will finish in a virtual dead heat, with all other films far behind.
• This week's movies: Diary of a Mad Black Woman - 33% positive reviews. "An awful hybrid of Big Momma’s House and The Burning Bed – two films that go together like peanut butter and pubic lice."
• This week's movies: Man of the House - no rating yet. This is the movie where Tommy Lee Jones plays a crusty old Federal Agent (there's a stretch for Tommy Lee, eh?) who has to guard some cheerleaders. A lot of it was filmed here in the Austin area.
• This week's new movies: Cursed - no rating yet. This is Wes Craven's new horror flick, starring Portia DeRossi, Christina Ricci, Judy Greer, and Shannon Elizabeth. It has had a troubled history, and was originally scheduled to be released in the summer of 2003.
• What happens to a series with high respect and low ratings?
• Will Washington split into two states?
• Fever pitch auction for Travolta disco floor from Saturday Night Fever
• Video: Guy pretends to be a bathroom attendant - at McDonald's
• Halle Berry says she might attend the Razzie Awards
• Cher says Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez are 'hoes'.
• "A parent's primer to computer slang"
• Letterman's Top Ten Good Things About Having The Same Name As A President.
  • Thomas Jefferson: "When I show up at Colonial Williamsburg, I get more tail than Frank Sinatra.
• MALE ESCORT INFILTRATES AL-QAEDA. Bin Laden Promises Overhaul of Clearance Procedures.
  • Appearing on the Arabic-language television network Al-Jazeera, a red-faced Mr. bin Laden acknowledged that the high-ranking terrorist known to his al-Qaeda comrades as Fawzi Khalid Al-Mutairi was actually Jeff Guckert, a male escort with no terrorist background whatsoever.

    According to sources within the terror network, Mr. Guckert distinguished himself at press conferences by lobbing softball questions Mr. bin Laden’s way, such as, “Don’t you think it’s only a matter of time before we destroy the American infidels?” and “Isn’t it ironic that they call us evildoers when they are really the evil ones, and not us?”

• Oscar's hottest contest. Which old geezer will get a sentimental, undeserved Best Director? Oh, I'm being mean. Scorsese does deserve recognition for The Aviator. That probably was the greatest directorial achievement of the year. Scorsese did a remarkable job of pulling together all the details of a spectacular movie. Unfortunately, it looks like he may lose Best Director, although his film may undeservedly win Best Picture (It probably shouldn't even have been nominated. Hell, among 2004 films with 500 or more votes, it currently ranks no higher than a tie for 35th at IMDb. Frankly, it is occupying a position which should have gone to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.)
• Weekly World News: "MINISTER TOUTS 'JESUS CONDOMS' TO END TEENAGE SEX"

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Comments and zipped .wmv vids by Striplight:

• First up we have streaker Sheila Nicholls. She’s in the Fun House under this name but described as a soccer streaker. Not hardly, she’s doing her stuff at a cricket match, where the BBC kindly provided a number of cameras – which is why the clip shows some of the footage again from a different angle. Watch out for the reaction of the umpire (elderly gentleman in hat) in the background when she does the cartwheel.
• Closely followed by Maruschka Detmers in the “Devil in the Flesh”, this needs no introduction, it’s a fine piece of work.

Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.

Today from the Ghost...a few video clips from the direct to vid flick "Bare Witness" (2002), starring Angie Everhart and the lesser of all Baldwins, Daniel.

• Angie Everhart (zipped .wmvs). Topless in a slow sex scene. (1, 2)

• Catalina Larranaga (zipped .wmvs). Baring all 3 B's! (1, 2)

• Lauren Reina (zipped .wmv) the sexiest girls in this movie if you ask me. Here she is riding a dude.

Here's another batch of caps from Euro TV:

On the episode "Liebeswahn", Antonia Reß had a nude scene, but her nipples wer covered with tape. If you didn't look close enough, you got the idea she has square nipples! On the same episode, we saw Katrin Brockmann down to bra and panties.

The episode "Folter" featured the best nudity so far; Katrin Brockmann and Antonia Reß went for some topless swimming. Very nice and clear breast views from Katrin, only a quick flash of one breast by Antonia.

On the very last episode, Nele Jonca showed some partial breast views in a love scene.

Eliane Chappuis
(1, 2)

Eliane Chappuis is an interesting actress...on her official website she gives you her Swiss bank account numbers in case you want to "Sponsor her talent".

PARIS AND NICOLE SPARK FUNERAL HOME COMPLAINTS
Making Ashes Of Themselves - Kohler Funeral Home in Wood-Ridge, New Jersey, got complaints for letting Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (while working as interns for "The Simple Life") spill what appeared to be someone's ashes and clean them up with a vacuum cleaner. Some locals called it tasteless, but the owner said it was just a mixture of cat litter and cement, and Paris and Nicole never touched any human bodies in any of the scenes.