Dead & Rotting (2002) is a straight to vid horror film. Three buddies get into a pissing contest with a witch, and they hire two stoners to break her windows to get even. The stoners kill her cat, who also happens to be her son, so she takes a beauty bath and turns into Debbie Rochon. She seduces the three buddies, turns their sperm into demons, then sets about doing them in one at a time. Finally, the last of the three, and one of the stoners, go to another witch for some ammunition.

Rochon shows breasts in the beauty bath. IMDB readers have this at 4.1 of 10. Surprisingly, it is in a widescreen format, and has lots of special features, including featurettes, make-up art, and poster art. This is not a good effort, but it is mercifully short at 72 minutes. Even giving them bonus points for a naked Rochon, this is a D-.

.mpg clip:

• This short clip of Buffy is floating around the web as a nipple-slip. I played it frame-by frame, and decided that it is just the fabric of her dress, but here it is, so you can make up your own mind.

OTHER CRAP:

• Clint Eastwood's Mystic River wins "best foreign film" at the Cesar Awards
• Do you speak like a Yankee or Reb?
• Lawmakers Protest Amish Reality Series. Obviously, their opinions have been swayed by the all-powerful Buggy Manufacturer's Lobby.
• George Steinbrenner buys Fenway Park, ejects Red Sox. Steinbrenner did acknowledge that in order to pay for the A-Rod acquisition, he'd have to outsource second base to India.
• "Mickey's Taliban Adventures" is the name of an exhibit in an art exhibit in Edinburgh. The sculpture shows Mickey Mouse flying an airplane into the World Trade Centre.
• A very short clip of the best 30 seconds in the Paris Hilton video
• Great link, Have you, like everyone else, wondered why nobody ever gets to go upstairs at Graceland? Even President Clinton was turned down. But the internet is vast, and some pictures exist. For the first time, see the upstairs at Graceland
• Piazza is still not a gay catcher. He's now playing first base, and he says he's a manly guy.
• 500 pound female opera singer gores a puny tenor with her horned hat. This WWN story even has names for the alleged singers.
• More sample vids and captures from the Paris Hilton video
• Nostalgia: Painter behind 'See Rock City' barn signs dies at 89: Clark Byers, who braved charging bulls, slippery roofs and lightning bolts to paint 'See Rock City' on 900 barns across the South from 1937 to 1969, died this week. He was 89. He is succeeded by one son who painted all those South of the Border billboards, and another son who did the Wall Drug signs.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Various:

• When Heather Graham retires, she won't have a mantel teeming with Oscars. Her Rollergirl now seems like the ultimate one role career. She's like the Ray Milland of our time. Here she is, performing with another famous one-role wonder, ol' Shakespeare himself, in "Killing Me Softly". In this case, she was doing scenes for which she was MORE than qualified. (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Kathleen Turner never really achieved the screen sex goddess status promised by her sexy movie debut in Body Heat, but she still had a great career. Along the way, she tried to ditch femme fatale typecasting by playing in tamer movies like Romancing the Stone and Peggy Sue Got Married. I suppose her second sexiest role was probably the voice work she did for Jessica Rabbit. On the other hand, she did some pretty damned hot sex scenes here in Julia and Julia  (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Back when she did Windrider, Nicole Kidman didn't even look like the same woman. She had only a tiny fraction of her current elegance, she wasn't as fit as she is now, she always had a bad hair day, and - well - let's just be kind and say her face has changed since then. On the other hand, she was already aware of the sexual allure of her bum. (.avi version, .wmv version)

• Mathilda May is another woman whose face improved dramatically as she moved into her 30s. Her face was far more beautiful when she was 32, in The Jackal, than when she was 20, in Lifeforce. But a face isn't everything. You have to say that her breasts looked about as good in Lifeforce as any natural breasts have ever looked on screen. She competes with Connelly and the other legit candidates for best chest ever. (.avi version, .wmv version)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

"Enterprise: episode Harbinger"
T'Pol showed dorsal nudity during the US previews but that scene was discreetly cut following Superbowl Nipplegate although Canadian trekkies reported viewing her bare Vulcan butt. As for further Enterpise nudity don't hold your hopes as it was Dr. Phlox's turn to do a nude scene in the following episode "Doctor's Order". However those starship commando babes are very sexy.

• Jolene Blalock: almost full dorsal.
• Noa Tishby: pokies and cleavage.

"Hooper" (1978)
Burt Reynolds and Sally Field comedy made before Burt trashed his acting career by marrying Loni Anderson.

• Sally Field: hot pants and tshirt, then skimpy nightgown.
• Tara Buckman: downblouse and upskirt performing very sex stunt.
• Roxanne Brewer: topless as girl jumping out birthday cake.

"Au Pair Girls" (1972)
Euro sex comedy. Say no more.

• Astrid Frank: all three B's.
• Gabrielle Drake: all three B's.

"Me and Will" (1999)
Easy Rider meets Thelma and Louise. Big busted Melissa Behr has a full nude skinnydipping scene with Sherrie Rose.

• Melissa Behr: all three B's. Mmmm... beer.

• Dawn Dunlap, showing all 3 B's (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• June Chadwick, breasts and a hint of bum. (1, 2)

• Dunlap and Chadwick both topless in a shower scene.

Next up, a few .wmvs of Jacqueline Bisset in scenes from two movies.

• Jacqueline Bisset and the Best.Wet T-shirt.Ever. Great vids of her see-thru wetness in scenes from "The Deep" (1977). (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Next, Bisset gettin' it on in 1971's "Secrets". Bisset shows off her wonderful breasts, and her moaning in #1 is well worth the download. (1, 2, 3)

"Behind the Camera: The Unauthorised Story"
Behind the Camera: The Unauthorised Story is the story behind the TV comedy Three's Company, including its eventual demise. Judy Tylor plays Suzanne Somers and shows a bit of cleavage and a brief upskirt.

• Judy Tylor

"Power"
No visible nudity in Power but Kate Capshaw comes close.

• Kate Capshaw

"Déjà Vu"
A decent bit of breast exposure by Victoria Foyt in Déjà Vu.

• Victoria Foyt

"The Todd Killings"
An unnamed girl gets her bikini top ripped off in a swimming pool and we get an eyeful.

• Unknown

"Married with Children"
Lots of cleavage and leg by Robin Angers in an episode of Married with Children called The Agony of De-Feet.

• Robin Angers

"The Blob"
A bit of cheerleader action in The Blob by Shawnee Smith, well before her boob job.

• Shawnee Smith,

"Drop the Dead Donkey"
Drop the Dead Donkey was an excellent satirical British comedy show. Letitia Dean appeared towards the end of the series doing a Marilyn Monroe impersonation as she tried to sex up the weather forecast.

• Letitia Dean

"First Knight"
Some pokies by Julia Ormond in First Knight.

• Julia Ormond

"Door to Door"
A side view of a naked Kyra Sedgwick in Door to Door, although it could be a body double.

• Kyra Sedgwick

"Once Were Warriors"
Once Were Warriors is a violent New Zealand film and we see a rear view of Mamaegaroa Kerr-Bell.

• Mamaegaroa Kerr-Bell

"Sweet Revenge"
We see Brigitte Bako in her underwear in Sweet Revenge.

• Brigitte Bako

"Achilles' Love"
Some pokies by Claudia Besso in Achilles' Love.

• Claudia Besso

"Bad Company"
Plenty of brief cleavage by Monica Henreid in Bad Company.

• Monica Henreid

"Whitewash : The Clarence Brandley Story"
A topless Kelly Turner in Whitewash : The Clarence Brandley Story.

• Kelly Turner

"Criminal Instinct"
Caroline Goodall is topless in an episode of Criminal Instinct called Love and Murder, but nothing is visible.

• Caroline Goodall

"Kerry Butler"
Some sexy views of Kerry Butler in Borough of Kings.

• Kerry Butler

"Shalom Harlow"
Some see-through views of Shalom Harlow from Fashion TV.

• Shalom Harlow

"The Man Who Wasn't There"
We see Frances McDormand getting dressed in The Man Who Wasn't There.

• Frances McDormand

"The Glow"
Some sexy shots of Portia De Rossi and some minor pokies in The Glow.

• Portia De Rossi

"Searching for Debra Winger"
There are pokies by Holly Hunter in Rosanna Arquette's documentary talk fest Searching for Debra Winger.

• Holly Hunter

"Remember Me?"
Remember Me? is a British film and there's an upskirt by Natalie Walter.

• Natalie Walter

As we were walking on the red carpet (which is actually green, thanks to Heineken), I looked to my left--which I still go to well--and saw Reuben Studdard. So I said to my wife, "There's Reuben of American Idol"...but he overheard me and said, "Hey, buddy, how's it goin'"...reached out and gave me a soul shake and pulled me towards his chest. And lemme tell ya, when some 350-pound guy in a beret pulls you toward him...you GO!!

That had the effect of depositing us on the INTERIOR red carpet--where Joan Rivers and MTV et al. interview the stars. So we stayed there and mingled for about 75 minutes...among the stars we were within 2-3 feet of and/or spoke with, were:

Alicia Keys: Absolutely beautiful up close (I could even see the tops of her areolae in her gown) with caramel-colored skin. I'd put her into my TOP FIVE most beautiful women I've encountered up close: following Vanessa Williams, Michelle Pfeiffer, Olivia Newton-John (back in 1983 in Paris) and Salma Hayek (Dec. 1999 in L.A.). But from the waist down, she's got an even bigger booty than Beyonce (which is why she always wears a top over pants) and BOTH ladies are in the J.Lo "own zip code" class when it comes to ass.

Patti Labelle: Huge breasts spilling out, and still attractive for a SIXTY YEAR OLD (come May 24th). Very sweet.

The Osbournes: Three of them were right next to us (Ozzy didn't arrive till later), and Sharon greeted me with, "Hallo darling!" (she must've thought I was ex-flame Jay Leno). And--this will surprise you--up close Kelly was actually quite pretty--beautiful milky white skin, pretty face and a billowing chest (though a bit dumpy below). Even Jack looked good!

Matthew Perry: We chatted for a couple of minutes, as he explained to me that his dad was NOT only the Irish Spring sailor "returning from the sea," but also the Old Spice guy. And I reminded him that his mom was Pierre Trudeau's former personal assistant (though I didn't mention their affair or the fact that I had a bunch of topless pictures of her :-). He was a really nice guy and looked really good--he's lost weight, had his jacket off and looked to be the picture of health. Imagine our surprise, then, when the next morning we happened to see the cover of the National Enquirer in our hotel newsstand with the headline: "MATTHEW PERRY'S DRUG HELL: FRIENDS STAR RELAPSES AND BACK IN REHAB!" Gosh, that was fast...we'd been side-by-side for several minutes only 12 hours before, and he looked terrific. Guess those demon drugs are more insidious than I realized (or perhaps the tabloids are more ludicrous than ever...except for the Weekly World News of course--I spotted at least a half dozen alien babies milling about).

Sarah McLachlan: She was standing next to Mrs. Sleuth, and Matthew leaned across us and pointed to her while proclaiming: "You're my absolute favorite singer in the world!" Said Sarah, "Thanks, Sweetie!"...then turned to her female assistant (I swear) and said in a stage whisper, "Is that the guy from Friends?" What ever happened to "I Will Remember You"? She was quite pretty (and the best singer on the telecast--along with Alison Krauss), though she has quite the mole on her lower left cheek (almost the female Enrique). But she more than made up for that, uh, beauty mark by wearing a laced-up black leather getup (which she changed out of before performing on the show). Classy lady...

Christina Aguilera: Have to admit that I was surprised just how pretty she is up close (her skin--lots of it--glistens). The sculpted black hair threw me off for a second, but drew more attention to her facial features, which are quite striking. She smiled but didn't say anything, yet even her eyes are, uh, er, piercing. And I thought her rendition of Beautiful was the second best female vocal performance of the evening, after Sarah/Alison (sorry, Celine).

Beyonce: She had quite the entourage around her, but I could see enough to tell that NONE of us is really ready for that "jelly". Like Alicia, she has gorgeously shaded skin and a stunning face...but they also share rather big booties for the rest of their bodies (at least Bee's is compensated for with a large natural chest...Ms. Keys, I noted, is probably a 32B -- and I had a very good vantage point and some expertise in the area...see "StarTistics," Vol. 11, No. 1).

Kimberly Williams: The Father of the Bride teen is, alas, now a real bride--I actually recognized her new hubby Brad Paisley first (perhaps it was the cowboy hat). But again--and as if often the case--she was much prettier in person than in photos or on screen....Kimberly was one of the prettiest women we saw all night (and a powder blue gown didn't hurt). Elephant Juice hardly does her justice...

Samuel L. Jackson: Obviously a cool dude, but a little bit full of himself. Struts when he walks...and lose the chauffeur's cap, Shaft! {Morgan Freeman called, and wants it back...).

Shania Twain: Actually bumped into her in the lobby of our hotel, the Peninsula...and she's really tiny! I guess she must be about 5' 3"...and she had no makeup on and a baseball cap, sweatshirt and jeans. But still a striking face and seemed very sweet (she was hugging a bunch of fans). My wife suggested we go up to the room rather than waiting on line...

Vivica A. Fox: This was really ironic, since 50 Cent recently took out a restraining order to keep her from stalking him (after she dumped Redskins receiver Darnarian McCants to take up with Fiffy}. Well, I know how he feels--she seemed to be stalking us...we ran into her THREE separate times--once at the Ivy Restaurant for lunch, once in Barney's of Beverly Hills and once at the Grammys. I mean, give it a rest, Girl!! I is spoken for (and not by a rapper). She wasn't wearing any makeup the first two times--just a white tank top with industrial strength bra straps sticking out (after 3 bites at the apples Sleuth can definitely report that they're real). Vivica looks like a "harder edged" Tyra Banks and, while she was laughing and joking with friends, looks like someone you don't want to cross (unless you're a bra).

Norah Jones: Looks surprisingly like a fresher Natalie Portman in person. Has talent, a famous father (albeit estranged) and I suspect, staying power. A natural beauty--as opposed to many of the manufactured starlets we saw ("arm candy").

Michelle Branch: Mrs. Sleuth took exception to my saying, "No matter what you do, some people are just plain" ... but, honestly, she can't help that she has a bit of a puddin' face and dumpling body (just goes to show how much airbrushing FHM, Maxim, Stuff et al. really do {not to mention Playboy's pictorials...which now more resemble drawings than photos}.

Ashanti: Cute, rather than beautiful in the Beyonce/Alicia league...but without excellent (and minimal) clothes sense! Quite thick in the legs, but what the hey. Still seems like the little girl from Glen Cove, Long Island (where Sleuth's first girlfriend resided).

Sean Lennon: Surprising handsome young fellow (considering Yoko provided the ' X ' ). Dapper in a white tux, I asked him if he'd be performing in the 40th anniversary of the Beatles tribute. "Performing?" he replied. "Nah, man, I'm just hanging out and hoping to have a good time." (Not likely with Yoko Braun in attendance--did you notice that she and Olivia Harrison...a classy lady...never looked at each other once?) I fully admit that I'm a total Beatles fanatic--once took an 8-hour private guided tour of Liverpool to Penny Lane, Strawberry Field (no 's' ), all their boyhood homes and even Eleanor Rigby's grave (yep--died October 10, 1939...364 days before John Lennon...and is buried at Woburn Parish Church, which is where he and Paul first met...trust me, I saw it with me own eyes). But I have to say I was disappointed in the "tribute" on the telecast...Dave Matthews (who we also met twice in our hotel lobby before the show) got the words wrong ("When I saw her dancing there...") and he, Sting, and Vince Gill looked like they hadn't rehearsed (even though Dave told me they had). Just goes to show how great the Fab Four were...40+ years later, four top musicians can't hold a candle to a little ditty Lennon & McCartney wrote in front of Paul's fireplace when they were "just 17"...

Debbie Gibson: Now wishes to be called "Deborah" and is kinda cute (though sporting a Jennifer Grey schnozz). My wife, who is far kinder than I generally, nevertheless whispered to me that, "She's got pimples all over her back" as we followed Debbie, er, Deborah into the Staples Center.

Bill Maher: Shorter than you'd expect (and, I've been told, bath averse), but gracious when I congratulated him for being one of the few not afraid to speak up and out these days (I mean, if rock is restrained and stifled, what else is there?) He said, "I really appreciate that...and thanks for noticing!" Believe me, post-Janet, anything remotely "edgy" stands out! {BTW, Justin got to appear only after he promised to apologize on the air--"It was all an accident" {yeah, sure: Cry Me a River, buddy}. Some may not know that Janet was given the same option...and declined {likely she's too busy hawking "Nipple Huggers" online}.

Tony Bennett: Honestly, the classiest act in attendance. When he won an award at the pre-telecast, he ran through a tunnel from the Staples Center (where he was rehearsing) to the Convention Center so he could dedicate it to the recently deceased Rosemary Clooney. He was breathing so heavily that every one of us was petrified he was gonna have a stroke right there...but he recovered after a few minutes. And the toupee is much better than the "squirrel days" of the ' 90s.

Speaking of deceased, the biggest blunder of the night was not Celine Dion's dead microphone {"Steeel no-thing," quacked the Quebequoise when it wouldn't work), but rather the fact that Luther lived! Naturally, we're thrilled he did, but as Father Guido Sarducci (brother of the former Surgeon General!!) might say, all he got was "one lousy Grammy"... while Warren Zevon, Johnny and June Carter Cash, George Harrison and the aforementioned aunt of George Clooney all cleaned up! As Elvis, Marilyn and even my idol Natalie Wood have proven: dying is a great "career move".

Natalie Cole: Looks younger in person...she was celebrating her FIFTY FOURTH birthday {shared with Ronald Reagan} at an adjacent table to us at the Ivy, with about 8 girlfriends. Not saying she gets along better with women, but Marriage No. 3 just officially bit the dust. She and Vivica Fox actually stood side by side outside the ladies room (one lady at a time can go in)...and hardly spoke. And, in the interests of full disclosure, Sleuth examined one of Nat's brassieres for his above-noted "StarTistics" issue...and the label read "36 B". It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta...

Judge Judy: Also dining next to us (with her husband and another couple), this time at Spago. Didn't seem to want to be noticed (what?!! It's against the law?!!). Wolfgang Puck actually came over to our table FOUR TIMES and was very friendly (must have me confused with some other Sleuth). I asked if he was gonna run for governor (he and fellow Graz, Austria boy Ahnuld have been in competition for years), but Wolf laughed: "I'm not rich enough!" As if...

Joan Rivers: Words fail me. As I mentioned in my request for a video of her pre-show, Mrs. Sleuth and I were within about 20 feet of where she was interviewing. And while daughter Melissa has commendably softened her look in recent years (after a divorce), Mama is to plastic surgery what LeBron is to marketing. In fact, more than anything else she now reminds me of Snoop Dogg's very first video...when his face morphed into the snout of a canine. It's scary...even more so than Loretta Swit...who was de-planing at LAX as we were boarding a flight for Vegas. Okay...I realize that she's now 66 ...but her face has been lifted so many times and collagen pumped in so much that she currently (forgive me) more closely resembles "Twat Lips Houlihan" !

Kenny G: Sad how the mighty have fallen. He was on the red carpet with his son (around 11 and unfortunately, takes after dad) trying to get interviewed...with no takers (though Access Hollywood eventually gave in). His son was desperate to meet Reuben...but Kenny didn't want to disturb him. Finally, he meekly said, "Uh, Reuben..." and the American Idol turned around and exclaimed: "Mr G., I'm a huge fan of yours!"--um, what other kind of fan could he be? And I got the feeling he thought Kenny's last name really was "G"...I seriously doubt Gorelick is on his radar screen. But he WAS really gracious and talked to the boy for several minutes. Which was quite big of him...

Cecilia Bartoli: Nah, Sleuth hasn't gone all high brow...but the manager of the Peninsula (on whom Hector Elizondo's character was based in Pretty Woman, when he ran the Beverly Wilshire Hotel) said we had to come with him...and led us to a remote back room, where we heard these magnificent sounds emanating from behind the closed doors. It was Cecilia, the 32 yr old Italian opera singer who is generally considered to have the finest female voice in the world. She sounded MAH-velous...and we got to listen for 20-25 minutes, unobserved (she was practicing for a concert at the new Disney Fine Arts Center). Just then, the doors rattled and the prima donna came storming out...and we were busted! But instead of blowing a gasket, Cecilia was as sweet as she could be--inviting us to her upcoming concert in D.C. (we're going on Sunday) and saying we could stay and listen as long as we liked. After talking for about 6-7 minutes, I had to remark: "Why, you're not at all like a diva!" She laughed and said: "I don't have time to be a diva. It's too much work." Mrs. Sleuth later described her as "a doll"...and it just goes to show that reputation isn't always accurate.

Enough culture...I'll stop now...other sightings included: J.C. Chasez of N Sync, Jeff Goldblum (on our plane from L.A. to Vegas), James Carville (as Ragin' a Cajun as ever), Michael and Janet Jackson's father Joseph (he was really friendly, and wanted to know "how's the food here?" at the Peninsula), Joyce Van Patten (once is enough) and even Don Adams (he has a goatee now and walks with a cane...and when we passed each other, he "missed me by that much"}.

Lastly, while in Vegas I decided we should check out the Little White Chapel (where Britney got hitched for 55 hours)... for research purposes of course. Despite the sign outside: "Happily Ever After to You...When You Use Our Drive-Thru" (honest), it really isn't that tacky (and loads of couples were lined up to be wed). I mean, at least our favorite Mouseketeer didn't opt for the drive thru ("Would you like vows with that?"). And for you trivia buffs, Michael Jordan and Joan Collins were both also married in that same chapel (and we all know how well both of those turned out). Anyway, we poked our heads inside while a ceremony was about to begin and saw the gorgeous bride--supermodel quality looks--and on her arm...Peja Stojakovic!

I thought, surely he doesn't need to get married in a place like this...but maybe he thought Britney would return to collect her rice or something. Anyway, I told him I thought he was a great player and should be the MVP in the NBA this year, and he smiled and said something that sounded like, "Zanks celot". Fortunately, they later told me that he was actually the best man...but I'm wondering if his little excursion to Vegas cost him a third consecutive 3-point shooting title just TWO DAYS later back in L.A.

Now where else can you get "Inside" information like that, I ask you...

Best,
GrammySleuth