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"Black Scorpion" (1995)

Black Scorpion (1995) is a video comic book produced by Roger Corman and staring Joan Severance in the title role. When her ex-cop father is killed, she is a little aggressive with the perpetrator, and is suspended from the force. She becomes the Black Scorpion, who runs around in black patent leather, a mask, fishnet stockings and some (literally) kick-as boots. The master criminal turns out to be a doctor accidentally shot by her father, which caused daddy to be kicked off the force. Joan has a thing for her police partner, and ends up practically raping him as Black Scorpion. We also have nudity from a young hooker and a very cute stripper.

Not much in the way of on-line reviews on this. 91 IMDB voters say 6.1/10. I would call that about right. The DVD features the worst commentary I have ever heard by Joan Severance. Examples:

"Oh, there he is ... that bad guy."

When seeing the stripper, "That poor girl, but she did a real good job."

On her suit, "I think people think I dress like that all the time at home."

On her mask, "We made the mask, and that is not easy. I still have it. I wear it sometimes."

The film is a masterpiece compared to the commentary track.

  • Thumbnails

  • Joan Severance (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Unknown Hooker
  • Unknown Stripper (1, 2, 3)
  • ICMS
    Anastacia Update!

    I went to a newsstand and looked at a copy of Entrevue (the source of the scans). In their editorial they wrote the following :

    "We were caught ourselves this time. The pictures we said to be of Anastacia in our November issue are of a lookalike American model. Photo agency O'Media presented us these images as 10 year old pictures of the singer and we believed them. We apologize to our readers and also to Anastacia and Sony Music for any inconvenience this may have caused."

    Or is it her after all and is she (and Sony) are denying it? The lookalike looks a lot like her, don't you think?

    Now you're completely up to date with the latest event in this case.


    Johanna ter Steege Topless 'caps plus a masturbation scene (more implied than visual) from the 1995 Dutch film "Tot ziens"

    Eva Herzig Topless and bathtub full frontal nudity from the Austrian actress in scenes from "Tödliche Liebe".

    LisaRaye Yes, her name is really one word spelled with capital "R" in the middle. And you thought they were kidding in "LA Story" by naming a character SanDeE*. Nope...that's just life in Hollyweird. Moving on...the vidcaps are of LisaRaye stripping in the movie "The Players Club".

    By the way, I think I'll change my name to sc00py^jr. All one word, and using two zeroes instead of O's. Is that LA enough to hang out on Sunset with all of the stars?

    Sonja Martin The 'caps are not perfect quality, but Sonja's body more than makes up for it! Great nude scenes with topless, rear, and frontal views from 1987's "Lemon Popsicle 7"

    Tiffani Amber Thiessen

    Xenia Seeberg

    Two HUGE, very hot, and worth the download scans from the March Issue of FHM. (Tiffani fans should not pass this one up). These images have been seen in the Fun House before, but not like this. Great job by Zon!

    Magdalena Wrobel This collage isn't too shabby either.

    Christina Kruse

    Maggie Rizer

    Gisele Bundchen

    Another excellent round of scans of top models and other babes. These first three contain the only nudity in today's batch. Christina and Maggie are clearly topless. Gisle is fully nude but only lets us see partial side nudity.

    Nina Hagen

    Jerry Hall

    Helena Christensen


    Nadja Auermann

    The non-nudes. Much to my surprise, Madonna is in this batch and not in the nude category.

    and ...
    Johanna Ter Steege
    (1, 2, 3)

    I guess this is big Dutch celebrity news. More topless and masturbation scenes from "Tot ziens". This time Scanman gets the credit.

    Eva Herzig Scanman's version of Eva's bathtub scene from "Tödliche Liebe".

    Brooke Burke
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The "Wild On" babe showing a bunch of cleavage and looking pretty darn hot in the March Maxim. Thanks to PicCap.

    Monica Keena
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    From Akira...vidcaps of the "Dawson's Creek" co-star in scenes from "Crime and Punishment in Suburbia". Cleavage and pokies only.

    Second Helpings
    Davinia Taylor
    (1, 2)

    On slower news days I will occasionally dip into the vault a bring back a few images that are worth another look. These two definitely are worthy! If you ask any Yank about Davinia, chances are most of us will just ended up shrugging our shoulders. Jump across the pond however, and it's a little different story. Davinia is a sexy blonde model and actress in England. Most notably she appeared on the very popular UK soap "Hollyoaks".

    These two fantastic scans first showed up around Thanksgiving and feature Davinia completely nude on the beach with gorgeous breast exposure. Original source...Girls of FHM 2000. Scans by Proteus.

    Griffen Drew

    Raelyn Saalman

    Lissa Boyle

    Shauna O'Brien

    Dann recently appeased the Skinemax gods with several tribute collages of some of our B movie favorites.

    These first 4 all feature scene from 1995's "Friend of the Family". Of particular interest are the 'caps of Shauna O'Brien before the installation of the "Robo-hooters" (to borrow a term from Brainscan.)

    Jenna Bodnar

    Shauna O'Brien

    Naturally, since the first one left so many unanswered questions, they ended up making a sequel called "Friend of the Family II". Once again, look for Shauna without the silly-cones.

    This one is also known as "Innocence Betrayed". In one scene Shauna is doing some sport humping. Ok, nothing new there, but they either did a really good job faking it, or they were really gettin' it on. Check out frames with Shauna lying on the bed with gold sheets. If that isn't enough evidence for ya, then watch it on Skinemax or on video and let us know if you think it's live or Memorex.

    Emily Procter In her full S&M outfit, and revealing a breast or two in scenes from "Body Shots"

    Layla Roberts Great breasts, lame movie. Scoop covered this one back in the 10/19/00 edition.

    Rose McGowan Rose baring her famous pasty white boobs in scenes from "Going all the Way"

    Suzanne Bridgham Last but not least, great shower scene nudity from the movie "The Doorway".

    The Funnies by Number 6
    Hillbillies Humor

    Three hillbillies are sitting on their porch in Tennessee.

    One says; "Boy is my wife dumb. She's so stupid that she went shoppin' today and bought an air-conditioner. Hell, we ain't got electricity!"

    Then the other guy says; "Aah that ain't nothin, my wife's dumber than that! She went shoppin yesterday and had a washin' machine delivered." They all laughed and laughed, as nobody around there has plumbing!

    The third hillbilly said; "Well, I reckon my woman's got to be the dumbest. Just this morning I was looking in her purse for some change and found six condoms. Hell, she ain't got no penis!"


    A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for "medium", and $14,000 for "large. The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.

    The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

    The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

    (insert rimshot here)

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