a My take on the best movies with substantial nudity. Well, I don't think that Basic Instinct is a better movie than A Clockwork Orange, but I think it's an interpretation issue. Some people looked at the list of good movies and thought "I have to pick the most erotic". Other people looked at the list of movies with nudity and thought "I have to pick the best" I chose the latter and voted for Clockwork. Here is my list of ten top movies with "substantial" nudity, ranked in approximate order of the quality of the movie, not the quality or quantity of the nudity. I didn't try to be comprehensive, so I may have forgotten some better movies not on the list.
  1. Clockwork Orange, oh my brothers.
  2. Andrei Rublev, the masterwork fom the Russian genius, Tarkovsky
  3. American Beauty
  4. Blade Runner
  5. The Life of Brian
  6. A Zed and Two Noughts
  7. American History X
  8. Jacob's Ladder
  9. The Unbearable Lightness of Being
  10. Animal House

Honorable mention: Breaking the Waves, Shakespeare in Love, The English Fucking Patient, Wings of the Dove.

Life of Brian (male and female frontal) and Animal House (lots of boobs, and some brief buns) were the only major comedy classics I could recall with substantial nudity. Did I forget any?

The Gist and Lawdog

One Fish, Two Fish
A change. Tuna is now our colleague on the page, and will be a regular daily contributor to the member's edition. Every day (or almost every day), the members' edition will feature additional material from Tuna, with nudity.

Tuna's contribution to this section today is a slew of DVD caps of Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight. He heartily recommended the movie as well. The captures are sexy, but the only nudity is as follows: Geena showed a bit of her buns in #3, and the side of one breast in #7. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

  • Blinky has Erin O'Connar today. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9)

  • PAL has three more original contributions for us this week.

    Arnetia Walker in "Scenes from the Class Struggle ...." Mary Woronov in "Scenes from the Class Struggle ...." Kelly McGillis in "The House on Carroll Street"

    WhyScans presents a Page Three report each day. Yesterday: no girl (Sunday). The replacement is Jade from October 2. (#1, #2, #3, #4,

    also in the news: Posh Spice again, showing some great legs (#1, #2), and Jodie Kidd in a seepthrough top.

    + Ever wonder what the Playboy, Page Three, and other softcore models do when not modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does. Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue, "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls. Frodo's comments:

    These pictures are Page Three Gold regular Debee Ashby, who actually did Demi Moore one better - she posed topless with her own mom. Debee avec mum (#1, (#1, Debee sans mum (#1, #2, #3)

  • Peta Wilson in "Mercy" (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)
  • Shannon Elizabeth in "American Pie" (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8)

  • Jimmy's movies The end of "The Beast". This is an 8-parter which, when rejoined, will be Jimmy's original. This is part eight of eight. Thanks to Aussie for making the pieces small enough so that we can transmit them, and of course many thanks to His Holiness for creating them especially for us.

    Members Bonuses

    a "National's Lampoon's Last Resort", from Johnny Web

    I can review this movie in two words, and both of the words are "Corey". Yup, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim are at it again in a dreadfully stupid movie, performed with a comic subtlety that makes Jim Carrey seem, in comparison, to be a member of the Algonquin Round Table. The film had a budget of about eighty bucks. A few scenes are bad enough to be funny in their intrinsic incompetence, ala Ed Wood, but most are not. The great majority are just dumb, as if they said "we don't have a script, but turn on the cameras and we'll think of something wacky to do."

    The two Corey's are to low-budget comedy as John Saxons is to low-budget horror. Just like Saxon, they aren't that bad themselves, but their presence in a project is almost a guarantee of suckitude for the movie. I think this rule also applies to Bryan Brown

    National Lampoon was once a great magazine with a intelligence and a razor's edge, featuring the great comic minds of my generation, like Tony Hendra, P.J. O'Rourke, Chris Miller, Henry Beard, the late Doug Kenney, and the late evil genius Michael O'Donoghue. They managed to effectively combine arcane and recondite wit from the very top of their intelligence with lowbrow gross-out humor, and they were great at both. Unfortunately, they rarely got even a drop of that genius into their movies.

    Here's Demetra Hampton in the movie (#1, #2) NOT NEW, but for reference. Here's an old scan of Demetra from the Encyclopedia. This sucker was one of the first images ever in there! NOT NEW. And here's Demetra stark naked from behind in an episode of "Red Shoes Diaries", as capped by AP, the Cologne Comet

    "Animal Instincts", from Tuna

    OK, it's not exactly Casablanca in its contribution to cinema history, but the images are crisp, clear, colorful, and nekkid.

    Wendy Schumacher (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28) Various and assorted (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20)

    "Mother's Boys", from Tuna

    I have discussed this movie in some depth earlier. Jamie Lee goes against type as a diabolical and disturbed schemer who will stop at nothing to get back the family she abandoned. Jamie Lee showed that she still had a pretty good chest, but film audiences stayed away in droves, and critics were unimpressed. I guess nobody wanted Jamie Lee to be evil in the first place, and the movie's execution is trite. Luckily for us, the film stock is very good, and the photography was technically quite excellent - not artistic, but very clear and well-lit, so enjoy the captures and skip the movie.

    (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12)

    Members Bonus

  • Milla in "The Fifth Element" (Beautiful captures) (#1, #2, #3, #4)
  • Karen Mulder, see-through top,
  • Kristanna Loken in "Mortal Combat" (non-nude) (#1, #2)
  • Amanda Tapping in "Stargate" (non-nude) (#1, #2)
  • FR Sabrina Setlur nearly falling out of her dress at a European award show


  • Camilla Renschke in "Schwiegermutter"
  • five of Gina Gershon in "Showgirls"
  • Gershon
  • Gershon
  • Gershon
  • Gershon
  • five of Anne Louise Hassing in "Kaerlighedens smerte"
  • Hassing
  • Hassing
  • Hassing
  • Hassing
  • from Dann- Carole Mackereth in "Total Recall 2070"
  • Click Here!