Wednesday

A bunch of near-nudity, but no cigar

nip/tuck

season 5, episode 14 (last night)

Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge) did everything but fall out of her hospital gown. Nice downblouse, very small bandwidth - short and to the point. (Film clip.)

 

After Sex

I watched this one in fast forward, but I can tell you what it is. It's several 10-minute vignettes, each of which takes place immediately after a couple have had sex, in that intimate talk stage. There are two couples which consist of male homosexuals, plus one lesbian couple, plus maybe half a dozen straight couples. The whole film seems like a cheat since it consists of nine couples just having finished with lovemaking and there's no nudity. If you want to see what the quality is like, well, the film clip is one entire segment from start to finish, so you'll actually see one of the stories. The reason I created the long clip was not so you could evaluate the film, but because the ever-gorgeous Emmanuelle Chriqui spends the entire segment in underwear of the Victoria's Secret variety. Here's the clip. (It's not that big. Only 56 meg)

 Delirious

This project had some merit. I would have enjoyed the film if it had committed to real nudity instead of extended underwear shots.

Film clips:

  • Alison Lohman spends a lot of time in a bra and panties, showing off her toned tummy and butt, and even takes a jacuzzi in her underwear!
  • Gina Gershon shows the most: approximately the bottom half of her bum when she strips for action.

Alison Lohman plays a pop star who is recovering from a bad break-up with her boyfriend, and whose grief is exacerbated by paparazzi. Steve Buscemi plays a low-rent paparazzo who lives in an extremely dilapidated apartment building, and struggles to pay the rent. Michael Pitt plays a homeless 20-something kid whose story links the star and the paparazzo. The homeless kid stumbles into a group of paparazzi one morning as they camp out, waiting for the pop star. The kid ends up volunteering to get coffee so none of the photographers have to abandon a key vantage point. He happens to run into the star, and they have an immediate connection. He may be homeless, but he has a beautiful cherubic face, ala a young DiCaprio, and he's a sweet kid, so the pop star is immediately attracted to his naivete and good looks.

The paparazzo hires the kid as his "assistant," and lets him clean up and sleep in his apartment. The kid tries to pursue his unlikely romance with the pop star and is doing quite well for a while, but blows it when he gets invited to the pop star's birthday and brings along you-know-who as "a friend." Although the paparazzo promises not to take any pictures, he can't help himself when he gets introduced to Elvis Costello, and his indiscretion gets him kicked out - and the homeless kid is also kicked out for having brought a reviled paparazzo to the party.

The final component of the plot is that the handsome boy ends up getting recruited by a horny 40ish casting director (Gina Gershon) who thinks the lad just may be able to make it as a soap opera or reality show star. Even if that falls through, she figures the young hunk will at least keep her bed warm. The young man's career takes off, inevitably leading him back to the pop star, who is his true love, or so he thinks. He has to balance his ambition and his love for the pop tart against his loyalty to the sleazebag paparazzo who saved him from homelessness and to the agent who built his career and wants him for herself.

Part of Delirious is a truly romantic love story between two naive and well-mannered kids who just happen to be in the public eye. That sincere romance is packed inside a cynical and very odd black dramedy about the lives of paparazzi, agents, and handlers. That combination sounds incongrous, so I expected to dislike the film. I was wrong. The whole package makes for a surprisingly good watch, not because of the beautiful young couple who conduct their courtship in public, although their story is kind of fairy-tale cute, but because of the old pros Buscemi and Gershon. Buscemi, as always, makes his character completely credible, natural and multi-dimensional. He's just one of those actors like Denzel who can make just about any dialogue or situation work. Take away Buscemi and the film rates a pass, but with him it's worth a look.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ilsa, Harem-Keeper of the Oil Sheiks

(1976)

Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks was the only official sequel, and is meant to be high camp. When Dyanne Thorne was asked to do the part, she pointed out that her character was killed in the first one, and was told, "nobody will remember." The ex-Nazi is now in charge of a harem, which she rules with an iron hand, together with her assistants, Tanya Boyd and Marilyn Joi. As we join the story, she has just received a shipment of three more kidnapped women, including Uschi Digard and Sharon Kelly, and the Sheik is preparing to receive a US diplomat (clearly Henry Kissinger) and a secret agent disguised as his naval adjutant, who are in the Middle East to negotiate oil prices. It is a very busy day in the harem because someone was caught with a harem girl and demanded his right as a soldier to have a trial by combat. Ilsa has Tanya Boyd and Marilyn Joi, topless, kick the crap out of him and then neuter him. They are also repairing damage to some of the harem girls so they can be auctioned to the highest bidder. One of the film highlights comes when another sheik wins a girl, and has her teeth pulled so the teeth won't scrape him. Finally, everyone revolts, and a young prince comes out of the dungeon and becomes the new, USA-friendly sheik.

It film is full of nudity and looks wonderful -- much better than you would expect given a low budget and minimal shooting schedule. Note the first screen credit for J. Michael Riva as art designer. His credits include Spider-Man 3, Charlie's Angels, Lethal Weapon 4, A Few Good Men, Tango and Cash, Lethal Weapon 2, Lethal Weapon, The Golden Child, The Color Purple, and Buckaroo Banzai.

The story is just plain silly, but taken as broad comedy, it is watchable.

We have nudity from Dyanne Thorne, Tanya Boyd, Marilyn Joi, Uschi Digard, Sharon Kelly, Haji, Su Ling, and many others.

Dyanne Thorne

Tanya Boyd and Marilyn Joi

Uschi Digard

Sharon Kelly

Haji

Sue Ling

various

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Deathstalker

(1983)

Today we wrap up our tribute to Lana Clarkson with a look at this sword & sorcery flick which came before the "Barbarian Queen" movies. Surprise - Lana does not wind up on a rack!. She does however bare her own rack and more these caps and two clips.

Barbi Benton stole the show in this one. She was the "Babe in Bondage" and offered both see-through and bare boobage in this classic scene. Caps and four clips.

We wind up with two more unknown "Babes in Bondage" showing off their tits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Friends"

Jennifer Aniston

Episode 207

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three film clips:

 

 

 

 

 

 

More of Lohan naked, mimicking Marilyn.

A couple more collages and some upgraded scans.


From Frypan

Hi Scoopy

I am not a regular capper. I try to go for stuff that other cappers don't seem to be paying much (or any) attention to. I finally got around to capping Jane Birkin in Cannabis. This was from clips posted in the Fun House on Feb. 15. The clips were mostly very dark and I had to really work with them to get stuff visible. Hope everyone enjoys.

Frypan


 

Britney doing Britney-like stuff.

Geri Halliwell of the Spice Girls (aka Ginger Spice) experiences a wardrobe malfunction