Lie With Me (2006):

After I watched this film, I read Tuna's review and realized that this needed to be a joint Tuna/Scoopy project. For the record, I didn't like the film, but I never like films with long sex scenes, and I probably never will, so I recused myself from the case. Tuna has seen about every soft core sex film ever made, so he's the man for the job. Then I really didn't see any point in duplicating Tuna's imaging work, since he does it better than anyone, so get all the info down there in his section.

So, you ask,  if he did the review and the pictures, what the hell did I do?

Good question. 

Pretty much nothing, at least not as it related directly to the film.

On the other hand, since it is an English-language Canadian erotic film, and since that's not exactly a common species on this planet, I thought it might be interesting to talk about erotic films and Canadian films, and I hope the essays, charts, and stats at the Movie House page are at least illuminating. I learned a lot of interesting things when I did the research, so it may interest you as well. Or not - in which case Tuna has the goods.


Blue Desert (1991):

Courteney Cox as a victimized woman who eventually has to take the law into her own hands.

Predates "Friends" and Ace Ventura by three years. Courtney, who turns 42 this year, was only 26-27 when this film was made and looks pretty doggone scrumptious. Since we don't have much career nudity from her, I did a few different lighting treatments, and will probably return to this project again when I get the time.

  • Courteney Cox zipped .wmvs (1, 2)
  • The first collage comes from the second .wmv, just a fleeting butt shot.

    Courteney Cox

  • The three topless collages come from the first zipped .wmv, a scene which is also fleeting but is sweet while it lasts.

    Courteney Cox



Other Crap:

Here's a RapidShare link for Keira Knightley's nudity in Domino

Borowitz: CHENEY STILL WAITING FOR IRAQIS TO APOLOGIZE ... Calls Invasion of Iraq "The Worst Day of My Life"


Bonds: 'I'm not playing baseball anymore after this'

  • "Barry Bonds, on the verge of passing Babe Ruth and just 48 home runs shy of breaking Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, says this spring training will be his last and he plans to retire after the 2006 baseball season with or without the game's most cherished record."
  • So if he hits 47 this year, he'll retire? One shy of the record? I'm not buyin' it. Barry always has his mouth flappin' in the wind, and this is just another case, in my opinion.

Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream


Bad news for Spotsylvania cops! "The sheriff said Friday he will no longer allow detectives to receive sexual services while investigating suspected prostitution"

  • Sexual services, or as they call it there, the ol' "Spotsylvania poke-a"

Your financial future is in deep shit - tiger shit, that is.


'Brokeback' Takes Four BAFTAs, including Best Picture and Best Director.


New $7 Hunting Stamp Allows Each Texas Shooter One Lawyer Per Season



Hugo Chavez to Condi Rice: 'don't mess with me, girl.', cuz I got me some important human rights to violate!


Weekend Box Office Results, February 17-19, 2006
  • There was only one major surprise in this group. Every film performed within a reasonable range of expectations except Freedomland. Nobody expected it to be a blockbuster, but nobody anticipated the extent to which it would bomb.
  • There was a minor surprise: The Pink Panther again performed above expectations, proving the studio bosses to be brilliant for holding it back until now. Whoda thunk it?
  • Note the rather sad state of choices for grown-up entertainment. There are only three films on the list with more good reviews than bad, and they are all kids' films - Eight Below, Nanny McPhee,and Curious George. If you are an adult, there is Final Destination 3, a decent genre flick, but really for the teen market, and then there's a whole bunch of movies between 7% and 25%. Gee, I wonder why the industry revenues are stagnating.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.





Domino (2005) is a biopic about bounty hunter Domino Harvery. This daughter of actor Laurence Harvery gave up being a Ford model and became a bounty hunter, and part of a very radical team of bounty hunters. The film is told in flashbacks, where she is being questioned by an FBI agent about a caper involving a large amount of mob money that has gone very bad. Domino was played by Keira Knightley, who did an excellent job in the role. Mickey Rourke and Edgar Ramirez play her partners. The film is all about action, but it is the visual style employed by Tony Scott that dominates everything, often making the film hard to follow.

Keira Knightley shows breasts in a hyperkenetic mescaline induced sex scene late in the film. There are also some anonymous strippers showing breasts and buns.

IMDb readers say 5.7. Ebert awards three stars. Berardinelli awarded two stars, feeling, as I do, that there is a good film in Domino's life, but that director Tony Scott overwhelmed the story with his visual style. Made for an estimated $50M, it grossed $10.1M in the US. Other reviews and comments also found fault with Scotts overbearing style. To be fair, some of the tricks he employed here will probably be used effectively by others, but it is a safe bet that nobody will do an entire film this way. This is a very low C-.

Keira Knightley


"Lie with Me"

Lie with Me (2005) is a Canadian Erotic Drama with a two line plot. A sexually free woman meets a man at a club and the sparks between them are obvious. They get together sexually, but struggle when the relationship turns to intimacy. So far, not very interesting. The girl, Lauren Lee Smith, has no problems with physical intimacy, but finds her sex life less than completely fulfilling. After sex, she feels like "pleasure sticks to her belly. There are pieces left inside." The night she first sees Eric Balfour at the club, he is with another woman. She leaves with a stranger, and gives him a blow job then screws him outside the club, with Balfour watching. He is hooked at that point, and pursues her.

Her parents are splitting up, and her cousin is getting married. He takes care of his ailing father. The two find the sex easy, but, as they develop needs for more intimacy, both have trouble. Toronto is a character in the film as well, as they try to show what warm summers in Toronto feel like. The film was shot on super 16, which allowed more intimate camera angles. The sex scenes are red hot, and both Balfour and Smith do extensive full frontal.

There was a sparseness of dialogue, beginning with the opening sequence. During the open credits, we start with a unfocused shot of Smith's eye. The camera slowly pulls back to reveal that she is lying on a sofa masturbating while watching a porn tape. She dresses, heads to the club, and does the entire meeting of Balfour, and hooking him by having the public sex with the stranger, all with no dialogue. There is some voice-over, as the film is completely from her point of view. Smith was excellent at telling the story with acting, making dialogue unnecessary.

IMDb readers say 5.2. It is in major chick flick territory with a disparity of 6.9 to 5.1, with women in the 18-29 group giving a 9.1. Hint .. with full frontal and hot sex, this might be a good date flick. The first act had me totally hooked. I felt it begin to drag when they reached the point where need for intimacy begin to diminish the lust. None-the-less, this is an outstanding effort, and I hope director Clément Virgo makes more films in this vane. Lie with Me should have been an entry in the best sex scenes of 2005 voting. This is a high C+. It is nearly as explicit as the recent French films which go into great bedroom detail, but will only offend the most uptight. If you enjoy erotica, I strongly recommend this one.

Lauren Lee Smith


We parked the Time Machine for today and did more current things.

First up is Erika Bennett in "The Hollow". Love the short skirt and boots, plus she almost shows almost shows her breasts in the open blouse.

Erika Bennett

Katherine Lang starts to get it on in "Soul Assassin", nice boobies.

Katherine Lang

And we wrap it up with Elsa Pataky getting her tits fondled in "Werewolf Hunter",also one quick shot from the rear.

Elsa Pataky



There has been some Funhouse talk the past week about this gal named Rita G. She claims she has the most beautiful breasts in the world AND she claims they are real. Howard Stern and his crew took turns examining them very carefully. Well, I had to rely on 2-dimensional data. Grabbed this disk called The World's Luckiest Bachelor because she was in it. Rita and a bunch of other gals do a lot of stripping and wiggling, and it does look like everything in her is carbon-based. Natural. But Rita's were not even the best looking breasts in the DVD, much less the world. So I guess that makes her half-right.

Not much to say about Rita G's "performance." She strips, she spreads, she wiggles. Fourteen collages worth. End of story.

Rita G


'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"You Stupid Man" (2002)
Skinless romance but a safe date movie. Denise Richards is shown in busty brassiere, Milla Jovovich shows some extra perky pokies, Jessica Cauffiel is sexy, and hefmag/mystiqe model Katia Corriveau steals the whole movie bra-less in a tight t-shirt.

Denise Richards Milla Jovovich Jessica Cauffiel Katia Corriveau

"Summer" (2002) (TV)
Light romance comedy about soime slackers enjoying their last summer after graduating from university. Karen Cliche looks greats in a bikini, Amy Sloan really fills out her t-shirt, Stefanie Buxton is busty in a bikini top, and Erika Rosenbaum is sexy.

Karen Cliche Amy Sloan Stefanie Buxton Erika Rosenbaum

"Murder Unveiled" (2006) (TV)
Recently aired CBC movie. Newcomer Anita Majumdar shows partial boob in love scene.

Anita Majumdar

From Season 2 episode: "Floodgates: Lots and lots of nudity by the main cast in this season two opener. They must have shredded all actress' no-nudity clauses. Erin Karpluk shows her boobs and butt for the first time without the use of body double, Leah Cairns again shows her boobs in a dark love scene (great silouette of her pencil-eraser-type nipple), Carmen Moore has a nude lesbian sex scene with newcomer Layla Alizada, Layla Alizada also shows some mega cleavage, and guest star Ona Grauer is in a bikini pregant as a guppy.

Erin Karpluk Leah Cairns Carmen Moore Layla Alizada Ona Grauer

"Mocassin Flats"
From season III. From the first couple of episodes of season three which started recently. Sabrina Matechuck is shown in a brassiere as the latest lesbian lover of Andrea Menard and Sarah Podemski is shown in bathtub and various revealing blouses.

Sabrina Matechuck Sarah Podemski

"Extraordinary Visitor" (1998)
Light newfie comedy starring Mary Walsh of Codco fame who shows some cougar cleavage and leg.

Mary Walsh

"Bizarre" update
Astrid Brandt is one of the lingerie models and S.J. Fellowes is the topless Spring season model.

Astrid Brandt S.J. Fellowes

Here is French-Canadian babe Cali Timmins showing breasts and a bit of bum in love scenes from the 1995 movie "Hard Evidence".

Aussie born Elizabeth Lackey goes topless in scenes from the made for cable series "Rude Awakening".

'Caps and comments by Magicman:

The five video caps (numbers 10 through 14) are from the 1975 BDSM French classic "The Story of O" (Histoire D”O) and they represent a small, but beautifully photographed, five minute section of the movie. The director, Just Jackson, had been a Vogue photographer and it shows in these caps. In this series, "O’s" lover Rene takes her to meet Sir Stephen, who will eventually become her master. They meet in a bar and take her back to Stephen’s apartment when Rene put’s "O" across the seat of the couch and lifts her skirt for their visual enjoyment as shown in Set Ten. In the next set (11), Rene has left the apartment and Sir Stephen has instructed her to pull down her top so that he can fondle her breasts. Lucky bastard! In set 12, she stands up and removes all of her clothes and her turns her towards him and begins playing with her to see her reaction. In set 13, he instructs her to sit down and masturbate. She begins to play with herself then challenges his instructions and in the final set, he pulls her up, slaps her and then bends her over the couch and then painfully sodomizes her for punishment.

I took these caps from a pre-recorded Betamax video tape released through Allied Artists in the late seventies. This is the American version of 97 minutes rated NC-17. There is a longer un-cut version of “"The Story of O" that runs 105 minutes which was released in Australia in 2000. I have yet to read any comparison reviews. The American version was finally released on DVD in 2002 but NOT the un-cut version although there are several extra scenes. There really is no mainstream BDSM movie to compare this to except perhaps "Secretary" because both movies feature a beautiful, often nude, submissive woman who enjoys the alternate lifestyle.

Corinne Clery