Below the Belt (1971) is the second feature on what is one of the best Something Weird Video releases, which is saying something, as most of their releases are very well done. As is their usual format, they lovingly remastered Godson, and included a feature length commentary, then included a second feature by the same producer, Harry Novak, with an arguably similar theme (women and gangsters, in this case). Then, they fill the DVD with related trailers, shorts, and galleries of art and promotional material. Below the Belt was directed by Bethel Buckalew, who was one of Novak's team. He directed most of the southern hick films, like Country Cuzzins, Sassy Sue, The Pigkeeper's Daughter and Southern Comforts. He also had a genius for scouting affordable locations, and getting permission to shoot. In general, he got closer to hard core than Bill Rotsler. His wife was used as script girl, and did a lot of the editing for his pictures.

While this is technically a women and mobsters movie, it is really a roughie. That is, the naked women are knocked around by the men at some point in the film. I am not sure why these were made, although I suspect that the violence made the exposure more acceptable to the censors. The story concerns a young fighter getting ready for his title shot, a ruthless manager who is trying to manipulate the odds, some underworld types who actually control the fight game, and the cliched punch drunk assistant trainer. All of this is really only a pretext to show naked women. The acting is abysmal, the plot is completely lame, and the transfer is obviously made from multiple work prints, some of which are in very bad shape. There is some good news, however.

Lets start with Uschi Digard in a pool side sex scene where she shows all three Bs. The scene is fairly hot, and the transfer in this segment is not that bad.

Next, we have Mirka Madnadraszky, who shows everything. She is the girlfriend of the mobster, and is sent to seduce the fighter. She is seen in a hot girl/girl, and having sex with the evil manager at the end of the film. She was the featured star of this film, but has no other credits at IMDB. Her last name couldn't have enhanced her career, and her accent was pretty think.

Then we have Rene Bond in a totally gratuitous sex scene with the ruthless manager. She shows all three Bs, comes as close as you possibly could to having intercourse without doing it, and we get several direct camera shots at her pussy. This was before her boob job. Harry is fond of saying that all of his actresses have natural tits. Rene is the exception. She came to Harry and asked him if she would get more and bigger roles if she had a boob job. He not only said yes, but loaned her the money for the surgery.

Terry Johnson is a lovely blonde with one other credit at IMDB. She is the other half of the girl/girl with Mirka Madnadraszky. The scene is very hot and rather lengthy, with lots of genital close-ups and a lovely 69. If Johnson wasn't picking public hair out of her teeth after the scene I would be amazed.

At least 5 unknowns also showed their all during a mob party/slave auction.

The film has a properly moral ending. Oddly enough, Digard and Bond, who have huge cult followings, were not mentioned in the credits, despite lengthy scenes. There are not enough votes at IMDB to score this, and if there ever are, it will be very low, and justifiably so. It is a terrible film. On the other hand, it is a good example of a genre (roughie) and features a lot of exposure including two cult icons. On a DVD by itself, it would not be worth the purchase price, except to fans of Uschi and Rene. The total package, as I said at the beginning, is well worth the modest purchase price. This film is an F. It is possible that a good transfer would elevate it all the way to a D, on the strength of the well lit nudity. Still, as a real fan of 70's exploitation, the people who made them, and the women who starred, it is a welcome addition to my library.

Movies 'n Stuff:

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

You remember Patrick Bateman? He's the killer immortalized in Bret Easton Ellis's novel, American Psycho, a black comedy which was made into a fairly interesting movie. The Rules of Attraction is another novel by the same author, and features Patrick Bateman's younger brother, Sean.

Sean is a cold hearted drug dealer who goes to the ultimate party school, Camden College. Every night is a wild party, and special occasions must therefore be marked by truly epochal events like the "dress like you want to get laid" party, where most people simply come naked. There is only one teacher, played by Eric Stoltz with some kind of crazy European accent, and his only goal is to get blow jobs from his female students. He won't have vaginal sex with them, however, because "he could lose his tenure". Apparently the invisible Camden administration respects the Bill Clinton Rule that oral sex doesn't count.

Sean Bateman (played by the Dawson's Creek dude), meanwhile, seems to be the sexual fantasy of many of his fellow students, both male and female. When they are not hitting on him, they are writing anonymous love notes to him. I think it goes without saying that the only person he has any interest in is a sweet girl who doesn't care for him and is saving it all for her boyfriend in Europe. Said boyfriend, of course, is hanging out in European bordellos and picking up any woman available anywhere on the Continent. When he finally returns, his sweet girl makes her way immediately to his room, only to find him already engaged in various lustful practices with others.

Dawson is apparently not a very good drug dealer. He has no success collecting what people owe him, and his evil drug lord masters are just not pleased at all by this fact, so they are always either hurting him or threatening to hurt him.

The entire movie is cooked up with photographic tricks and gimmicks. The film going backwards. Stops and re-starts. Fast cut scenes.  (The guy's European trip is summarized in about two minutes with a voice-over, a gazillion cuts, and lots of crazy tinted footage.) The film makes a laborious commitment to hipness. Unfortunately, one cannot decide to be hip, and trying to be hip assures that one is not. It's about as hip as a 50 year old guy hanging out at college bars and calling people "dawg".

By our rating system it is a C-. Some younger people seemed to like it, but it just tries too hard to be cool and funny, and mostly succeeds only in being mean and slimy. Black comedy is difficult to pull off successfully, and this film generally fails. It's an unpleasant experience, although I admired bits and pieces of it.

It is an ugly, mean, unpleasant, misanthropic and often stupid movie. Of course, I am an ugly, mean, unpleasant, misanthropic and stupid guy, so I kinda liked it. Your mileage may vary.

• Theresa Wayman (1, 2, 3)
• Jessica Biel (not nude)
• party chicks (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Other crap:

What're the odds?

• Bijou Phillips, breasts, bush and a hint of bum.
• Rachel Miner, breasts and bush.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

• French actress, Audrey Tautou

• Brigitte Bardot, an upskirt panty view.

• Miranda Otto, the Aussie actress and co-star of "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers", showing off a little leg.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt, cleavage in #1 and #2, great legs in #3. (1, 2, 3, 4)

YET MORE MICHAEL JACKSON BLAH-BLAH
Saved By The Bell - Former LAPD detective Bill Dworkin, who led the 1993 Michael Jackson child sex probe, said he was suspicious of Jackson when he found that his bedroom at Neverland had an alarm that went off if anyone approached. He said that suggested he didn't want someone walking in and seeing improper activities.