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"Urban Legends: Final Cut" (2000)

Urban Legends: Final Cut is a non-sequel to Urban Legends. A student is making a thesis film about a campus slasher who mimics urban legends in the killings. Naturally, a real slasher starts offing students. No need to watch it -- the killer explains the entire film in the last few minutes. Oh, and we have a surprise identical twin who is is there for love interest and to serve as one of the red herrings. Technically, this film is fine. Art direction is good, some of the scenics are lovely, and the DP knew what he was doing. There was not a single bad performance. What is horribly wrong about this film is the story itself. The world already has enough campus slasher films. Also, the director kept tricking us, in that you never knew if what you were watching was a film being made, or real action.

I almost didn't capture this film, as there is technically no exposure, but the panty crotch shot from Jesica Caufiel as she is joining the mile high club convinced me it was worth it. We also have good pokies from Eva Mendes, and panties from Jennifer Morrison during a dream sequence.

Rotten Tomatoes shows over whelming critical disdain (43 rotten to 3 fresh). Maltin awards two stars, and IMDB readers have it at 3.3/10. Definitely fin down from Tuna.

  • Thumbnails

  • Eva Mendes (1, 2)
  • Jennifer Morrison (1, 2)
  • Jessica Caulfiel (1, 2)

    "Walking the Edge" (1983)

    Walking the Edge is a better than average low budget crime/thriller directed by Norbert Meisel, and staring his wife, Nancy Kwan, and veteran actor Robert Forster. Kwan is the wife of a major drug dealer, who first finds out about it when some hit men kill her husband and teenage son. She manages to escape, spend some time in a hospital recovering from the shock, then swears revenge. Forster is a part time cabby and full-time runner for a bookie. Forster, known as "The Arm" for his skill as a baseball pitcher, is dissatisfied with his life, and looking for a change. When Kwan hires him to drive her, he has no idea she is out on a shooting spree, and gets the change he had been asking for when he is blamed for the killings along with Nancy both by the cops and the crooks.

    There's the setup. I don't want to write a spoiler, as this one is worth the cost of a rental. There are no reviews available online, and 9 IMDB readers have it at 6.4/10. The DVD is loaded with special features, including an ensemble feature length commentary with Forster, Kwan and Meisel. Kwan was way paste her prime in this one at 47, but can still act. Actually, Nancy peaked in her first film, The World of Suzie Wong (1960), did nearly as well in Flower Drum Song (1961), then ran out of good roles for Asian actresses. She was trained in classical dance, not acting, but was a natural in front of the camera. She shows clear nipples in a see-through bra. The third image of her looks for all the world like a huge pink nipple shot, but is actually her thumb. She was in a tight sheet wrap the entire scene. Aarika Wells is topless in a sex scene with Forster near the beginning of the film.

    The cinematography is uneven, as they had trouble with a drunken cinematographer, and some scenes are not well lit, but on their budget, retakes were not an option. All in all, they made a watchable film.

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  • Aarika Wells (1, 2, 3)
  • Nancy Kwan (1, 2, 3)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at Great Expectations, a movie with great positives and negatives. Unfortunately, explicit nudity didn't make the positives list. I kinda liked it, and Scoopy Jr will never forgive me for giving a semi-positive review to two Ethan Hawke movies in one year. All of which reminds me - Jr and I always refer to him as "Superwuss Ethan Hawke" as if that adjective were officially and inseparably attached to his first name, but I wonder if Hawke is really the biggest wuss in public life. I mean a bigger wuss than Al Gore or Orrin Hatch? Bigger than Michael Bolton? Bigger than DiCaprio? Bigger than Hugh Grant or David Schwimmer? A tough assignment, although our lad may in fact be up to it.
    • Paltrow.Gorgeous images, but not explicit. The radiant best I've ever seen Gwyneth look. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    TomCat worked on music videos yet again, because he's a get-down, get-funky guy with boogie fever in his soul. He's kinda like the Polish Tony Manero, without the white suit.

    Encyclopedia, Volume D, #3, is updated.

    Graphic Response
  • Amanda Peet The now famous nude scene from "The Whole Nine Yards".

  • Brainscan
    So I did a cap or two from School Spirit back when the project of the week was playmates in movies. Let's finish off that momma with caps of a few other, non-playmate babes. In this magnum opus, some guy croaks, comes back for a brief tour of the nearby college campus, with the ability to disappear on command. Armed with this handy skill, what does our boy do? What all of us would do, that's what. He hits the girls dorm. Runs into Pamela Ward (1, 2) first and takes us along for a good look-see. Then he heads for the shower room where Pamela and a few other babes are nekkid. Clearest caps are a hottie, in the part of Uncredited Showergirl. This is as fundamental a part of most teenage B movies as key grip or best boy. They ought to make a special category for it in the Oscars. 'Course then the babe would be credited, wouldn't she?

    Later in the movie we have the mother of all parties. Becky Lebeau gets nekkid, which is the equivalent of going to a Lakers game and saying Shaq dunks the basketball. No! Who woulda thunk???

    Leslie Bremer also gets nekkid. We down here on the Brainscan farm really, really liked Leslie Bremer. You can see her playing with Becky Lebeau in the lower right cap and with an uncredited pool girl in the other caps. The Uncredited Pool Girl (UPG to the in crowd) nearly has het bikini bottoms removed in a separate collages.

    And just before Becky Lebeau makes her way down the slipe-and-slide that was a part of every party I went to while in college (right next to the Yahtzee table and the game of Twister) an Uncredited Slide Girl does likewise. I want to know what the director told this babe. "Okay, honey, let's see you spread them legs real wide" would be my first guess.

    School Spirit. First rate flic. Shoulda had a sequel made.

    Let us continue with the caps by presenting the one, the only Yeardley Smith. I know what you're thinking and no, this is not my definition of a serious babe. So why cap this scene from Ginger Ale Afternoon? 'Cuz Ms. Smith is the voice of Lisa Simpson, at least when The Simpsons appears in native English-speaking countries... and in the U. S., too.

    Last two collages were put together from Tuna's caps of Chained Heat 3: Hell Mountain; it featured the talents of Kate Rodger and Nicole Nieth. Household names throughout my neighborhood, and probably yours, too.

  • "Poodle Springs"
    Poodle Springs is another Philip Marlowe detective story. The caps of Dina Meyer (1, 2,) have appeared before, although the butt shots attributed to her are probably a body double - maybe she has the Lopez disease. Unusual, given her topless display in Starship Troopers.

    Also on display, but non-nude, are Joy La Farr and Nia Peeples. Joy is a stripper, which explains her outfit. Nia is a hooker and that explains her inviting pose.

  • "To the Devil, a Daughter"
    To the Devil, a Daughter is one of those Hammer horror films that England seemed to knock out by the dozens in the 70s. I'm not a fan of the genre and I gave up trying to understand the plot. All you need to know is that there is blood, devil worship and satanic rites.

    Nastassja Kinski plays a virginal 20 year-old nun, although she doesn't stay that way too long. (It must be the same casting agent who cast Koo Stark as a virginal school student in The Adolescents!)

    I'm not sure what part Isabelle Telezynska had in the story. The nude caps of her pregnant body are probably a body double.

  • "The Savage Innocents"
    Continuing the strange casting, Anthony Quinn plays an Inuit in The Savage Innocents. You can see what the make-up department did to make him one in the last cap. Yoko Tani, who is topless in these caps, I think is trying to warm him up with her body heat.

  • "The Benny Hill Show"
    There are two women in these caps. Diana Darvey (1, 2, 3, 4) was a regular singer on the show in the 1970s. She demonstrates the types of outfit that more singers should be wearing. I believe she died early last year.

    There was not too much actual nudity on the show. Sue Bond (1, 2, 3) was one of the exceptions. One of the earliest Hills Angels, she briefly displayed her butt in a skit set at the beach. Little Jackie Wright slammed the door shut on his changing cubicle and all the other doors fell off, showing girls getting changed. Sue was one of them.

  • "That'll be the Day"
    One for the Dr Who fans...Deborah Watling (1, 2, 3) played Victoria Waterfield a companion to the second doctor, Patrick Troughton. The movie is That'll be the Day and stars David Essex and Ringo Starr. That'll give you some idea of the quality. David and Ringo are testosterone-filled blokes trying to bed as many girls as possible at an English holiday camp. Deborah is one of those girls.

  • "The Fearless Vampire Killers"
    Some of these caps from The Fearless Vampire Killers have appeared before but I've added to the collection. Set in England a few centuries ago, Sharon Tate (1, 2, 3) played a serving wench - this allows there to be some nice cleavage pictures. She also likes baths - this means we have a chance to see her bathing. Unfortunately, the topless nudity is very brief and doesn't come out the best in the caps.

  • Odds n' Ends
    Sela Ward in Nothing in Common (undies only)
    Mädchen Amick in "The Hunted" (more undies)
    Valerie Steffen in "Try this One for Size". Topless vidcaps.

  • Celeblover
    Franziska Petri Nice breast and bum exposure from "Die Nachtschwester"

    Kristieanne Travers These 'caps a bit on the blue side, but the full frontal nudity is still very nice. Vidcaps from "Träum was Schönes".

    Maria von Bismarck Topless and lingerie scenes from "Dumm gelaufen"

    Sharon Brauner Very nice nude scenes from an episode of "SK Kölsch".

    Christiane Paul
    (1, 2)

    Full frontal nudity, an other views in scenes from "Dumm gelaufen".

    Sylvia Leifheit
    (1, 2)

    Topless scenes from "Der Pfundskerl - Alles für die Katz"

    and ...
    Penélope Cruz
    (1, 2)

    Beautiful collages by Hugo from "Woman on Top". No real exposure, but that doesn't mean that Penélope is worth a look. For the fans...Scoop also did a few 'caps and reviewed the movie in the 2/14 edition of the Fun House.

    Diana Körner German 'caps by UC99...Here is Diana topless in the tub in scenes from 1985's "Orchideen des Wahnsinns"

    April de Luca More from "Orchideen des Wahnsinns", by UC99.

    Linda Coplin

    (1, 2)

    From the mind of the immortal Ed Wood...Scenes from a movie referred too as the least erotic porn film ever by IMDb readers, "Pretty Models all in a Row" (aka "The Love Feast"). Perhaps not the best porn ever made, but not because of a lack of nudity. Vidcaps by ZonononZor.

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