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"Destination Vegas" (1995)

Destination Vegas is a low budget direct to video. About 2/3 of the way through it, I was planning on complementing the film makers on a decent job scripting a film they could do on a low budget. I was willing to forget that their ex-con Texan (Claude Duhamel) had a Canadian accent, and I was willing to forget that a rich yuppie female lawyer would fall for this ex con. Then they made what, for me, was an unpardonable error. But more about that later.

Missy (Jennifer Sommerfield) is a new junior partner at a law firm whose main client is a fast food chain. She has qualms when her office discovers some loopholes in environmental law that will let the client buy rain forest land, hold it untouched for a year, then clear it to graze cattle. When she discovers evidence that they also assassinated a South American environmentalist hero to keep a lid on the purchase, she decides to blow the whistle. Her journalist friend is killed by two hit men in her apartment, but she escapes through a bathroom window. Here is our first credibility problem. The firm is in LA, and has large offices, but, for some reason that is never explained, the purchase contract is to be signed in Las Vegas.

We, of course, know the reason. The entire film is to be a road chase with the two hit men trying to kill her and Duhamel (Texas). Couldn't very well do a chase scene in the hallway of a law office. We will skip over the part where she steals a truck and shotgun from someone nice enough to pick her up hitchhiking, and the part where she hijacks Texas and his car because she "can't drive and hide at the same time." We are then treated to incident after incident where the two hit men catch up to them, everyone fires thousands of bullets, nobody gets hit, and the chase is on again, sometimes on foot and sometimes in the cars.

Then they screwed up. Missy and Texas finally had sex on the hood of a junk truck, and the bad guys show up. Texas knocks one unconscious with the old hubcap to the face routine, and Missy shoots the other in the leg. Texas has all of the guns at this point. Now at every such juncture in the film before this one, Texas took the distributor to coil wire from the bad guys car while they weren't looking. Not only did he forget to do that this time, but he generously left the bad guys guns there. I could understand a yuppie lawyer not wanting to commit murder, but not her being too stupid to disarm them, disable their car, and maybe even restrain them.

As soon as our heroes take off, the bad guys jump up and resume the chase. In the final scene in the Vegas conference room, they didn't even try to write a coherent scene. They just did about 4 minutes of quick cuts, and shot the bad guys.

Sommerfield is easy on the eyes, and shows a lot of skin throughout with a trick dress that she wore the entire film. They saved a fortune on costumes. She also showed breasts a couple of times, and a nice up-skirt panty shot. Note image one, which is her in a 3/4 profile from the back. Look carefully at the reflection in the picture on the right. 11 IMDB readers (including the two who worked on the film and gave it 10) have it way too high at 5.5/10. There are no reviews that I could find. Give this one a wide berth.

  • Thumbnails

  • Jennifer Sommerfield (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at Cotton Comes to Harlem, Ossie Davis' biggest success as a director, based on what is arguably Chester Himes' most famous novel. Enjoyable film with a good nude scene, but only available in a 4:3 version.

    I looked at Rancho Deluxe. What a tragedy. One of my favorite small movies, beautiful Montana locations, so I was really looking forward to this DVD. Bad news, though. The DVD is one of the worst if not the worst ever. The damned film looks like it has been filtered through a spider web, and the colors are faded. The DVD is actually lower in quality than most videos. There are two versions, widescreen and fullscreen. They are both terrible, and the full screen is so dark you can barely see the picture. Heartbreaking. Good flick, though. Just don't buy it, at least not in this version.

    • Patti d'Arbanville (these images are barely worth looking at, maybe not at all) (1, 2)

    Another DVD of The Hunger, another four episodes from the Quebec-based show which I call The Twilight Zone with tits. I think I've now seen every woman in Montreal naked. About the only ones worth looking at in this batch are the ones of muscular Rachel Hayward. She did a love scene with William Katt - remember him? (Carrie's prom date, and the Greatest American Hero now looking more like a shop teacher!)

    TomCat worked on music videos again.

    • This is Zazie's video "Sucre sale". There is nudity, but apparently there was poor reception at the Tomcat household that day (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Here's T-Spoon's video of "Sex on the Beach". Pretty cool and colorful stuff, not bad quality at all, but meaningless to me. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Tomcat's hit o' the day - Angelina Jolie in the Rolling Stones' video "Anybody seen my baby?" (1, 2)
    Jennifer Sommerfield
    (1, 2)
    Perfectly clear vidcaps and very nice exposure from the movie "Destination Vegas".

    The Goodies:

  • #1 has some fantastic views
  • #2 features some beautiful breast exposure.

  • Jennifer Connelly Whether nude or non-nude, there is never enough Connelly. Vidcaps of Jennifer in black lingerie from "Dark City".

    Melissa George More from "Dark City"...the Aussie actress in familiar but always welcome nude scenes.

    Annette Bening Very dark, but very nude. The best 'caps I've seen of Annette taking it all off in "The Grifters".

    Rhondda Findleton Topless 'caps from the Aussie flick "Love in Limbo".

    Sally Kirkland Feeling herself up in these 'caps from 1992's "Double Threat"

    Carole Laure Topless 'caps of the French Canadian actress in scenes from 1981's "Un assassin qui passe"

    Sherrie Rose More breast exposure from "Double Threat".

    Elizabeth Peņa
    (1, 2)

    Sorta topless in scenes from "The Pass", video title "Highway Hitcher". A movie described by a couple of IMDb readers as terrible and pointless. One guy even added "If you watch it, be sure you are drunk".

    Additional comments about Peņa's nudity by PAL:
    What do you think her right breast looks like? I think it looks like a scar, maybe a breast surgery. Check out the blown up raw cap.

    Sunset Thomas
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    The hardcore porn star and former Pet in scenes from some of her most challenging lesbo, 3-ways, anal, and double penetration. Sorry, no D.V.D.A.

    Francesca Le More hardcore action. Hey, a little porn never hurt. Besides, I've been to 4 porn conventions so trust me when I say that these folks are celebrities. Maybe not the garden variety, star on the walk of fame type, but they are celebs.

    and ...
    Jordana Brewster
    (1, 2)

    Crow comes through with more topless bootleg 'caps from the new movie "The Invisible Circus"

    Valerie Kaprisky
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
    7, 8, 9, 10, 11,
    12, 13, 14, 15)

    "Caps and comments by RDO:
    "Breathless" finally made it down to a price I was willing to pay at the local laser emporium, so here are the caps.

    Erika Anderson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Erika had several gratuitous nude scenes as the title character in 1991's "Zandalee". UC99 serves up samples from the otherwise really dull movie that stars Nicolas Cage and Judge Reinhold. For some reason, both actors sported almost identical moustaches. I guess it was sort of an Evil Mr. Spock thing. Especially for Reinhold who had frequently been cast in loveable, but doofy Mr. Nice Guy roles all through the 80's.

    Full frontal nudity in #2, 3 and 5. Topless in the rest.

    Charlize Theron Showing a lot of leg, as well as showing off a cool scar on Leno. Nice work by DAI.

    The Funnies by Number 6
    A Texas Chili Cook-off

    Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

    Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:

    Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
    JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

    Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
    JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
    FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

    Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

    Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
    JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; all 300 lb. pounds of her are starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

    Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
    JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
    FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? The other judges asked me to stop screaming.

    Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that barmaid Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. My lips are now completely numb, and I think I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

    Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
    FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like substance that matches my shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.

    Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?
    FRANK: --------------
    (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

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