a My take on the comedy shows: I love the Simpsons, too. Best long-running show of any kind ever on TV, as far as I'm concerned. Brilliant, scathing, far-reaching in its satire, sometimes touching, and more human than the shows with real humans. I don't know how many times I've quoted Homer's famous speech in favor of Apu's citizenship and immigrants in general - "who will kick our extra points and train our tigers ....". You foreigners - if you want to really understand American culture, this show is the place to do it. Some of the best minds in comedy have written for the show, and the references are so thickly layered that you can watch an episode several times before you see some of the details like product names and such. If I could take personal credit for anything ever written, I would choose Shakespeare's plays first, and The Simpsons second.

I generally agree with your choices except: I like MASH, but not enough to rank it #2, ahead of Seinfeld and SCTV. I think three shows are underrated: (1) TAXI is a hair lower than I think it should be (2) I would place those insane Canadians from SCTV #2 all-time after the Simpsons. Count Floyd rules, dudes! Unfortunately SCTV reruns have not permeated the airwaves like some of the others, and it seems not to be familiar to many of you. That's a shame. (3) The other one I love is not on the list, and is a quirky choice on my part. It has become commonplace to put Green Acres down, but every time I watch that show it dawns on me that this is the only show in the history of television that ever dared to laugh at its audience for being stupid enough to watch. In effect, the writers of that show are like the guys who write Weekly World News, who have nothing but complete contempt for their readers. Neither WWN nor Green Acres ever stop dumbing down, to the extreme point where it becomes funny. At first I thought the show was complete hayseed crap. I must have watched 20 episodes before I finally got it, and then when it fell in place, I loved it more each time I viewed it. In some ways, it is a show as surreal as a Dali painting.

The Gist and Lawdog

A variety today. I found #2 and #3 of Kovalchuk to be some of the sexiest material Blinky has ever submitted. (No nudity in the others, however.)

Diana Kovalchuk (#1 #2 #3) Minna Harju (#1 #2) Chandra North

Two score new collages from Mr Helcrom, King B. A great selection. The highlight here is Rosanna Arquette and Anjelina Jolie in "Hell's Kitchen". I don't know where he got a copy of it. So few people have seen it that it only has 26 votes at IMDb, and I don't even know where to get a copy. A big Udaman on that one, Helcrom!
  • Angeline Jolie in "Hell's Kitchen"
  • Rosanna Arquette in "Hell's Kitchen"
  • Annette Berger in "Masseuse III"
  • Marcia Gray in "Masseuse III"
  • Landon Hall in "Masseuse III"
  • Gail Harris in "Masseuse III"
  • Peggy Trentini in "Masseuse III"
  • Catherine Weber in "Masseuse III"
  • Kimberly Knight in "Masseuse III"
  • Tammy Parks in "Masseuse III"
  • Julie Strain in "Masseuse III"
  • Brandy Davis in "Virtual Encounters 2"
  • Nicole Fornier in "Virtual Encounters 2" Check out especially the middle one in the top row.
  • Nikki Fritz in "Virtual Encounters 2"
  • Chrissey Styler in "Virtual Encounters 2"
  • Jill Tompkins in "Virtual Encounters 2"
  • Rowena King in "Wide Sargasso Sea"
  • karina Lombard in "Wide Sargasso Sea". I'm really looking foprward to a DVD of this.
  • Virginia Madsen in "Class"
  • Greta Scacchi in "A Man in Love"

    Find Helcrom's new home page listed at

  • FR Here's FR with two new collages.

    Jessica Stockman in "Wie angelt man sich seiner Chef" Sharon Stone in "The Muse"

    Mammoth-chested pornbabe Whitney Wonders. Her family's bread used to be popular as well (#1, #2, #3)

    WhyScans presents a Page Three report each day. Yesterday: Jakki, 21, from Staffordshire. (#1, #2, #3, #4)

    Gold is Gail McKenna, from 23 June, 1989

    Requested was Elke Kellick (1)

    Karen White is a Page Three Girl. here are 36 more of her. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36)

    A couple of Britney Spears that I had not seen before (non-nude) (1, 2)

    Four of Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) from the Sun. She is doing some runway work. There isn't any nudity but, trust me, #1, #3 and #4 are must-see material) (#1, #2, #3, #4)

    + Ever wonder what the Playboy, Page Three, and other softcore models do when not modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does. Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue, "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls. Frodo's comments:

    "A couple of weeks ago I noticed a question on the board about Page 3 Girl Holly McGuire in her Victoria Yallop persona. I only have a couple, but they may serve to show that Holly and Victoria are the same person."

    McGuire (#1, #2) Yallop (#1, #2, #3, #4)

  • new rasslebabe Miss Hancock (mpg's in the members' area)

    (#1, #2, #3)

  • RoSSoL
    NOTE: pictures follow the text

    These caps are made of different previews of "Levottomat" aka Restless (premiered three weeks ago). Actually capping this film when it is out on video will be an enormous task, well comparable to capping Showgirls, because it features so much nudity and even more sex scenes. Sorry to tell for the German readers: Berlin Film Festival didn't pick this film to the schedule.

    Story in brief: Ari's life is empty: "nothing feels like anything". This feeling includes sex - he has it a lot but it's not special. One night, one or two girls, next night, new girls. He has more sex in one summer than a normal guy in a decade... Comes along Tiina (Laura Malmivaara) who falls in love with Ari and doesn't let him go. Ari goes and fucks all Tiina's (female) friends (Irina Björklund and Matleena Kuusniemi) and some others too. We get to see all this. And this is not a porn film, but a reasonably good erotic drama, even though it suffers from strong underlining of certain aspects of the script.

    As said this film has a very high nudity factor. There has been talk about it whether the sex scenes are for real as the director claims or not. If someone wants to see the actual penetration this is not the film for you - there are plenty of those in the market, you know! But the scenes are very realistic and I wouldn't be at all surprised if there was some "real" action in them. But the reality is not measured by the penetration alone. Laura Malmivaara does a very brief Maruschka Detmers impersonation when starting to give Ari a blowjob. She and Matleena get their pussies eaten and Laura gives us a clear view of her lower lips as well... No optional clothes in the sex scenes. Everybody's naked (also the guys, so this film suits well for the both sexes...) And yes, the group scene it there too, but it shows a bit too many men (not gays, but anyway) and not enough of women.

    The previews of this film have been very modest - do not let them fool you!

    Female lead Laura Malmivaara. Shows it all (well, maybe not the butthole). Great body, here only her tits seen.

    Her friend Matleena Kuusniemi. Shows nearly as much as Laura, biggest breasts of the lot. Plays the slut of the film, as she has done before. (Good for us!)

    The young priest Irina Björklund. Best performer, biggest letdown in nudity. She has a perfect body (if you like'em small) but her only good sex scene was quite dark and it's tits only. Briefly she shows the rest too - no worries! There was no nudity from her in the previews, so I included the old cap of mine from the Rukajärven tie. She's not a modest girl, so we are going to seeing more of her...

    Niina Kurkinen. She is a model and her acting looks and sounds like she's a model... She doesn't have a big part and unfortunately she doesn't show anything. The frame of Ari (Mikko Nousiainen) on top of her is not even in the film. So to make that up, I include my new backstage seethru scan of her. Small image to start with - did my best... couldn't make it look even decent, but here it is anyway.

    More caps will follow when this will be out on video or hopefully on DVD.

    Bjorklund Bjorklund (Rukajarventie) Kurkinen from the movie other Kurkinen material Kuusniemi Malmivaara Malmivaara


    Members Bonuses

    a "Denial", from Johnny Web

    This movie is sold in North America as "Something about Sex". George Costanza comes to a dinner party. He is an arrogant author who contends that monogamy is impossible and unnatural. Everyone there pretends to be offended, but it turns out that they were hiding some of their own secrets. Believe it or not, there are some very funny moments in this light fare. I laughed out loud a couple times at the guilt-ridden fantasies and nightmares of Jonathan Silverman. I especially loved when he is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, who gets quite addled when he finds out our boy is Jewish! I discovered that Silverman is a very fine comic actor who I have previously underestimated. In fact, the show is convincingly acted in general, considering it's basically just a lightweight sitcom with nudity. The best stuff, however, is Hudson Leick and some guy humping away like animals. Probably the most spirited and passionate screwing I've ever seen in a mainstream movie. It actually looks like real sex, and not the movie kind where they move gently while staring in each other's eyes.

    Hudson Leick (#1, #2, #3) Amy Yasbeck (#1, #2, #3) Leah Lail (#1, #2) Shawnee Free Jones (#1, #2) The obligatory anonymous nudity - corpses this time

    "Bound", from Tuna

    I heartily recommend this movie, but don't buy the DVD. Tuna and I both experienced the same thing, mainly that there are more explicit camera angles in other prints that simply didn't make it to the DVD. There isn't all that much nudity. (The last six here are non-nudes, which is pretty strange for this section!) On the other hand, it's really a good movie, and you won't mind seeing Tilly and Gershon together as lovers

    (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12) Four rasslin' mpgs from PicHound

    Miss Hancock slithers around. There are caps elsewhere on the page, so you can see if you want to go through the trouble of getting this. (No actual nudity, each one is about 1.5 meg) Miss Hancock slithers around. Miss Hancock slithers around. Miss Hancock slithers around.

    Members Bonus

  • Scanman did some new ones of Julie Delpy in "Killing Zoe". He is experimenting with larger images, and they came out quite good. As always, you can find him at
  • Delpy
  • Delpy
  • Delpy
  • one more from ScanMan. Sonja Kirchberger in "The True History of Men and Women"
  • two more of Peta Wilson in "Mercy"
  • Peta
  • montesol did a 1024x768 wallpaper of Rebecca Romijn as Mystique. He did these from the X-Men trailer, and it appears that the woman is naked except for some spray paint.
  • Four collages Pam Anderson on TFI Friday, from HenCap (no nudity)
  • Pam Anderson
  • Pam Anderson
  • Pam Anderson
  • Click Here!