Greaser's Palace (1972) could only have come from that era. Those who remember that time might recall that a common justification for having long hair was that Jesus had long hair, the implication being that hippies were more "Christlike" than the conservative Christians who were not very kind to longhairs. I suppose a natural outgrowth of that was making a hippy "Life of Christ" film, and Robert Downey (senior) stepped up to the plate. The Jesus character, Jessy (Alan Arbus) is a zoot suited wannabe song and dance man on a holy pilgrimage to the old west looking for the agent Morris. He enters a small town that seems to be entirely comprised of "Greaser's Palace" owned by local leader Seaweedhead Greaser and featuring performances from his daughter Cholera Greaser. Then there is his son, Lamy "Homo" Greaser, whom Seaweedhead keeps killing, but whom Jessy keeps resurrecting. Each time, Lamy describes his death experience as follows, "I was swimming in a rainbow with babies and they were all naked, then I turned into a perfect smile."
Jesse does some required schtick, including dancing on water, raising from the dead, healing cripples (one of them crawls into the palace chanting "I can crawl again," and curing an Indian chief by expert chiropractic manipulation. God the Father, after killing her husband and son, keeps shooting a pioneer woman with an air gun (no, not a bee bee gun, an imaginary gun) and an air bow and arrow. She is to become Judas, after Jessy heals her. The Holy Ghost, who wears a sheet with holes cut out for the eyes and a western hat, does a lot of complaining about being misunderstood and under-utilized.
Seaweedhead is terminally constipated, and a mariachi band is on hand to play whenever he is in the outhouse. Hervé Villechaize is married to a bearded man named Petunia. By now, you should have the idea that this is a seriously strange film. I suspect that viewers should prepare by trying to get as high as the film makers likely were.
The nudity is from Toni Basil, as a topless Indian scout. We see her breasts while running, talking in exaggerated sign language to a pipe smoking Indian who answers in perfect English, and riding a horse. Like this film itself, she is an original item from the 70s that is still around. She also appeared in 5 Easy Pieces and Easy Rider, had an International hit song "Mickey," directed a hit video of the song, and has done a lot of work with choreography, as recently as 2001.
I don't want to give away too much of the ending, but the final scene is a sunset shown in real time. IMDb readers have this at 5.1 of 10, and most of the comments are very positive. Seems like there are a lot of people who remember the 60s. I am sure by now you have already decided if you need to see this or not, but the proper score as a cult oddity is C+, as it doesn't not get much odder than this, and, in the proper frame of mine, has much symbolism and possibly a truth or two hidden in all the foolishness.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Into the Sun (2005):
It's the latest direct-to-vid from Big Steve Seagal, and it is
one of his best in the last five years. (I know that is faint
praise, but what am I supposed to say? It ain't fuckin' Casablanca,
now, is it?)
I wrote a lot, and I think it is pretty
entertaining. Check it out here.
Juliette Marquis (1,
2). A lot of people, including
Tuna, predicted stardom for her after This Girl's Life.
(Review here.) A minor role in a Seagal STV film doesn't seem
to be the destiny they planned for her. There is still plenty of
time, and she did a good job in the small role.
Kanako Tamaguchi. I assume she has breasts,
but I can't imagine where they might be. Look at how uncomfortable
Seagal looks in the sex scene. Well, how comfortable would you be
if you had to do a sex scene and you weighed 300 pounds?
Some other unknown or unknowns (1,
- No link here. Just in passing, here is how the Oscar Best
Picture and Best Director nominees are rated at IMDb, as compared
to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is rated the
highest of any 2004 film. (Eternal Sunshine was nominated for Best
- Eternal Sunshine 8.6
- Million Dollar Baby 8.4 (nominated Best Picture, Best
- Finding Neverland 8.2 (nominated Best Picture)
- Sideways 8.1 (nominated Best Picture, Best Director)
- Vera Drake 8.1 (nominated Best Director)
- Ray 7.9 (nominated Best Picture, Best Director)
- The Aviator 7.6 (nominated Best Picture, Best Director,
Clint Eastwood has now edged a hair ahead of Martin Scorsese in
the Oscar betting odds for Best Director. The Aviator
is still favored to win Best Picture, but is not a runaway
favorite. No other Oscar race is considered close.
"Empty praise - the kind showered on many kids years ago in the
name of self-esteem - did more harm than good." From
the Journal of the Obvious.
Brad Pitt signed to star in Chad Schmidt, the story of an actor
who looks like Brad Pitt. This could be really funny
and touching if written by Charlie Kaufman. Unfortunately, Mr
Kaufman is not attached to the concept.
Pauly Shore to get his own reality series. I think it
will be on community access in Fond du Lac and some of the
surrounding townships! Check your listings. Or Fond du Lac's
- The Onion:
Michael Moore Honored With New Ben & Jerry's Flavor -
The Waffle Truth
- If you are into both fonts and rock, this place is your
Music Band Fonts
'Dogs-playing-poker' fetch $590,000 at auction.
President George W. Bush reaffirmed his strong support for global
warming, arguing that the phenomenon helps to make the world a
"toastier, homier place."
Jon Stewart reports "The Shiites have won the Iraqi elections, but
try to keep the ululating to a minimum."
The Daily Show's "This Week in God"
Richard Gere says he offered J-Lo support during her break-up from
Affleck. This seems to be the same sense of the word
"support" that a push-up bra offers - several inches.
Here's the trailer for Don't Move, an arty Italian
melodrama written by, directed by, and starring Sergio Castellitto.
- "In perhaps the most existentially drawn sexual drama since
Last Tango in Paris, Don't Move is a grown-up, real life love
story between two desperate people told from the point of view
of a sensitive, angst-ridden male soul in mid-life crisis and a
wretchedly poor and lonely woman who has never experienced real
love in her life.
- This might be good news: the wretchedly poor woman is played
by Penelope Cruz, the wife is played by Claudia Gerini, and the
trailer seems to promise LOTS of nudity.
- European reviewers praised Cruz for her performance, and
also for her command of the Italian language. Otherwise,
reviewers were polarized into love and hate camps.
Here's the trailer for the highly anticipated The Hitchhiker's
Guide to the Galaxy
- "Don't Panic... Stick out your thumb to join the most
ordinary man in the world on an extraordinary adventure across
the universe in the hilarious comedy, 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy.' Earthman Arthur Dent is having a very bad day. His
house is about to be bulldozed, he discovers that his best
friend is an alien and to top things off, Planet Earth is about
to be demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Arthur's
only chance for survival: hitch a ride on a passing spacecraft.
For the novice space traveler, the greatest adventure in the
universe begins when the world ends. Arthur sets out on a
journey in which he finds that nothing is as it seems: he learns
that a towel is just the most useful thing in the universe,
finds the meaning of life, and discovers that everything he
needs to know can be found in one book: 'The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy.'"
- For those of you who thought Charlies Angels II was too deep
here's the trailer for D.E.B.S.
- Recruited by the U.S government for their unique ability to
lie, cheat and fight, Amy, Max, Janet and Dominique join an
underground academy of secret agents known only as D.E.B.S.
These crime fighting hotties set out to save the world and keep
their lipstick perfectly applied while doing so. Now the girls
must combine their skills for their most important mission - to
capture vexing vixen Lucy Diamond, the deadliest criminal the
world has ever known. When D.E.B.S. star player, Amy, falls for
Lucy, chaos erupts and the D.E.B.S. loyalty is put to the test.
First online look at the international trailer for Fantastic Four
The Rational Enquirer's Bomb-A-Tron: "Attention
Reporters: Use this tool to file your story about the latest car
bombing in Iraq."
- What'll ya have?
In a marketing first, Pabst Blue Ribbon sponsors an Oregon State
The Bill Cosby Fun Game. "Lure people towards you by
offering them pudding"
- Ever wish you had an extra brain? Of course you do!! But how?
Oz is a hell of a hike. Wait, two brains are better than one, you
could simply get
Dr. Karlosis's THINK TANK. This glowing life-like brain
in a bubbling self contained unit, is much like the ones from the
horror films of the 1950s.
Kid Rock arrested on assault charges.
News.Individual.NET is not free of charge anymore. This
represents another nail in Usenet's coffin, but I think the old
girl may still have some life in 'er.
Internet Explorer 7.0 will be available this summer.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
With a little help from Brainscan, this week's poll has been revised to...
Best Nude Performance by a model-turned-actress.
1.Grade-A top models only!
2.The actress/model must have done more than one movie.
3.The actress/model must have done a nude scene!
Here are a few nominees from Brainscan. Please Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.
Angie Everhart, "Sexual Predator", "Bare Witness"
Beverly Johnson, "Ashanti"
Carol Alt, "Bye Bye Baby"
Carre Otis, "Wild Orchid"
Catherine Oxenberg, "Time Served"
Cindy Crawford, "Fair Game"
Diane Kruger, "Troy"
Elle McPherson, "Sirens"
Ines Sastre, "Beyond the Clouds"
James King, "Happy Campers"
Jenny Shimizu, "Foxfire"
Laetitia Casta, "Gitano", "The Blue Bycicle"
Lauren Hutton, "American Gigolo", "Lassiter"
Melissa George, "Dark City"
Rachel Hunter, "Two Shades of Blue"
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, "Femme Fatale"
Rie Rasmussen, "Femme Fatale"
Here are the final results and comments for last week's poll Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Please Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...a very little known B-actress baring breasts and a bit of bum in two slow moving sex scenes scenes from an episode of "Women: Stories of Passion".
- Deirdre Imershein
- Deirdre Imershein zipped .wmvs
||The sexy Vulcan co-star of the recently cancelled "Enterprise" wearing some tight tops and possibly showing some breast views in scenes from "Diamond Hunters". I say *possibly* because we don't see her face clearly.
|From what Brainscan would call a "strip and wiggle" DVD. Here we see all 6 babes posing while partially dressed at the beach in scenes from "Exposed: TV's Lifeguard Babes" (1996). The each bare at least one breast, plus Comshaw, Bingham and Dali show a little bit of bum.
Note to Shauna O'Brien fans: in these 'caps we see the former Pet before she had the silly-cones installed.
|C2000 'caps of the former model turned actress baring her bum in scenes from the Brad Pitt movie "Troy".
|The busty and well-inked comedienne wearing a bikini top and showing off ample cleavage during a guest appearance on last week's episode of "Mad TV". She spent 8 seasons on "Mad TV", but recently left to make a few low-medium budget movies (including "Skin Deep" which features her showing off some of her implants!).
|Awesome, high quality 'caps by DeadLamb featuring some nudity from the ultra-lame horror flick "House of the Dead" (2003).
Erica Durance aka Erica Parker aka 'Lois Lane' on the WB series "Smallville" goes topless and shows off a thong view. Sonya Salomaa also gives up a little toplessness.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the "Scent of a Woman" star topless in scenes from the 1993 remake of the 1957 sci-fi classic, "Body Snatchers".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
TRIAL POSTPONED FOR MICHAEL'S FLU
He's Stable? That's Abnormal! - Tuesday, Michael Jackson's molestation trial
was delayed yet again after he was taken to a hospital with what his doctor
called a "flu-like illness with some vomiting." He said Michael is "in stable
condition, and we expect a full recovery."
It's the first time those words have ever been said about Michael Jackson.
Unless he sneezes and shoots his nose across the room.
He really needs to start buying better quality surgical masks.
Bending The Truth - The names of more possible celebrity defense witnesses
were revealed, including "psychic" spoonbender Uri Geller, Larry King, Quincy
Jones and "Tonight Show" host Jay Leno, who says he has no idea why he would be
called as a witness for Michael Jackson.
Hey, who knows more Michael Jackson jokes?
The rest of the list sounded so much like a "Tonight Show" guest list,
they figured, "Why not let Jay Leno host it?"
Well, has Michael Jackson ever molested him? NO!!
As long as Uri Geller's under oath, ask him if he can really bend spoons
with his mind.
CALIFORNIA MAY TAX BY THE MILE
Just Tax Cigarettes More! - California urged people to buy fuel-efficient
hybrid cars, but politicians now realize that the income they depend on from gas
taxes is dropping. So some are proposing taxing drivers by the mile.
Proponents say cars could be monitored via GPS devices to keep track of every mile
they drive inside California. The state would even know when and where you
drove, so they could charge more for people who drive in congested areas at rush
hour, to discourage traffic jams.
Being stuck in rush hour traffic would be a luxury you could no longer
How about if Californians just agreed to trade in their hybrids for
Of course, to pay for all that GPS tracking, they'll have to tax drivers
$10 a mile.
This is too complicated...If Californians aren't buying as much gas, then
just start taxing Starbucks coffee by the gallon.
Here's a better way to pay off the deficit: tax politicians for every
stupid idea they come up with.