Saturday

Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6..2.1 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Smooth Operator (1995) is a soft-core video romance novel. A successful business woman (Megan Hughes) decides to work out and flatten her tummy, and takes a tip from her secretary (Candace Camille Bender) on a gym and personal trainer. We see all three Bs from Candace as she gets very personal training indeed. The trainer, has no shortage of muscles, ambition, charm and sex drive. Hughes hires him to train her at her house, and he seduces her, with the idea of bettering his life. The relationship costs Hughes a promotion she was counting on. I won't reveal the ending, other than to say that it is a romantic and happy one.

This is targeted at the couples market, which is to say that it has enough flesh from both Hughes and Bender to keep men watching, but has themes, stories, and romance to engage women as well. (For those guys half asleep, watch this with your girlfriend, and get laid for sure). The acting seems a little un-natural in parts, and there was some very annoying orange lighting, but, all in all, this was a good genre effort. C.

THE OLYMPICS:

Dave Barry, a genuinely funny man from whom I steal as much as possible without getting caught, had the final say on the Olympic judging controversy.

HEY, SCOOP:

Hey, Scoop. I can't figure out how to sort stuff at Rotten Tomatoes. I noticed that some critics liked Glitter and Battlefield Earth. Has any movie ever been so bad that it received NO good reviews?

Yes. Amazingly enough, there have been 57 of them!  (link here) I think that page will also show you how to use the sorting function.

There have also been several with ALL good reviews (link here). The most recent major films to make it were The Truman Show, Chicken Run, and Toy Story 2. There is a current film, Wendigo, which is only in limited release in NYC, which is rated 100% so far.

Have there ever been any recent pictures with nudity that have received 100% positive reviews? (Ok, I made this question up myself, based on the one above)

Yes, depending on what you mean by "recent". In the past five years, for example, there are The Sweet Hereafter and Apocalypse Now Redux, two genuinely great movies.

Hey Scoop, I don't know if you're at all interested (doesn't have much to do with nudity) but I just had to tell someone about this.

The Fast and the Furious is a re-make of Point Break (Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze). I figured this out, because I was listening and not really watching, and I thought Keanu was in the movie. I am sure the actor in FnF must have watched Point Break for acting tips. Then I got to thinking: Point Break, surfing.  FnF, street racing. Point Break, FBI trying to catch bank robbers. FnF, FBI trying to catch Truck HiJackers. Point Break, agent falls for surfer's old girlfriend. FnF, agent falls for sister of hijacker.

They even had the same fight scene - nazi surfers on the beach in Point Break, nazi street racer outside of cafe in FnF. And the endings were the  same, agent befriends criminal and lets him go to his death in his own way (big wave in PB, crashing his Drag Racer into a Semi in FnF). I guess it's just too hard to come up with an original story these days.

Very reasonable and original point

Scoop,

Don't know if you've heard this yet but I got the following tidbit from a Charisma Carpenter interview in the British Maxim this month. This is a question and answer I took from the interview:

Q: OK, in your latest film The Groomsman you appear naked with a woman. Admit it, you enjoyed the experience, didn't you?

Carpenter: Oh I loved it! I play the lead character who has an affair with the postwoman. And yes, there's a scene where we're both naked in the shower and a lime green dildo is involved. I'm terribly shy, so doing nude was quite a problem for me. I made them close the set  because although ten million people might eventually see me naked in that scene, I just needed to feel comfortable and relaxed for that moment. But because the other girl was naked too, I felt much better about the whole thing.

I looked up the movie on IMDB and it looks like it's actually called "The Groomsmen" which the "smart" search engine couldn't interpolate from "the groomsman". There's not much info on this flick so I was wondering if anybody knows anything about it. I know I'm sure as hell interested.

 

MOVIES:

Lots of images today

Sean Young - the ol' girl just never quits with the nude scenes. How many more does she need for Julie Strain's record? The movie is 2001's Control. It's a missing person mystery in which four missing people are tied to the same psychologist (Sean Young). Were they murdered? Is she involved? It's one of those films where it doesn't add up because it turns out that everyone is trying to kill everyone else, while framing a third person. Add in the fact that Sean is using some loony, unorthodox sub-set of psychology based upon the teachings of ancient Sparta, and it has three separate endings. Every time you think it's over, they layer on an extra twist. Lame thriller with ludicrous unrealistic behavior from the main characters. Almost bad enough to be good. Almost.

• Sean Young (1, 2, 3)

The Big Bird Cage - yet another "Pam Grier in a Filipino prison" movie, 1972. Pam goes to prison on purpose in this one, when she and her partner on the outside team up to engineer a break. Sid Haig is quite funny as the rebel/racketeer who pretends to be gay to get in with  the prison guards. (In this version of the legend, the women's prison is manned by fancy lads.) I'm sure Tuna will cover this one more extensively, but here are the highlights.

• Pam Grier (only a nip slip) (1, 2)
• Anitra Ford - one of the original Price is Right girls. Beautiful woman who shows it all. Only drawback is that she has almost no breasts . (1, 2, 3)
• Karen McKevic - I suppose she's about 6'6", and rail thin. She is stark naked except for some lather here and there. (1, 2)
• Candice Roman

All Ladies Do It - Tinto Brass movie, 1992. I hate all of Tinto's films, but the images are always stylish. He has nudity and stylish sets and ....   This particular film is a specialty softcore for butt fetishists. I didn't do all the nudity. The DVD is woefully undercontrasted and many scenes look like they take place in a steamy shower room. (I don't know, but I assume the DVD transfer is the problem).

• But Claudia Koll is gorgeous, in a Rose McGowan, never seen the sun, kind of way
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

The Favor was made in 1991, shelved, then resuscitated in 1994 after some of the stars became bigger stars. (Mainly Brad Pitt, seen here  in his pre-God days, who was the fourth lead, and played kind of a wimp) So you know it must be good.

A married woman wants to see what it would have been like with her high school boyfriend, but she's devoted to her husband, so she asks her best friend to look up the ex-boyfriend so she can experience it vicariously. Then she gets jealous when the old friend likes it WAY too much. Like eight times in one night. Film looks quite good, but is a lame romantic farce, original only in that it is told entirely from the woman's POV. Almost no nudity.

• Elizabeth McGovern (a hint of areola)
• Harley Jane Kozak. (no nudity)

The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Angie Everhart getting it on! Gorgeous nudity...except for the all too obvious crotch patch. Both images are the same. #1 is the original at 400+k. #2 is a smaller version (175k). (1, 2)

• McKayla, topless and full frontal images.

• Ray Valenti, full frontal and dorsal nudity.

• Assorted nude unknowns

Hankster stayed up late to bring us 'caps from the Skinemax flick "Illicit Lovers" (1999). This one sorta has a plot. Let me rephrase....it has a decent excuse to put a guy with several naked chicks. A married couple begins to have some trouble when the hubby is laid off from his job. The wife thinks it would be a good idea to pimp out her husband to make some cash. At first to her friends, then to high paying clients.

Here's where it gets silly...the husband actually has some issues with this despite the fact that he's a)making money to have sex and b)his wife not only approves but sets up all of his dates. All I'm sayin' is where can I meet a girl like that!

Of course in the end it all works out. His last trick is a bored bazillionairess who is so satisfied, that she gives the hubby a job in her company so that he can stop being a man-whore. And everyone is happy.

Like I said, not really a plot, but a good excuse for the action that takes place...and of course, plenty of nudity!

• Gabriella Hall, baring her robo-hooters. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Julianne Manta, legs, partial breasts view, and getting it on. If memory serves, this was not a bad scene that also had much more nudity that we see here.

• Michelle Perry, big'uns and some partial bum exposure. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Zoe Paul, more fake boobs, and a nice pair of legs. (1, 2)

Meg Ryan Takes On Naughty Role

Actress Meg Ryan's to get sexy in her next movie after signing up for Nicole Kidman's producing debut. Kidman originally eyed erotic thriller In The Cut after optioning Susanna Moore's book out of her own pocket in 1996, but has since chosen to executive produce the film. The movie, to be directed by Oscar winner Jane Campion ("The Piano"), will start filming in April in New York, and focuses on a teacher who lives to take chances by night.