"One Hour Photo"

One Hour Photo (2002) finally arrived on DVD, and this is the best Robin Williams vehicle in a long time. Williams plays a lonely single man who has worked in the one hour photo department of Sav*Mart, a discount department store for ten years. He prides himself on his work, and has no other life, but lives vicariously through his customers and their pictures. He is especially attached to one family. While he is clearly disturbed, he is functional, until two things happen. He discovers that the husband of the family he dotes on is cheating from some pictures the other woman (Erin Daniels) drops off, and he is fired. With nothing to lose, and a deep sense of wrong on the part of the man who has everything he himself wants and is cheating anyway, he plots a revenge/wake-up call.

Williams nailed the role. The film was a first effort from writer/director Mark Romanek, and is one of the better freshman efforts I have seen. Lighting and color palette were used to show the SavMart as sort of a heavenly white cathedral, rich earth tones were used for the family, and every scene with Williams was somewhat drab and off-color. The music was appropriately creepy.

Erin Daniels shows first bush in an open robe, breasts, and then buns as Williams forces them to have simulated sex while he photographs them. IMDB readers say 7.4 of 10. Rotten Tomatoes has 82% positive, with 86% from the top guys. Ebert has it at 3 1/2 stars, and Berardinelli at 3. For me, it was a new premise, well made, and really held my interest. It was also totally believable. The genre is thriller, but it is not a typical one, and has broad appeal outside of the genre, and is hence a B.

  • Thumbnails

  • Erin Daniels (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    • New volumes for Bijou Phillips, Bobbie Phillips, Samantha Phillips, Paulina Porizkova, Jessica Paré, Tera Patrick, Piper Perabo, Sacha Peralta, Jennifer Ehle, Elvira, Claudia Karvan, Alexandra Kamp, Kimberly Kates, and Catherine Keener.
    • The Honte's Site of Swedish and International Celebs is updated!
    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. Charlie says, "Claire Keim is again the star of the week. I know you keep an eye on Elodie Bouchez. Her next film has everything to please you: Gerard Depardieu and evil twins."
      • To quote Marv Albert ............ YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
      • Actually, to really make my day, Depardieu would have to be speaking English. I actually kinda like him in some French movies. Going Places is one of my favorites, and I liked him a lot in Jean de Florette and The Return of Martin Guerre, for example. Of course, that was several hundred pounds ago. John Goodman once said "you know you're too fat when they make you lose weight to play Babe Ruth". Depardieu would have to lose weight to play Free Willy.
      • He's about right to play Brando, however.
      • And to make it my dream movie completely perfect, the evil twin would actually have to be an additional Depardieu. And maybe throw in some twin Roberto Benignis as well, tripping over some banana peels and stepping on some rakes! That would be wacky non-stop fun indeed!

    Other crap:

    What're the odds?

    Not too long ago, I wrote about (see banner above), that crazy offshore betting site that runs odds on the Oscars. As I kept looking through their site, I got more and more fascinated by the things you can bet on, and I decided to make it a regular feature. I'm not a betting man myself, but the whole subject fascinates me. You can bet, for example, on the RAZZIES! Britney and Madonna are really running neck and neck for that Worst Actress award (slight edge to Britney) and their films are battling it out for Worst Picture (slight edge to Madge).

    Worst Actor in a Leading Role. Closing Date: Mar 22, 2003 12:00

    Eddie Murphy 1/1, Adrinao Giannini 5/2, Adam Sandler 13/4, Roberto Begnini 17/4, Steven Segal 9/2

    Worst Actress in a Leading Role  Closing Date: Mar 22, 2003 12:00

    Britney Spears 5/4,  Madonna 7/5, Jennifer Lopez 37/20, Winona Ryder 13/2, Angelina Jolie 18/1

    Worst Picture  Closing Date: Mar 22, 2003 12:00

    Swept Away 3/4,  Crossroads 11/10, The Adventures of Pluto Nash 15/4, Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio 8/1, Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones 20/1

    Looks like my main man, Benigni, is out of it. I'm sure he'll double the pratfalls next year. As we speak, he's working on his techniques for tripping over several new forms of fruit rinds, and I hear that he's going to attempt the much more daring "vegetable fall" next year as well. He's also sponsoring some much-needed research into developing sillier bells for his cap, thus finding a way to open up the "fool's bell bottleneck" that has limited foolish comics to the same basic bell technology their predecessors used in the middle ages. And he's been practicing in front of the mirror hour after hour on his funny faces, so with a bit of luck he should kick some ass next year.

    Especially if he can land his dream project:  Roberto Benigni's Hamlet. There are some who say he's too old to play a Hamlet fresh from he university, but I say fie on the nay-sayers. Roberto played Pinocchio this year, and that's an eight year old boy!

    Oh, yeah, you can bet on any sporting event, of course, but here's some other stuff you can bet on.

    • Bush-Schröder-Calmund: Who will lose his Job first?
    • When will Gerhard Schröder lose his Job?
    • Party to win the 2004 US Presidential Elections.
    • Will Arnold Schwarzenegger run for Governor of California in 2006?
    • Will Roman Polanski win the Best Director Oscar?
    • Who will be the next Pope?
    • Will the American Idol winner be male of female?



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    It's a cleavage only day for the "Hankster".

    First it's Ami Dolenz in "Demolition University" who gives us a pretty nice down blouse as she gets ready to make a run in a track practice scene.

    • Ami Dolenz (1, 2, 3)

    Then it's on to my queen of the B-movies Shannon Tweed in "Shadow Warriors", who actually keeps her clothes on in this flick but does give us some fantastic cleavage.

    • Shannon Tweed (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Brigitte Petit Scenes from her one and only IMDb credit...playing a nude dancer in "Le Parfum d'Yvonne" (1994).

    Sandra Majani
    (1, 2, 3)

    More lovely toplessness from "Le Parfum d'Yvonne" (1994).

    Elke Sommer Very nice toplessness in scenes from "La Casa dell'esorcismo" (1973).

    Sylva Koscina Also from "La Casa dell'esorcismo" (1973). Topless and getting felt up in a love scene.

    Romane Bohringer
    (1, 2, 3)

    Plenty of bare bum and some breast exposure from the French actress in scenes from "Total Eclipse" (1995).

    Jennifer Garner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The "Alias" and "Daredevil" star looking stunning on Conan.

    Jennifer Garner A bonus pic of Garner at the "Daredevil" premiere.

    Clara Morgane
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    A few nude poses (with grear rear nudity) of the French model and web-babe. Links 1-4 are from the French FHM.

    PETA babes
    (1, 2, 3)

    PETA babes protesting semi-nude. Apparently, even though "fur is murder", breast implants are ok.

    Rae Dawn Chong
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    A little on the dark side, but here are 'caps by Señor Skin of the famous stoner's daughter topless in scenes from "Power of Attorney" (1995).

    Sarah Wynter A great collage by Dann of the Aussie actress and co-star of the FOX series "24" briefly showing her breasts and bum in a scene from the Ah-nuld movie "The 6th Day".

    "Nicki" From the premiere of the new "reality" series "Are You Hot?". In this case...yes, she is.

    Moran Atias
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Great scans by Nero of the Italian model. Nip slips and plenty of partial breast exposure.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    And That's Just On His Eyebrows - Brace for more Michael Jackson on your TV: Monday's NBC "Dateline" is called "Michael Jackson Unmasked," and it will focus on how his changing face has paralleled the changes in his fortunes. As for his claim that he's had only two operations, NBC interviewed a top L.A. plastic surgeon who used to share a practice with Michael's doctor, and he estimates Michael has had "well over 50" operations on his face.

  • And by "well over 50," he means 374.
  • In Michael's world, 50 equals 2.
  • The doctor got suspicious when his partner bought an 80-foot yacht and named it "The Michael."
  • He has had only two operations...One lasted from 1981 to 1989, and the other lasted from 1990 to today.

    Pee Wee's Play-With-Yourself House - The Los Angeles D.A.'s office is opposing Paul Reubens' bid to have kiddie porn charges dropped on grounds that his erotica collection is merely historical art, vintage photos and kitsch. They say it doesn't matter if it was made before child porn laws were passed; that his "vintage film clips" are actually a "massive library" of porn movies of teenage boys performing sex acts; and what he calls "isolated images" are really sexually explicit magazines with titles like "101 Boys," "Hot 'n Hung," "Young and Ready" and "Teen Nudes."

  • It's like a garage sale at the Neverland Ranch.
  • But it is historical! It's for guys with a long history of pedophilia!
  • He has the only existing copy of the X-rated version of the Our Gang film, "He-Man Woman Hater's Club."
  • His lawyer is arguing that it's not child porn because all the kids in those magazines and movies are in their 60s by now.

    We Felt So Lied To! - Fans of Fox's "Joe Millionaire" are furious over Monday's show, which turned out to be nothing but a recap and a tease when viewers thought they'd learn which girl he'd picked. Fox apologized in its website, admitting they might have "gone a little over the top with our promos." But many fans posted angry messages on their bulletin boards, saying they'll never trust Fox again and threatening not to watch the finale.

  • Fox executives replied, "Right, like THAT'S gonna happen!"
  • Oh come on! I'll bet these people watched last night's REPEAT of the recap!
  • How can you NOT trust the people who came up with "Joe Millionaire?"
  • How dare Fox claim that the episode was something that it really wasn't?!