Barb Wire (1996) is a post apocalyptic (in this case US second civil war) Pamela Anderson vehicle. She is a former resistance fighter, now a mercenary, living in the only free city left, running her bar, and doing the odd bounty hunter gig to pay the bills. In the opening scene, she is dancing and swinging on a trapeze with her breasts hanging out being sprayed with water. This is a night club act, and everything goes fine until a customer calls her "babe." Not a good idea, and she throws her high heel and kills him instantly, saying, "Don't call me Babe."
A government scientist discovered that the government killed an entire city testing a biological weapon, and goes over to the resistance with the antidote to the weapon in her DNA. She hopes to escape to Canada and expose this to the world, if only she can get her hands on a special set of contact lenses that will fool retina scanners, the current method of proving ID. She is traveling with Anderson's old resistance partner and flame. The Congressional's (the government bad guys) are out to prevent this at any cost.
Anderson is big and bad, and has a real attitude, but not much acting range in this film, and everyone else is like a comic book stereotype. However, the film looks great. I have no idea what their budget was, but the sets and lighting were imaginative and very effective. Much of the story seemed a homage to Casablanca.
Anderson shows breasts in the opening scene (during the title credits), in a bath, and changing. There is a full ten minutes of out-takes of the trapeze and water spray scene on the DVD. IMDB readers have it at 3.2 of 10. Ebert gives 2 1/2 stars, but gives them some credit for at least trying. Berardinelli savaged it at one star. It is not much of a story and the acting is abysmal, but some of the fights are good, and the sets and lighting are very good. Based on this, it is a C-.
"Never Say Never Again"
Never Say Never Again (1983) is available on DVD from MGM, but not as part of their Bond Special Editions. The DVD transfer itself is very good, but there are no special features. It is not a bad bond film except for two things. They were not allowed to use the opening Bond credits, and were not allowed to use the Bond theme music. The music by Michel Legrand just did not have the right tone for 007.
They handled Connery's age pretty well in the plot, and I am not about to argue with Kim Basinger and Barbara Carrera as Bond Girls. It was time to try an upgrade of Bassinger's see through. As always, this Bond suckered me into watching the entire thing yet again. Say what you will, they are entertaining. All the previous images are still available in the Tuna archive. In keeping with recent reviews, I will give this one a C, not the best of the Bond films, but entertaining none the less.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
As you may know, Paris Hilton's full-length video is now available on
Trust Fund Girls is the site that has the complete 37 minute
Paris Hilton video. It is pricey. 50 bucks gets you 5 days of
access, but NOT permanent rights, and you can watch it no more than
five times. It's copy-protected, it will only play on the Windows Media Player 9, and the video is DirectX, so
there are no
easy screen snaps. The video is, however, completely legit. I paid my fifty bucks
and watched it. It is certainly Paris and Rick. It finishes with
a five to seven minute BJ, in good natural light (not
night-vision), with Paris's breasts in the shot the entire time.
The grand finale is a money shot on her chest. These two would
make excellent porn stars. Rick has a big one which stays hard
constantly, and Paris is a champion sword swallower.
The original video delivers a
640x480 (nearly DVD specs) picture in 144 meg, with satisfactory video. It is
technically excellent for a home video. The rips I have seen offer a 304x256
picture and have some quality issues, but are watchable. Compare them for
Here are some captures from the rip. (1,
Still more captures from the rip. Paris showing off her breasts and complete lack of pubes and Paris giving a serious BJ
Here is a .wmv file of the last minute or so, also from the rip.
If you see this, you've seen the highlight.
By the way, Paris's sister is gorgeous, and very girl-next-door
You will find many more Paris-related links in Other Crap and
also probably some newer ones at www.othercrap.com
- This is FANTASTIC! Four stars.
Raging Fred. Some crazy bastards took an episode of The
Flintstones and overdubbed the dialogue from Raging Bull.
- New pics from
Harry Potter and whatever he's up against this time.
- Oh, I just want to leap around the room in joy, like Snoopy in
those old Peanuts cartoons. A new trailer for
Dirty Dancing 2 : Havana Nights
- A film without Paris! Trailer for
The Snow Walker , Barry Pepper movie about wilderness
survival, and mysticism, and whatever.
One more source for the Paris Hilton video,
this one in .avi format.
One more source for the full-length Paris
Hilton video, .wmv format.
Paris Hilton Sex Tape News - comparing the
original source to the rips floating around the internet.
Google Search: miserable failure. The rights and lefts
are waging quite a war on this meaningless crap. As of yesterday,
George Bush had been displaced as Google's #1 response for
miserable failure. As of today, he's back on top.
Official Paris Hilton Video Download Links
for people with Bit Torrent or E-Mule. If you
don't know what that means, you may want to skip this link.
- More links to the
full Paris Hilton Sex Video.
Kerry sex scandal update: Presidential hopeful John
Kerry was branded a "sleazeball" last night by the parents of a
young woman he allegedly tried to woo. "Woo" is the word
newspapers use when they mean "fuck".
- Famed douchebag Ralph
Nader is expected to launch a new bid for the White House.
He will not be the Green Party candidate this year. He'll either
head up the Extremely Silly Party or form his own, tentatively
called the Birthday Party.
CBS Apologizes for the Grammy Show, and for every other
Grammy Show since the beginning of time. They have also apologized
for the poor quality of all future Grammy shows.
Tarantino to head the jury at the Cannes movie festival
- URL says it all -
"I gotta have more cowbell."
FUCK! An entire page dedicated to the most powerful and
versatile word in the English language.
Presidential interview doubles the ratings for Meet the Press.
Canada Condemns 'Racist' Conan O'Brien TV Show...
because they really wanted the acerbic comic to come to Canada,
but they didn't want him to make fun of any Canadians. "We offer
our apology and assurance that it is never our intention to air
programing that offends any of our viewers. Except those French
fucks, of course." Seriously, they really said they never intended
to offend anyone! Presumably, none of them had ever watched
Conan's show before they invited him up there. I wonder why they
think he's called "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog" if he never
intends to offend anyone. Let me just state for the record that at
Other Crap it is always our intention to offend everyone!
The Cathedral, an amazingly pretentious but nonetheless
excellent presentation of the details of a cathedral, including
the mood. Turn off your sound if you are at work.
Martin Scorsese wants to make a movie about the mob in Hong Kong.
Laws of Attraction. Romantic comedy with Pierce Brosnan
and Julianne Moore doing a Tracy/Hepburn act.
The federal budget published last week contains 27 glossy photos
of President Bush. "We see the president in front of a
giant American flag, in front of the Washington Monument,
comforting an elderly woman in a wheelchair, helping a small child
with his reading assignment, building a trail through the
wilderness and, of course, eating turkey with the troops in Iraq.
Somehow the art director neglected to include a photo of the
president swimming across the Yangtze River."
Senate's Iraq Probe to Include Bush, Aides. "The Senate
Intelligence Committee said Thursday that it planned to
investigate whether White House officials exaggerated the Iraq
threat or pressured analysts to tailor their assessments of
Baghdad's weapons programs to bolster the case for war."
Judge Wants Jackson Case Heard This Year: "The judge in
Michael Jackson's child-molestation case said Friday he wants the
trial to take place this year, and lawyers predicted they would be
ready to go in December." December? You know, for the kids.
Kylie's knickers get lippy.
The Daily Show looks at "This Week in God"
The Daily Show looks at the controversy over President's military
Jon Stewart looks at Wesley Clark's failure in the primaries.
- Associated press says:
President Bush orders complete release of all of his military
Paris Hilton Sex Tape Information - more mysteries. (1)
This site claims that the video can be linked to Jim Salomon,
Rick's brother. (2) This is certainly consistent with the data we
uncovered yesterday, that the domain trustfundgirls.com was
registered eight months ago. Who else would have known about the
tape back then, except the participants or their immediate
confidantes? (3) The site also suggests that Paris may have been
17 when it was filmed, although she specifically says on the tape
that she is 19.
BLOGWARS.COM - minute by minute description of the Paris Hilton
- Arena Football cheerleaders:
the New York Dragons Firedancers
Hello Domino's? Yeah, I want the three topping deal - with
sausage, pepperoni and ... um ... viagra.
Recruits, strippers a 'tradition' at Colorado and elsewhere..
These NCAA people need to get in touch with reality. If I'm a
high-school all-American, I ain't goin' to your school unless you
show me a REALLY good time when I visit your campus. And I don't
care about the quality of your library or the beauty of your
setting. (Wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
Mitchell & Ness Nostalgia Co.. Sports jerseys from the
Sexual Positions Free - Learn Some New Sexual Positions
Microsoft grapples with leak of source code online.
Pieces of Windows 2000 and NT 4.0 are now compromised.
A teenage boy posing as a banker duped an Ohio car dealership into
delivering a $123,000 BMW to him at his high school.
Have the survivor results been compromised? The
submitter of this link wrote,
"this one is VERY interesting. Ain't It Cool News has found
out the exact order of Survivor All-Star elimination. No...this
is not some scheme where someone found X's placed on Survivor
faces on some web site. (Remember the first season of Survivor?)
It appears that someone posted an episode by episode
"prediction," with episode recaps days before the first show
aired (it followed the Super Bowl Feb 1). So far the poster is
three for three (on both predicted castaways and series recaps).
This is way to unlikely to be a good luck guess...the odds of a
mathematical prediction alone of getting the first three of
eighteen right has to be outlandish.
So who has posted this? A producer...doubt it. An
editor...maybe. A member of the film crew...most likely. This
will be big news as the next few episodes unfold, and CBS will
be very upset. Unless they know about it, and the poster is
Extreme-sports nuts are getting even crazier, taking their
daredevil stunts to new heights: Skydiving without a parachute!
"If you hit right, you can usually land with only some broken
bones and maybe a few lacerations or puncture wounds. Most of the
fatalities happen in the earlier stages of learning the sport."
More about Courtney Love's discussion with Howard Stern
WhosLying.org catches Matt Drudge in a few crafty whoppers.
Former pro wrestler Brutus Beefcake causes an anthrax scare.
Turns out it was cocaine, which he was using on the job.
The Straight Dope: What the hell is a meme and how do you
Assholes are more likely to be smokers! Brain imaging
studies suggest that the same genetic variations that give people
hostile personality traits may also make them more likely to
become addicted to nicotine.
According to MGM, Pierce Brosnan is still 007.
Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich took his quest for
a girlfriend to late-night television - and won a date with
actress Jennifer Tilly
The full Paris Hilton sex video in .wmv
retroCRUSH presents the pin-up art of Bill
Where Did all of Howard Dean's Money Go? According to
Newsweek, he spent it all on cowbells. He's definitely Christopher
Walken's top candidate. Gotta have more cowbell.
The 50 Greatest Movie Animals. Toto from the Wizard of
Oz finished first, just edging out Brian Dennehy.
Monty Python and The Holy Grail has been named by film fans as the
best British picture of all time. And Python's Life of
Brian finished sixth! Other top finishers: A Clockwork Orange,
Trainspotting, Lawrence of Arabia, The Third Man.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you'll get an
- Ture or false? The following is a real headline:
Actress And Anti-War Activist Jane Fonda Speaks to a crowd of
Vietnam Veterans as Activist and Former Vietnam Vet John Kerry
(LEFT) listens and prepares to speak next concerning the war in
Vietnam (AP Photo) " Answer - the caption and the
accompanying photograph are completely fake.
- A day after leaving the race,
General Wesley Clark admitted today that he detests Madonna,
telling reporters, "Sucking up to that ho was the low point of my
- The National Enquirer headlines:
Matthew Perry Relapses Into Drug & Booze Nightmare
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Only one vid from Shiloh today, but it is awesome. A
cable show from the UK about the rockin' carpet munchers, Rockbitch
(.avi version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
A whole mess of paparazzi pics from Brainscan:
- Adriana Lima, two skimpy outfits...#1 shows a nice partially covered rear, #2 shows excellent push-up style cleavage.
- Alicia Keys
- Anna Friel, topless.
- Anna Kournikova, looking gorgeous.
- Beyoncé Knowles, upskirt panty views.
- Courtney Peldon, WOW! The "Boston Public" co-star barely dressed and looking fantastic as she shows off some cleavage and thong views.
- Daisy Fuentes, cleavage.
- Gisele Bundchen, on the runway.
- Jennifer Esposito
- Jennifer Love Hewitt, barely containing the goods in her Oscar dress.
- Julia Volkova aka the good looking pseudo-lesbian from the Russian pop group T.A.T.U.
- Mena Suvari
- Paris Hilton
- Penny Lancaster, wearing a see-thru dress showing off her thong
- Roselyn Sanchez, the sexy star of the mega-lame "Boat Trip" wearing a very lo-cut dress.
- Tina Barrett, one of the members of the pop group S Club 7, barely dressed out in public.
- Uma Thurman
- Victoria Beckham
- Victoria Hervey, see-thru nipple sighting
- Vivica Fox, great cleavage.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Rod Steele 0014: You Only Live Until You Die"
What makes this 2002 direct-to-video spoof work is the good job that Robert Donovan does as Rod Steele, Agent 0014. Steele is a low-rent James Bond, not quite good enough to be in single digits, but still very cool and very British.
The plot predictably has Steele facing arch-villainess Tangerina and of course to do this, he's given a box (looks like an oversized TV clicker) that has several tools just made for villainess fighting. Unfortunately, the box is accidentially switched with a box which causes uncontrollable sex urges. Hey, why not, happens to me all the time. :-)
Of course it's very lame and just an excuse for tons of nudity and fake sex, but Donovan pulls it off so well, as do most of the other actors, and the script is very funny, so this is definitely worth watching. Even people who aren't attracted to the nudity and sex will get a lot of laughs from this one.
||The sexy Vulcan showing a little bit of bum right before she gets it on in a scene from the most recent episode of "Enterprise".
|Another round of classic "adult cinema" from Marvin. Here's Bovee showing all in hardcore 'caps from the 1978 movie "Sex World".
|Señor Skin 'caps of the former contestant on the NBC series "The Apprentice" baring all in scenes from "Red Shoe Diaries 17: Swimming Naked".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
GOVERNMENT SUPPORT OF MUSIC WANNABES NOT PAYING OFF
Raw Deal For Taxpayers - Critics of a British government program called "The
New Deal For Musicians" claim it's wasting taxpayer money. The program has
spent 14 million pounds ($29.4 million US) on classes and cash grants for 13,000
people who want to be DJs or pop stars. Opponents say they've seen no proof
that any of them have managed to find work in the music industry.
If they have, next, the government will have to pay people to listen to
They should put Simon Cowell in charge of it.
The taxpayers paid $4 million just to try to teach one guy how to do a
passable version of "She Bang."
But the government subsidy helps solve the chronic shortage of untalented
people who want to become pop stars.
POLICE SEARCH FOR GIANT-BREASTED WOMAN
How Could She "Skip" Anywhere? - Police in Italy are looking for a woman who
had a plastic surgery clinic install the biggest silicone breast implants
available, then skipped out without paying the $9,500 (US) surgery bill. She used
a fake name, but police are hoping that a photograph and her unusually large
bra size will help locate her.
They're pretty sure she'll stand out in any crowd.
They're asking Italian men to be on the lookout for a woman with huge
breasts...Yeah, like they really had to ask.
They're staking out all the chiropractors' offices.
They plan to charge a cover and a two-drink minimum to watch the police
NEW LIFELINES FOR "SUPER MILLIONAIRE"
You Bet Your Life - ABC announced that its new $10 million version of "Who
Wants To Be A Millionaire" will include two new lifelines at the big money
levels, to encourage people to play on for bigger stakes. The "Double Dip"
lifeline will let players opt to take a second question if they miss the first one.
And for the "Three Wise Men" option, players can seek advice from three smart
people backstage, such as journalists, scholars or previous "Millionaire"
...Who only won because they called for help from their mothers.
If they're New York Times journalists, don't believe any answer they give
If they get it wrong and cost someone $10 million, THEY'LL be the ones
who'll need a lifeline to survive.