"The Big Blue"
The Big Blue (1988) is a Luc Besson film available on DVD in a directors cut with an additional 49 minutes of running time. There is more than enough running time to explore several relationships, and, in the end, I think that is what this film is about. It could be summarized as a pecker contest between French American Jacques (Jean-Marc Barr) and Italian Enzo (Jean Reno) for the worlds deepest free dive championship and a love story between Jacques and Rosanna Arquette, an insurance secretary who falls instantly in love with him in Peru, and follows him to Italy. Jacques and Enzo grew up together on a Greek island, and shared a competitive love of the sea and diving. After Enzo makes it big, he sends for Jacques to compete.
None of the relationships are simple. Enzo and Jacques have a deep friendship born of common history, mutual respect and a common love, the sea. Yet, they are fierce competitors. Jacques is completely enamored of Arquette, but only comes alive swimming with dolphins, and his real mistress is the bottom of the ocean. Arquette sees early on that the sea is her rival, but hopes her love is enough to carry the relationship.
If this sounds like a lot of relationship talk for a film about a pecker contest, you are starting to get the idea. There is a lot of positive news, including good breast exposure from Arquette, as well as some see through action, wonderful photography shot in Peru, New York, Sicily, France and Greece, and some amazing underwater dolphin shots. It is a very long watch in this extended version, although it does at least make sense now with the additional material.
IMDB has it at 7.3 of 10. This is a difficult one for me to score. I made it through the entire thing this time without the fast forward, and felt that I knew the characters. I understood the dark and rather strange ending. As it was my first viewing, the cinematography and locations were one of the stars of the film this time through it. I suppose this is an epic character driven drama, and the criteria becomes are these people you would willingly spend that much of your life with. I am going to say C, a very solid if somewhat long film that genre fans should see once.
"On the Line"
On the Line (1984), at its most basic level, is a 50 year old putdown:
"Do you know what Chuck did with his first 50 cent piece?"
"He married her."
However, this was a near miss, and only lacked one casting decision and a little direction of being an excellent film. Jeff Delger as Chuck and his best friend Jonathan (Paul Richardson) leave the midwest and move to Laredo to meet up with Chuck's uncle (David Carridine), who they think is a border patrolman. Turns out uncle has changed sides, and is now a "coyote," actually smuggling illegals into the country. His rival is hardass and bigoted border patrolman Scott Wilson.
The kids end up joining the border patrol, and Chuck discovers the joy of sex across the border with Victoria Abril. He is instantly in love and wants to be with her always. Scott Wilson also has the hots for her, doesn't want to lose his favorite regular piece, and feels like a whore and a wetback are nothing but dirt anyway.
Chuck marries Abril and smuggles her into the US, but Wilson gets her deported. When Chuck switches sides, he is caught by his former colleagues for smuggling.
The biggest problem with this film was Jeff Delger. The role cried out for a Ferris Buehler, and we got Jason Priestly on prozac instead. There were a host of colorful characters, interesting moral dilemmas, good perspective on the entire illegal immigrant problem, and some great locations. The two young recruits were a good study in contrasting character types, as were Wilson and Carridine. Sam Jaffe had an entirely too brief cameo. Abril shows everything in a very well lit nude scene. There is a darker sex scene later, but very little is shown.
IMDb readers have this at 4.6 of 10, which is not entirely fair. There is much of merit in the film, and promise of much more. This is a C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
I didn't get anything written up or collaged today, because I spent the
entire day on Paris Hilton watch, with disappointing results.
As you may know, Paris's full-length video is now available on
Trust Fund Girls is the site that has the complete 37 minute
Paris Hilton video. It is pricey. 50 bucks gets you 5 days of
access, not permanent rights, you can watch it no more than
five times, it's copy-protected, it will only play on the
Winbdows Media Player 9, and the video is DirectX, so no
easy screen snaps. The video is, however, completely legit. I paid my fifty bucks
and watched it. It is certainly Paris and Rick. It finishes with
a five to seven minute BJ, in good natural light (not
night-vision), with Paris's breasts in the shot the entire time.
The grand finale is a money shot on her chest. These two would
make excellent porn stars. Rick has a big one which stays hard
constantly, and Paris is a champion sword swallower.
As of now, some guys have hacked it and you'll be seeing free
versions on the web and on Usenet soon. (If you are into Usenet,
keep an eye on alt.binaries.multimedia.nude.celebrities, and
You read a couple of days ago that Paris was suing some company
in Panama. Nobody seemed to know who they are or what they have to
do with the video. The origional players were Paris, Salomon, and an
internet company in Seattle. This trustfundgirls.com domain is
registered to a company in Czech - well, at least that's what
they say. All their addresses and phone numbers are completely
bogus, so they probably just picked The Czech Republic at random.
But here's a fact which is even more mysterious - the company
registered this domain on June 5 of last year! Have they known for
all those months that they were going to get this video? And what
the hell does Panama have to do with anything?
Stay tuned. You know there has to be a lot more that we don't
ONE .WMV FILE:
- Swordfish. Hey, it's only a quick look at some breasts, but
they are in good light, and they belong to Halle Berry. That's
enough for me.
- Charlie's French Celebrity Nudity site is updated. Charlie also
brought us some news of a new film not yet in theatrical release:
"We already have a VERY strong contender for the best nude
scene of 2004. (Neve Campbell will have to really get loose in
her much publicized upcoming one if she wants to win it).
You may remember a few months ago I mentioned a full frontal
aquatic scene for Juliette Lewis in the upcoming Blueberry.
Well, it has just been released and I was able to screen it.
She is indeed fully nude underwater, but more than that. Unexpectedly, she also
spreads her legs wide, very explicitly, looking at you
invitingly in a lengthy and clear shot! Had she not been an
unshaved brunette, very little would have been left to your
The film opens with a nice nude scene of Vahina Giocante and
ends with Juliette underwater. The 2 hours in between are
pretty boring despite great cinematography: way too many
Indian spirits & dreaming sequences and not enough fight
scenes and gun shots for a western (not to mention the erratic
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you'll get an
- Ture or false? The following
is a real headline:
Actress And Anti-War Activist Jane Fonda Speaks to a crowd of
Vietnam Veterans as Activist and Former Vietnam Vet John Kerry
(LEFT) listens and prepares to speak next concerning the war in
Vietnam (AP Photo) " Answer - the caption and the
accompanying photograph are completely fake.
- A day after leaving the race,
General Wesley Clark admitted today that he detests Madonna,
telling reporters, "Sucking up to that ho was the low point of
my entire life."
- The National Enquirer
Matthew Perry Relapses Into Drug & Booze Nightmare
Congress gets tough with TV "indecency". Because when it
comes to enforcing high standards, nobody is more moral than the
Most Americans believe that President Bush either lied or
deliberately exaggerated evidence that Iraq possessed weapons of
mass destruction in order to justify war, according to a new
Washington Post-ABC News poll. The same poll shows that the
President is at the lowest approval rate of his presidency on
February 11, and trails Kerry 51-43 head to head. (Poll taken
before any of the Kerry infidelity rumors circulated)
Independent analyst concludes that the NHL's finances are
skating on very thin ice. A lockout is expected September
15th. Some pessimists are saying that the league may just fold
and start over again.
Kiefer Sutherland in a Bar Brawl
Mark Miremont's MODERN PINUPS
are both sexy and arty.
Shandi Sullivan, the gawky finalist on 'America's Next Top
Model', was arrested in May 2001, and charged with burglarizing
a Kansas City candy store called Mr. Bulky's. The Smoking
Gun has the goods.
- How to speak Dubya.
The Solecisms of George W. Bush, President of the United States
Paris Hilton's FHM layout. Bikinis and almost-nudes.
- A man attacked by a shark
while snorkeling had to swim back to shore, walk to his car, and
then drive to a surf club for help --
with the shark still attached to his leg.
- According to some sources who
appear to be insane,
Israeli police have come up with plans to place bags of pig fat
on buses in a bid to deter Palestinian militants from carrying
out suicide attacks.
If it doesn't repel Moslems, it should
at least get quite a few tourists from Alabama.
JoBlo.com talks to the director of Club Dread.
Courtney Love makes disjointed, lunatic call to Howard Stern to
deny that she's a disjointed lunatic.
- Woo-hoo! The trailer is
finally up for
Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights. In the immortal word(s) of
Marv Albert ...... "yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!"
Colin Powell goes ballistic at hearing, scolds the crowd!
The normally even-tempered Secretary of State did a whole
"second rate English teacher who can't control his class" thing,
saying, "are you shaking your head for something, young man,
A former senior aide of Saddam Hussein claims the dictator was
probably high on drugs when he decided to invade Kuwait in 1990.
"Dude, I ordered what? Whoa. I thought I was calling Domino's"
Well, that explains not only the invasion, but also the black
light posters, the lava lamps, the late night snacking, and why
he had Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love on speed dial.
Joyce's 'Ulysses' - brilliant use of language or
incomprehensible gibberish. Actually, Ulysses is not that
hard a read if you are into serious literary books. But
Finnegan's Wake - now that's incomprehensible gibberish! The
interest in Joyce is building because Ulysses is set in June,
1904, so the centenary approaches.
The Harvard H-Bomb is not porn. To clarify, it will be a
magazine about sex and sexual issues with pictures of naked
college students. Not porn. Nosireebob.
- Drudge says:
Dean reversed his decision to drop out of the race after
Wisconsin because of impending Kerry sex scandal
Barbie and Ken 'Split' After 43 Years. Ken's just been all
crazy with the Porsche and the bling-bling and the comb-over,
and Barbie told him to work out that mid-life thing on his own.
- This video I want to see.
Oprah doing tequila shots at Travolta's birthday party
Jacko doesn't have jack. He's out of spondulicks, and short
of jack. Oh!
If you older guys really miss Space Invaders, play it online.
Want To Be a Monty Python? Open casting begins for a movie
about the six comic lunatics when they were young.
Paris Hilton's sex tape: the director's cut.
Saddam Hussein planned to destroy America by luring every man,
woman and child onto the Atkins Diet.
- A gazillion naked pictures of
- Here is the teaser trailer for
- Four more free videos from
Playboy's Amateur Home Videos!
Liam Neeson will play a villain in the new Batman movie.
Halle Berry, who wraps production on Catwoman next week, will
join Rosie Perez, Liev Schreiber and Jeffrey Wright in
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
1. An obscure movie, but a great nude scene. Kelly
Lynch running around buck naked in Warm Summer Rain, which has never
come to DVD. (.avi version, .wmv version)
2. Kathleen Turner and Bill Hurt in one of the
sexiest films ever made, one which made them both A-list stars: Body
version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Bummer (1973) is a story of rock band and its
groupies. The band is a quartet, the groupies a trio.
And therein lies the problem because of two unnatural
1) The groupies are monogamous. Rather than spread
the wealth, each finds her fella and beds him only.
Think of them as groupies with a strong moral
footing... an extinct species.
2) The band members are otherwise without female
companionship. No girlfriends, no other groupies, no
one but the three girls in question. That is just
plain silly. Even the least attractive, scrawny-assed
rock musician gets more poontang than Hef himself.
Look at Steve Tyler. Hell, look at Mick Jagger. Ever
seen a less attractive male of the human species? And
Rod Stewart. My grandfather looked better than him on
his frickin death-bed. But he's getting so much ass
Rachel Hunter bores him. He should be strung up by
his gonies for that alone.
So let's review the math. Four horny musicians, three
virtuous groupies (sic). Someone is gonna get good
and pissed somewhere along the line. That someone is
played by veteran B movie badguy, Dennis Burkley, is
his very first role. You would recognize him
instantly. Real big dude, scraggly beard,
scruffy-looking... done about 70 movies and 200
episodes of tv shows. Always plays the heavy... in
more ways than one. Wonder if he knew that the
character he played in his first job would be the
character he'd play in all others.
Because the mayhem starts and ends in the last reel,
the movie spends its time following the three girls
around as they seek work and recreation. They are
played by Connie Strickland as the rebellious rich
girl, Diane Lee Hart as the shy but sexy white-trash
gal (a part she played again in Giant Spider Invasion
and The Pom Pom Girls) and uber-cutie Carol Speed.
Connie had a 3-yr, 6-film career in which she usually
played the classy gal who gave up the goodies. Had
the pleasure of capping her a while back in The
Centerfold Girls. In Bummer she is nekkid a lot.
Seven collages worth:
Diane Lee Hart is also frequently nekkid. She shows
peek-a-boo hooties and bum in the first collage (she.
too, is forced to undress by the band heavy), does a
long topless scene with her chosen band member
(collages 2 and 3) and finishes up with a boobs and
bum thing in collage 4.
- Diane Lee Hart
The third groupie, played by Carol Speed, shows us
nothing. She does wear some interesting tops in a
couple of scenes, and since Carol appears to have
remained clothed throughout her acting career, I
grabbed those frames and stuck them together.
Two other women, playing employees of a strip club,
provided more eye-candy. Heather Collins plays a
topless waitress. For her the term, topless, is a
true oxymoron. She was blessed by nature with a form
that many have wasted good money in hopes of
acquiring. Or as they say in Texas, nice rack. Two
collages worth. This is Heather's only appearance
on-screen. Me thinks that a crime, what with her body
And then there is the ever-popular uncredited stripper
in a serious triple-B dance. Every movie ought to
have an uncredited stripper. Sometimes it seems that
every movie does.
Bummer, then, is the kind of movie I would never
recommend to a person of good taste. IMDb gives it a
2.1, which places it in the company of some truly
reviled films. I think that too harsh. It is silly
but not obnoxious, stupid but not disgusting... and if
you are blessed with a penchant for watching bad
movies, it is a dream come true.
Two more collages are included in this go-around.
They come from two uncredited babes who show up in
every damn Troma DVD, in the bonus materials. Capped
them more than a year ago and just want to get them
off my harddrive. Tried to figure who they were but
came up with nada. If'n you know, kind reader, please
pass along the info to your local Scoopy.
'Caps and comments by CKRoach:
Cold war double feature.
I have a double movie review today. The two movies come as part of a single DVD titled "Classic CIA KGB Movies.
The first movie is titled "The Deadly Recruits". This is a 1986 British made for TV movie directed by Roger Tucker.
The movie stars veteran actor Terrence Stamp as spymaster David Audley. This character would be back for two other TV spy movies ("The Cold War Killers" and "The Alamut Ambush") during 1986. Carmen du Sautoy plays his wife Faith Audley. It is interesting to note that she would also appear in "The Alamut Ambush."
The movie follows the disappearance of two bright students from Oxford. When one of the students turns up dead in a motorcycle crash, Audley gets involved. As the case is methodically dissected it leads to an assassination plot against a visiting foreign dignitary. Audley's group relentlessly follows each lead to the point of even sending his wife (du Sautoy) to track a lead that leads to a dead end with a religious cult.
What is interesting is that this movie is the antithesis of the action spy movie. The movie is a highly cerebral thriller with little action and lots of thinking. There are no high-speed car chases, no fistfights, and (until the pheasant hunt) no firearms. There are lots of mysteries and puzzles for the viewer to try to unravel. There is even some intellectual discussion of Roman military operation by a group of scholars that Audley has infiltrated by his team.
The only down side to this movie is that the DVD transfer was poor. It also lacks any meaningful special features. However on a multi movie DVD that sold for under six dollars at Suncoast, I suppose I can't complain.
The visual highlight of the film is du Sautoy taking a bath. We see her side view from the bathroom door and a frontal view as she scrubs her breasts while talking to her husband. Unfortunately the cameraman wasn't trained to use the correct angle to film a bath scene, we are left barely getting more than an partial nipple.
The movie hasn't yet garnered a rating from the IMDb. If you are a member, or just like intelligent spy flicks, please invest the six bucks and rate this movie.
The second movie on this DVD is titled "Laser Mission".
It stars the late Brandon Lee as "Michael Gold" a low class James Bond wannabe. As his sidekick we have Debi A. Monahan playing the dumb blonde veterinarian "Alissa." Strangely, this B-grade action flick has veteran actor Ernest Borginine reciting a terrible script as the German "Professor Braun." as one of their evil opponents is Graham Clarke as Col Kalishnikov. This pathetic attempt at an action spy flick was directed by BJ Davis whose resume seems to be mainly as a stunt coordinator.
As you have probably already guessed, this movie is awful. Perhaps awful enough to be barely entertaining. The story is of a young mercenary (Gold) sent to an African nation (patterned after Angola) to bring back a laser scientist (Braun) and a stolen diamond. It seems that the Soviets want Braun to use the diamond and a laser to make a nuclear weapon for them (As if the soviets didn't already have enough nuclear weapons) so they have him kidnapped by a safari guide/agent. Early on Gold is captured by the Cubans/Soviets. He is threatened with a trip to the guillotine (which should have been used on the scriptwriter) in the morning if he doesn't cooperate. True to his style Gold steal a razor from a guard, uses it to mow down a bunch more of them, steal a sophisticated weapon and then escape. In the process he mows down another zillion Cubans with a rifle.
He returns to the U.S. Embassy and is reassigned to go back and get the professor. He is told to contact the professor's daughter (who also happens to be a KGB veterinarian) for assistance.
As comic relief (and perhaps the best acting in the movie) there are two Cuban soldiers "Roberta and Manuel." They are played by Maureen Lahoud and Pierre Knoessen. They deliver an amateurish, "Laurel & Hardy" kind of act as they try to catch GOLD for their Russian boss played by Graham Clarke.
Throughout this ridiculous movie Alissa wears a blue party dress with an enormous amount of cleavage. She wears this is one of the dumbest car chases on film and even wears it (along with spike heels) while crossing 400 miles of the Namibian "Skeleton Coast). " This dress must be an invention of Q, because she is able to survive this desert trek without the benefit of water and never gets sunburned either.
The movie has Alissa showing mega-cleavage and always seeming to be ready to finally show her chest. Alas, the one thing, which would redeem this waste of film, we only get close to and never quite see it all. She shows the most when Kalishnikov pulls her dress apart only partially (showing the most skin in the movie) while attempting to torture her. I always assumed the Soviets could accomplish this sort of thing but obviously it doesn't quite happen.
The movie is somewhat saved when Roberta loses her shirt after driving their car off a dock during a car chase. She shows some super pokies beneath her wet undershirt. And draws the ridicules comment from Manuel "Your a woman."
The DVD version as viewed had terrible quality. It almost looked homemade. As with the other movie on the disc, there are no meaningful special features. But for under six dollars, I cant make too much of a fuss.
The IMDb rates this flick at 2.6/10
|As the Comic Book Guy might say, "Best..Wet T-Shirt...Ever". Excellent 'caps by Mr. Nude Celeb of the UK actress looking great soaking wet (and underwater) in scenes from the 1977 movie "The Deep".
||The co-star of the "Buffy" TV series as well as one of our favorite TV shows ever, "The Adventures of Pete & Pete". Here she is showing a ton of cleavage in an ad for her new movie "Eurotrip".
|Señor Skin 'caps of Sims topless in a love scene from an episode of "The Hunger".
|Shameless Plug O' the Day
Regular readers probably recognize the name Pat Reeder as the guy from The Comedy Wire section of the Fun House. In real life...he's also the guy who writes the jokes that your DJ tells every morning during your drive to work.
As we've mentioned in the past, back in the day Pat partnered up with another radio man, George Gimarc, and wrote a very funny book called "Hollywood Hi-Fi". For those who have forgotten our previous praise and ramblings..."Hollywood Hi-Fi" a tribute to all the worst albums every recorded by so-called celebrity singers like Bill Shatner and Crispin Glover.
Here's what the critics have said: The Phoenix Sun named it the "Best Weird Book of the Year," and Cool & Strange Music magazine called it the "Best Hard-To-Find Book of the Year,"
The book has been out of print for several years and is hard to find, but for fans of actors trying to be singers, we have good news....
George Gimarc has as come into a stash of "Hollywood Hi-Fi", direct from the publisher's warehouse! These are NEW, autographed copies that you can pick up for online for $10 (over 30% off the the original price of $14.95!).
Click here to check out excerpts from the book, as well as all the info you need to pick up your own copy!
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
WEDDING COSTS NEAR $30,000
Catering To Peer Pressure - A study of over 1,000 British brides-to-be by
You & Your Wedding magazine found that the cost of an average wedding is up
to 15,764 pounds ($29,830 US). The bride spends $1750 on her gown, plus
$250 for a "going-away" outfit. There are an average of 111 guests at $85
each. Catering costs $4600, the honeymoon costs $5350, and $1450 is spent
on photography. The cost is so high, both sets of parents now commonly
split it, some couple ask for donations rather than gifts. Nearly 7 in 10
brides say the cost and organization of the "happiest day of their lives"
is causing them huge stress.
But it's all downhill from there.
On the bright side, parenthood will make both the stress and the cost
seem like nothing.
It is the happiest day, though, because the credit card bills haven't
The bride spends $250 on a honeymoon outfit, and the groom just wants
LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE FORMED
Pray For Wardrobe Malfunctions - The Super Bowl Halftime Show got all the
press, but the competing Pay-Per-View show "The Lingerie Bowl," featuring
underwear-clad models playing football, did so well, they are organizing a
Lingerie Football League. It will start with four teams -- the Chicago
Passion, Los Angeles Dream, New York Euphoria and Dallas Desire -- from
towns chosen for their rich "football tradition." The producers will soon
hold casting calls for lingerie models in each city to sign to the teams.
The football tradition in these cities is rich, and so are their plastic
Sounds like these towns were chosen for their rich supply of strippers.
I might watch this if Justin Timberlake were the referee.
The Lingerie Bowl is now the wholesome, family alternative to the Super
Bowl Halftime Show.
HARVARD STUDENT PORN MAGAZINE OKAYED
Weapon Of Mass Distraction - Harvard's Commission on College Life voted to
approve a student-run porn magazine called "H-Bomb" that will feature
articles about campus sexual issues and nude photos of Harvard
undergraduates. They approved it after checking out an erotic magazine
called Squirm that's published by Vassar students. To avoid liability
problems, the models must be over 18 and the nude photos can't be taken
inside Harvard buildings.
Are they liable when students get pneumonia from posing nude outdoors in
Boston in February?
And no nude photos of alumni! Nobody wants to see Ted Kennedy naked!
And I used to worry about how bad I looked in school YEARBOOK photos!
The Vassar magazine is called Squirm because Vassar girls look really
FULL PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE DEBUTS
Then She Turns Sideways And Disappears - For those sick of the dark, green,
three-minute excerpt of the Paris Hilton sex video, the full 30-minute
version went on sale on the Internet Wednesday for $50. It includes a full
color, well-lighted scene of Paris in a bra, panties and thigh-high
stiletto boots, manipulating her boyfriend into taking her clubbing when he
wants to stay home and have sex.
But they do have sex...and three minutes later, they go clubbing.
He thought she was dressed for sex, but she was really dressed for
His argument that sex doesn't cost anything has no effect on her.
OSCAR TAPE-DELAY PROTESTED
Cut Out The Word "Bush" - The head of the Motion Picture Academy protested
ABC's decision to put a five-second tape delay on the Oscars in light of
the Super Bowl Halftime backlash. He said it's offensive, since the Oscars
have been broadcast for years without incident. The producer replied that
the delay will only be used to edit out profanity, and that they will deal
with things like see-through dresses by just cutting to a close-up.
Now, THAT'S what we ought to be protesting!
So that's why actresses wear see-through dresses to the Oscars! More
Let's hope to God Barbra Streisand doesn't wear a see-through
dress...We're damned either way.
Someone saying something offensive in an Oscar acceptance speech? Why,
it's unheard of!
WARRANT ISSUED FOR COURTNEY LOVE
Disorder In The Courtney - A Beverly Hills judge issued an arrest warrant
for Courtney Love after she failed to attend a court hearing on drug
possession charges. But he stayed the order until her next hearing on
Tuesday, meaning she'll be arrested if she fails to show up again. Her
lawyer claimed Courtney was "on call" if needed, and she just didn't show
up in court because of "security reasons."
Too much coke makes her feel insecure.
Nobody in the court would feel very secure with Courtney Love in the
So much for people who say Courtney Love can't even get arrested these
DISNEY FACING HOSTILE TAKEOVER
A Mickey Mouse Offer - Wednesday, cable TV giant Comcast launched a
surprise bid to buy the Walt Disney Corporation for over $54 billion, after
Disney refused to enter into merger talks. But one Disney shareholder
said, "I think Disney is worth a lot more money."
Maybe he's thinking of Pixar.
It costs that much just to take the whole family to Disney World.
Comcast is a subsidiary of Scrooge McDuck Enterprises.
It's already having an effect: there's a new ride at Disneyland called
"Corporate Pirates of the Caribbean."