Monday

Back to normal today. (Kinda - that link from Digg is still sending tons of hits ... more than a day after they first placed it.)

 


 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Six Ways to Sunday

Six Ways to Sunday (1997) is a dark crime comedy set in Youngstown, Ohio. Norman Reedus is 18, lives with the most castrating mother ever to be in a film, and works at a fast food restaurant. His childhood friend, who works as an enforcer for for the Jewish Mafia, takes him on a job in a strip joint. Reedus goes postal and beats the crap out of a deadbeat. When he is summoned to meet the boss, he is expecting to be in big trouble, but it turns out that the deadbeat got religion after Reedus visited him, paid off his entire debt, and gave the mob additional cash to make sure Reedus wouldn't come back. Reedus is welcomed into the organization, and assumed an important role after his buddy is arrested in a holdup.

He moves himself and his mother into a house, and becomes a hot man. Seems he has an alter ego that is a ladies man with the capacity for ultra-violence. Then he makes his first mistake, and tries to get fresh with Elina L÷wensohn, the big boss's maid. He is ordered to court her. The rest of the film is about his progression in the mob, and his relationship with Elina L÷wensohn vs. his relationship with his mother.

Debra Harry was incredible as the mother, doing things like giving Reedus his bath, pinching his blackheads, controlling the lamp in his bedroom, and trying to keep him from girls. Norman Reedus owned his own role, and was perfect. Elina L÷wensohn was charming, and I would have liked to see more of her. While there is plenty of humor, there is also explicit violence, so be warned. This could have gone wrong so many ways, but director Adam Bernstein (It's Pat) kept it on track.  This is a C+.

IMDb readers say 5.8.

It did nothing in the box office.

Scoop's note:

Here's what I wrote about the film in 1999:

" ... made the rounds at the festivals, but didn't get much theater play. I think it was introduced at the SXSW festival here in Austin. Typical goofy indy premise. Jewish mobsters in Youngstown, Ohio take a liking to a young "goy" with a mild polite exterior and raging violence beneath the surface. Of course, he's only violent because his dad left his mom and she raised him as if he were still age four. Or something like that.

In the end, he (or the spirit of his dad within him) ends up humping his mom. Although she's all for it, and had been prodding him to do it, she hangs herself when she realizes what she's done. Or maybe he hangs her and blames it on the spirit of his dad. Whatever.

He packs her in a travel case, picks up his girl, slaughters all the mobsters, goes to the bus station and grabs the first Greyhound bus out of Youngstown. He buys three seats - one for him, one for his best girl, and one for his dead mom.

I think you can figure from the summary whether you'd like it or not. "

 

 

 

 

Elina L÷wensohn shows a breast briefly in a very dark sex scene.

 

 

Anna Levine Thomson, as a prostitute, shows breasts, and a very brief full frontal in a mirror. 

 

 

Several unknown strippers show breasts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Fear City

The Time Machine travels back to 1984 for "Fear City' and a totally delicious and sexy young Melanie Griffith showing off some T & A playing a stripper.

 

 

 

 

 

Fargo


Woodchipper black comedy classic from the Coen brothers (1996). Minimum nudity by Larissa Kokernot, Melissa Peterman, and Michelle Hutchison as hookers.

Larissa Kokernot
Melissa Peterman
Michelle Hutchison

 



 

Perpetrators of the Crime

1998. Tori Spelling shows partial boob raping her kidnapper.

Tori Spelling



 

The Last Sect

Skinless erotic horror from 2006, with David Carradine as Van Helsing. Natalie Brown and Deborah Odell show a lot of cleavage in a lesbian vampire sequence.

Natalie Brown
Deborah Odell


 

"Starhunter"

Episode: "Cell Game." One-timer Rebecca Flewelling shows her big guns.

Rebecca Flewelling



 

"U8TV: The Lofters"


Canadian reality series from 2001 - a knockoff of Big Brother. The internet site featured nudity which was censored from the broadcast version. Almost none of these pics are currently available. Featured below is a nipslip of future sportscaster Jennifer Hedger who also had a bit part in Playmakers (possible bodydub shown below).

Jennifer Hedger: Lofters

 Jennifer Hedger: Playmakers



 

"Naked Josh"

Episode: "Looking Good." Tori Hammond shows a lot of cleavage as Josh's tubby girlfriend.
 

Tori Hammond



 

"Night Heat"

Episode: "Wages of Sin." Another trip in the wayback machine. Jennifer Inch and Dinah Christie, sexy as prostitutes in 1986. Billy Van, eat your heart out.

Dinah Christie

 Jennifer Inch

 


Finally, a rare fashion photo of Gabrielle Miller from Corner Gas in a see-through blouse with nothing underneath.

 

 

 

 

 


 

From Nanou, a British drama: Imogen Stubbs
 
And a few of Kim Dawson in Satisfaction, one of Lady Chatterley's Stories
   
From Al di la delle legge, an Italian spaghetti western : Ann Smyrner
and Graziella Granata
   
From Nirvana, an Italian futuristic thriller - possible Matrix forerunner : Stefania Rocca
plus Amanda Sandrelli (Stefania's daughter)
plus Emmanuelle Seigner
and an unknown.
   
From Dixie Lanes, a coming-of-age period drama : Pamela Springsteen (Bruce's sister)
and, Karen Black
   
From The Evil Dead, Sam Raimi's 1st film : Ellen Sandweiss "raped" by demonic trees
and Betsy Baker
   
An unknown from Dominic's Castle, a mostly black-cast piece
   
An unknown from Karate Warriors, a Sonny Chiba film
   
From The Message, a propaganda (?) biography of Muhammed, which was directed by Mustapha Akkad, the "Halloween" executive producer who was recently killed in a bombing, Irene Papas
   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wedding Slashers

Since I capped Wedding Crashers some time ago, it only follows that I'd do 2006's Wedding Slashers. 'Course, this one isn't exactly a comedy, unless you've got a weird sense of humor. It's a horror flick with a fairly unique plot twist, unfortunately diminished by some fairly mediocre acting and scripting.

Jenna is a young woman who dreams of finding the perfect man and living happily ever after. Unfortunately, every man of her dreams meets with tragic accidents before she can get married. Or were they accidents?

This time it looks like the real thing, except that right after the bachelor and bachelorette parties, people once again start to die. Is it happening again? And who is behind the tragedies?

Like I said, not a bad plot, and even better when you find out what's behind the deaths, but execution hurts this film a lot.

Tanith Fiedler

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Ladies of Sci-fi/Fantasy

The Seventh Sign

...Ms. Demi Moore is wearing a "pregnant body" prosthetic so the real reason I did these collages is to promote the film: "The Seventh Sign" is about the signs of the coming apocalypse and is interesting for that, but what makes it clever is that the story includes the Roman centurion who supposedly stabbed Jesus in the side at the crucifixion. According to this plot, the centurion was made immortal as punishment for his act and after nearly 2000 years he is willing to do anything to be able to die...

 

 

 

 

 

"The Hunger"


Episode "ANAIS"

An architect (George Rain) on business in a strange city makes up fantasies about a woman he names Ana´s (Ilona Utriainen). He makes up a rough boyfriend for her and fantasizes about different situations, until one day his fantasies start to become real. There is some great nudity in this episode, Ilona, who plays the main female character Ana´s, shows everything, including her pierced
nipple.
 

Ilona Utriainen

Rebecca Dewey

 

 

 

 

 

 


Lance et Compte

Lance et compte was originally a French-Canadian TV mini-series revolving around a fictional NHL hockey team called Le National in Quebec city. The team, Le National, is a direct calque of the real-life Nordiques, right down to the logo. The series originally aired from 1986-89. Following the end of the regular series, a number of television movies continued to air into the 1990s until the TV series was was resuscitated from 2001-06.

The first season was filmed in both French and English, the English version appearing in CBC as He Shoots, He Scores. ("Lance et compte" is a common hockey expression in Quebecois, approximately equivalent to "He shoots, he scores.") This was the first television series to air simultaneously in English on CBC and in French on Radio-Canada. In addition to its English airing in Canada, the show was adapted as Cogne et gagne in France, where the French version was dubbed into French French!

The show was known for its somewhat  risquÚ love scenes, which brings us to the pictures. These rarities are from the three seasons of the original series back in the eighties.

Season 1

Danielle Godin
France Zobda
Linda Singer
Maria Orsini
Marie Chantal
Sophie Renoir

 

Season 2

France Zobda
Alexandra Lorska

 

Season 3

Lorraine Landry
Macha Grenon
Nadia Paradis

 

 

 

 

 

Images

Here is an animated .gif that shows pretty clearly that Darth Vader was not inside Sienna Miller in Factory Girl. She appears to be rubbing on top of him. On the other hand, that does appear to be Lord Vader's light saber touching her naughty bits, and I guess sex doesn't require penetration, so you could say they were making it.

Anna Nicole Smith in "Her Fantasy."
Sarah Silverman. Not only the funniest women on the planet, but also pretty damned smokin' hot, iff'n ya ask me.
Amanda Seyfried in Alpha Dog
Jeannete Swensson, from Mazurka (we had the film clip a few days ago)

Videos

Today's collection-builder is Bo Derek, part 2 of 2. (Others in yesterday's edition.)

I suppose I have mentioned this many times before, but I spent a long time sitting right next to her on a flight from Miami to Lima.  That must have been around 1995 or 1996 - somewhere in there. I was heading down there to analyze the retail market for Mobil and she was down there for the grand opening of the first Blockbuster. She was traveling with her handler, an older woman, and I was traveling with a colleague, so of course, we didn't say much to one another, but she was incredibly nice, and made me a local hero the next morning.

As it turns out, she and I stayed in the same motel. On the morning after the flight I was in the lobby talking to the local Mobil guys, planning our day, when Bo came up behind me, touched my sleeve gently and said, "Hi, Greg!" with a big smile. Nothing more than that. She just walked off to her assignment.

That was enough. The Mobil guys were astounded and you'd have to say pretty darned impressed, because ... well, every guy in the world knows who Bo is, and she was still a big name in Peru, which is why Blockbuster asked her down there in the first place. I wasn't coy about my relationship with her. I simply told the guys the true story, but you know how guys are. As the week progressed, they kept embellishing the story, and repeating it for every single human being they met, so I earned my Peruvian nickname, "El MarquÚs de los Grifos." That's a double-entendre which probably doesn't work anywhere but Peru. The Peruanos call big, professional-looking gas stations "Grifos" or "Super-Grifos." As far as I know, "grifos" is not used to mean "gas station" anywhere else in the world but Peru. I worked in many other Spanish-speaking countries (Spain, Argentina, Mexico, El Salvador, Chile, and Guatemala, that I can remember) and never heard it elsewhere. But it is also a common Spanish word meaning "spigots" or "nozzles," which is how it came to mean "big gas station" - a place of many nozzles. As you can imagine, "nozzles" also have a certain phallic significance to oil company guys, so my nickname could be interpreted literally as "The Marquis of Gas Stations" or more liberally as "King Dick." That and a five dollar bill might get me a coffee at Starbucks, but it sure inflated my ego for two weeks in Peru!

Thanks, Bo.

Julianne Nicholson in Flannel Pajamas. Lots of pics below

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Pat's comments in yellow...

Drama students at Wando High School of Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, planned to perform the classic play about fighting racial injustice, "To Kill A Mockingbird," when the principal stopped them. Officials said the racists in the play use racially insensitive terms that might offend someone who was walking by the theater and heard them out of context. The decision was finally left to the drama teacher, who has yet to rule on it, after 600 students signed petitions to allow the play to go on with minor content changes.

* The racists will no longer be even the slightest bit racially insensitive!

* The drama teacher picked another play instead: "Huckleberry Finn"...Only in this version, Jim isn't a slave running away down the river, he's just gone on a Carnival Cruise.

 

The York Psychic Museum in England has closed. It was opened in 2004 by astrologer Jonathan Cainer, who thought it would attract 100 people a day, but it only brought in about 100 a week. He hopes to reopen in 2008, but he said, "If you are asking me for predictions when exactly it will open up again, then it is hard to say. Although I'm in the prediction business, I don't believe you can make predictions about things you are close to."

* Or things you are far away from...

* Okay, then get another astrologer to tell you when it will reopen.