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Tuesday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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| Tuna
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"Mummy Raider"
Mummy Raider (2001 video) is the latest offering from Seduction Cinema. It has about 5 minutes of plot, and the rest of the film is devoted to very soft-core lesbian sex, with a background track that is worse than disco. Musty Mondae, as the title character, is charming, attractive, and has an appealing naivete. The costars, Esmerelda DellaRocco, and Darian Caine are more the typical B bimbo types. Misty comes to rescue Caine from the evil Nazi DellaRocco, and then the two of them seduce DellaRocco. The end.
All three women show a lot of breasts, and some buns and bush. This is simply attractive women fondling each other in rather unimaginative ways, and with no passion. If it is meant as a soft-core, it falls way short. No heat, no story, and no action The production values are ok for what looks like hi definition video. D.
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Darian Caine
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Esmirelda De Larocca
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Misty Mondae
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"Love Come Down"
Love Come Down (2000) is the gripping tale of two brothers in their early 20s, one black, one white, each the other's keeper since their family was torn apart by a decade old tragedy. Neville, played by Larenz Tate, is a comedian struggling with his comedy, and his brother, Matthew, played by Martin Cummins, is a boxer consumed with the pleasure and pain of his skin. Neville becomes enchanted with Niko (Deborah Cox), a beguiling young singer who becomes entangled with him on his journey of self-discovery. With the support of their long-time friend Julian (Rainbow Sun Francks), and Sister Sarah (Sarah Polley), a nun with a past, Neville and Matthew come to understand love in all its forms.
Summary written by Conquering Lion Productions/FilmWorks
IMDB chose to use the plot summary written by the production company, probably because it is so well done. I included it for the same reason. This is a unique film in many ways. First, the narrative structure is not linear, but jumps freely from distant past, to present, to near past. I sometimes had trouble figuring out near past vs. present, but not for long, and that might have been intentional. So the distant past portion explains the relationship between Neville and Mathew, and the dark family secret they share. The present has Neville trying to stay clean after rehab, and break into comedy. The near past shows the relationship dynamic between Neville and his brother, and Neville and his lady Niko.
Niko also has a past. If character development is your thing, this is "the film." By the time it is over, you know exactly who everyone is, and why, and once more, you care about them. It was also interesting to me that the entire cast was portrayed as people, rather than as white, black, and children of mixed marriages. The only exposure was provided by Naomi Gaskin as Matthew's girlfriend, who shows a magnificent pair of breasts.
IMDB readers say 7.8 of 10, but with only a few votes. Even if you don't like character driven drama, you might well enjoy this one. By the time it is over, you will be charmed by the romance, warmed by some of the relationships, and surprised at the ending. B.
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Naomi Gaskin
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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LEGAL STUFF:
I received a "cease and desist" order today from Christina Aguilera's lawyer
regarding that alleged home video. I wrote the lawyer's office back to inform
them that there was nothing to cease or desist, because (as you know) we never
ran any of those pictures or videos in the first place, nor even any links to
sites that did! I suppose the lawyer was just sending a form letter out to all
celebrity sites, or something like that.
Briefly, if you missed it, the story is this. Right after the first of the
year, Pat Reeder told us that imdb.com was reporting a rumor of some home
footage. I checked the rumor out, and found it to be groundless. A website
claimed to have some footage. This was one of those websites that claims to
have footage of Claudia Schiffer and Mariah Carey performing explicit sexual
acts, so I was incredulous from the beginning, but I did view the clips, and
the footage did nothing to dispel my doubts. It was some tiny images of a blond
woman, seen from behind. It could have been almost any other woman, but it
could NOT have been Aguilera. The woman was too full-figured to be the slim
star. But even if the basic physical appearance had matched, we would not have
believed it, because the woman was simply not identifiable. We printed no
pictures, and we did not link to any pictures or videos related to this
incident. Frankly, the story had no merit at all, and I just ignored it.
In fact, we didn't mention it further until the January 9th edition, when
Pat reported that ananova.com printed the following story
Christina Aguilera porn video is a hoax, singer insists.
(from Ananova.com)
Christina Aguilera says she does not feature in a sexually
explicit video posted on the internet. She says the video posted on pornographic
websites is a hoax. Aguilera's lawyers are threatening to take legal action
against sites hosting the video footage. Her representatives have issued a
statement on her official website,
www.christina-a.com.
It says: "It has recently come to our attention that certain pornographic
websites are posting sexually explicit photographs and video footage on the
internet fraudulently representing that it is Christina. The video clips
advertised on the websites are of a woman with blonde hair shown only from the
back - the person in the video is not Christina. In addition, the person who
claims to have taken the video is not, and has never been, associated with
Christina or her management. Christina's legal representatives have contacted
the website hosts, and
Christina plans to vigorously pursue all necessary action against the
individuals responsible, including, if necessary, initiating criminal
proceedings. We regret that there are individuals who engage in such fraud with
no regard for the injury to Christina's feelings or reputation."
We are in complete agreement with their position. There is absolutely no
evidence to suggest that such a video exists, and the video I saw, which
purported to be Ms. Aguilera, was clearly not. End of story.
If you are interested in internet hoaxes of all types, here is an
interesting guide to "lies, damned
lies, and the internet". It has both on-site information and useful links
about investment scams, hoaxes, fraudulent charities, urban legends, medical
misinformation, and other sins the ether is heir to.
MOVIES:
Three movies - not very good ones, but with some good images.
For Sale is a French Film which was entered at
Cannes, and which merited a Best Actress nomination for Sandrine Kiberlain at
the Cesar awards in 1999. A young woman never shows up for her wedding to a
middle aged rich man. The middle aged guy hires a detective to find out what is
going on, and to bring her back if possible. As the detective learns everything
there is to know about the woman, he comes to love her, without ever having met
her. Sometimes excellent, but usually arty, pretentious, and meandering.
Susan's Plan is the recent film from John
Landis (Animal House, Blues Brothers), an alleged comedy starring those two
comic geniuses, Billy Zane and Nastassja Kinski. John seems to have forgotten
the two basic ingredients of a good John Landis comedy, which would be (1) John
Belushi (2) laughter. Worse than that, he broke the cardinal rule of filmmaking
- he hired Billy Zane to appear in a movie without any sinking ships.
- Lara Flynn Boyle
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2,
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5)
- Kinski - this was the best I could do with this image, which was photographed in virtual darkness.
The Good Wife is an Aussie movie from 1987 with
Rachel Ward, Bryan Brown. and Sam Neill. This may be most boring and slowest
paced movie in history, and I wasn't able to recognize human behavior
characteristics in any of the characters. And Rachel Ward kept her clothes on.
The following are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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| Oz
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"Maybe Baby"
Joely Richardson is trying to have a baby in the enjoyable British movie Maybe Baby. There's lots of underwear, pokies and near misses in the collages. There is the briefest of nip slip in the fourth
collage.
- Joely Richardson
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"El Grito en el Cielo"
There's some topless nudity by Maria Conchita Alonso in the Spanish movie El Grito en el Cielo aka Shout Out.
- Maria Conchita Alonso
(1,
2)
"The Prophets Game"
A bit of nudity in The Prophets Game by a stripper called Zoe. Surprisingly, Shannon Whirry keeps most of her clothes on and all we get is a good dose of cleavage.
"John and Mary"
Mia Farrow is the Mary in the 1969 movie John and Mary. Some nice views of her backside. There is also some topless nudity by a model who was being used as a projection screen at a swingers party.
"Love Lies Bleeding"
Love Lies Bleeding is the story of a serial killer in 19th century England. Most nudity comes from an unnamed prostitute who must have been one of the first to have plastic boobs. Brief flashes of nudity
by Emily Raymond and Vashti Hughes, although it's hard to see.
"Your Friends and Neighbours"
Some of these caps from Your Friends and Neighbours have appeared before. Frontal nudity by Amy Brenneman but it is too dark. Some nice pokies by Catherine Keener.
"Homeboy"
In Homeboy the nudity comes from an unnamed topless barmaid. Gianna Rains and Jeanne Daly are a couple of good-time girls who provide some nice pictures.
"Critical Care"
Kyra Sedgwick stars in Critical Care. Once again no nudity just nice caps.
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| Variety
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Nina Keita
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Katherine
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Two very lovely models posing fully nude in Black and White magazine, by Blacksheep. Both ladies' breasts are clearly visible in every image. There are a few partial rear views, plus the remaining member of the B Trio also make a limited appearance (links #3 and #5 for Nina, links #2 and #3 for Katherine)
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Carmen Electra
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Carmen on the cover and doing a spread for Loaded magazine. Great thong views in links #3 and #4, and of course cleavage everywhere. Thanks to nmd.
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Kari Traa
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The Norwegian Olympic Gold Medalist. #1 has see-thru pubes. In #4 the only thing covering her up below the equator is her hand.
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| Claudia Karvan |
The Aussie actress going full frontal in "Touch Me" (1993). Look for her in the upcoming "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (clothed of course, and possibly disguised as a cute and furry muppet that can be sold for 3.95 each at Lucas R Us)
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| Connie Nielsen |
A great topless image from "The Devil's Advocate"
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| Katherine Lang |
Excellent hong views and toplessness in scenes from "Soul Assassin". Thanks to Freakie.
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| Gwyneth Paltrow |
One more from Freakie. Bootleg 'caps of a serious "upskirt" view from "Shallow Hal". Not to worry...it's an upskirt of the thin Gwyneth, not the fat suit Gwyneth.
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| Kimberley Kates |
A huge collage by Scanman (about 470k!) of Kates' very clear full frontal nude scene from the grade Z flick, "Armstrong".
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| Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
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>From E! Online...
Razzies Get "Fingered"
by Mark Armstrong
Feb 11, 2002, 10:10 AM PT
Freddy didn't just get fingered--he got trashed by critics, shunned by
moviegoers, and now, razzed by the foremost authority on all things that
suck on the big screen.
Freddy Got Fingered, Tom Green's gross-out directorial debut (which
featured references to sexually molested children, disabled nurses and
various animal genitalia) picked up a field-best eight nominations Monday
for the 22nd Annual Razzie Awards, which single out the most gawdawful
movies of the year.
All told, Freddy gave Green nominations for Worst Actor, Worst Director,
Worst Screenplay and Worst On-Screen Couple ("Tom Green and any animal he
abuses").
Green's "film" will compete for Worst Picture dis-honors against Mariah
Carey's breakdown-inducing Glitter, Sylvester Stallone's race-car lemon
Driven, Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell's ultra-violent Elvis caper 3000
Miles to Graceland and the not-quite-epic war flick Pearl Harbor.
Carey seems a shoo-in for the Worst Actress category, as her big-screen
debut in Glitter was probably the most-publicized clunker of the year. But
she can take heart that she only appeared in one movie--After all, Penélope
Cruz picked up a nomination for her performances in three films (Blow,
Captain Corelli's Mandolin and Vanilla Sky), while Jennifer Lopez and
Angelina Jolie were nominated for their roles in two movies (J.Lo's Angel
Eyes and The Wedding Planner, and Jolie's Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and
Original Sin).
Charlize Theron also picked up a nomination for her work opposite Worst
Actor nominee Keanu Reeves in Sweet November. Reeves, Green and Costner
will face off for Worst Actor against Ben Affleck for his role as a heroic
flyboy in Pearl Harbor. John Travolta, meanwhile, can't seem to get a
break: After tying a Razzie record last year with his ode to L. Ron
Hubbard, Battlefield Earth, the actor scored another nomination for Worst
Actor for both Domestic Disturbance and Swordfish.
Aside from Freddy's big haul, Driven followed with seven nominations
Monday, including Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor (Stallone and Burt
Reynolds) and Worst Screen Couple (Stallone and Reynolds). Glitter and
Pearl Harbor tied for six nominations apiece.
The Razzies, handed out by John Wilson's Golden Raspberry Foundation, are
not seen as an Oscar prognosticator at all. Actors nominated have a
snowball's chance in hell of getting any award from the Motion Picture
Academy this year. Unless, of course, someone has been smoking crack.
Per tradition, the Razzie winners are announced one day before that other
awards show. The handmade, gold-spray-painted raspberry trophies (estimated
street value: $4.29) will be handed out March 23.
Here's a rundown of the nominees:
Worst Picture: Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, Glitter, Pearl Harbor, 3000
Miles to Graceland
Worst Actor: Ben Affleck (Pearl Harbor), Kevin Costner (3000 Miles to
Graceland), Tom Green (Freddy Got Fingered), Keanu Reeves (Hardball, Sweet
November), John Travolta (Domestic Disturbance, Swordfish)
Worst Actress: Mariah Carey (Glitter), Penelopé Cruz (Blow, Captain
Corelli's Mandolin, Vanilla Sky), Angelina Jolie (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider,
Original Sin), Jennifer Lopez (Angel Eyes, The Wedding Planner), Charlize
Theron (Sweet November)
Worst Screen Couple: Ben Affleck and either Kate Beckinsale or Josh
Hartnett (Pearl Harbor), Mariah Carey's cleavage (Glitter), Tom Green and
any animal he abuses (Freddy Got Fingered), Burt Reynolds and Sylvester
Stallone (Driven), Kurt Russell and either Kevin Costner or Courteney Cox
Arquette (3000 Miles to Graceland)
Worst Supporting Actor: Max Beesley (Glitter), Charlton Heston (Cats &
Dogs, Planet of the Apes), Burt Reynolds (Driven), Sylvester Stallone
(Driven), Rip Torn (Freddy Got Fingered)
Worst Supporting Actress: Drew Barrymore (Freddy Got Fingered), Courteney
Cox Arquette (3000 Miles to Graceland), Julie Hagerty (Freddy Got
Fingered), Goldie Hawn (Town & Country), Estella Warren (Driven, Planet of
the Apes)
Worst Remake or Sequel: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Jurassic Park III,
Pearl Harbor, Planet of the Apes, Sweet November
Worst Director: Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor) Peter Chelsom with Warren Beatty
(Town & Country), Tom Green (Freddy Got Fingered), Vondie Curtis Hall
(Glitter), Renny Harlin (Driven)
Worst Screenplay: Driven, Freddy Got Fingered, Glitter, Pearl Harbor, 3000
Miles to Graceland
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