Here is the condensed .wmv version of the monstrous DeadRed .avi of
Rosario Dawson in Alexander. This was voted the #6 sex scene in 2004.
If the rankings were based solely on my opinion rather than voting, it
would have been #2 behind Eva Green in The Dreamers. It's a great
nude/sex scene, although it's somewhat spoiled by some corny music,
even cornier dialogue, and hammy performing.
There's no real dialogue in this condensed version, but if you want
the whole 40 meg ball of wax,
here's a RapidShare link
(they are .avi files with a DIVX codec, and they have been
compressed into .rar files, so you need to know what do do with that
kind of package.)
All Things Fair (1995):
(This is a Swedish
language film. The original title is "Lust och fägring stor," which
translates literally approximately as "Pleasure and great beauty.")
One of the great
experiences offered by film is transportation to another time and
place otherwise unknowable. I suppose what I mean is "emotionally
unknowable." It's possible to read an accurate historical account
about what Sweden was like during WW2, but a film allows us to
actually live in the time for a moment, and to store that time in a
special place in our brains where we house manufactured memories.
These memories become as much a part of us as our real ones, because
they go directly to our subconscious and fill us with knowledge that
we aren't even aware of. Did women wear stockings then? Heels? Did
people get filthy from coal-generated heat? Did unmarried couples use
condoms? Were children educated about sex in schools? Was there a
sense that the people in Stockholm were different from the rest of the
Swedes? Did people support Sweden's neutrality? Was there a
constant state of fear that the Germans might violate that neutrality
when Sweden stopped being Germany's bitch in 1943? Were people worried
that the Allied armies might choose a Scandinavian route to attack
Germany, thus raising the possibility of warfare on Swedish soil? The answers to all of these
questions have now been buried somewhere inside my head.
question then becomes, "Can I trust these memories, or not?" As I
age, I become less trustful of film-implanted memories because I see
more and more films about places and times I lived through and I
realize that they may have the facts right and the artifacts
authentic, but have presented the whole zeitgeist wrong, or have
gotten all the wrong items in focus. I then start to think, "If the
films about the seventies are so misleading, then I probably shouldn't
trust the films about the forties either." In the case of
this film, however, I'm willing to take a leap of faith. Bo Widerberg, one of the greatest of all the Swedish directors, was 15
living in Malmö when the war ended. He
wrote and directed this film about a fifteen year old living in Malmö
toward the end of the war. It is a work of fiction, so I do not
believe that all the episodes in the film actually happened to him,
but I do believe that they all resonate truthfully, that the
conversations in this film could have happened, and that the
characters are drawn from real people.
I suppose you'd
like to know what else the film is besides a history lesson about
Swedish high school kids in WW2. Well, imagine if Ingmar Bergman had
directed My Tutor, and you'll get the idea. Start with a sexually
inexperienced and generally misinformed 15 year old
boy falling into an affair with his thirty-something teacher. Now if
Bergman had directed My Tutor, what would have been different? First,
the teacher and her husband would be living lives of quiet desperation
and excessive alcohol consumption. The teacher, using the student as
her refuge from an unfulfilled marriage, would unrealistically cling
to the idea that the extra-marital bliss could
continue unabated. The student, after gaining sexual confidence, would
want to move on to love, and would look for someone his own age. The
teacher, jilted for a mere girl, would take revenge by failing the
student in class. The student would then be forced into his own forms
of revenge, like telling all to the cuckolded husband and destroying the
teacher's most prized possessions.
things are fair in love.
Throw in a
sub-plot in which the student's beloved older brother is killed in a
wartime submarine tragedy.
Because all things are fair in
have all the ingredients for a wacky, sexy coming-of-age story,
To be honest, my description is unfair. Like those hack films
about the seventies that I talked about above, I have presented all
the facts right, but I simply have assembled them in a way that
misrepresents the essence of the movie. All Things Fair is not
weighted down with tragedy, although tragedy there is. The characters
are not overwhelmingly mean or vengeful, although they have moments of
both. The script does not leave all of its characters bereft of hope
and joy, nor is it weighted down with stoop-shouldered sadness as
many Scandinavian films are. It is simply a slice of real life in that
time and place, and it incorporates unhappy moments with
others which are pleasant, sweet, and entertaining. It is simply a
realistic depiction of the way adolescents first learn about the
plusses and minuses of adult life. It's a coming of age story that
actually recreates all the facets of what it feels like to come of
age. It's sort of the Swedish equivalent of The Summer of '42.
And it is a
good film, having been nominated for the Oscar for Best Foreign
Language Film, and scoring above 7.0 at IMDb. It's not widely known,
but I think most people will enjoy it if they are in the mood for a
The film represented a bittersweet finish to the
directorial career of Bo Widerberg, whose films were not widely seen
internationally, but who was considered one of Europe's master
craftsmen in the period 1963-76. He had once gained a degree of renown in the United
States for his exquisitely filmed 1967 work, Elvira
Madigan, but by the time All Things Fair was released, nearly three
decades later, his name was all but unknown in the States. The success of
All Things Fair should have been his victory parade. After all, he had
made a major comeback by writing and directing an autobiographical
Oscar-nominated film starring his own son in the character based on
himself. That's close to the top of the world for a film auteur.
Sadly, his joy was to be short-lived. In a somber epilogue, Widerberg died of cancer before
he could make another film.
the way the story would have ended in a Swedish movie.
Marika Lagerkrantz looks like a DNA splice between Helen Slater and
Charlotte Rampling, with a touch of Linda Hamilton as well.
Here's a film clip of her frontal scene
... and here are the caps:
Marika was a star in Sweden before and after this film, but her
only other nudity that I know of was in I Wonder Who's Kissing You
Now, as seen here in captures from Herr Haut.
Karen Huldt looks like Mariel Hemingway in Manhattan. According
to IMDb she disappeared for nearly a decade after making this film,
but recently re-emerged with a small role in a Swedish TV series.
Here are her caps:
Colbert reports on the Olympics
Stephen Colbert's Laws of Love for Valentine's Day
The Daily Show's Jason Jones asks how one can make a moral
judgment over someone making a moral judgment for women
The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl's in Turin, wearing a
shroud that's apparently typical of the region.
The Daily Show: Blame That Toon
- One Islamic nation takes the lemons of the cartoon
controversy and makes sour, sour lemonade. Iran is going
to hold a contest for the best Holocaust cartoon.
Forecast is: it's the warmest for 1200 years
- "at no time since the 9th century have temperatures
been so consistently high."
- "... 1990s was likely to have been the warmest
decade for 1000 years."
Pictures from Dannii Minogue's Lesbian Lapdance
Top 10 Career Advantages of ADD
- I don't really know if this is a good link. I only
got through the first one.
Millions Of Americans Succumbing To Sudden Elder Death
"X3 is utterly doomed"
Lesbian Rumors for Salma Hayek, Penelope Cruz Heat Up
"Claim: A pair of hoaxsters once led hundreds of gullible
New Yorkers into participating in a scheme to saw
Manhattan Island in half. Status: False."
- In what may have been the true origin of
postmodernism, the hoax was a hoax
Jon Stewart conducts an amusing interview with Harrison
"The new Lefortovo tunnel just completed in Moscow, Russia
tends to be a very dangerous place to drive. Check out the
security footage of some crazy accidents that have
occurred in the tunnel."
David Hasselhoff loves Pepsi, and wants to express his
Willie Nelson Introduces BioWillie Alternative Fuel
Did you know?
Vietnamese people can't distinguish the banana from the
- "The attempt to register www.buoi.com.vn was turned
down because without proper Vietnamese tone and vowel
markings the word 'buoi' (grapefruit) might be confused
with 'buoi' (penis)"
The trailers for She's The Man, a campus comedy (very)
loosely based on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night
Pictures from the Lingerie Bowl
The Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes
Robots replace humans as camel jockeys
Google Answers: How to contact celebrities
Doggie Howser: can dogs smell cancer?
A chronological list of every Playmate to grace the 50+
years of the Hefmag.
URL says it all:
Sketch Swap: Draw 1, Get 1
Maurice Clarett indicted on robbery. weapons charges
"Jessica Alba appears on the cover of Playboy next month,
but does she get naked? No. Of course not."
"So much is going on in The Pink Panther -- bicyclists
collide, old people blow up, furniture smashes and
crashes. Also, there's loud farting. It's pretty well
everything a 10-year-old wants in a movie."
"Atheist Cartoons Fail to Incite Violence "
Vintage "Farrah's Glamour Center"
"After being charged and released, burglar steals police
car from station"
The History of the Gatorade Dump (Funny video from
URL says it all:
The Society for the Study of Lost (That's right, all
they do is obsess about this mysterious and addictive TV
Latino Review already has a script review of Casino Royale
(They loved it).
Almost 1,000 Danish websites have been defaced by Islamic
hackers protesting the controversial cartoons
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
"Satanico Pandemonium (la sexorcista)"
Satanico Pandemonium (la sexorcista) (1975) is a Mexican nunsploitation film starring Cecilia Pezet. It contains a good deal of controversial material, including a self-flagillation scene, a lesbian encounter, torture, and grisly murders. The by line, "From Bride of Christ to Slave of Satan," summarizes the plot.
Cecilia Pezet is topless in much of the film, and shows bush and buns in a well lit scene. Several other women are partially or completely nude in a party scene near the end.
Evidently, nuns are considered erotic in some cultures, as I have run into that claim from both Italian and Latin film makers. I never found them so. Sister Michael Marie, AKA Big Mike, was the only reasonably young nun I ever met, and lust was not one of the feelings she evoked in me. Be that as it may, nunsploitation allows the use of serious taboos and a lot of symbols and imagery lacking in the WIP genre, although they are otherwise similar as groups of confined women who must look elsewhere for sexual gratification. This film made quite effective use of these symbols, including Satan as a serpent, a black cat and an owl, an apple symbolizing temptation, and many religious icons. The film makers committed what, for me, is a very serious crime with the ending.
Complete Spoilers Warning
The plot, essentially, is that the most pious of the nuns is tempted by Satan, succumbs, tries to seduce a young shepherd and another nun, kills several, and finally makes a pact with the devil in exchange for the job of jefe (Mother Superior). The nuns then throw a drunken party, where she sees the results of her leadership. At the end of the party, she is stabbed to death. I have no quarrel up to this point. Then we cut to real life, where we learn that nothing we have just seen really happened. These were simply temptations of Satan inflicted on her while in a coma dying of the plague. I absolutely despise endings that essentially say, ha ha, fooled you. Nothing you just wasted 90 minutes on actually happened.
It is easy to understand their motives for the ending, especially given that it was made in Mexico in 1975. The nudity and simulated sex would have bothered the church, but the notion that the most pious of the nuns could be easily and completely co-opted by Satan would have caused a furor. However, it would be in keeping with the church viewpoint that Satan would sorely tempt her on her death bed, and virtue would triumph.
IMDb readers say 6.2 but based on only 47 votes. There are no major reviews listed at IMDb. The film was beautifully photographed, and the mondo MACABRO DVD release is pristine. Most of the plentiful nudity is in clear light, and special features include two shorts, and cover art. The film itself was visually stunning, but lacked pace, and managed an ending as odious to me as the evil dwarf, evil identical twin and split personality. The use of symbols and religious icons was very good. Those who, like me, enjoy nunsploitation will find it a worthwhile watch, no mater how you feel about the ending. This is a C+.
First up, from "Serenity", the big screen 'continuing story' of the excellent, but short lived Sci-Fi series "Firefly". Summer Glau shows off a little cleavage.
In keeping with the TV-to-Big Screen theme, Mr. NC takes a look at "The Dukes of Hazzard". Good gravy! Was Jessica Simpon in shape for this flick or what! Here we see her mostly in a bikini from both the film and the video of her "Boots are made for walking" cover.
Mr. Nude Celeb was also kind enough to serve up some nudity in the guise of Nikki Griffin, Jacqui Maxwell and some unknown babes.
||Nikki Griffin and Jacqui Maxwell
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL JACKSON FLIES COACH
Let's Hope He Doesn't Lose Face - Fox News' Roger Friedman reports that
Michael Jackson is facing foreclosure on a $270 million loan in 11 days, and his
Bahrain royal family supporters have cut him off and told him to leave. He's
reportedly so broke, he recently had to fly to Germany, and then on to Italy, on
a commercial flight in coach.
* Worse, he had to borrow the money from Tito.
* Actually, Michael flew free because he could fit into the overhead
* On the bright side, he was the only passenger who didn't mind being stuck
between two children.
* He can't even afford food...Luckily, he hasn't eaten since 1984 anyway.
* He's going to Italy to become a priest: he can live in poverty and still
have a flock of choirboys.
JESUS PANCAKE FOR SALE
Syrup On The Mount - Mike Thompson of Beachwood, Ohio, said he was making
pancakes for his family when he noticed the image of the face of Jesus in the
burned marks on one pancake. Believing it to be a sign from God, he naturally
put it up for sale on eBay. He said the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich
brought $28,000, so he assigned a starting bid price of $500 for the Jesus
pancake, adding, "It's a pretty good deal." At last check, nobody had bid.
* If someone pays $500 for that, then it will truly be a miracle.
* It would be ironic if the only hotcake that doesn't sell like hotcakes is
the Jesus hotcake.
* It even performed a miracle: he poured low-cal syrup on it, and it turned
into the real thing!