"Love the Hard Way"
Love the Hard Way (2001) is a German romantic comedy/crime film shot in English in New York. Charlotte Ayanna is a brilliant honor student in Chemistry. Adrien Brody is a petty hustler who lives for the moment, but has a secret sensitive side, which he expresses writing, when nobody can see him. He meets her working in a theater lobby and is impressed. When he sees her again on campus where he has been to collect from a deadbeat who uses him as a bookie, he talks her into a date. She has always been focused and reserved, and his wildness appeals to her.
His main gig involves suckering wealthy out of town businessmen into a hotel room with two of his accomplices, then, with another, they break in dressed as cops, and extort money from the men and "arrest" the girls. The other member of the group is a desk clerk at the hotel. He uses his profits to buy rare books. Police detective Pam Grier is hot on their tails. When the girls are busted, they have to change hotels. Ayanna is madly in love with him by then, and he won't admit to his feelings for her, treating her like dirt.
Will she go over to the dark side? Will Pam Grier nail him? How will it all play out? Ayanna shows breasts in several sex scenes. IMDb readers have this at 6.0 of 10. I didn't much like either character, and the editing was the worst I have seen in some time. The film is full of jarring jump cuts, and the sex scenes are intercut time slices of before. during and after that rob any possibility of heat being generated. It won some European awards for acting and directing. I didn't hit fast forward, but was very glad when it finished. This is a low C, many clearly enjoy it more than I did.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
If you are
thinking of buying DVDs from outside your region read this
American Crime (2004):
What a surprise! I don't think I've enjoyed a serial murder mystery
in years. You know the drill. The omniscient baddie is coming for
all or one of us, and we don't know who he is. That whole wacky I
Still Know What You Did Last Summer thing. I usually hate those. But
I liked this one, even though it was a humble straight-to-vid.
American Crime is a complicated, multi-layered, multiple
When a topless dancer's corpse is found by some
fishermen, they hope to earn a reward by calling a local TV station
instead of the police. As the plot thickens, the producer (Anabella
Sciorra), the ambitious female reporter (Rachel Leigh Cook), and a
techie intern (Kip Pardue) realize that maintaining an exclusive on
the case presents their lifetime career opportunity, so they
continue to keep the police in the dark while they uncover a chain
of clues. The dead woman's belongings include a video tape of her,
and the footage was apparently filmed without her knowledge by a
stalker. That might not be so suspicious except that another women
is also shown on the tape and that woman is also dead, murdered some
time earlier. The investigators conclude that the stalker's m.o. is
to tape "stalker footage" of a prospective victim before killing
her, followed by sending the tape to his next prospective victim,
along with similar "stalker footage" of herself.
The case gets far more complicated when the next tape
seems to identify the female reporter as the next victim. She
decides to get the hell out of town and moves several hundred miles
away. This turn of events finally does get some national attention,
so their small town is visited by a British reporter (an almost
unrecognizable Cary Elwes) from a big syndicated U.K. show called
"American Crime". The "American Crime" reporter joins the local
producer and her intern in the complicated investigation, but he
seems to be such a complete putz in every way, so hilariously
incompetent that one might reasonably doubt whether he is a reporter
As the film progresses, their paranoia runs high and
each of the investigators realizes that any of the others might
actually be the murderer. This situation was managed very
effectively so that the writers and director didn't have to provide
the customary clumsy "red herrings", but allowed the suspicion to
shift back and forth naturally, as each of the primary characters
interpreted signs and clues rationally, yet with their reason
shrouded sufficiently by the veil of their own paranoia so that
anyone could have been seen as a potential murderer.
You won't have to worry about my spoiling the mystery
for you, because I still don't know for sure who the killer is. The
film has an ending which shows one person confessing to the crime,
then arguing that the confession was extracted under duress,
followed by a final incident which seems to prove that the confessed
murderer could not have done the crimes.
American Crime was shot entirely on digital video in
a widescreen aspect ratio, and was edited with the
slick professionalism of a TV show intro, as befitting the fact that
it is at times a TV show within a TV show within a film. ("American
Crime" is shown covering the local investigation as a news story it
itself, and the local broadcasts are also shown at times.) Some of
the direction is gimmicky, bordering on surreal and symbolic,
sometimes even crossing those borders. Furthermore, some of the
footage is deliberately obfuscated by the director's technique,
since it involves, in the most radical case, a guy filming a TV
which is playing a tape of a women watching another tape of herself
on her own TV.
If you were to argue that the whole project sounds a
bit "over directed", you might have a fair point, but I would
respectfully disagree. I would normally be uncomfortable with how
the macabre humor and the surrealism destroy the "fourth wall" in a
serious murder investigation, and I would normally carp about all
the layers of films within films until the entire project seems like a nested
Russian puzzle, but
in this case I think the entire presentation worked very
effectively. It is slick, engaging, creepy, and mysterious. I really
enjoyed the nebulous ending as an alternative to the usual spoon-fed
contrived answer. In fact, I was so involved in the puzzle that I watched most of
the film a second time to see if I could be certain of the identity
of the killer or killers. I think I know, but I'm not certain, and
that ambiguity really provided a sense of involvement that I used to
get from the best works from Hitchcock and Serling.
Although American Crime went straight to video, it
was a helluva lot more interesting and proficient piece of genre
filmmaking than most of the theatrical releases I saw in the past
year. This is the most original reworking of the overdone serial
murderer formula in a long time, and the director, Dan Mintz, showed
a real knack for combining macabre imagination with highly
proficient editing to package the creepy thrills. My hat is also off
to the proficient editor, Todd Miller, and to the creator of the
opening credits, if that was someone other than the director or
editor. Those credits are a delightful blend of technology and
I almost didn't look at this film because I've been
busy and it was one of this week's minor releases, but I'm glad I
did. I radically underestimated it. It grabbed my attention right
from the "git-go", and never let up. I ended up enjoying it!
No flesh from Anabella Sciorra or Rachel Leigh Cook, but:
- There is good exposure from Julie Cialini,
who shows her breasts and thonged bum as the topless dancer.
Julie was Hef's 1995 Playmate of the Year. (1,
- There is minimal exposure from Amy Arce.
She shows her breasts, but only in a video-within-the-film,
and only after she is lying lifeless.
- I don't know what Anabella Sciorra showed. Maybe nothing.
Maybe some nipple or areola. Here it is, anyway.
Just for fun: Bobby Jo
and the Outlaw (1976)
I suppose the best thing about this zipped .wmv clip is Lynda
"Wonder Woman" Carter without her superhero underoos, but there are
so many other pleasures:
the peyote-induced dialogue
the performance of preacher-turned-actor Marjoe Gortner, who was
inexplicably overlooked at Oscar time.
Marjoe's big claim to fame was that he married somebody when he was
four years old. No, he wasn't the groom. He was the preacher! Marjoe
also had a singing career in the early 70s. You'd think that Bobby
Jo and the Outlaw, which is rated below 4 at IMDb, would be the
nadir of anyone's career, but for Marjoe it was one of his shining
moments. He made six worse movies! I'm not sure what he's doing now,
but whatever it is, you can bet he sucks at it.
Here is the trailer for the soon-to-be immortal cinema classic,
Tom Yung Goong. "A young Thai fighter named Kham must
go to Australia to retrieve his stolen elephant. With the help of
a Thai-born Australian detective, Kham must take on all comers,
including a gang led by an evil woman and her two deadly
Here's the trailer for Up and Down
- "In the dead of the night, near the Czech-Slovak border, two
smugglers discover their truckload of illegal Indian immigrants
have left a baby behind. In a small Prague apartment, Franta and
Mila dream of having a child, but Franta - on probation because
of his soccer hooliganism past - is not allowed to adopt, and
Mila is unable to conceive. After cashing in on her savings,
Mila decides to buy a baby.
Here's a new international trailer for The Interpreter,
an action thriller with those two hard-chargin' action stars,
Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn
The full trailer from The Longest Yard, the remake of a
classic Burt Reynolds movie, starring Adam Sandler. Also starring
- who else - Burt Reynolds.
- Luckily for you guys with real lives, I have nothing better to
worry about than whether
Ben Affleck will pop the question on Valentine's Day?
You know, since it's St. Valentine's Day, the mob should consider
- Weekly World News:
A new study reveals that the sexier a woman's name, the hotter
she's likely to be. Not only that, but if a woman
changes her unsexy name to a more erotic one, she quickly becomes
sexier. That's the claim of the Marilyn Institute's executive
director Adonis Studly, who was born Bernard Freeb.
VIRGINIA BANS MARRIAGE BETWEEN COUPLES WHO WEAR DROOPY PANTS.
- In its latest effort to protect the sanctity of traditional
marriage, the Virginia House of Delegates today passed a law
banning marriage between two people who wear low-riding pants.
Mimas orbits Saturn. Large, close, and impressive!
Michael Jackson taken off the air in Switzerland.: "YESSSS!
That means more available air time for Zamfir, master of the Pan
Microsoft's AntiSpyware disabled by a Spyware
- Looking for that perfect Valentine's gift? How about
"sex in a can" for women.
- "The spray was used on 261 female participants, aged 35 to
45, some of whom reported a fourfold increase in the incidence
of good sex. "
How does ESPN celebrate Valentine's Day? By picking the hottest
- Very few couples on the list actually consists of two
athletes (Hamm/Garciaparra, Graf/Agassi, e.g.). The rest of
their choices are athletes who are dating or married to
entertainers. Fron this latter grouping, I don't see how you can
top Marilyn and DiMaggio, who were each the biggest star in
their respective fields. Even if you took today's biggest star
and paired her with today's greatest athlete, the pairing would
still pale in the spotlight of MM and DiMag. Stars don't shine
as bright as they used to. Barry Bonds and Nicole Kidman, for
example? Nowhere near Joe and Marilyn. The only pairing I can
see coming close would be (maybe) Kournikova with Tom Cruise or
Brad Pitt, and even that seems to fall short.
Seabed 'scarred' by tsunami quake
The international trailer for Turtles Can Fly
- "'Turtles Can Fly' is the third feature from internationally
acclaimed Iranian filmmaker Bahman Ghobadi ('A Time For Drunken
Horses'). Written, directed and produced by Ghobadi, the film
features of cast of local non-actor children. It is set in
Ghobadi's native Kurdistan on the eve of the American invasion
of Iraq. This film won the Golden Shell at San Sebastian and the
Silver Bear at Chicago and is the Iranian entry to the Academy
for 2004 Foreign Film consideration.
Three new clips from the Irish dramedy, Rory O'Shea Was Here
The trailer for the animated Madagascar
- "Ben Stiller ('Meet the Parents'), Chris Rock ('Chris Rock
Never Scared'), David Schwimmer (TV's 'Friends') and Jada
Pinkett Smith ('Collateral') star as the voices of four zoo
animals who hang up when they hear the call of the wild."
Canseco spills the beans on steroids. Juiced : Wild Times, Rampant
'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big.
Maris' son wants Canseco claims probed "Former home run
king Roger Maris's son wants baseball authorities to investigate
accusations by former slugger Jose Canseco that he used
performance-enhancing drugs with some of the sport's top players,
including Mark McGwire and Jason Giambi."
Letterman's "Top Ten Messages Left On Jose Canseco's Answering
The Aviator team of Martin Scorsese, Leonardo DiCaprio and
screenwriter John Logan are in early talks to develop a remake of
Akira Kurosawa's 1948 classic Drunken Angel.
Prize-Winning Female Athlete Is Actually Male: "Sithole
told the court he was born congenitally deformed. A tribal healer,
known in the West as a witchdoctor, gave him 'female status' but
the spell didn't work properly because his family didn't pay the
healer's full fee."
Cub Scout sells 10 tons of popcorn.
POWER RANKINGS: NFL Final Power Poll. Surprise - the
Patriots are on top.
Culpepper sounds off on Randy Moss
Bjork, the nutbag Icelandic singer, goes all Sean Penn on a
reporter in Bangkok.
This one time, at band camp ... "Police said the band
teacher had tied young girls to chairs with duct tape and rope and
then re-enacted bondage scenes from his porn collection."
Mississippi Squirrel Revival by Ray Stevens
USATODAY.com's gossip columnist says she heard a rumor that
Jessica Alba will do Playboy this year. Don't hold your
breath, but it would be mucho cool if true.
Boston University students create a porn mag.
Federal agents discovered more than 6 tons of marijuana in a
shipment of yams. The feds were suspicious because the
same Jamaican company's name surfaced a year earlier when Customs
officers found 877 pounds of marijuana in an abandoned shipment of
pumpkins. Could be another movie role for Michael Rapaport! They
thought they'd fool the Feds by keeping the same company name, but
switching from pumpkins to yams! Suh-weet!
SCI FI Channel has ordered a second season of its hit series
Debbie Gibson's new album is called Buns of Steel - and for good
BUSH PROMISES TO BRING TROOPS HOME THROUGH IRAN. Most
Direct Route, President Says.
- "On a related subject, Mr. Bush said that the vote-counting
in Iraq’s historic presidential elections was not yet complete
but that it looked like the winner would be actor Jamie Foxx,
for his performance in 'Ray.'"
Marcia Cross says "I'm not gay". "And I'll even offer
to follow the Mike Piazza route and marry a Playmate to prove it
- The end of the world as we know it ...
Britney Spears' marriage to dancer Kevin Federline is reportedly
on the rocks, according to two US magazines.
Russell crowes about actors appearing in ads. Russell
Crowe has taken a whiny little bitch swipe at George Clooney,
Harrison Ford and Robert de Niro for appearing in TV ads. The
simon-pure, unsullied Gladiator star tells GQ magazine, 'I don't
use my celebrity to make a living. I don't do ads for suits in
Spain like George Clooney or cigarettes in Japan like Harrison
Ford." Interestingly, DeNiro responded by kissing Crowe.
Prince Charles to marry long-time partner Camilla Parker Bowles.
BERNIE MAC BATTLES A DEADLY ILLNESS.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Here are the final results and comments for last week's poll Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
This week's poll...
Who has the best Bum in Hollywood?
For each nominee I've included a movie or two that features a great, rear nude performance.
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Please Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
A very special thanks to the Ghost for these....
The Ghost first sent in these 'caps and vids of Candice Michelle back in June of last year...long before anyone knew who she was. Now she's a Rasslin' babe, and of course the star of the GoDaddy.com commercial that aired during the Super Bowl.
Here she is topless, full frontal doing some posing and getting it on in a regular pseudo-sex scene as well as a 3-way scene from an episode of the late night series "Hotel Erotica".
- Candice Michelle
- Candice Michelle zipped .wmvs
- Candice Michelle and Tina Leiu. Posing nude in links 1-5, sharing a dude in 5-7.
- Candice Michelle and Tina Leiu zipped .wmvs. Vids 1-6 feature both ladies posing, vids 7-9 feature them in bed with a dude.
|Deborah Kara Unger
||Here's the Canadian actress showing a little cleavage and looking good in her undies in scenes from "One Point O" aka "Paranoia 1.0" (2004). This movie made it's debut last year at Sundance and was just released on DVD in January.
||Sadly "Club Dread" is still her only nudity, but at least she does show some cleavage as she strips down to her bra in these scenes from "Madhouse" (2004).
||The 80's and 90's direct-to-video actress and sometimes TV guest star baring breasts and bum in scenes from "Terror in Paradise" (1990).
'Caps and comments by Dann:
This 2004 drama from Spain with many titles (The Life, You puta, Whore), is not a drama at all, but rather a documentary with a fictional drama woven around about an hour of interviews with prostitutes. The producers claim: "This film does not use any actors for the interview portions of the film." That's the majority of the movie, and almost all the women in the collage.
In the drama part, a wannabe actress (Daryl Hannah) makes a living as a prostitute while trying to land acting gigs. Her neighbor (Denise Richards) is a graduate student desperately needing money, so the actress introduces her to the world of prostitution.
The drama part is fairly lame and predictable given the rest of the movie, and actually makes up a very small portion of the movie. They could have/should have left it out, but the interviews with the prostitutes are interesting.
Many will not enjoy this movie, but I felt it did a good job of de-glamorizing the world's oldest profession. It also includes quite a bit on porn actresses, which the filmmakers seem to consider as just another type of prostitute. Given that the dictionary definition of prostitute is "One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts", and given that is exactly what a porn actress does, it's kind of difficult to argue otherwise.
|Kitt 'caps of the Dupont heiress and grade Z actress/writer/financier going baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Olivia" (1983).
|Señor Skin 'caps from the 1988 direct-to-vid slasher flick, "Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers". Hartman shows off some nice toplessness in several scenes.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
SEXIEST WOMEN OF VARIOUS AGES
It'd Be Absolutely Fabulous If They'd Stop This - A panel of beauty experts
assembled by the UK edition of Good Housekeeping magazine chose Kylie
Minogue as the sexiest thirtysomething, over Kate Beckinsale and Catherine
Zeta-Jones. The sexiest woman in her forties was Elle Macpherson; Joanna
Lumley of "Absolutely Fabulous" was the sexiest fiftysomething; Catherine
Deneuve topped the sixties category; and the sexiest seventysomething was
Honor Blackman, who played Pussy Galore in "Dr. No."
Even in her 70's, her Pussy remains world-famous.
And Joan Rivers won in the "100-plus" category.
Elle Macpherson must be relieved to hear she still looks great for her age.
"APPRENTICE" SUED TO ADMIT DISABLED
Get Charla From "The Amazing Race" - James Schottel Jr., a quadriplegic
lawyer from St. Louis, is suing the producers of Donald Trump's NBC TV
show, "The Apprentice," for requiring that all contestants be in excellent
physical health. Schottel says he's never tried out himself and is seeking
no monetary damages, but he wants to establish that Americans with
Disabilities Act protections should extend to TV.
It does: Donald Trump himself has a hair deformity...I mean, if that
hairstyle isn't a handicap, what is?
Contestants have to be able to get down on their knees and
kiss Trump's ass.
All the women contestants have got to have legs, and know how to use
Never mind the disabled, how about some affirmative action for Americans
Who Aren't Smokin' Hot?
Laws requiring you to hire the mentally disabled already extend to TV
IDEAL MATE IS A TV NEWS BABE
Barbara Walters?! - Two UK dating agencies analyzed 23,000 matches to
determine what sort of person the average single professional thinks would
be the perfect partner. Women want a man with authority, earning power and
life-saving skills, and their ideal mate's profession is surgeon. Men want
an attractive woman who makes good money; is quick thinking, intelligent
and feminine; and cares about the human condition. Their ideal mate is a
TV news woman. The researchers said it didn't seem to strike men as a
major drawback that the typical TV infobabe gets up at 3 a.m., goes to work
at 6 a.m. and goes to bed at 9 p.m.
So does the typical surgeon, so they only marry each other.
They've also never touched an infobabe's hair...A man could break his
nose on one of those helmets.
So they think when a man fantasizes about an orgy, he pictures the women
of "The View"?
They're wrong: the ideal mate for most men is a female TV sportscaster.
These days, most women's ideal man is a plastic surgeon.