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"Bread and Chocolate"

Bread and Chocolate (1973) is an excellent Italian comedy (7.8 of 10 at IMDB) about an Italian immigrant to Switzerland (Nino Manfredi) who wants to make it big, and bring his family to Switzerland. He is a sort of everyman, but with the worlds worst luck. He strikes out at everything he tries, from landing a full-time job as a waiter, to chicken plucking. He is a gentle soul, but not a classy as the company he would like to keep, yet too sophisticated and ambitious to return to poverty in Italy. There is a little slapstick, a lot of humorous situations, and you care deeply about the character before the film is over.

Two women show breasts, in what are totally gratuitous nude scenes. The first is Nelide Giammarco, who is a hooker sunbathing in the home of a wealthy industrialist whom Manfredi nearly lands a job with. The second is an unidentified blonde who is sunbathing at the chicken ranch. The film won a host of international awards. The spoken language is mostly Italian, with a little German, Greek, and god knows what else thrown in. Most of the Italian is translated into English subtitles. The transfer is mostly overexposed, but despite these faults, I enjoyed the film very much. C+

  • Thumbnails

  • Nelide Giammarco (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Johnny Firecloud"

    Johnny Firecloud (1975) is a David Friedman film produced and directed by William Allen Castleman, and was the highest budget film to come from Friedman at $200k. It was an attempt to stay in the drive-in market after porn chased nudie-cuties out of the theaters. It is the story of a Vietnam veteran Indian who returns to his small home town, thinking he has earned the right to live in the white mans world. He was hoping to continue his relationship with the man who controlled the town's daughter. What he finds is a town still thinking of him as a stinking Indian. The sheriff tries to harass him into leaving town.

    When his grandfather is hung, and his childhood friend who teaches at the reservation school is raped and murdered, he goes on the warpath. Christina Hart (The Stewardesses) shows her breasts in a flashback, and also in an interrupted sex scene. Sacheen Littlefeather (The Trial of Billy Jack) also shows her breasts during the rape. You might remember her from the 1972 academy awards. She is the one who accepted Brando's Best Actor award. IMDB readers score it 5.9 of 10. This Something Weird Video release is typical of their work, with a decent Widescreen letterbox transfer, and commentary by Friedman, which is always a treat. I found the plot rather predictable, but watchable. C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Christina Hart (1, 2)
  • Sacheen Littlefeather (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)




    Sexual Predator is the erotic thriller with Angie Everhart. I agree with Tuna on this one. By the standards of sexual thrillers, it is one of the very few which could stand alone without the sex scenes. I actually watched it through to the end because I wanted to see the identity of the killer. Unfortunately, the sex scenes aren't that imaginative or interesting. The most erotic scene, as Tuna pointed out, occurred when they had their clothes on, before they ever had sex.

    Two Moon Junction is one of the very best softcore sex films ever made. I guess I'd put it on my top 10 list of erotic entertainments with The Lover, I Like to Play Games, Basic Instinct, and the other genre classics. Oh, it's a dumb movie, but it took a beautiful mainstream actress and got her naked in good light with good photography, so how much can you complain?

    • Sherilyn Fenn. (Ol' Zalman King managed to sneak in a shot right up Ms Fenn's bumhole. See collage four. I wonder if Fenn has even seen this. You can't see it in the widescreen version, so you have to flip the DVD over to the full screen side.)
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
    • Kristy McNichol (1, 2)

    I haven't seen the new Rollerball, but you better polish up a few Razzies for this puppy, because it got the worst reviews since Glitter. In fact, it got worse reviews than Glitter! 4% good reviews overall, and a perfect goose egg from the inner circle. Here's the Rotten Tomatoes page. This certainly kicks a few holes in my remake theory, because the original Rollerball was a good idea that should have been done much better - an ideal candidate for a remake, by my theory. Something went wrong. Back to the drawing board.

    The following are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    The February Arena was a fashion model issue, with the babes of Victoria's Secret and the review of a fashion photographer's career. Here are the results.

    Blackshine sent in versions of the first three a couple of days ago. They are:

    • Adriana Lima in a real nice outfit, both dorsal and ventral surfaces showing a lot, but not nearly enough.

    • Emma Hemming barely covered by anything at all.

    • Heidi Klum on the beach. Or at least I labeled this as Heidi Klum. Blackshine labeled it as Eva Herzigova, but as you can see below, Eva has her own topless-but-covered-on-the-beach picture.

    New stuff:

    • Eva Herzigova in the aforementioned picture of her from the back

    • Kate Moss with one of her mini-hooters escaping. I've figured this out now. A panel or board of directors decides each year what the total area of hooters these gals can expose in any one year. And since, say Laetitia has way more area to expose than Kate, she gets nekkid a lot less frequently. Yep, that must be it.

    • Tasha Tilberg with piercings and tattoos and some goodie exposure.

    • Last up is Naomi Campbell, who seems to spend more time out of her clothes than in them.

    Asia Argento
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Looking a bit more skanky than usual in "Scarlet Diva" (she wrote and directed as well). Breast exposure in all links. Pubes in links #2 and #3.

    Florence Thomassin
    (1, 2, 3)

    From "Beaumarchais, l'insolent" (1996). Nip slips in #1 and some groping in #2.

    Virginie Ledoyen A dark love scene with a bit of breast and bum exposure. Vidcaps from "De l'amour" (2001).

    Yvonne Kerouedan I think Hankster would approve of these topless and full frontal 'caps from the French TV series "Inca de oro". Nothing too kooky, but she is hanging upside down.

    Britney Spears Today, our Britney's-Breast-o-meter reads about an a-cup in this bikini scene from her upcoming movie "Crossroads".

    Kate Winslet Bootleg images, but the quality isn't too shabby. Here is Kate topless in "Iris".

    Sophie Marceau
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Topless, rear nudity, and full frontal views (link #5) in scenes from "Descente aux enfers" (1986). The French actress was only about 20 when she made this one, and looks terrific nude! Vidcaps by Jotell.

    Indira Varma
    Sarita Choudhury

    From "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" (1996). Both ladies appear topless, and Indira Varma also has a full frontal nude scene. Very nice collages by Cambo.

    Deborah Caprioglio
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    More Tinto Brass Euro-nudity. Today's it's the naturally busty Deborah Caprioglio in scenes from "Paprika" (1989).

    Here's the breakdown:

  • Topless...links #7,8,9, and 10
  • Full Frontal...links #1,2 and 4
  • Gyno-Cam...links #3,5 and 6

  • Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    >From IMDB News. Time to pause for one minute of silent mourning in the Funhouse...

    Cameron Diaz: No More Sex Scenes

    Sexy actress Cameron Diaz has vowed never to shoot another movie sex scene -in a bid to keep her boyfriend Jared Leto happy. The blonde star romps naked with Tom Cruise in current screen hit Vanilla Sky, but says it's the last time fans will be able to see her in the flesh - because of her beau. She says, "Tom was so considerate and we laughed about doing it. But I don't want to go to work and get into bed with someone else, not even Tom Cruise. It's not like I enjoy it."

    Kournikova Branded A Cheater

    Tennis babe Anna Kournikova has been thrown out of a top Russian university after officials discovered her dad was taking her exams for her. The Russian racket queen, now based in Miami, hadn't been to a lecture at the Moscow Academy Of Physical Culture for more than two years and officials got suspicious when she still passed the course with flying colors.

    University dean Sergeje Tabakova says, "Although she lost interest in studying and failed to attend lectures, she still passed all her exams with As and Bs, thanks to her father." Anna's dad Sergei is an honorary professor at the university, where his daughter was enrolled in 1997. Ironically her ice hockey-playing boyfriend Sergei Federov is also a student at the academy and still finds time to attend the occasional seminar. Kournikova has maintained her position as the highest-profile player on the tennis circuit despite her ranking slipping to a lowly 86th in the world.

    And from E! Online...

    FRIEND TO YOU AND ME: Sheldon Allman, the lyricist behind TV's George of the Jungle theme song, has died of heart failure at his home near Los Angeles. He was 77.