The Boynton Beach Club

There isn't a lot of verbiage to be expended on this film. It's basically an episode of Love American Style except it's an episode where all the American lovers are living in a retirement community, brought together as members of a club for people who have recently been left alone. The film's themes are shallow, and the more painful aspects of aging are either glossed over with glib comedy or ignored completely. The people pair off easily, have sex almost immediately, and always seem to hit it off. The conflicts come from trivial matters: one woman lies about her age, another claims to be a widow when she is really a divorcee, while another has let her driver's license expire. One man lets his date form a mistaken impression of his career; another sends an old picture of himself to an internet blind date (only to find out that she couldn't care less because she's a hooker!) That gives you the general idea. It's lightweight stuff, with the expected assortment of light comedy and musical comedy actors: Dyan Cannon (who looks tremendous at 69), Sally Kellerman (who still has that sexy voice), Brenda Vaccaro, Michael Nouri, Len Cariou, and Joseph Bologna. Excepting Nouri, they were all born in the mid 1930s, and are basically playing the roles they have been playing all their lives, except older versions this time around.

The characters are too busy being cute to be real, but Cariou does a great job at drawing audience empathy as the shy guy, and everything works out pleasantly for one and all. Given that it's essentially a romantic sitcom about old geezers, a genre which seldom finds its way to the top of my Netflix queue, I found it a pleasant enough time-killer.

The most striking and most talked about element of the film is a topless scene from Hot Lips Houlihan, age 68.


Sally Kellerman (zipped .wmv)




* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Snakewoman (2005) is the latest directorial effort from 76-year-old Jess Franco. It his his 188th directorial credit at IMDb in a filmography which dates back to 1957, which means this year marks his 50th anniversary as a director.


Lesbian vampires. (Who would have dreamed?)


True to form, he has made an erotic horror film with lots of nudity. The story is so minimal that what follows really will be spoilers.

Real Spoilers

Fata Morgana works for a media firm, and is tasked with obtaining rights to the body of work of a once notorious Hungarian actress/singer/artist. She travels to meet the woman's heirs, and ends up meeting the "Snakewoman," who is the dead actress with snake tattoos and dark hair rather than her former blonde. Snakewoman (Carmen Montes) has been eating pussy, literally, before her arrival, as we see from some scenes with Christie Levin. Snakewoman falls for Fata Morgana in a big way, ends up approving the sale of rights to her work, and she and Morgana carpet-munch their way into the future.

End Real Spoilers

Lina Romay appears, but keeps her clothes on. Her hair is growing back, and I am guessing she has beaten her cancer, but I am also guessing we have seen the last of her nude roles. Fata Morgana, Carmen Montes and Christie Levin all show everything. There are also some grainy B&W shots, supposedly of the Montes character in her prime, that I didn't bother with. They do show Montes giving a blow job, then biting the obviously fake penis. This must be the reason some have called this film "hard-core."

Jess Franco is only happy when he is making a movie, and is not that concerned with whether it is good, bad or somewhere in between. This is not his best effort to date, although the IMDb score places it near the top of his post-1990 output, faint praise though that may be:

  • (4.97) - Red Silk (1999)
  • (4.62) - Vampire Blues (1999)
  • (4.57) - Snakewoman (2005)
  • (4.16) - Broken Dolls (1999)
  • (3.92) - Helter Skelter (2000)
  • (3.78) - Killer Barbys vs. Dracula (2002)
  • (3.63) - Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula in 8 Legs to Love You (1998)
  • (3.63) - Killer Barbys (1996)
  • (3.61) - Blind Target (2000)
  • (3.47) - Tender Flesh (1998)
  • (3.40) - Vampire Junction (2001)
  • (3.02) - Lust for Frankenstein (1998)

    On our scale: D.


    Fata Morgana



    Carmen Montes



    Christie Levin









    Amanda Seyfried in Alphadog
    Olivia Wilde in Alphadog
    Andrea Edmondson in The Pet
    Lydia McLane in The Pet
    Summer Nguyen in The Pet
    Anne-Sophie Franck, Lea Seydoux and Stephanie Sokolinski in Mes Copines
    Aurelia Petit in The Science of Sleep
    Carice VanHouten in Zwartboek
    Halina Reijn in Zwartboek
    Cecile Breccia in President
    Sandy Lobry in President
    Geraldine Pailhas in  Je Pense A Vous
    Marina DeVan in  Je Pense A Vous
    Siwan Morris in Skins S01E02
    unknown in Skins S01E02






    "Son of the Beach"

    It's a "Babe in Bondage" day. From Television's Son of the Beach we have caps and three clips of Kim Oja tied up and stripped down to her bra & panties.

    Also we have these caps of Sophie Marceau's famous boob-baring at the Cannes Film Festival.






    Notes and collages

    The Ladies of Sci-fi/Fantasy

    Species 2

    Ms. Henstridge is a stunning beauty.  Regarding this "Species 2" series of collages, I want to point out that large image in the first collage for my fellow collagists: that image is also a collage (of four images.) The original scene is a camera pan up her body in full frame; she is never seen like this in the film; I spliced together those panning images into one big piece.







    Killing Floor

    Here is an exclusive for Scoopy members, This movie won't come out anywhere until late March.

    Marc Blucas plays David Lamont, a successful book publisher, and an asshole who treats his clients and friends like shit. One day he moves into a Penthouse apartment where he meets a mysterious woman, Audrey (Reiko), who lives on the third floor. One day he gets the visit from a detective and a guy who claims he is the real owner of the penthouse, saying that his father never sold it,. David tells them that everything was in order and sends them to talk to his attorney. After this he starts receiving packages with crime scene photographs that seem to have taken place in his new apartment. He thinks it's a joke being played by his best friend, who is mad at him, but he then receives a series of stalker videotapes that document his every move. David then becomes convinced that someone wants him out of the apartment, but he is not willing to go away. He contacts a detective and the two of them begin to investigate. Bodies start to pile up and David is the only suspect. With the help of Rebecca (Shiri), his assistant, David finds out that some of the people involved have the same names as the characters in a book David didn't bother to read and whose writer he never met, so everything seems to be a payback for his arrogance.

     Shiri Appleby and Reiko Aylesworth show some skin, but not as much as we could have hoped for.

     Shiri Appleby

    Reiko Aylesworth








    City of Industry

    Dana Barron



    Lucy Liu










    Three women from Wes Craven's first mainstream film, Last House on the Left.

    First, Sandra Cassell


    Lucy Grantham in Last House on the Left.
    Jeramie Rain in Last House on the Left.
    A HD look at Hilary Swank's bum in The Black Dahlia
    And a nice one of Mia Kirshner from the same film


    Whatever problems you may have with French movies, you will find it difficult to dispute that the French know how to film a sex scene. Here's some sexy and romantic stuff from Claire Nebout in La Riviere Esperance, a TV mini-series from 1995. As mini-series sex scenes go, this sure beats the piss out of The Fuckin' Thorn Birds